When A Man Visits Your Home And Your So Is Not There...

[dlewis]

do you invite him in?

I have never had a man in my home when Dh is not there unless he's related by blood, with a female friend, or with an older (60+) male.

Yest Dh's friend stopped by the house, he didn't knock on the door he came straight to the kitchen window because he said he heard he singing and talking. When I went to the door, he stood about 10' away on the carport and asked where Dh was, etc.

Anyway most of man husband friends, if they stop by when he's not home, they kinda do the same thing this man did.

Does your SO friends do this? Maybe it's a Southern thing?erplexed

 

[kittenz]

I don't have a SO nor have any men been to my house as of late but I think that's really respectful. I'm not southern but I luv those southern qualities.

 

[Dee-Licious]

dont' have a SO. But going back 5 years all of my guys I started out with as my friend. We shared friends, and I was often times frieds with his friends outside of him. So, I ended up still spending time with "his' friends without him there.

Living on my own, past SO's friends have been to my home numerous times without him there.

i'm in the South also

 

[imstush]

No other men come to my home except my SO. At his apt. when he's not there meaning he's run to the store, etc, they will come in and stay in the living room, and I will go to the back to the BR. If he's not there, at work, etc. the door is locked, and if they knock I tell them he's not there and they go about their biz.

 

[cocoaluv]

When my Ex's friends came by to visit and if my ex wasnt there ( we would be at his place) they would wait in the living room and I'd serve water/juice and a snack till he came over. I would never do anything to disrespect my ex so it wasn't a problem if they came inside and waited for him to come home.

 

[GodMadeMePretty]

I think that's really respectful of him. It might be a Southern thing.

Before I speak to a man on the phone, I always tell the wife what it is that I need to speak to him for. It's just something that I do. Except if it's my brothers or my father.

 

[lisatamika]

With us, it depends on the friend. If it's a really good, friend DH/I don't mind if he comes in, especially if DH is coming back soon. Other than that, I don't let anybody in.

 

[dlewis]

I think that's really respectful of him. It might be a Southern thing.

Before I speak to a man on the phone, I always tell the wife what it is that I need to speak to him for. It's just something that I do. Except if it's my brothers or my father.

I always do that.

 

[DSP]

DH's friends know not to drop by without calling first, because I'll refuse to answer the door.

Yes, I AM evil.

 

[Finesse]

They never come in......they don't even step up on the porch. Makes me think about when he had this big *** Rottweiler dog. The dog was like a poodle to me, him and anyone hubby let come into the house...but if you came and hubby did not let you in or up on the porch, the dog would try to tear to you pieces. I got a free TV because of that dog We gave the dog to his cousin when the baby came. I still have that TV

 

[septemberbaby]

do you invite him in?

I have never had a man in my home when Dh is not there unless he's related by blood, with a female friend, or with an older (60+) male.

Yest Dh's friend stopped by the house, he didn't knock on the door he came straight to the kitchen window because he said he heard he singing and talking. When I went to the door, he stood about 10' away on the carport and asked where Dh was, etc.

Anyway most of man husband friends, if they stop by when he's not home, they kinda do the same thing this man did.

Does your SO friends do this? Maybe it's a Southern thing?erplexed

You sing?

I think it's very respectful that your dh's friends' do that. I do know many people who do similar things like that out of respect. Some won't even sit in a car with the opposite sex, especially if it's not their SO.

 

[andreab]

Nope only person in my house is SO. When his friends come looking for him they don't even step up on the porch. I am not letting anyone in. I don't even open the door all the way.

 

[dlewis]

You sing?

I think it's very respectful that your dh's friends' do that. I do know many people who do similar things like that out of respect. Some won't even sit in a car with the opposite sex, especially if it's not their SO.

I'm not good at it but I love to sing. DH and kids normally laugh at me but they're always asking me to sing to them.erplexed

 

[drasgrl]

I have no problem inviting another man in the house. It's no big deal to me. I wouldn't be upset if he invited another woman in the house. I know I'm not doing anything and I trust him. I don't see the bog deal.

