I feel kind of how that white lady that made the youtube video about "the butters" must have felt. What other secrets have yall been hiding from us!?
the butters?
What I learned from Becky today.....
- Thread starter tarheelgurl
- Start date
the butters?
MizzBrown
Well-Known Member
Exactly!! I'm always impressed on how quickly Becky can snag a man, get married, have a child & the white picket fence in RECORD time while we on the sideline wondering why Raheem won't propose after 5 damn years.
That reminds me to decrease my relationship schedule even more. We've got to quickly figure out if he is marriage-minded and then make a decision QUICKLY based on the answer.
Becky's STAY getting wifed up.
InchHighPrivateEye
Well-Known Member
Country gal
Well-Known Member
I learned that you need to do whatever you can to get what you want.
But she didn't get anything. Just confirmation that he may want to marry her in the future. No ring.
UmSumayyah
Well-Known Member
I feel kind of how that white lady that made the youtube video about "the butters" must have felt. What other secrets have yall been hiding from us!?
I keep hearing about this. Does anyone have the link?
EDIT: nevermind, I posted before finishing the thread.
Last edited:
cabellera
Well-Known Member
Ahhhh, that is a whole other thread!! She called me about 20 minutes after Becky left saying she was at the outlets. I told her I was going back home. That was a long time ago and she aint here yet!!
CP Time! LOL!
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NaturalRed
Well-Known Member
I wish the same things worked for us that worked for them. Me and my SO are mistaken for being married all the time. He doesn't even correct people anymore. But that still hasn't nudged him to make it happen.
tarheelgurl
Well-Known Member
Yes she did get something...she got a peek into his mind without having to press him about it. His body language and response alone...since we don't know what happened later....were indications that he is willing to see her as more than a friend.
I have been thinking about it since the whole thing went down, and have pretty much come to the conclusion that I need to be more like her and try to find out early in a relationship (in a non-confrontational way) whether or not we are both headed in the same direction. If the situation had been different and he balked, then she knew where his mind was....he wasn't ready or at least ready to think about anything more than her. Then I can move on.
I truly believe that this Becky would have eventually moved on from that guy if he had given a negative reaction. She got a lot out of those 30 seconds....peace of mind is better than a ring sometimes.
Incognitus
Well-Known Member
Two months?
My thoughts exactly!
I love this idea. I had one guy pay anyone willing to duet a love song with him to his girlfriend. Turns out he had a great voice and while we sang "Love", he got down on one knee to propose to her. I made 20 bucks! Unfortunately, Ive gotten the other version.A guy walked up to me, flirted and chatted me up to try and get my number. Turns out he was hired by my jerk ex to spy on me.
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Um, ok, is it just me or does anyone else want to hear about this story? Msmchy Care to elaborate?
Was it a shade manipulative/passive-aggressive? Well, yeah.But it was also wise. As much as men talk that stuff about wanting a woman to be upfront and totally clear with her feelings/desires/expectations.... they can't handle that
AMEN! I learned that the hard way! Now, I understand and will never be that upfront again (well, not with everything).
No, it was downtown Raleigh where all of the museums are.
Totally OT but if you need another museum buddy please let me know. I've lived right up the street in Garner for 7 yrs and I am so ashamed to say that I haven't been to any of our awesome museums.
tarheelgurl
Well-Known Member
Girl YESSSS!!! I love going to the science museum downtown! The history museum is only okay but the bug room in the science museum is so cool! I would love to have a museum buddy!!
I feel kind of how that white lady that made the youtube video about "the butters" must have felt. What other secrets have yall been hiding from us!?
I know that a couple of guys I have dated have seemed pleased (as an adult they've seem pleased, because in middle/high school it would be like "uh uh. noooo!" I'm guessing that's the reaction you DON'T want
Hm. *thinking cap activated*
Believe me, it's just like that. I've heard some things from them that truly demonstrate how differently we handle things. From ignoring the small stuff, keeping your eye on the prize to some crazy brutal divorce advice. They are schooled from a young age what to expect from a man, for the most part we are taught to expect to struggle with life and love and never depend on a man.
UrbainChic
Well-Known Member
Not only does Becky have peace of mind knowing that he is marriage minded, now she can relax in the relationship and not scare him off with "hints." He's going to think everything was his decision. That he "caught" her and he did the hunting. Meanwhile we all know if his reaction was bad she would have been out of there.
I need to think like this. I dunno why i havent. *sigh*
I need to think like this. I dunno why i havent. *sigh*
nathansgirl1908
Well-Known Member
No, it was downtown Raleigh where all of the museums are.
