White Dude Gets With Indian/guyanese Girl But Doesn't Want His Kid To Be Too Brown

[Ganjababy]

What is the Guyanes part of her? She is Indian and?

A lot of my Indian mixed Guyanes friends are colorstruck...

 

[NOEChic]

Thanks for expounding. I don't mind a male/female acquaintance or being friendly but as you stated, there are boundaries and I don't think it's appropriate to get all deep, vulnerable and emotional with another man regardless of if you knew him first.

To be honest, there's something very odd about another woman/man being so adamant to cling to the whole "that's my best friend' title with a grown married/committed man.

One of my besties is a married man, I met in 2011. I've kept his kids while he was deployed, his driven me to the airport 1.5 miles away, I've helped him and his wife househunt a little bit in another town. Someone called his wife saying her husband was a lunch with a woman, she said oh that must be noechic. I have surgery coming up, his wife offered to come and take care of me. They live in tx, I live in va. I've called him to complain about my ex, my job, my family.

 

[FemmeFatale]

One of my besties is a married man, I met in 2011. I've kept his kids while he was deployed, his driven me to the airport 1.5 miles away, I've helped him and his wife househunt a little bit in another town. Someone called his wife saying her husband was a lunch with a woman, she said oh that must be noechic. I have surgery coming up, his wife offered to come and take care of me. They live in tx, I live in va. I've called him to complain about my ex, my job, my family.

You and the wife seem to have a good and healthy relationship plus there's an understanding and I think that makes a difference. But I know that I would fall back just a little.

 

[30something]

She needs to find a real man. Sounds like a boy.

 

[LiftedUp]

You and the wife seem to have a good and healthy relationship plus there's an understanding and I think that makes a difference. But I know that I would fall back just a little.

Me too. I establish a certain arms length distance with married men. Going out to lunch etc is a no no even though I have been invited to such by married men. Unless it's business or we are related, I'll pass.

 

[*~*Afrolicious*~*]

She messaged him saying her fiancé (white) just said if they have kids he doesn't want them to be too brown. He wants them to look Mediterranean. Then she calls DH crying about it and DH said he could hear her dude in the background shouting and they started having an argument so he just hung up.

First of all I said to DH, Why is she calling and messaging you though?

So he messages her back saying 'you need to discuss it with him and let him know how the comment made you feel, not call me'.

She messages back saying 'sorry for getting you involved I just needed a friend.' And she's told him in the past that he's the only white guy she knows that isn't ignorant and unbiased. So she's all venting saying her fiancé is ignorant and he disgusts her and he says all kind of ignorant ish and he finds it funny when he sees a white guy with a black girl. And to top it off, dude is joining the police in January .

I'm thinking, girl, you better not still be marrying this dude.

DH was tested many times during our relationship because there was no way I was gonna go through this kind of mess. I have lhcf to thank for that because y'all made me hyper aware of any racist ignorant ish so I was on the lookout. Thankfully he passed the tests.

You better call his ass out

 

[CurlyMoo]

@SheenaVee ...

Please guard your marriage, it is sacred and it is a precious gift...your husband chose YOU among all others to marry. It is obvious that he treasures you as a gift to him. It is obvious that you love him too.

There are far too many anti-white opinions here on LHCF, which you may take to heart and unjustly misappropriate upon your husband.

You have your own instincts and you have prayer...you know better than anyone the beauty of the love that you and your husband share. Guard your heart from being pulled into the anti-white comments which could turn your heart away from the man you love and married. Guard your heart for words have power.

God bless you and your husband.

Thank you Shimmie, Love this message. Love it.
I agree everyone should guard their marriage.
I see and hear so much negativity and misery love company behavior sent in the direction of married couples. Unintentional and/or intentional.

 

[LunadeMiel]

@KCcurly
No I have not. Based on a host of information, I'm sure she has no issues with me and her DH.
Now that I'm going to crash their crib for thanksgiving ya'll gonna have me avoiding talking to my bestie! lol J/k

@FemmeFatale
I'm glad you said that I didn't have to be married to get it cuz some folks would dismiss my opinion because of that reason.
I've never dated someone who had a problem with me confiding in another male whom they know is my close friend, nor would I have a problem with them having a bestie who is a female friend especially if they were there prior to me coming on the scene. But I hear you though about sharing intimacy with another and I read it somewhere. But I think circumstances dictate when it is or isn't appropriate. A blanket statement about all female/male friends is unfair. I don't know what I would do without my bestie! You all are making me feel so grateful for what I have especially if it's not the norm.

In my view, the man or woman doesn't stop being your friend because they are now in a romantic relationship. Everyone needs to feel comfortable, that is key. I do believe in boundaries.

I'll keep learning about masculine and famine energy but in the meanwhile...

DH has a female friend that he talks to regularly...shoot she's so awesome she should really be my friend

 

[Fine 4s]

I really think the key is for the gf of wife to feel comfortable, feel included and there should be lots of transparency between the 'problematic' friendship etc.
If not, the friendship could be a problem.