Why do so many black women relax their hair? video

[Crackers Phinn]

Now I agree with this 100%!

I saw the traction alopecia women but the other women, I'on know, the tape wasn't that great but their hair looked aight to me. Not all black folks hair has major shine naturally, without the added oils and such.

The only clarification I want to make is I was referring to 'sheen' not 'shine'. People who go the natural product route can and do attain the 'juice and berries' look, where the hair is moisturized and has luster.

 

[Yellowflowers]

I like having the versatility to either wear my hair natural (although I'm not currently natural) or relax it. As Black women we have the ability to make our hair whatever we want it to be. So that's what I draw from that. So what if she thinks that we're being oppressed by the standards of beauty. It's not all one sided because there's millions of White women going to plastic surgeons to get the breasts and asses that we naturally come with.

I agree. The way we wear our hair is simply a matter of personal choice. Black people have been relaxing thier hair since egyptian times. We are unique as a race of people because we have more options available to us than any other race in the world.

This is just another angry teeth baring radical group who want to control others and appoint themselves as the authority on black hair care social issues.

White women can get perms, hair coloring and other services and no one says anything. But when black people exercise thier hair care options there is always some underlying self hatred motive behind it.

We do not have to feel guilty if we chose to straighten our hair. We are still pretty damn beautiful however we decide to wear our hair

 

[jwhitley6]

Look, you'se my people's and all and normally I would agree with you but I think there is some validity to the other side of this arguement.

First off, the women in this video seem to be the type of folks who believe that having natural hair means just letting it sprout from your head without any maintenance. The loose haired and bunned up speakers from the audience had visible breakage. Both panelists with braids had receding hairlines that looked alot like severe traction alopecia. When the camera panned the audience and panel, there was no trace of luster or sheen (signs of healthy natural hair) on not nan head in the room.

Now I put this out there to say that IF folks are going to preach the gospel of natural hair THEN their natural hair has got to be on point. I'm not talking about people needing to have curl definition or a certain style, I mean your hair should look like it's thriving because it is natural.

A major beef I have with people who lecture about perms is that they go in for the 'self hate' card because it's easy as opposed to the reality that most people who relax are doing it out of habit. They want to tell you how evil the perm is, but the harder issue is how to break the habit.

Going natural is not a simple or easy process for people who have been used to applying perm every 6-8 weeks for 10, 15, 20+ years. Perm is familiar, women know what to expect from a relaxer. Dealing with natural hair after a lifetime of relaxing can be frustrating and expensive, because now it is up to you and you alone to essentially learn a 'new trade' when it comes to dealing with your hair.

If I had made a video about the 'evils/dangers/whatevers' of relaxing -I wouldn't be adversarial and put myself on a pedastal as natural equating self love while relaxing indicates self hate. I would talk to people the way I wanted to be talked to (as someone who had relaxed hair for 27 years) and address the fear of the unknown. I would give them the lowdown on the pluses and minuses of whatever state they wear their hair and talk to them about the options available. To me, that's how you break ground on the issue.

But instead, this us vs them them stance, causes more heartache and resentment than there needs to be.

Kudos, once again, JCoily.

 

[SexySin985]

The only clarification I want to make is I was referring to 'sheen' not 'shine'. People who go the natural product route can and do attain the 'juice and berries' look, where the hair is moisturized and has luster.

Coming to America

:Boy, dat aint nothin' but some Ultra Perm!::

 

[godsflowerrr]

Coming to America

:Boy, dat aint nothin' but some Ultra Perm!::

funny!!!!!

 

[beyondcute]

I went back and read the comments and this stuck out to me...

People of African ancestry generally want to have hair like non-Africans. Could it be because things like shininess, smoothness, pleasant texture, attractive movement and so forth actually ARE better than a 'fro or cornrows or dreads?

Do peopel really think this? How many people actually honestly think that thier hair isnt 'good' the way it is?

 

[Denim And Leather]

I went back and read the comments and this stuck out to me...

People of African ancestry generally want to have hair like non-Africans. Could it be because things like shininess, smoothness, pleasant texture, attractive movement and so forth actually ARE better than a 'fro or cornrows or dreads?

Do peopel really think this? How many people actually honestly think that thier hair isnt 'good' the way it is?

I do notice that it seems like a lot of people I know who have straight hair want it curly, and those who have curly hair want it straight.

BTW, great post, JCoily!

