What should you not do as a GF that should be saved for marriage?

janiebaby

janiebaby

Well-Known Member
I was just stumped in a discussion about this. What are things you shouldn't do as a girlfriend and save for when you get married. I don't think I ever came across this before really because everything tends to get lumped into the girlfriend category and you continue to do when you get married (?) The only thing I could really think of was don't cosign on a loan but it's late and I'm ready to go home:look::lol:
 
Cosign for a loan

Certain things of an intimate nature (I used to hear this all the time)
 
Won't buy Buy any real estate together
Won't do joint bank accounts or credit cards or cars
Laundry
Pay bills that aren't in my name or put biils in my name
Get a pet together. Sounds silly but I know a couple who sold the dog when it didn't work out. Lol.
 
Most things involving cooking. I will cook a few to let him kow that I am a fabulous cook and that's it. Plenty of time for home-cooking after the "I-Do's"
 
Living together
Cooking or cleaning excessively.
Lending/Giving money
Letting him know how much money you make
Letting him know your debts
Children :look: :look:
 
Make a permanent decision like tying your tubes. I don't watch the show but people talking about Neyo's ex fiance who burned her tubes still has me shaking my head. Engaged is not the same as married.
 
No mingling the money, mixing gene pools, don't cosign ish.

We had a thread about this before.
 
meka72 said:
Cosign for a loan

Certain things of an intimate nature (I used to hear this all the time)[/QUOTE]

Yeah....save something for your husband...save a lot of it...lol...that's what I used to hear from the old Aunties. I would say now though that probably doesn't make or break a relationship...he's going to like what he likes and so will you. I'm not going to deprive myself of something I enjoy.

Now financially...that's a whole nother ball of wax. I probably wouldn't be doing all the cooking, laundry, shopping for either. I mean there should be some things that he realizes by marrying you will be granted that for now...he can only dream about.
Click to expand...
 

I agree with all the financial stuff...and the certain things of an intimate nature. Lol.
 
Any kind of housekeeping, including but not limited to cooking, cleaning, laundry
Living together
Letting him know how much money/debts I have
Co-mingling money in any way
Co-signing for any major purchase
Combining our gene pools
Putting my career second to our relationship
 
No getting matching tattoos or their name tattooed on you or yours on them!
Don't be joining their church!
 
I think it's interesting that people won't cook, clean etc as a GF but will give up their body (coloring).

So cooking is above sex? Laundry? He can't live with you but he can come over and get some?

I'm not saying I'm innocent of this but this subject came up a couple of months ago and it's interesting what women see as important to withhold and sex is rarely on that list.
 
Sex...and all the other stuff you guys mentioned
Just think if you didn't have sex with him you could figure out very quickly if he REALLY wanted to be with you and if he was truly going to commit to you, especially if marriage is what you want out of the situation.
 
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GoingNatural said:
I think it's interesting that people won't cook, clean etc as a GF but will give up their body (coloring).

So cooking is above sex? Laundry? He can't live with you but he can come over and get some?

I'm not saying I'm innocent of this but this subject came up a couple of months ago and it's interesting what women see as important to withhold and sex is rarely on that list.
Click to expand...

Because I would get no pleasure from doing laundry. The sex is also to benefit me, not just him.
 
LivingInPeace said:
Because I would get no pleasure from doing laundry. The sex is also to benefit me, not just him.
Click to expand...

Can't you color with yourself? In many cases the power dynamics switch once a woman gives it up... That's usually the coveted thing the man wants as the "hunter".

For women who aren't led by emotion and don't let coloring change their expectations I guess it makes sense. But I don't meet a lot of women like that.

at least this is a girlfriend post and not a "dating" post I guess
 
GoingNatural said:
Can't you color with yourself? In many cases the power dynamics switch once a woman gives it up... That's usually the coveted thing the man wants as the "hunter".

For women who aren't led by emotion and don't let coloring change their expectations I guess it makes sense. But I don't meet a lot of women like that.

at least this is a girlfriend post and not a "dating" post I guess
Click to expand...

Well, solo coloring really isn't as much fun to me. :lol:
 
GodivaChocolate said:
Sex...and all the other stuff you guys mentioned
Just think if you didn't have sex with him you could figure out very quickly if he REALLY wanted to be with you and if he was truly going to commit to you, especially if marriage is what you want out of the situation.
Click to expand...

I agree with this statement. I, personally, believe that a few months of abstinence (or wedding day) and taking the opportunity to know the person is important.

For myself, I don't call random people I meet "friend" or divulge details about my life. Why would I do such a thing with my body?

But I refuse to do wifely duties as a girlfriend.
 
No housework, especially not laundry :lol:
Very limited cooking
No living together, no keeping clothes at my place
No mingling of funds
Absolutely no children. I'm not going through the trauma of childbirth for a man who won't buy me a ring and sign a piece of paper. Nope. I value my bits too much to do that mess :lol:

I completely understand and respect waiting until marriage to have sex. But I had to come to terms with the fact that I can't risk that. If I had no sex drive, then it wouldn't matter, but I cannot commit myself for life with someone who can't satisfy such a fundamental need for me. I would be setting myself up for failure for no reason. My mom's sex talk was: get a few notches in your belt and try it before you buy it :lachen:

Like another poster said, sex is a win-win situation for me. Sex doesn't create any emotional attachment in of itself for me. Doing housework sucks, and I wouldn't even do laundry for my best friends :lol:. I'm not doing something so dreadful for a boyfriend :lol:. I'm another one who will cook a few meals just to show my skills, and that's it. Something about housework and cooking seem so wifely to me because they're such helpmate, "I'll take care of you" acts. Why would I waste that hard work on a boyfriend :rolleyes:.
 
I have this discussion with my bf often...his expectations before I get a ring are that of a wife. Especially the coming part! I cooked for him the first time bc I was coming for myself and knew he was coming over and didn't want to be rude now he request it.
 
GoingNatural said:
I think it's interesting that people won't cook, clean etc as a GF but will give up their body (coloring).

So cooking is above sex? Laundry? He can't live with you but he can come over and get some?

I'm not saying I'm innocent of this but this subject came up a couple of months ago and it's interesting what women see as important to withhold and sex is rarely on that list.
Click to expand...

Sex would be beneficial to a woman.
Washing a mans clothes is beneficial to him.

I'm late, maybe someone said the same.
 
This was me with DH (very much like ckisland):

No housework, especially not laundry
Very limited cooking (I cooked for his birthday)
No living together (I never slept over at his place by choice; plus my bed was only 9 minutes away)
No keeping clothes/toothbrush at my place although everyone said I should give him a drawer (I didn't)
No comingling of funds (we did combine our cell phone plan after we were engaged)
No children

I should add, we started dating in December, talked marriage by March, looked at rings by June and were engaged by November.
 
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