 

[betteron2day]

#1 SO has very few friends

#2 He is crazy as h$ll. so they all know not to come in the house when he is not there. I wouldn't let them in even if they didn't because i think it is disrespectful and i don't want to make conversation until he gets there.

 

[junipertree]

Must be a southern thing. I'm from NY but DH's family are southerners and I learned the hard way. One day my daughter's friend came over for a "playdate" and the father brought her by. I was being polite (or so I thought) and invited him in for a while (DH was not home) and he sat in the livingroom with me and we chatted for a bit - mostly about the kids and their school/extracurricular activities. Big mistake. When I innocently told DH about it later his response was "That's weird. Why would he come inside when I wasn't here?" I'm like. I found nothing strange about it but he said he NEVER would have done that. I still don't get the big deal - but I am slightly less "traditional" than he so now I'm more cautious. To keep the peace.

 

[septemberbaby]

I'm not good at it but I love to sing. DH and kids normally laugh at me but they're always asking me to sing to them.erplexed

Aww, that's sweet. You must be better than you think you are if they ask you to sing to them.

 

[dlewis]

Must be a southern thing. I'm from NY but DH's family are southerners and I learned the hard way. One day my daughter's friend came over for a "playdate" and the father brought her by. I was being polite (or so I thought) and invited him in for a while (DH was not home) and he sat in the livingroom with me and we chatted for a bit - mostly about the kids and their school/extracurricular activities. Big mistake. When I innocently told DH about it later his response was "That's weird. Why would he come inside when I wasn't here?" I'm like. I found nothing strange about it but he said he NEVER would have done that. I still don't get the big deal - but I am slightly less "traditional" than he so now I'm more cautious. To keep the peace.

I remember last summer Dh's UNCLE called and asked if he could use my grills, they were having a big family function, I said yes. But when he came to the house, he had no way to get them back to this mothers house. So he grilled the meat at my house. He never came inside. He would tell me to wash the meat or bring him this or that. But he never came in.

When Dh made it home, his uncle got all nervous and Dh told him he wasn't welcomed at his house when he's not home. When I explained what happened, he said you don't know my uncle like that, I quickly shut my mouth because I hadn't, but on a few occassions, seen him like that.erplexed It was not nice.

 

[pattycake0701]

When DH is away, other men do not come into my home...unless it is someone from my family or my father-in-law and vice versa. It has nothing to do with distrust, we do it out of respect.

 

[dlewis]

When DH is away, other men do not come into my home...unless it is someone from my family or my father-in-law and vice versa. It has nothing to do with distrust, we do it out of respect.

FIL is always welcomed

 

[MissScarlett]

I think that's really respectful of him. It might be a Southern thing.

Before I speak to a man on the phone, I always tell the wife what it is that I need to speak to him for. It's just something that I do. Except if it's my brothers or my father.

I agree, its a southern man thing. I dont' entertain dh's friends if dh is not there.

Likewise, If I have to call a male and the wife answers, I introduce myself and say hello, etc.

 

[Everything Zen]

MisterMan's friends are very respectful like that. I don't answer the door when he's not there.

 

[Travis Girl]

My husband's friends don't come by unless they call first and definitely when he's not there. Even our one of our former neighbors (white, southern guy) would just stop at the door, will not cross that threshold. I'd like to think his friends/neighbor repect him and that's why...I don't know....I don't like being alone with a man who's not my husband. The times I have to have a repairmen come by an my husband's not home, I always make it to point to call a friend to have someone on the line. I have several friends who do the same, I'm their "call person." I guess it's a safety issue. I'm sure he's probably doing his job and my girl's on the phone---don't let him sneak up on ya and I'm saying, "Lord, don't let me have to kill this man, just do your job and go!!!

 

[MysteryMe]

do you invite him in?

I have never had a man in my home when Dh is not there unless he's related by blood,with a female friend, or with an older (60+) male

Yest Dh's friend stopped by the house, he didn't knock on the door he came straight to the kitchen window because he said he heard he singing and talking. When I went to the door, he stood about 10' away on the carport and asked where Dh was, etc.