 

[chocolatesis]

I do notice that it seems like a lot of people I know who have straight hair want it curly, and those who have curly hair want it straight.

That's true. It does seem like often people want what they don't have.

 

[sareca]

WOW....I agree with you ladies...It's not that deep, but there are some who really are against it and that is for historical reasons. Most of us here accept the history of what relaxers stood for but do not let it consume us and relax as a personal preference. A lifestyle. not because of self hatred.

Exactly. Do Asians that straighten their hair hate themselves too?

 

[caltron]

I went back and read the comments and this stuck out to me...

People of African ancestry generally want to have hair like non-Africans. Could it be because things like shininess, smoothness, pleasant texture, attractive movement and so forth actually ARE better than a 'fro or cornrows or dreads?

Do peopel really think this? How many people actually honestly think that thier hair isnt 'good' the way it is?

No one ever wants to answer this question. When it comes right down to it, there's just no denying that there's large number of black women who wish that they had white girl hair. It's just taboo to admit it for some reason.

 

[Crackers Phinn]

I went back and read the comments and this stuck out to me...

People of African ancestry generally want to have hair like non-Africans. Could it be because things like shininess, smoothness, pleasant texture, attractive movement and so forth actually ARE better than a 'fro or cornrows or dreads?

Do peopel really think this? How many people actually honestly think that thier hair isnt 'good' the way it is?

As someone previously stated - "The grass is always greener".

However the bolded statement was written by someone who has absolutely no idea what healthy natural hair on a person of African ancestry feels like.

Those of us who take care of our hair, can't keep our hands out of it because the texture is very pleasant to the touch. It is smooth and while we don't have shine, we do have sheen/luster. A sparkly diamond and a lustery pearl are both beautiful, just in different ways. And the diamond or pearl you see at a jeweler doesn't look the way it did when taken from the earth - both of these gems had some help along the way to bring them to their full potential. I feel the same thing applies to hair across the board.

I still contend that most black women perm out of habit. Three years ago, you couldn't have told me that I would be natural today. If somebody would have approached me on the subject, I know my first question would have been 'how is this easier than perming?' and if they didn't have answers for my laundry list of questions - I would dismiss the possibility outright. Finding this board and looking at Fotki albums is what made the difference for me.

Oh and please don't forget that the WORST propoganda about how horrible natural hair is comes from the stylists who maintain a steady cashflow by rotating their clients in every six weeks cuz their hair NEEDS perm. If the person who went to school to 'learn hair' says that your hair needs perm, then who are you to argue?

So again, this is beyond just an issue of self hate. Yeah there are some folks who want 'white girl hair', but I think the majority of black women just want familiar, attractive and easy styling options. Those of us who struggled/are struggling through transitioning should understand that better than most.

 

[caligirl]

No one ever wants to answer this question. When it comes right down to it, there's just no denying that there's large number of black women who wish that they had white girl hair. It's just taboo to admit it for some reason.

How many times have you heard "my hair was swinging like a white girl" as the person smiles with pride?

 

[brownhaired_bonanza]

How many times have you heard "my hair was swinging like a white girl" as the person smiles with pride?

Oooh... good point. I could never bring myself to say that. Just my 2 cent$.

 

[caribeandiva]

ok that was a total waste of my time. the relaxer was invented to make black women's hair more manageable not to emulate other races. that's exactly why i do it. i had natural hair till i was 14. the relaxer makes combing my hair so much easier (and less painful in my opinion). before i relaxed i' used the hot combs. so either way it wasn't because i don't love myself that i did those things. it was looking for a styling improvement!

 

[Tene]

No one ever wants to answer this question. When it comes right down to it, there's just no denying that there's large number of black women who wish that they had white girl hair. It's just taboo to admit it for some reason.

I totally agree with this a large amount black women do wish this. The reasons are far beyond just wanting styling options for some. A large amount of black women don't like whats growing out of their head. I've seen too many black people refer to each other's hair as nappy or in other derogatory manners. They be rushing to get a relaxer as soon as they see a kink. My friend just the other day asked me when was I getting my hair relax and as soon as I told her I'm not she looked all wild eyed and asked what am I going to do with it. A large amount of black people look down on natural hair. I think some people are in denial and just don't want to admit it.

