When you no longer LIKE your "natural look"...WDYD?

[PeanutButterandHoney]

well, i started getting that same itch around that point(although i had other reasons), and only made it to month 11 before relaxing. i instantly regretted it, and started transitioning only 3 months later. '____' i feel like you should give yourself more time to think about this, just to make sure you won't have any regrets. you're only 8 months in. try to give it maybe 4-6 more months, and if you don't like it, relax it then.

oh, and how long did you transition? i read you were 8 months natural, but how many months natural growth do you have? you may still be in that ugly stage (in between twa and baa, where most styles look a lil funky and not in a good way). that was another thing that made me give in to the relaxer. you'll just have to pull through it hun. ♥

I transitioned for a year, my hair is a solid SL when stretched. It looks like a TWA when shingled/twisted out.

 

[PeanutButterandHoney]

Oh yeah...part of my new things to try, this latest twist-out was done by doing a dry DC for 20 hours...rinsing it out 95%, adding a little CHI silk infusion and doing a light blow-dry to stretch the roots, so the twists look longer....I love it!
I did the blow-dry on cold, but high blast...I didn't dry 100%, then did braids for a day while it air-dried. The next day I did the twists, and took them out after 2 days....Its been 6 days and the hair is still soft and moisturized...!

Going to try this!

 

[brownelovely]

I feel the same way about my natural hair. The only style I can wear successfully for a few hours is a puff which only welcome SS knots

So, I'm planning a flat iron session for tomorrow. SO is tired of the bushy ponytails erplexed...even I am.

 

[KnottyGurl]

Hot comb, flat iron, or BKT it. Afterwards, if you really prefer it straight, stick with BKT or heat train it.

ETA: Didn't see your post Are rollersets out? I just saw a natural do a rollerset on YT and it came out great

 

[MekyakaKinkerbelle]

I remember being in your shoes around that stage.

Not sure how long it is, I know you said you are tired of the 'fro look, but I would totally weave it up. Get something fly for the summer. Maybe even a cute little bob. Being pregnant is probably a factor as well. I'm 4 years in, hair about MBL, and I'm itching to do something...mainly because I am pregnant, hormones change your hair a little overall, don't have the energy to really 'do' anything to it on a regular basis.

I was strongly thinking about texturizing/relaxing/something.

So, you know what I did? Bought a wig. A hot, little bob with chinese bangs. Threw that bad boy on last night, DH was like, "What did you do to your hair?" I was afraid at first, I said, "Why, do you hate it?" and he just said, "No, it's hot. But the natural hair has become a part of you, and you'd die if you did anything to it."

He was right 100%.

You can still switch it up as a natural without making permanent changes.

At the end of the day, do you. But if you still want flexibility, without a complete, permanent change, look into weaves and wigs. There's some hot ones out there these days. Weave being choice #1, Wig #2.

 

[Kash]

Okay ladies here's the deal, I am pregnant so BKT is out.


I also live in south Fl, so the heat and humidity would be a waste of time heat styling,but I am willing to give it a try.

Thank you ladies so much!!!

I am so tired of this afro look

if that's the case...then relaxer chemicals should be out too!

 

[bride91501]

I wanna thank you for being so honest about your feelings about the natural process. It couldn't have been easy to do that, and you're definitely not the only one who's had those thoughts.

I've been a straight hair weave wearer since I was 14, so the day after I did my BC, although I know I look better with natural hair, I probably would have relaxed it if someone had applied a little pressure. Just being honest lol. Thank God I found LHCF on day 2, and even though I decided to PS with a weave (short ones only this time lol), I'm learning to love my natural hair more and more each day.

Its hard when you're in this in-between stage- my hair was 3.5" right before my install- and you're looking at all of these fabulous straightened length shots on LHCF and you begin to think you'll never get there. But we will....in due time we will.

If you TRULY despise your natural hair texture, then relax. No amount of BKT-ing, flat ironing, or any other temporary measure will cure the disdain. But if its more about length, like you think you'd be ok with the texture if it was longer, then hang in there. And know that you're not in this thing alone

 

[MekyakaKinkerbelle]

if that's the case...then relaxer chemicals should be out too!

Not necessarily.

Past 1st trimester, relaxing is less of an issue for some (docs okay it).

At NO time during the pregnancy is BKT ok.

 

[hopeful]

I think what you are feeling is very common. You just get this strong urge to relax and it keeps growing. You want to see your length and show your length. You want to throw it in a quick ponytail. Some folks relax and never look back, others regret it immediately. If you've never had issues with relaxers then you may be okay but if your hair and/or scalp doesn't like relaxers it is probably best to look into alternative options: weaves, braids, tree braids, kinky twists, wigs, straightening, blow-out then twist or braid. If it were me I would stay natural until a few months after I had the baby. You can't really trust your hormones until then.

