Who taught you how to date?

[PretteePlease]

Serious question. Who answered the following questions for you:

what is an appropriate age to date?
What do you wear to a date?
What was a date?
What was supposed to happen on a date?
Who drove?
Who paid?

I was only told that I wasn't allowed to date

 

[cutiepiebabygirl]

LOL...

I had to teach my damn self....learning the hard way. I'm talking B-S-T!!

To answer your question, my mom married at 18...so she didn't date. She got divorced at 28...so she didn't know how to date..got married at 30 again...so she had no advice to give.

So this is based on my experience and I'm 28 with an 8 yr old(lol)

What is an appropriate age to date? 16 - PG stuff...no serious dating..

What do you wear to a date? Something cute...nothing too revealing at any age!

What was a date? A date is where a guy asks the girl out (old school)...and he takes her somewhere that is special/ to have/get to know her. This special place does NOT include where he resides!!

What was supposed to happen on a date? Fun, get to know you type of stuff. Nothing deep.

Who drove? Both...over 18...and you should meet at the place. NEVER let someone new know where you live. Under 18...the guy's parents.

Who paid? The guy!

 

[weaveadiva]

i'm also self-taught (which is probably why i'm so bad at it )

moms did tell me, however, that i couldn't date until 16 (wasn't a problem) and that under no circumstances should he honk. get out and come to the door like a man shoulld

 

[topsyturvy86]

No one. I taught myself. I wish someone had taught me but I got there in the end!

 

[daydreem2876]

No one.
I know nothing.
My best advice is "Do as I say NOT as I do".

 

[Daeuiel]

I wasn't allowed to date either. No one taught me. I decided what I would do when the time came. I think I did alright.

I don't know about an appropriate age...18? I don't think I missed out on anything by not dating until then...

Cute, non-revealing casual clothes. I always save the sexy stuff for when I have an SO, most guys tend to be more impressed by what I have to say on the dates as opposed to what I'm wearing. Exception: I wore a Batman t-shirt on my first date with my current SO (over 2 years ago) and he STILL talks about that. In a good way. :blush3:

A date was meeting up with a guy, getting to know him and deciding if he was worth my time, pretty much.

We were supposed to talk, he was supposed to impress me LOL

I'm a New Yorker, the MTA drove

The guy ALWAYS pays. Busting out a calculator to decide how much I have to pay is NOT impressive!

 

[caltron]

Yup, I learned by experience too. I think that's really the only way. Other than safety issues (like only meeting in public places at first, not giving out too much personal info too soon, etc.), you just have to be willing to learn from your mistakes.

 

[itismehmmkay]

I never really went on real dates; my folks were trying to keep me as sheltered as possible I guess. I don't think that's good. I hope to encourage relationships w/ my lil guy through supervised dating.

 

[ThickHair]

What is an appropriate age to date? 16 for one on one, according to my mom, and that is when it happened. Oh, there were large group dates starting in 9th grade (everyone going to the movies in pairs)

What do you wear to a date? Age appropriate, jeans and top.

What was a date? Movies, amusement park, roller skating (that was the ultimate proof that you were the girlfriend LOL) normal teen stuff

What was supposed to happen on a date? Hold hands, kissing

Who drove? Public transportation (FH told me he had a car as soon as he was 16. I told him none of my BF's had cars in high school )

Who paid? The boy

 

[babyb900]

Life......

 

[-Volare]

I taught myself everything pretty much, my mom taught me the basics...I just filled in all the blanks.

 

[metro_qt]

Serious question. Who answered the following questions for you:

what is an appropriate age to date?
What do you wear to a date?
What was a date?
What was supposed to happen on a date?
Who drove?
Who paid?

I was only told that I wasn't allowed to date

lol. me too.
i was NOT allowed to date.

so i didn't... until i was 20.

what i did observe was my mother and how she ran things.
My father, the house, etc.
I just assumed that the man has to pay, i was young and had no car, so of COURSE he was driving...
and what to wear on a date?
I was formerly a churchy-church girl, so I dressed conservatively on dates not to give them the 'wrong idea'

 

[PretteePlease]

This is kind of sad to me. Why did we for the most part teach ourselves to date. I was taught general things like to have my own money, not to act a fool in public, not to ride with folks that were drinking etc but never really taught to date. I remember my mom told me once that I should probably think about breaking up with someone that made me cry so much be she seemed really hands off as far as my business. I was grown at the time. I did get the talk but I wasn't trying to hear it cause it was already too late

I kind of long for the time when a girl was taught to be a young lady and how a young lady was to act and how to be treated. And likewise for a young man to ge a gentleman. I guess that's what happens when teens marry and never really dated. I think my mom was 17 and my dad was 19 when they got married.

 

[mrselle]

No one taught me how to date. I went on about four dates when I was in high school and didn't date much when I was in college. Anything I "know" about dating I learned from watching my girlfriends and what I learned from them was very superficial.

what is an appropriate age to date? I think it depends on the person. When I was growing up I could not date until I was 16. My stepdaughter went on a group date when she was 14.