 

[caltron]

ok that was a total waste of my time. the relaxer was invented to make black women's hair more manageable not to emulate other races. that's exactly why i do it. i had natural hair till i was 14. the relaxer makes combing my hair so much easier (and less painful in my opinion). before i relaxed i' used the hot combs. so either way it wasn't because i don't love myself that i did those things. it was looking for a styling improvement!

If it's just about manageability, then why don't more black women have TWAs. There is nothing easier to manage than a TWA.

 

[angelk316]

ok that was a total waste of my time. the relaxer was invented to make black women's hair more manageable not to emulate other races. that's exactly why i do it. i had natural hair till i was 14. the relaxer makes combing my hair so much easier (and less painful in my opinion). before i relaxed i' used the hot combs. so either way it wasn't because i don't love myself that i did those things. it was looking for a styling improvement!

If relaxing made hair more manageable and made combing hair so much easier then why is there even hair boards to discuss these issues. Ive noticed alot of people come to this board because they have problems with their relaxed hair wheather it be because their hair is breaking, it won't grow etc etc.Does that make it more manageable?
If a relaxer made the hairm more moanageable why are their lots of books on hair care.
Wheather your natural or relaxed you still have to take care of your hair. Both types of hair has its problems.
Try Reading
Hair Story : Untangling the Roots of Black Hair in America by Ayana Byrd and Lori Tharps
To find the real truth behind hair relaxers.

 

[SilkyandSmooth]

If it's just about manageability, then why don't more black women have TWAs. There is nothing easier to manage than a TWA.

Maybe they don't like short hair? When I decided to go natural, I transitioned for 18 months instead of chopping right away. I did it that way because I don't like short hair on me. I love wearing my hair in a ponytail or bun. I love the versatility of longer hair. As for the relaxing=self hate theory, I think it's absolutely ridiculous. My hair has been natural (most of my life, didn't relax until I was 18), relaxed and texlaxed and I have NEVER hated my hair.

 

[Poohbear]

Here are my thoughts about the whole issue:

Black women relax their hair for several different reasons...

Black women wear their hair natural for several different reasons...

We CANNOT say that every black woman relaxes their hair because of one sole reason...

We CANNOT say that every black woman wears their hair natural because of one sole reason...

I also believe most relaxed haired women relax their hair out of habit... I was one of them until I discovered LHCF, Nappturality, MotownGirl, and several natural hair albums and pictures which broke my habit. I saw natural hair as a better alternative for ME because of several different reasons.

I can only speak for myself. We can only speak for ourselves. We cannot generalize relaxed women nor natural women into one category.

 

[Poohbear]

Could it be because things like shininess, smoothness, pleasant texture, attractive movement and so forth actually ARE better than a 'fro or cornrows or dreads?

My simply answer to this question... NO!

Some people may think it's better, some people may not. As for myself, I do not think any hair texture or type is any better than the other. Same with skin complexions... your natural hair texture and skin color is all equally unique and beautiful to me! It's ridiculous to think one is better or worse.

But I believe there is a difference between thinking something is better/worse than finding something is attractive/unattractive...

When thinking something is better or worse, there's a hierarchy of what's best and what's worse. One will be seen as inferior or unacceptable while the other is seen as superior or acceptable. This is not good to think this way when it comes to hair, and skin color.

When finding something attractive or unattractive, there's leeway with that. One can find straight hair attractive or unattractive, you can find curly hair attractive or unattractive, or you can find both straight and curly hair attractive (I'm not sure if someone finds both straight and curly unattractive ).

 

[MizaniMami]

How many times have you heard "my hair was swinging like a white girl" as the person smiles with pride?

That's just an expression. Just because we are AA does that me we are restricted to greasy hair that is sopped to our heads?! It's just like when people say ' I got more as$ than a black girl." Just a simple expression.

And Why does this topic always keep coming up?!

Personally I think AA women are too sensitive about natural hair and what OTHER women are doing to theirs.

If you don't like the fact that other women relax their hair and you choose not to, fine, then don't do it. And certainly (this is not directed towards you Caligirl) don't tell me why I decide to do what I do! There is not one universal answer to why black women relax...

 

[Emotional_High]

I will admit it...The only reason i relax my hair is because I DO NOT think that my natural hair is pretty looking. There is no way that i would risk burns, damage and baldness if it didn't make me look better. My ego wants me to have the hair that is acceptable to the world. If I were to go natural, everyday would feel like a bad hair day to me. So i choose to risk being burned, bald and suffer from hair damage as long as it make me look good (temporarily)

My ego is also the reason why i eat "soul food" when i know that i shouldn't. The soulfood makes my tongue feel good.