 

[Sianna]

I'm only about five and a half months from my BC and I have more than once thought of texlaxing. Not seriously enough to actually go through with it, but it has been floating around in my mind.

Like some of the other posters have mentioned, the stage of growth you are at right now is probably a difficult one, I know that's the case for me. You can see that the hair has grown, yet it's still not as long as you want it to be.

I can only suggest that you remember why you went natural in the first place. The chemicals in relaxers can do damage to your scalp over time, can damage and weaken your hair, and CANNOT be reversed! Once the hair is relaxed, it is relaxed, and you might find that it's not what you really wanted after all. I have seen so many women on this and other forums who are transitioning to natural for the second, third, or even fourth time. Don't be so quick to just throw all your progress and hard work away. Give yourself a few more months.

I think between relaxing, and waiting it out for a while, the former is the one you are more likely to regret.

Best of luck in whatever you decide.

 

[Wildkat08]

I think it seriously depends on why u went natural in the first place and if that reason still "stands" or is still important to u. If this forum lead u to be natural, maybe u could have hair just as healthy relaxed now too, simply b/c u found LHCF. I think that several ppl could have healthy relaxed hair after finding LHCF, but a lot of ppl seem to jump to being natural as the only way to get healthy hair... not sure this is the case. I'm a natural b/c it is the best way for me to achieve healthy hair and managable styles. My best friend relaxes b/c her hair health does not suffer b/c of them and it is the best way for her to achieve managable styles. I think LHCF is a great place to be "influenced" but u MUST keep whats best for u in mind when taking advice here. I'd at least try to let the preggars hormones wear off before deciding... who knows how they're influencing u. Good luck w/ ur journey!

 

[ParagonTresses]

Congrats on your pregnancy!! I think you should do what makes you happy. Relaxed or natural doesn't matter, just keep it healthy. Whatever you decide keep us updated and post some pics!!

 

[Mook's hair]

Are you opposed to braids with extensions? They are great in the summertime and will change up your look.

I also cosign not being ashamed about wanting to return to relaxers. It's your hair, your decision. If you feel that there's nothing left that you want to try and you just had an easier time with relaxed hair then do what-u-like!

 

[Whimsy]

Why not flatiron every now and then for a different look?

or try bkt?

 

[paragon1day]

How long is your hair right now do you might me asking? That might be a factor...I got really annoyed when my hair was at an awkward length (all 3 times I BC'd) and i felt limited in my styles. Now that my hair is longer I really feel like i can rock any look from straight to afro.

I think you should BKT. It seems to work for alot of naturals

OT: June 08 siggy pic- how did you get your hair in that style? I love it and I would so love to do my relaxed hair like that

 

[silenttullip]

I think it would be stupid because u put in the time to transition and cut and now it was for nothing BUT if you feel it was for something then relax it

 

[ceebee3]

I think the problem may be that you didn't transition long enough. I would need to transition for more than a year or 2. I just can't work with short hair.

I think you should hang in longer and let your hair grow out some more. Everyone goes through an awkward stage and this seems to be yours.

You've got some great suggestions in this thread, come back and let us know what you decide on.

Good luck!

 

[WhoIAm]

ZeeOl'Lady,

I think you should wait it out and if you still feel the same way after you have your baby, then relax. Just make sure it's a well thought out decision so you will have no regrets. Those hormones are nothing nice. The excerpt below applies a little to what you may be dealing with.

Cuts and styling
During pregnancy many women decide to have their hair cut into a short style so that it is more manageable when their baby is born. While this can be really liberating, many also regret it as during the later stages of pregnancy, your hair can seem like the only part of your body that you can control and dress up.

http://www.askbaby.com/hair-care-during-pregnancy.htm

 

[BostonMaria]

If it were me.. I'd probably do the BKT. That way if I hated it I would have the option of having it wear off. I personally coulnd't back to a permanent chemical.

Is rollersetting & flatironing an option?

I wish you luck on whatever you decide to do!

 

[PeanutButterandHoney]

Hi again ladies,

I would like to thank you sooo much for the helpful tips and words.
So, I asked my Doc at my last visit about relaxers she said that it is okay to relax and if I am feeling antsy wait until the 2nd trimester, but the BKT was a no no during the whole thing.
Funny cuz the week I found out about the BKT, i was gonna go and start my research on it.