What do you wear to a date? Whatever makes you feel comfortable. I always felt most comfortable in jeans and a cute top, but I also wore cute dresses during the summer. My girlfriends wore some of everything....jeans, slacks, dresses, gowns, etc...

What was a date? Dinner and a movie just the two of us or with a group of friends, bowling...

What was supposed to happen on a date? A bunch of talking.

Who drove? They guy drove.

Who paid? The guy paid.

 

[Godyssey]

Wow. I'd say that my biggest influence was t.v. Although, I'd gone out with just my dad or just my grandfather on occasions. They taught me (without me knowing I was being taught) that the man opened doors, walked on the side closest to the street, paid...etc.

My mom always stressed that I should NEVER let a guy hit me and if he threatens it or does, to leave him alone. No matter how "sorry" he'd claim to be, he'd always do it again. She also told me that I should want to be made love to than had sex with but I thought that was way TMI.

what is an appropriate age to date? I didn't "date" until 8th grade, but it was never an issue. I don't think my parents had an age limit for us. My sister had boyfriends at a younger age then I did.

What do you wear to a date? Depended on the date. A dress or jeans depending on where the date took place.

What was a date? Movies, going to the mall, a party, just hanging out alone or with friends.

What was supposed to happen on a date? Definitely PG. Holding hands, slow dancing, pecks, hugging, etc.

Who drove? Him, after he got his license

Who paid? Him

 

[LifeafterLHCF]

I wasn't taught.I just wanted to be loved by something and dove in.Now I'm pretty ****ed up with dating.I don't know how to be easy bc I'm very aggressive.I don't know how to be dainty and approachable.

I wish there was a way to be taught but then not everything works for everyone.

 

[ScorpioBeauty09]

My mom is the one who taught me how to date though I've gone to my dad when necessary because even though my mom's my #1 confidante, men is the one thing we don't see eye to eye on.erplexed Some of the stuff my mom drilled into my head I've let go.

I went to an all-girls, Catholic school so I didn't have any real opportunities to date. During my Cotillion in my last year of HS one of the escorts had a crush on me and my mom was so excited she pushed me into dating him so I'd say I have no real experience dating. But then I've also realized I don't believe in dating the way most people do it lol.

 

[Renewed1]

Self-taught. Alot of pain and experience and talking with other men and women. Now I think I have a handle on it.

But there's this father, who actually is teaching his daughter how to date men. He takes her out on monthly dates and show her how she should be treated, conversations, about men, etc.

I thought that was a great idea, because he is being upfront and honest with his daughter. He's protecting his daughter from the WRONG men and....maybe....getting her heart broken. She will measure men to what her father has taught and done for her. Which means the guy needs to be a step above. And for the RIGHT MAN, that is an easy feat.

 

[MizAvalon]

I learned through trial and error.

My parents were engaged after dating for 3 months as teenagers so they couldn't really help me with dating advice.

 

[Lady Esquire]

Serious question. Who answered the following questions for you:


I was only told that I wasn't allowed to date

I was never allowed. When I met my high school sweetheart on my 16th birthday, I dated him on the sly at first. But it lasted for 2 years, so eventually I got the courage to introduce him to my mom, to date openly. I'm answering this from a mom's perspective since my DD turns 13 in April.

what is an appropriate age to date? 16

What do you wear to a date? lady-like, covering the lady parts.

What was a date? movies, food, sports game, carnivals, school events, and other young people events.

What was supposed to happen on a date? no PDA, maybe some holding hands, conversation, and maybe a kiss at the end.

Who drove? he did Who paid? he did (but always have money of your own, as insurance)


Also, my DD is involved in a girls' mentoring group that talks about this stuff. She used to be so shy and more and more this group has brought out her confidence. They have dinners with the related boys' mentoring group, where they get to practice the etiquette they've learned. They get all dressed up, to practice their table manners. The boys open doors, hold out chairs for the girls, get drinks for them, etc. The two groups practice their mingling skills, public speaking, shaking hands, introductions.

She's learning a ton of valuable stuff that will be applicable to dating in a few years. Almost all of the kids are minorities, so I really like that they're getting this exposure/grooming. My 35-year-old bff says she wishes she could enroll now that she's going thru a divorce and re-entering the dating world for the first time in 11 years.

 

[Lisa]

My parents (mostly my mom she liked to talk about this stuff) told me about boys (not so much about dating). My father was very brief..."boys your age only want sex ...I should know I was your age once" I hope you are saying those words in a deep male voice.

Serious question. Who answered the following questions for you:

what is an appropriate age to date? Just the 2 of you alone about 17 or 18 but I was 22
What do you wear to a date? Business casual lol: hey I was 22 and I've never been big on jeans).
What was a date? Dinner and a movie
What was supposed to happen on a date? You are suppose to talk and get to know each other (THAT'S ALL... and if you like him he can have a church hug )
Who drove? He did!
Who paid? He did!

 

[NYAmicas]

No one......