If i was so in love with myself i don't think i would feel a need to put any chemical in my hair. That would mean that i think there is something about me that i need to CHANGE. If i don't have a relaxer, i feel like i can't go out and do business things because my hair looks "bad".

I feel sorry for feeling this way but it's the truth. Hopefully i will live to see the day when my natural hair is considered beautiful and i don't feel the need to curl it, press it, relax it, twist it, or even cut it. (for some reason i don't feel that day will be anytime soon)

 

[MizaniMami]

I will admit it...The only reason i relax my hair is because I DO NOT think that my natural hair is pretty looking. There is no way that i would risk burns, damage and baldness if it didn't make me look better. My ego wants me to have the hair that is acceptable to the world. If I were to go natural, everyday would feel like a bad hair day to me. So i choose to risk being burned, bald and suffer from hair damage as long as it make me look good (temporarily)

My ego is also the reason why i eat "soul food" when i know that i shouldn't. The soulfood makes my tongue feel good.

If i was so in love with myself i don't think i would feel a need to put any chemical in my hair. That would mean that i think there is something about me that i need to CHANGE. If i don't have a relaxer, i feel like i can't go out and do business things because my hair looks "bad".

I feel sorry for feeling this way but it's the truth. Hopefully i will live to see the day when my natural hair is considered beautiful and i don't feel the need to curl it, press it, relax it, twist it, or even cut it. (for some reason i don't feel that day will be anytime soon)

Don't be sorry for feeling this way. A lot of women feel this way about their bodies-hence working out, the way they think-hence therapy, the way they look-hence makeup, and a list of other things.

I think it is so "wrong" here because this is a hair forum. It's your opinion and that is okay. A lot of us may not agree but whatever, you have to do what's right for you.

 

[Southernbella.]

When it comes right down to it, there's just no denying that there's large number of black women who wish that they had white girl hair. It's just taboo to admit it for some reason.

I think that's true for some black women. Personally, I wouldn't want white girl hair. No offense to them, but their hair has always looked thin and oily to me. I love thick, textured hair. Even though my hair is relaxed, it looks NOTHING like white girl hair, and I pray it never does.

I think a more accurate statement would be that a large number of black women like the STYLES that white/straight-haired women wear, and you just can't get those with black hair in its natural, unaltered state.

How else would you explain the fact that many naturals still use heat to straighten their hair, however infrequently? Many have given up chemical relaxers, but they still press it. Answer: Because many of us like straight STYLES.

 

[beyondcute]

ok that was a total waste of my time. the relaxer was invented to make black women's hair more manageable not to emulate other races. that's exactly why i do it. i had natural hair till i was 14. the relaxer makes combing my hair so much easier (and less painful in my opinion). before i relaxed i' used the hot combs. so either way it wasn't because i don't love myself that i did those things. it was looking for a styling improvement!

Sorry to negate your opinion but I must tell you relaxers were not created to make black womens hair more managable. The first 'invented/patented' relaxer was made to turn sheeps wool mink-like. The advertisements will show you they were made to make 'nappy ugly' hair 'pretty.' After going thru 400 years of slavery without the use of combs, brushes and modern styling aids Im sure there were numerous ways (and there were) that black women found to make thier hair managable. If we were taught from the beginning HOW to comb our hair then we wouldnt have so many problems dealin with what is naturally ours. If a person wnats to relax Im fine with it but I think peopel shoudl really take a REALISTIC look at the history of the products AND a realistic look at the way they percieve thier own hair. To those women who actually KNOW how to take care of thier natural hair I commend you. Just seems odd to me tht so many (myself once included) black woman cant take care of thier natural hair by themselves, are content with it, and would have a fit it they HAD to do it.

 

[isioma85]

Oooh... good point. I could never bring myself to say that. Just my 2 cent$.

Hmmm. That was deep.erplexed No matter how straight i get my hair, I wouldn't ever say I wanted it to look like a white girl's hair. I just want it to be manageable.

