doriannc
Well-Known Member
Sorry if I sound like I'm ranting but I have to let off some frustration that I'm feeling right now. I recently ended my relationship/engagement with a guy that I really did love. We met while he was training me and my friends for a job that we had been offered. He was from another state. During the time he was my superior, we have a very HR approved relationship and when training was over that was that. I really did like him, and I think I even prayed that he would come back into my life. He did months later. We started sending emails, then chatting online and then talking on the phone. We talked once for 10 hrs straight. 
(I know). We saw each other whenever we could, flying back and forth, since we lived in different states.
All was perfect, until he met my family. My parents didn't want to meet him and didn't approve of him. When I told them that I was moving in with him and going back to school for my masters, things hit the fan. My grandfather changed his will to cut me out of everything and my parents wouldn't let me into their home. They basically disowned me. It was hard to get used to, but it was harder living with him, once I moved out of state.
I didn't have anything to my name when I moved. My family had taken everything away from me. I was just starting out after graduating from college so my family "helped" me out. Because I didn't have any clothes or anything, I had to rely on the local women's shelter to help me. I had to take public transportation and work 12 to 14 hrs a day just so I can get on my feet. I found out I was pregnant, but I guess the stress of everything made me lose it.
Even though I gave up everything to be with him, my boyfriend didn't really give up anything for me. When I left to go to the grocery store w/o telling him, he would freak out. Saying that he thought I had left him for good. He went through our phone records to see who I had been calling. He didn't want to me to speak to my family and when they called, he would call them things I would never do. He let me use his car, but under one condition...that he would be fed. There would be days that I wouldn't come home until late after working 14 hrs and he wouldn't eat all day b/c he didn't know how to "cook." This was the the straw that broke the camels back.
He came and took back his car while I was at work b/c I didn't bring him lunch one day. He told me that I could no longer use his car and I was lazy. I told him that I was fed up working so hard for nothing and if he was going to be like this I would just moved back. He got really mad and we started arguing. I then threw a bowl at the wall b/c I was so angry. He then started to push me out of the room to kick me out. I told him I wouldn't go w/o my wallet and my phone. He then started choking me and took me downstairs as he was doing this. He then pushed me out of the townhouse and locked me out. It was freezing outside, I didn't have my wallet, any shoes on, and my phone was broken b/c he broke it. I didn't know what do I was in a new state, I hardly knew anyone and now this. I called the women's shelter that had helped me. They took me in, I got a hold of my best friend and he and his boyfriend came all the way from TX to Kansas to pick me up. I had to get a police escort to get all my stuff from our place.
When my friends and I were leaving Kansas, my ex called me and said that I had damaged him and that I made a decision that effect both of us. He blames me for leaving him. As you see I was not the reason why I left, he was. He said if I didn't throw the bowl at the wall, he wouldn't have had to "restrain" me from hurting him or myself. The next day he lost his job that he loved so much. His friends tell me that they are worried that he will hurt himself.
Now 3 weeks later, I am hundreds of miles away from him, and I am still upset. Up until things got sour, he was my best friend. I don't want him back, but I just want him to be ok, as messed up as it seems. I really beat myself up over the fact that I still care deeply for someone who has hurt me both emotionally and physically. I don't feel optimistic about my future like everyone around does.
Has anyone still had feelings for someone that had hurt you? How did you get over it or do you get over it?
(I know). We saw each other whenever we could, flying back and forth, since we lived in different states. All was perfect, until he met my family. My parents didn't want to meet him and didn't approve of him. When I told them that I was moving in with him and going back to school for my masters, things hit the fan. My grandfather changed his will to cut me out of everything and my parents wouldn't let me into their home. They basically disowned me. It was hard to get used to, but it was harder living with him, once I moved out of state.
I didn't have anything to my name when I moved. My family had taken everything away from me. I was just starting out after graduating from college so my family "helped" me out. Because I didn't have any clothes or anything, I had to rely on the local women's shelter to help me. I had to take public transportation and work 12 to 14 hrs a day just so I can get on my feet. I found out I was pregnant, but I guess the stress of everything made me lose it.
Even though I gave up everything to be with him, my boyfriend didn't really give up anything for me. When I left to go to the grocery store w/o telling him, he would freak out. Saying that he thought I had left him for good. He went through our phone records to see who I had been calling. He didn't want to me to speak to my family and when they called, he would call them things I would never do. He let me use his car, but under one condition...that he would be fed. There would be days that I wouldn't come home until late after working 14 hrs and he wouldn't eat all day b/c he didn't know how to "cook." This was the the straw that broke the camels back.
He came and took back his car while I was at work b/c I didn't bring him lunch one day. He told me that I could no longer use his car and I was lazy. I told him that I was fed up working so hard for nothing and if he was going to be like this I would just moved back. He got really mad and we started arguing. I then threw a bowl at the wall b/c I was so angry. He then started to push me out of the room to kick me out. I told him I wouldn't go w/o my wallet and my phone. He then started choking me and took me downstairs as he was doing this. He then pushed me out of the townhouse and locked me out. It was freezing outside, I didn't have my wallet, any shoes on, and my phone was broken b/c he broke it. I didn't know what do I was in a new state, I hardly knew anyone and now this. I called the women's shelter that had helped me. They took me in, I got a hold of my best friend and he and his boyfriend came all the way from TX to Kansas to pick me up. I had to get a police escort to get all my stuff from our place.
When my friends and I were leaving Kansas, my ex called me and said that I had damaged him and that I made a decision that effect both of us. He blames me for leaving him. As you see I was not the reason why I left, he was. He said if I didn't throw the bowl at the wall, he wouldn't have had to "restrain" me from hurting him or myself. The next day he lost his job that he loved so much. His friends tell me that they are worried that he will hurt himself.
Now 3 weeks later, I am hundreds of miles away from him, and I am still upset. Up until things got sour, he was my best friend. I don't want him back, but I just want him to be ok, as messed up as it seems. I really beat myself up over the fact that I still care deeply for someone who has hurt me both emotionally and physically. I don't feel optimistic about my future like everyone around does.
Has anyone still had feelings for someone that had hurt you? How did you get over it or do you get over it?