 

[TrueToHair]

.........................

 

[Imani]

No one. I just got the usual: boys are bad, keep ur legs closed and don't get pregnant and focus on ur education and career.

Anything about dating I learned it from reading a book or article or something like that.

 

[Honey Bee]

My mom, and when her friends acted surprised that we were having those conversations, she'd say, 'You wouldn't send a soldier into a war without a gun, so why would you do that to your little girl?' We never had 'the talk', cuz we'd had it a zillion times by then. I'm thankful that I was well-informed.

 

[softblackcotton]

Serious question. Who answered the following questions for you:
Nobody had to figure out on my own based on my own observations and common sense.

what is an appropriate age to date?
When you are old enough or mature (mindwise) enough after high school seemed right to me at first. Then when I got to college I thought after college. Now, it's just when you meet someone worth dating.

What do you wear to a date?

Something decent. Nice shirt and jeans, comfortable shoes. Gloss. Just look regular, everyday because I can't keep that high maintenance Glam stuff up 24/7. That's not me.

What was a date?

When the guy paid for everything. If the woman has to pay for anything, it's a not a date. It's a friendly outing with an associate.

What was supposed to happen on a date?

You should get to know the person well enough by asking good questions and listening to them. You should get a sense of the real person after a series of dates. Fun should happen also but focus on the getting to know and understand the person. Sex should never happen if the date is not your husband.

Who drove? Both. If the person you are dating is really new. What if you want to leave the date early? What if he is a psych and drives you off into some woods and...?


Who paid?

The man. But if you have been dating for a year or more then you might want to chip in sometimes.



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[mischka]

direct response to the title question: tv. seriously i learned most of my social-romantic cues from charming fake characters in tv and movies. not that i mimic stuff i see on tv, but in terms of helping shape the types of interactions i want or want to encourage.

other than that, i try to create the kind of date for the other person that i would want for myself. i would hate to go on a boring date with a closed off partner, so i always try to be fun and personable (which is an effort i don't really undertake in daily life bc it's not my natural disposition necessarily). i make sure the conversation doesn't lag and (i consider myself a pretty funny chick) that i'm making the guy laugh some. i basically don't want to have a date be a total waste of time, or a date that seems like a total failure because we are nervous or it's an OMG AWKWARD FIRST DATE so i make an effort to be more pleasant and easygoing that i normally am. i haven't ever really been on a date where things were just totally dead, so basically all my dates consist of me trying to have a good time and dragging along my date with me.

Serious question. Who answered the following questions for you:

what is an appropriate age to date? i would say fifteen for those who are so inclined.

What do you wear to a date? well, for starters i hardly ever wear heels but that's mostly because i'm already five nine. i dress generally casually - well fitting jeans and normally focusing on outerwear as the crux of the outfit (a nice jacket, blazer, or cardigan). i will generally only wear a dress for a fancier date or if there is some sort of formal/professional aspect for some reason.

What was a date? two people going out together with the intentions of deciding whether they like each other and want to hang out again

What was supposed to happen on a date? the only thing i really find necessary to happen on a date is good conversation and that one person isn't acting like a sullen jerk who shouldn't have bothered to show up. i don't have any rules about who pays, good night kisses, having drinks, or whatever.

Who drove? i have never been on a date where i was the driver.

Who paid? i can't think of a time off the top of my head where i paid for a date but i'm sure i probably have paid at least half before since i'm not a stickler for that particular rule. i have never paid for a man on a date though, and i never will.

This is kind of sad to me. Why did we for the most part teach ourselves to date.

I kind of long for the time when a girl was taught to be a young lady and how a young lady was to act and how to be treated. And likewise for a young man to ge a gentleman.

idk, i think in general dating is not something that parents teach their children. people just pick it up or ask their friends/older siblings for advice, i think. i've never really heard of parents sitting down and teaching their kids, processes and steps or whatever when it comes to dating. i don't think the commonsense advice that parents give their children has anything to do with the type of stuff an awkward or inexperienced person would consider being taught to date.

 

[Chrissy811]

No one which explains a lot!!!

 

[Syrah]

Life, my friends' experiences, the media etc. Its been a hodge-podge affair.

An appropriate age to date? 18. Group dates at younger ages, sure. But one-on-one, `18.

What do you wear to a date? It depends on what I'm doing. I do however, have a rule about the assets - only one asset on a display at a time. No boobies and booty together - thats too much, and honestly, leads to unwanted attention.

What was a date? The movies. Palace Park (local family fun center with go-carts, arcade, laser tag etc). The mall. Carnivals. My high school prom date took me horseback riding. I was on the tennis team and I "dated" two boys that were on the boys team, so it started out with "lets play tennis" and then "you wanna grab something to eat afterwards".

What was supposed to happen at the end of the date? I dunno - I was to young, naive and surprised that boys were interested in me to even get as far as HIS expectations.

Who drove? He did. He paid.

And my dad was waiting for me when I got home...

 

[CurlyMoo]

Still learning............