What would you do in this situation?

[Irresistible]

He threatened to kill himself and she told someone so that he could get help but when he found out he wanted nothing to do with her. THEN he told her he was dying so she started feeling guilty and was considering running back to him. That's just the drama I remember but I am quite sure there is more, much more.

He's a yoyo coming and going and she's the puppy always happy to receive any kind of attention from him.

She should just stop posting about the situation , because she is going to keep getting the same answer

This guy is really unstable. Botton line.

I hope she works through her unresolved issues within herself over him

 

[Makenzie]

She should just stop posting about the situation , because she is going to keep getting the same answer

This guy is really unstable. Botton line.

I hope she works through her unresolved issues within herself over him

Me too, but so far she won't listen.

 

[scorpio70]

The soundtrack for this thread should be.."if he liked it, then he shoulda put a ring on it. Don't be mad cuz you see that he wants it. Uh uh oh oh oh oh oh"

Sorry for the corruption, i'm loving that song right now.

 

[Vinyl]

Sorry it took me so long to respond guys, I've been out of town the whole time.

So no updates on the ex, since I haven't spoken to him since last week. I should mention that my ex and my friend who threatened suicide are -not- the same person. And yes, ex is dying but his condition is affected by his way of life. So if he takes care of himself hopefully he'll live longer than projected.

Thanks for all the advice, guys. Judging from what I've read and my own thoughts, I'd like to keep things 100% as they are with my current SO. I feel that if I cool things down with SO, I am essentially choosing my ex over him before I'm even ready, because I'd be causing problems in my new relationship in order to spare ex's feelings.

Do I tell ex this? That he can pursue me if he wants but things are going to remain the same with SO? He specifically requested to know if I was going to continue sleeping with SO... Normally I wouldn't tell him either way but he is really torn up about it (we were saving ourselves for each other.) I've thought about lying to him and saying I'm not, just so he isn't hurt over it, but I don't know if that's the right thing to do.

 

[PhonyBaloney500]

Isn;t it better to tell someone the real deal versus giving them false hope? Don't be manipulated....

 

[Vinyl]

No, I'm not over him at all. I just can't see myself with him (at least not now) because of everything that happened while we were together.

 

[Tarae]

Sorry it took me so long to respond guys, I've been out of town the whole time.

So no updates on the ex, since I haven't spoken to him since last week. I should mention that my ex and my friend who threatened suicide are -not- the same person. And yes, ex is dying but his condition is affected by his way of life. So if he takes care of himself hopefully he'll live longer than projected.

Thanks for all the advice, guys. Judging from what I've read and my own thoughts, I'd like to keep things 100% as they are with my current SO. I feel that if I cool things down with SO, I am essentially choosing my ex over him before I'm even ready, because I'd be causing problems in my new relationship in order to spare ex's feelings.

Do I tell ex this? That he can pursue me if he wants but things are going to remain the same with SO? He specifically requested to know if I was going to continue sleeping with SO... Normally I wouldn't tell him either way but he is really torn up about it (we were saving ourselves for each other.) I've thought about lying to him and saying I'm not, just so he isn't hurt over it, but I don't know if that's the right thing to do.

@ bolded, he doesn't need to know that. He doesn't need to know anything about your current relationship with your SO at all, imo.

But you should tell him that you are with your SO, you are happy in your current relationship, and that he shouldn't continue to pursue you.

 

[Ms_Delikate]

don't go back. Men like the thrill of the chase. Whatever broke y'all up the first time will happen again. It's the old....want what you can't have game. Do yourself a favor and move on. If the ex isn't coming with a ring...than its all game.

Girl sometimes even when they come with a ring they still tryna run game...Just my experience

 

[Vinyl]

Do you think you might be being unfair to your current man by being with him while still carrying a torch for another? I mean its like your with him but not really with him

Yes I have thought that. I started dating current SO shortly after ex and I broke up, which is what caused this problem. Although (I don't think - only my second relationship so I can't tell) I haven't let it affect us negatively.

 

[Vinyl]

I haven't told him how I feel yet. I'd planned to tonight, but he's in an unusually good mood and apparently he's having some party/get together and is heading out of town soon. I feel very guilty because I feel like by telling him I'll ruin that. I'm also not certain I'll be able to talk to him in private tonight, but I'll see what I can do. I'll probably tell him anyway so I'm not thinking about it the whole time he's gone.

ETA: I told him. He was upset and went into "I don't care" mode which will probably turn into "I hate you" mode when he gets back. But at least he's not under false hope or anything.