What's does an appropriate/inappropriate FIRST DATE look like?

[Serenity_Peace]

I hope this thread helps many of us ladies who are newly single and getting back on their feet in the new year, single and ready to mingle.

So I have several prospects this week for first dates. It's been quite a long time since I've done the dating thing, so I need some advice.

What is your ideal first date?

What are the do's and don'ts for first dates?

Do you follow "The Rules" for first date outings? Has this worked/failed in the past?

Thanks, ladies. I wish you luck in your dating pursuits!

 

[ixoyegodisgood]

My ideal first date is something that involves a "third Party" distraction. I am no really into movies, but I would love to go to a museum or spoken word club. I am kind of rare in that I don't really care for movies too much

What are the do's and don'ts for first dates?

No kissing/sex.

I can't wait to read through the responses for this thread.

 

[ClassicBeauty]

My number one rule is that you should meet him there. He should NOT know where you live after the first date! I also think that things like movies are too much of a distraction. I would do something more interactive like ice skating or a cooking class or something like that. Something that would be fun and would help you get to know one another. Dinner, coffee, and drinks are always options.

I've encouraged friends to do lunch dates for first dates. That way, you know the date has an automatic end because everyone has to get back to work.

No kissing/sex should go without saying!

 

[Bunny77]

No chillin' at anyone's house. That's NOT a date! (I know you know that Serenity, but for our young 20-somethings who might not, I just gotta stress that!)

I also agree with no movie first dates. On a date, you need to interact with each other, and a movie doesn't allow for that. You just end up looking at a screen and not at each other.

Now this might seem unpopular, but I'm not always a fan of all interactive "activity" dates. That's just me though... they're not bad dates, but they're just not for me. That's because I like talking to a man to get to know him, and the activity takes the focus off us getting to know each other and puts it on the activity. I've done quite a few Dave and Buster's dates, for example, and while they're fun, I don't really feel that I got to know the man any better that evening because we were so busy playing games.

However, if the two of you went to a museum, that's great because you have to talk about the exhibits, share stories, etc. I got to know that my guy was a history buff because one of our first dates was at the Michigan History Museum, for example.

Anyway, those are just my thoughts. I like lunches, coffee, dinner, museums and things like that. I DON'T like "getting drinks" at a bar... cause bars are too loud and alcohol alters behavior... if I'm going to do a "drink date," it should be coffee.

 

[hopeful]

I like the idea of a lunch date for a first date. But, my favorite kind of date is always dinner and a movie. That's what dh and I did for our first date, and 26 years (22 married) later, it's still my favorite kind of date. It's also fun to go out to dinner in an area that has lots going on, fun to eat, walk around, people watch, get an ice cream cone, etc.

 

[Filmatic]

My fav is a coffee/teas date. You can get to know the person and really check them out. Then there is no expectations if you don't like him. Dinner can be a second date.

I do not like movie 1st dates or meeting at a bar. No home dates of course. No getting in the car with him. All those safety things really.

I also like to do walks in the park if the weather permits. It's really fun to get outside sometimes.

 

[sunshinebeautiful]

Well, I don't follow the Rules or anything, but I like first dates where we can talk and get to know each other. Lunch and dinner dates work well for me. If it's dinner, then kinda like to have a drink (singular, as in one) because it eases some of my usual nervousness.

I've typically used first dates to get to know each other and that's really it. But I've been reading this book that suggests that in addition to that you should be ascertaining how available the guy truly is as well. In other words, don't assume that just because he's out with you and there's "chemistry" that he's necessarily looking for anything serious. He could have asked you out for any number of reasons that have nothing to do with wanting to be in a relationship. He may also ask you out again (and again) and still not want anything serious either. So I would use the first date to figure out if you have a similar vision for your lives in the next 1-2 years as far as developing a relationship.

 

[awhyley]

Whoever suggested the lunch date, is a genius! Dinner can drag on a bit, if the date isn't going well, (and you're too polite to leave), so that 1hour lunch is the perfect opportunity to begin to get to know someone. I prefer something on a Thursday, or maybe a Saturday lunch for something more extended. Dinner dates are later on down the road.

 

[TayMac]

All first dates for me always involve food. So a lunch or dinner date or even meeting for breakfast (for us night shifters) is good to me.

 

[MRJ1972]

Great Thread!

I asked a question last week about appropriate behavior for a lunch date....Things went well....

I am interested in seeing more responses about first dates and subsequent dates as well...I am 35 plus and havent been on the dating scene in decades!!!!

 

[JustKiya]

I think that first dates should largely involve going out somewhere to eat. You can learn a lot about a person as you watch them interact with others, and it gives you plenty of time to actually talk to each other.
I love the museum idea - assuming you are the museum kind of woman.

 

[darlingdiva]

No chillin' at anyone's house. That's NOT a date! (I know you know that Serenity, but for our young 20-somethings who might not, I just gotta stress that!)

I also agree with no movie first dates. On a date, you need to interact with each other, and a movie doesn't allow for that. You just end up looking at a screen and not at each other.

Now this might seem unpopular, but I'm not always a fan of all interactive "activity" dates. That's just me though... they're not bad dates, but they're just not for me. That's because I like talking to a man to get to know him, and the activity takes the focus off us getting to know each other and puts it on the activity. I've done quite a few Dave and Buster's dates, for example, and while they're fun, I don't really feel that I got to know the man any better that evening because we were so busy playing games.

However, if the two of you went to a museum, that's great because you have to talk about the exhibits, share stories, etc. I got to know that my guy was a history buff because one of our first dates was at the Michigan History Museum, for example.

Anyway, those are just my thoughts. I like lunches, coffee, dinner, museums and things like that. I DON'T like "getting drinks" at a bar... cause bars are too loud and alcohol alters behavior... if I'm going to do a "drink date," it should be coffee.

OKAY!!!!!!!!!!

A guy asked one of my friends to come over to his apartment. She said no. He told her to call him when she changed her mind.

 

[darlingdiva]

I think that first dates should largely involve going out somewhere to eat. You can learn a lot about a person as you watch them interact with others, and it gives you plenty of time to actually talk to each other.
I love the museum idea - assuming you are the museum kind of woman.

Me too!