Near my neck of the woods!!!
NaturalLibra
Well-Known Member
I like it. Very inception-style. I think at the point in the relationship where it's no longer casual but not serious for a marriage convo it'd be good to get a feel for the persons mind frame. I wouldn't even try to use the info just knowing it would be enough.
mEmYSELFaNDj
Well-Known Member
Awh cute story!
isioma85
Well-Known Member
Sheeeyt, home girl better get it! She got a sense of where his head is at without having to ask him directly. It reminds me of a commercial on radio here. It's for a jewelry store, and you hear a woman whispering 'tennis bracelet, tennis bracelet' over and over. A man wakes up like 'Did you hear something honey?'. She says no, and he goes 'Oh, ok. All of a sudden I have the urge to get you some jewelry. How does a tennis bracelet sound?' , and she goes 'Darling! What a surprise! You're so thoughtful 
'
'
DragonPearl
Well-Known Member
I understand game playing very well, having played a few in my days, but in the end, I wouldn't want any man I have to play game to get.
, but in the end, I wouldn't want any man I have to play game to get.
softblackcotton
Well-Known Member
I agree this was not "scheming" or "thirsty" to me. What could be more scheming or thirsty than allowing oneself to get pregnant in order to trap a man? We see how well that works.
French Rouge
Well-Known Member
Let me get out of the relationship forum. Funny story, but if you need to go to those lengths to get a man to marry you, I'm giving you the side eye!
Makenzie
Well-Known Member
Exactly. Shes not tryna trap him in a marriage - I'm guessing. I can see a woman using this tactic to get an idea if shes wasting her time, esp if she knows that she wants to marry one day. If his reaction was one where he doesn't see himself marrying, or marrying her, that would let her know they were on two different paths. Then she could decide of it was worth it to continue.
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FtrDrO
New Member
Props to Becky for getting the answer she needed in a clever, unconfrontational way. She's smart and more of us can take note from this. People are saying she's manipulative and thirsty and I don't understand how this is either. Manipulative is trapping the man by poking holes in a condom. Thirsty is throwing yourself at a man who isn't interested. There's no indication of either of this going on.
What she did was something that not enough of us do. Then we wonder why so many of us stay in limbo, wasting our precious time, not knowing where we're going with Tyrone after 5 years. Then, have the nerve to get mad, throwing temper tantrums, when he conveniently throws a "but we aren't together" in our face. Meanwhile we THOUGHT we deserved everything because we THOUGHT that we were more than we were since we took it upon ourselves to play "wifey" all along.
Women, stop letting men waste your time. Do yourself a favor and figure out where you stand, however you need to do that.
What she did was something that not enough of us do. Then we wonder why so many of us stay in limbo, wasting our precious time, not knowing where we're going with Tyrone after 5 years. Then, have the nerve to get mad, throwing temper tantrums, when he conveniently throws a "but we aren't together" in our face. Meanwhile we THOUGHT we deserved everything because we THOUGHT that we were more than we were since we took it upon ourselves to play "wifey" all along.
Women, stop letting men waste your time. Do yourself a favor and figure out where you stand, however you need to do that.
tarheelgurl
Well-Known Member
I still don't see where it was a game or thirsty or manipulitive....in my mind, that would mean that she would had to have gotten something out of that scenario...but she didn't. She just wanted to push him to see where his mind was. If that is thirsty then pour me a tall glass with no ice because I can see her logic. Two months should be enough time to decide what kind of relationship you are in....either its going somewhere or its not....if you are ok with it staying stagnant and simply being the "homegirl" and you don't care if it goes anywhere then don't do anything....just keep swimming.
But, if you are looking for something then don't waste time on someone that isn't thinking the same way. Don't waste time on a man that is repulsed when confused with being your husband. Find out early so you can move on. It makes sense. And to be able to do it in a non-confrontational way....without ever having to bring the subject up....is just genius.
If it had been me, I would have taken a negative reaction from him as my cue to move on or at the very put him on a shelf while I look for something else. That gives me control of the relationship without ever lifting a finger....and that's nice.
But, if you are looking for something then don't waste time on someone that isn't thinking the same way. Don't waste time on a man that is repulsed when confused with being your husband. Find out early so you can move on. It makes sense. And to be able to do it in a non-confrontational way....without ever having to bring the subject up....is just genius.
If it had been me, I would have taken a negative reaction from him as my cue to move on or at the very put him on a shelf while I look for something else. That gives me control of the relationship without ever lifting a finger....and that's nice.
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