What to do when your SO's friend makes you uncomfortable?

[Fine 4s]

Hey ladies,

I'm not sure if I should talk with him about it or not. You call it....

Event 1: This weekend, an associate of his (they go bike riding and do other activities together, but my SO never calls him his true boy) made a comment that made me uncomfortable. I was dancing 'zouk' with his friend who said that I needed to teach my SO how to dance. When I said he doesn't dance this (which I probably shouldn't have said) the friend responded (and I'm still trying to make sure I heard it correctly over the music) "it's because he's not wordly." erplexed

Event 2: That same night, he took a picture of my SO and me and said that he would crop him out and just keep my face so when I call that's the picture that would come up on his phone. A) I don't have his number and so why would I call and B) Why would you say something like that?

Later that night my SO and I talked about my dancing with him and he stated that he'd never take HIS girl (if he had one) away to go dance like he did with me. Granted I could have declined to dance. I'm actually surprised that my SO admitted those feelings since that's his 'associate.' I'm also learning that he's the secretly jealous type. He won't say it, won't show it but it will come out...eventually.

Should I tell him what he said? I'm not sure of the benefit of telling him other than pointing out that this person may not be real.

 

[SimFio]

Whats a "zouk"? Did you mean "worldly" or did u mean to type "wordly"? Just trying to understand.

Either way, I'd tell him about event 1. The SO should know what the man thinks of him. His decision on what to do from that point. BUt at least he'll know that the man seems to think not that highly of him.

Event 2: Leave that part alone. SO is already jealous. No need for extra drama that may/may not pop up. Just avoid the other man like the plague. He's not up to any good by acting so sketchy.

 

[A856]

Yea I'd tell him....

 

[ThickHair]

Girl your questions and actions, whew make my head swim.

Dude seems a bit to comfortable with you.

 

[Fine 4s]

My questions are off the chain?! That's why I have you all to help me. Pretty soon, I won't have to ask anymore, I'll know everything cuz I will have graduated from the school of LHCF!!!

Event 2: My SO was there but not sure he heard the part about the picture and calling him. I'll find out later.

Yeah, too comfortable...I'll keep EXTRA distance.

SimFio- He said worldly...
Zouk is a style of dance mainly from french speaking islands. Check it out and the music on YT.

 

[SimFio]

That Zouk there looks kinda provocative... and VERY close.... granted i just watched 2 videos with couples so i'm going to assume that was the lovey dovey version? There's a platonic way to dance zouk right? With people not so pressed up on each other?

 

[Fine 4s]

I'm glad you checked it out....
No, we did not dance 'kole sere' (translation) close. But that's how it SHOULD be danced.
Cape Verdeans dance like that as well...Some Kompa (haitian) can also be danced like that. Love it!

 

[gabulldawg]

Hmm I'm sensing a theme with your posts/threads,op. I don't think either of those things are important enough for you to tell him. You said he already noticed inappropriate things between you two anyway.

 

[Fine 4s]

gabulldawg
What's the theme? You MUST tell me!!!! Wait, I tell him too much? Guilty as charged. But seriously I need to be aware of whatever pattern there might be.
Unfortunately, because I've never mentioned his friend whatever post you're thinking about must have been disconnected. What threads are you referring to?

Interesting point of view so tell me WHY you think I ought NOT mention it...My male friends have said I need to say something. If he's up to shadiness, I don't want this to make it seem like I'M doing anything shady. Who knows if he's done this in the past with other gf, you never know, I could be walking into a sensitive situation.

But all opinions are welcomed. I'll be talking to him around 5 so...hurry up and advise lol!

 

[hopeful]

I would not tell my SO anything and I would stay away from his friend/ associate, certainly wouldn't dance with him or have any convo's with him outside of my SO. No texting, talking on the phone, or Facebook friends, etc. Sounds to me like your SO is already onto him anyway.

 

[gabulldawg]

gabulldawg
What's the theme? You MUST tell me!!!! Wait, I tell him too much? Guilty as charged. But seriously I need to be aware of whatever pattern there might be.
Unfortunately, because I've never mentioned his friend whatever post you're thinking about must have been disconnected. What threads are you referring to?

Interesting point of view so tell me WHY you think I ought NOT mention it...My male friends have said I need to say something. If he's up to shadiness, I don't want this to make it seem like I'M doing anything shady. Who knows if he's done this in the past with other gf, you never know, I could be walking into a sensitive situation.

But all opinions are welcomed. I'll be talking to him around 5 so...hurry up and advise lol!

I was thinking about the other thread you had where he got jealous of someone touching your hair, I think? I do think you tell him too much. I also think it seems you catch yourself in sticky situations often.

 

[Fine 4s]

I would not tell my SO anything and I would stay away from his friend/ associate, certainly wouldn't dance with him or have any convo's with him outside of my SO. No texting, talking on the phone, or Facebook friends, etc. Sounds to me like your SO is already onto him anyway.

The friend did mention re:FB 'oh we're not friends on FB?' and after those two uncomfortable situations, nope, not accepting that friend request should I get it. I don't have his number nor do I see a reason why I would.

Thanks for your thoughts Hopeful!

 

[Fine 4s]

I was thinking about the other thread you had where he got jealous of someone touching your hair, I think? I do think you tell him too much. I also think it seems you catch yourself in sticky situations often.

Two times in a year is not enough. I'm going for 20.

 

[gabulldawg]

Two times in a year is not enough. I'm going for 20.

Fair enough. It just seems like these two events have happened within a short period of time. That's why I said it seems that way. Of course I don't know the whole story.