What to do when he freezes up?
- Thread starter gn1g
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Bunny77
New Member
Move on to a man who is mature enough to talk about his emotions and personal feelings?
Ding ding ding!
Next!
If I'm just "dating," and there's no exclusivity yet, then I'll just move on. Life's too short... don't waste time on Mr. Wrongs.
Bunny77
New Member
Nope.
Continuing to take the phone calls is a waste of time. Just move on! And if he is the right one, he can come back when he figures it out and HOPE that she'll want him back... HOPE.
You snooze, you lose!
JustKiya
Well-Known Member
Before you started ignoring him, I would tell him that his 'freezing' up bothers you, and that you are considering moving on because that is a huge red flag that he isn't good long term relationship material. He'll either open up more, or let you know for certain that it's time to let go.
You assume that if you ignore him, he'll get 'over' it, and thus change - but that just might be how he is - and you'd be wasting a lot of time and energy over trying to get him/waiting on him to change.
Love is a gamble, true. But ain't no sense in playing if you already know the deck is a couple of cards short.
You assume that if you ignore him, he'll get 'over' it, and thus change - but that just might be how he is - and you'd be wasting a lot of time and energy over trying to get him/waiting on him to change.
Love is a gamble, true. But ain't no sense in playing if you already know the deck is a couple of cards short.
tiara76
New Member
I just let him be and do him...my ex is like that, the minute convos get too deep he disappears.....he already knows im not waiting on him and Im living my life and he is living his...doesn't take away the fact i love him and always will so n e time he feels like reaching out i talk to him.....we just had a deep convo a couple of weeks ago and he abruptly ended it saying he was tired and had to go to bed....I knew he wouldn't be callin for a few weeks, and today he hits me up on email with a song he wrote about me.....mind you he's been writing songs for the last couple of months, and thats how he is getting his feelings out.....in fact thats what our last convo was about....him expressing his feelings and he claimed the songs didn't mean n e thing
the song he sent today just had one line attached to it
a song i wrote about you and how beautiful you are and how you make me and other people feel
it was a loooonnngg song that he wrote and made a beat for himself.....so sweet
He's not hurting me with his actions , he's just trying to figure him, his feelings and his journey out....I don't hold him to n e thing and I will love him always regardless and never turn my back on him when he reaches out.....if Im available should he ever drop his fear of love its all good..if Im not available then he knows thats just how the ball bounces.....but that still won't make me not talk to him or show him love....
but if you have a problem or feel jaded by his actions then its best to leave him alone if you don't understand whats goin on in his head or in his life or if he treats you like crap.....
the song he sent today just had one line attached to it
a song i wrote about you and how beautiful you are and how you make me and other people feel
it was a loooonnngg song that he wrote and made a beat for himself.....so sweet
He's not hurting me with his actions , he's just trying to figure him, his feelings and his journey out....I don't hold him to n e thing and I will love him always regardless and never turn my back on him when he reaches out.....if Im available should he ever drop his fear of love its all good..if Im not available then he knows thats just how the ball bounces.....but that still won't make me not talk to him or show him love....
but if you have a problem or feel jaded by his actions then its best to leave him alone if you don't understand whats goin on in his head or in his life or if he treats you like crap.....
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sky_blu
Well-Known Member
Well I'm a grown arse woman and I usually do all the freezing up. I just have a hard time opening up, it just takes me awhile to come around and put myself out there like that. Its not a red flag, some people just have a hard time having those conversations such as myself.
bimbabe
Well-Known Member
Walk on byyyyyyyy
Seriously...men pull this crap all the time and it is our natural instinct to chase them down and find out why they didn't pick us...why they don't want to be with us.
That fails!!! Go look for someone who is not into playing stupid games and does not have commitment issues.
Seriously...men pull this crap all the time and it is our natural instinct to chase them down and find out why they didn't pick us...why they don't want to be with us.
That fails!!! Go look for someone who is not into playing stupid games and does not have commitment issues.
tiara76
New Member
If you still want to talk to him....I think alot of folks confuse chasing and communicating as being the same thing....you can let him know where u stand, what u are about and still live your life and not chase him... and if you like talking to him and you like him....take his calls, that doesn't mean blow up his phone, you don't even have to ever call him or reach out to him if you don't want to, you don't base your actions and life on what he's doing or not doing...
unless you really don't want to talk to him or don't like him like that then let it go.......or unless he's treating like crap or treating you like a booty call and you feel like he doesn't appreciate you for the person you are.....or if you want something more from him and aren't getting it and its making you feel bad (sign of self resolve btw).....need to let him go
Crystalicequeen123
Well-Known Member
Well, to me in general men don't like talking too much about "mushy" or "emotional" things. That's just a rule of thumb. They're not as in tune to their feelings as women are, so a woman talking about very deep emotional things may make him scared.
It really depends on:
-how long you've known the guy
-what your relationship is with him
-if you're dating (how long have you two been dating?)
-and what you were talking to him about
If you REALLY like this dude, then I wouldn't just write him off so quickly. To me that's kind of unfair. If you two are just dating, maybe for about 3 months or less, then him freaking out is kind of understandable.
Just relax, don't take it personally, and give him his space! He may be sorting out his feelings for you, or your deep emotional session may have caused him to get a little scared. No biggie. Just let him have his space. Let him call you, and the next time he calls, just keep the conversation light, breezy, and fun. 
I think with SOME men you sometimes have to ease the conversations into deeper territory. YOu can't just throw some men into deep water and expect him to swim. Just gradually introduce him to deeper topics, but make sure they aren't TOO deep TOO soon. Keep it light if you're just dating this guy.
But if you don't really like this guy, or if you two have been dating exclusively for a while, then by all means...find yourself another guy who isn't so afraid of more emotional attachment!
It really depends on:
-how long you've known the guy
-what your relationship is with him
-if you're dating (how long have you two been dating?)
-and what you were talking to him about
If you REALLY like this dude, then I wouldn't just write him off so quickly. To me that's kind of unfair. If you two are just dating, maybe for about 3 months or less, then him freaking out is kind of understandable.
Just relax, don't take it personally, and give him his space! He may be sorting out his feelings for you, or your deep emotional session may have caused him to get a little scared. No biggie. Just let him have his space. Let him call you, and the next time he calls, just keep the conversation light, breezy, and fun. I think with SOME men you sometimes have to ease the conversations into deeper territory. YOu can't just throw some men into deep water and expect him to swim. Just gradually introduce him to deeper topics, but make sure they aren't TOO deep TOO soon. Keep it light if you're just dating this guy.
But if you don't really like this guy, or if you two have been dating exclusively for a while, then by all means...find yourself another guy who isn't so afraid of more emotional attachment!
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