Anyway most of man husband friends, if they stop by when he's not home, they kinda do the same thing this man did.

Does your SO friends do this? Maybe it's a Southern thing?erplexed

I agree with this stance. My male relatives would be restricted to my brothers. In cases where it's the repair man, cable guy, etc, my DH or son (late teens) will be there. This is common in my social circle.

 

[Amour]

i've never had this happen to me before, my SO doesn't have his friends at his house to much and never when I am there. I don't think he would like it if he's friends came round to his when I was there but when he wasn't.

Thinking about it, if I call my SO to come and get me from somewhere and he is with his friends in his car when I call, he will always tell his friend sitting in the passenger to move to the back if there are other guys in the back so I can sit in the front. If its just the one guy in the passenger seat I insist on sitting in the back although my SO and his friends also tell me to seat in the front.

what do you guys do in above situation? ^^^

I remember one of my SO's friends ex's demand that his friend sitting in the front would move to the back so she could sit in the front... I thought that was rude, what about you guys?

 

[janeemat]

My DH friends usually ring the bell and then step back. Not really wanting to come in. It's really a southern thing, because when I live in NY NO one dropped by without calling first. It's really the one thing I don't like about the south because I'm not always presentable.

 

[dlewis]

i've never had this happen to me before, my SO doesn't have his friends at his house to much and never when I am there. I don't think he would like it if he's friends came round to his when I was there but when he wasn't.

Thinking about it, if I call my SO to come and get me from somewhere and he is with his friends in his car when I call, he will always tell his friend sitting in the passenger to move to the back if there are other guys in the back so I can sit in the front. If its just the one guy in the passenger seat I insist on sitting in the back although my SO and his friends also tell me to seat in the front.

what do you guys do in above situation? ^^^

I remember one of my SO's friends ex's demand that his friend sitting in the front would move to the back so she could sit in the front... I thought that was rude, what about you guys?

We do the same thing. I normally follow his instructions. The few times he come to get me and one of his friends is with him, I get in the back. But when a friend and wife is with him, the wives normally sit in the back, so we can talk and the boys can talk.

Monday when he can the kids came to get me. My son was in the front passengers seat and I sat in the back with my daughter. First time that's ever happened.erplexed

 

[Everything Zen]

We do the same thing. I normally follow his instructions. The few times he come to get me and one of his friends is with him, I get in the back. But when a friend and wife is with him, the wives normally sit in the back, so we can talk and the boys can talk.

Monday when he can the kids came to get me. My son was in the front passengers seat and I sat in the back with my daughter. First time that's ever happened.erplexed

Oh no... Misterman always has his friends sit in the back and they always tell me to sit in the front. When we go out together and we take someone else's car he insists on sitting in the back with me so he can hold my hand. Heck the first time I met his mother and we picked her up at her condo we had a very important discussion about why he felt it was important that I sit up front cos' I was ready to dive in that back seat for sure!!!

 

[carcajada]

do you invite him in?

I have never had a man in my home when Dh is not there unless he's related by blood, with a female friend, or with an older (60+) male.

Yest Dh's friend stopped by the house, he didn't knock on the door he came straight to the kitchen window because he said he heard he singing and talking. When I went to the door, he stood about 10' away on the carport and asked where Dh was, etc.

Anyway most of man husband friends, if they stop by when he's not home, they kinda do the same thing this man did.

Does your SO friends do this? Maybe it's a Southern thing?erplexed

If DH is not home, they don't come in. Most of the time they will call beforehand.

We talked about this two days ago with my mother. My father's so-called friends try to come over when my dad is not home.

Not only is that disrespectful, but it opens a can of worms for gossip, lies, and everything else.

 

[Saida]

No. DH's friends know better than that, infact if the knock on the and I open, they get scared and run away, just kidding

But seriously, they do look away and they never even really look at me, although I just stand there starring,

the thing is though, this never really happends, because they will call the house phone before they come knock on the door..