Im going to try and answer as many questions as possible:
Roller setting does NOT work on me, lol..it looks a mess
Flat ironing is an option, which I have decided to do..

So, I am going to flat iron tomorrow and I'll let you all know how it goes in this heat lol

 

[shamarie]

I would say... take some time and read through the BKT thread. (I know it's crazy long, but it was worth it for me)

Some have said it is an alternative to relaxing (if you're unsure).

All I can say is that BKT was the best choice for ME.

HTH!

Yea, what she said. I go through this at least once a month. I BKT my hair wear it straight a little bit, then i miss my texture and go back. Remember relaxing wont wash away but the feeling your going is natural and will fade.

 

[shamarie]

OH WAIT UR PREGGER!!!!!!OOoo congrats but yea ur right dont BKT yet. Your carrying perious cargo. Most women I know get braids when pregger. Wait it out a little longer. I know its hard without famliy support but I think maybe you should lean on us on the forum for extra support. We know what ur going thru. HTH

 

[Miss_C]

Maybe color and a BKT will help, you can straighten and then if you decide you want your natural texture back, no transition. Or maybe a texturizer?

*whoops just went back and realized your pregnant (CONGRATS!)*

I amend my suggestions to braids or a texturizer in the 2nd trimester.

 

[purplepeace79]

I think everyone goes through periods of not liking their hair, whether relaxed or natural. I just caution against doing anything too drastic or permanent.

When I get tired of my hair, I braid it or twist it.

I also grew my color out for a year and now I want to color again... and I will! I'm tired of it as it is and I miss having color. *shrug*

 

[hopeful]

oke: OP, how did the flat-iron go?

 

[dany06]

When I use to get to this point I would put my hair in braids for a month or two. When I came out of the braids my head would be clear and I would start liking my hair again. That only lasted so long. I did all those very natural looking hairstyles that did not please me one bit. All I ever wanted was a quick and easy wash and go or a pretty puff that would look good. I was determined to only attempt those style and overlooked all the other possibilities. I never tried bantu knots, or braid outs. I dont know why I didn't. I wanted to love my own texture and somehow find a way to make it look right. Now that Im either transitioning or relaxer stretching Im actually trying out these styles. They really look nice and Im upset that I never tried them. It does help that I have some length. If I could start it all over again and go back to the first time I went natural I would do it so much differently. I would forget about the big chop. I would just grow my hair and work with it.

Seeing the position that you are in try something that you haven't tried. Try rod sets, straw sets, braid outs, bantu knot outs or what ever else. These styles will give you a more elongated curl and have smoother hair. If those styles just aren't working then try braids. Once you come out of them you will have more length and time to think about what you will do next with your hair.

 

[brownbean96]

If you have the urge and desire to relax, I say go for it. It's about what makes you happy.

 

[kbragg]

DO NOT RELAX I'm resisting the urge to shave my head right now when non pregnant it really never crossed my mind. Pregnancy hormones are crazy. Wait until you've had the baby and passed the postpartum shedding period and then decide.

We're both at the same in between length right now and I know what you are going through. I'm transitioning again because I made the drastic decision to try out a texture softener that left me bone straight while still under the influence of hormones.

I suck at roller sets but I've discovered that flexi rod sets work well. I get a really straight sleek look. The two textures bend nicely. You can find them on ebay cheat by searching "bendy rollers."

MsLala's thread gave me new inspiration. It's just going to take time. If you want a straight look or just to show more length, you can do a ponytail roller set and then silk wrap it (Pokahontas' method). As it starts to revert you can braid it out or throw some flexi rods in it to rock a curly wavy look. That could last you a few days, long enough to take you to your next DC/Cowash day. This is my plan if I decide I want a straight look.

Besides, chances are good that the relaxer won't take and jack your hair up anyway. I tried a touch up while pregnant with Caleb and

 

[Curlykale]

You could try stretched styles applying product (water based conditioner, gel) on dry hair instead of wet hair / sleep in twists or braids... you could try also curlformers, I've seen on youtube that they work really well on your hair type. And I believe if you use good heat protectants, the right temperature and do it properly, you can get long breaks with straightened hair. I would do that for at least 6 months... And then decide.

Try to imagine having much longer / still healthy natural hair in 2 or 3 years: would you be happy about it or would you still feel like today?
Transitioning and chopping your hair is hard, you might not want to do it again in the future while still feeling frustrated... I would take this decision really slowly.

 

[PeanutButterandHoney]

I haven't straightened.. I didn't feel like it. But, I am still feeling the same.

Thanks ladies.