Friday morning was my last straw...
Me and Mr. RMT had been involved since right before Valentine's Day 2003...I been crying and depressed over this shrek lookin fool the WHOLE almost 5 years....
friends stopped talkin to me cabuse they didnt wanna see me in pain and couldnt stand that I wouldnt get out....my play brothers have told me time and time again to peep game ( mind u I can usually peep game from 10000 miles away) anywho I find out he is goin to movies wit "friends" and spending time wit all sorts of girls but my stupid thought pattern said "well he comes home to me and he is only with me" ya'll I was so naive he was my first real official realationship and I never had the best self esteem and I felt pretty undesireable and I am a chronic people pleaser so it was easy for me to put things that were eveidently his fault on me....
this fool talked shyte when I graduated with my AA because he felt I could do better mind u I was transferring to the university and he knew the only reason why I left the HBCU we met at was because due to my fathers death affording 25000 was nt feasable so I got my apt and got into the transfer program at the community collegebecause it was cheaper than going straight to the public university and definitely way cheaper that the private HBCU.....anyway....he talked sooo much stuff cause I wasnt doing what he thought i should be doing althought I was in school full time and workin full time and maintaing my own apartment without any help from him..........**time passes** he starts to say that if it wasnt for him motivating me to be on his level that i wouldnt have graduated.....when I joined my sorority ( not NPHC although many of my sorors are ) he talked shyte about it saying that when I cross one that is important then he would buy me something...I told him that at least I set my sights on it and did what I planned to and I didnt drop my line like he did (2times)......I had to leave town to come home to work and save money and take care of my health cause I was having some issues....so the whole time Im thinking ok maybe he is gonna act right and keep his piece to himself so one night he goes to a party for his home boy he calls me when he leaves about 2 am I have no problem with that (it was a party for goodness sake).....so he calls and we spoke for like 5 minutes and he was like lemme call u back... I said dang ur home already NO he was at his homegirls house AT 2:00 AM so Im like ok maybe he is gonna be out in a few minutes HECK nah this ***** calls me at 4 sumthin just on his way home and I told him thats real disrespectful these are booty call hours and thats not cute so on Friday we are talkin and I said have u been sleepin with anyone while I have been home and he said Joanna you have been gne almost a year what do u think I said I would hope the answer is no but answer the question but I know I havent he says he didnt tell me not to sleep with anyone then he was like Im not gonna confirm nor deny ur accusation I said well since u wont I will....and I said did u at least protect urself ( I slept with him when I visited in August------>>>>>unprotected
) anyway he was like Im not answering I said be happy im not there cause today would be the day u meet ur maker if I was.... I hung up crying and really pissed but then something he said before the sex part of the convo kept ringin in my head "if I dont respect someone and they insist on dealing with me Im gonna keep disrespecting them, causeif it bothers them they will do something about it.......soooo I havent talked to him since then and he has called and text me but Im like
this fat @$$ Shrek looking dude was a waste of my time, effort, love, body and life....my mom is ready to whoop @$$ and so is my best guy friend....but Im done he doesnt deserve the energy it would take to beat him down...he has sweet days and the he has bottom of the barrell biggest ass ever days....I was only there cause I felt like he was the best alternative to being alone and I always thought that no one else would want me or find me attractive (not that i thought he did but....thats the story of low self esteem i guess)
so now Im workin on being a better me... Im still workin toward my degree, I am makin money getting my health in check and doing my thing I realize that although I may not have the best esteem I dont need someone wasting my time makin me feel worse about myself....
****when I met this fool he was driving the mystery machine and living with his parents until december of last year.....he got a new car, a degree, a new job, and had a house built and money hungry lil girls start throwin the booty and he forgets who supported him in everything he did and I even cooked seriously grandmas house sunday dinner for this whole and he didnt even show up or call and let me know he wasnt comming.....
as u can tell Im upset and still in pain...but there is someone out there that has the ability to appreciate the woman I am and will accept me and match my efforts in a relationship.....
I know that was really lengthy but I had to vent...thnx for reading ladies
inocchio
What a horrible human being. 