 

[Mizani_Mrs]

I'm not going to even bother to watch the video because i can already see from what they are saying that it's filled with bigoted self-hatred. When people speak like this, i think they've had issues with being black and they've FINALLY come into realization and self-love and now they are lashing out at all blacks to try to put us in the 'i hate myself' boat, that they used to be in. NEWSFLASH::: I'VE NEVER HATED MYSELF NOR MY HAIR....
As for me, it is NOT THAT SERIOUS. I proudly wear my hair relaxed because i simply love how it looks on me and I love long and textured straight hair. I personally love the look of long 'textured' hair, not just any type of long hair. And i simply think that my hair is an 'accessory' my hair just happens to be my most loved and cared for, accessory that I own. It is also my crown and glory which is why i take pride in it and I take care of it to the best I know how. And its that simple...I love natural hair just as much as i love relaxed hair, and i can appreciate seeing a natural head...but i just simply choose not to be natural. maybe when i am older, it is possible...

 

[testimony777]

I do notice that it seems like a lot of people I know who have straight hair want it curly, and those who have curly hair want it straight.

BTW, great post, JCoily!

I certainly notice that lots of folks with curly hair want straight hair vise versa but I have never met a person who had straight hair or curly hair that wanted kinky hair.

We are all influenced by the European standard of beauty that places silky smooth hair above kinky hair. Most, if not all, products on the market are designed to help people get closer to a silky, shiny, smooth hair texture and being natural does not necessarily make you exempt from this.

How many of us, if forced to take either a pill that would make your hair straighter or one that would make it kinkier would opt for the kinky pill? Of those that would opt for the kinky pill would you do it because you genuinely think kinky hair is more beautiful or because you would want to resist white standards of beauty?

I think that it is very hard to grow up in this country or in any country where western standards of beauty dominate (pretty much everywhere) and not on some level see straight, silky, smooth, and shiny hair as being better or at least more desirable than coiled, cottony, kinky, maybe sheeny (I know this is not a word) hair.

 

[locabouthair]

Look, you'se my people's and all and normally I would agree with you but I think there is some validity to the other side of this arguement.

First off, the women in this video seem to be the type of folks who believe that having natural hair means just letting it sprout from your head without any maintenance. The loose haired and bunned up speakers from the audience had visible breakage. Both panelists with braids had receding hairlines that looked alot like severe traction alopecia. When the camera panned the audience and panel, there was no trace of luster or sheen (signs of healthy natural hair) on not nan head in the room.

Now I put this out there to say that IF folks are going to preach the gospel of natural hair THEN their natural hair has got to be on point. I'm not talking about people needing to have curl definition or a certain style, I mean your hair should look like it's thriving because it is natural.

A major beef I have with people who lecture about perms is that they go in for the 'self hate' card because it's easy as opposed to the reality that most people who relax are doing it out of habit. They want to tell you how evil the perm is, but the harder issue is how to break the habit.

Going natural is not a simple or easy process for people who have been used to applying perm every 6-8 weeks for 10, 15, 20+ years. Perm is familiar, women know what to expect from a relaxer. Dealing with natural hair after a lifetime of relaxing can be frustrating and expensive, because now it is up to you and you alone to essentially learn a 'new trade' when it comes to dealing with your hair.

If I had made a video about the 'evils/dangers/whatevers' of relaxing -I wouldn't be adversarial and put myself on a pedastal as natural equating self love while relaxing indicates self hate. I would talk to people the way I wanted to be talked to (as someone who had relaxed hair for 27 years) and address the fear of the unknown. I would give them the lowdown on the pluses and minuses of whatever state they wear their hair and talk to them about the options available. To me, that's how you break ground on the issue.

But instead, this us vs them them stance, causes more heartache and resentment than there needs to be.

i agree with everything you said except for the bolded part. i have heard on here before that it is soemtimes hard for natural hair to have sheen because the cuticle is not flat. correct me if i am wrong.

i am tired of people saying that we don't love ourselves if we relax our hair. i've know indian and hispanic women with naturally curly hair who chemically straighten their hair but no one says that they don't love themselves. please.

 

[dicapr]

I relax because it it convience. My mother made me wait until I could do my natural hair before letting my get a relaxer-at 16. I can tell you, do to my being lazy relaxing works for me better. I can do a pony tail in about 60 seconds . . . something I could never do with my natural hair. As far as black women wanting kinkier hair it depends on the popular style. My mother said in the early 70's she would wash her wavy hair in listerine mouth wash, braid it on sponge rollers, and pick it out in the morning to wear a afro because that was the style. I've also seen documentaries where japanese guys who were into hip hop culture had some wierd type of teasing process done to kink their hair so they could rock a 'fro.