What do guys say/ could they have done better to grab your attention
- Thread starter aasem
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CarLiTa
Well-Known Member
I don't get hollered at like that anymore. Not since leaving Florida and high school. Generally, I get approached politely, bc of the type of men who frequent the establishments I go to. The weird thing I notice, these days, is that men "make eyes at me" in the way that women are suggested to do to get a guy to approach. It's weird and leaves me feeling really awkward lol.
In terms of what they say? Something random to break the ice, I guess. If I think he's cute, I'll laugh, even if it's corny
and turn my body toward him as a sign that I don't mind talking further. To be honest, those conversations are NOT flirtatious the majority of the time. Lots of corny jokes but then again I'm also corny... I like smart and intriguing conversation. But it shouldn't be too dry. Or arrogant. Some pleasantries, some laughter.
What DOESN'T work is when a guy sees me dancing at the club and comes up to me talking about come on girl! You can do better than that! Let me see you break it down/get it!
I promptly walk away.
In terms of what they say? Something random to break the ice, I guess. If I think he's cute, I'll laugh, even if it's corny
and turn my body toward him as a sign that I don't mind talking further. To be honest, those conversations are NOT flirtatious the majority of the time. Lots of corny jokes but then again I'm also corny... I like smart and intriguing conversation. But it shouldn't be too dry. Or arrogant. Some pleasantries, some laughter. What DOESN'T work is when a guy sees me dancing at the club and comes up to me talking about come on girl! You can do better than that! Let me see you break it down/get it!
I promptly walk away.
intergalacticartist
New Member
Really, it sounds corny but just be yourself. I don't like when guys try to be something they're not
RocStar
Well-Known Member
RocStar
Well-Known Member
It will catch my attention if a male comes up and speaks to me in a respectful way. I don't respond to cat calling, yelling "hey shorty", psst or anything like that.
Katherina
Well-Known Member
The response you receive is based on more that just your words. It's about how you say them, and that includes the full presentation of who you are. A man will get my attention if he is well-groomed, attractive, and is composed with either an air of quiet confidence or slight mystery/ intrigue. I don't mind shyness; it can be endearing. However, conversational skills are a must because I like to discuss a variety of topics with my partner.
Personal turn ons: reading a book, a nice smile, intelligence, naturally commands and gives respect, knowledge of self, worldly, goal-driven, thirst for life, knowledge of how to love and treat a lady, emotional maturity, sound mind, sound ethics, sound integrity, strength, down to earth, logical.
Things that may or may not be okay: toting a child, standing with another woman within age range.
Personal turn-offs: disrespectful words or looks, strange speech or clothing, poor hygiene, dullness, carrying a pack of Budweiser, Natural Ice, or a 40 oz
, a wedding ring, most earrings, face or neck tats, dishonest eyes, nervousness, flashy car, self-aggrandizement, smooth talking.
Personal turn ons: reading a book, a nice smile, intelligence, naturally commands and gives respect, knowledge of self, worldly, goal-driven, thirst for life, knowledge of how to love and treat a lady, emotional maturity, sound mind, sound ethics, sound integrity, strength, down to earth, logical.
Things that may or may not be okay: toting a child, standing with another woman within age range.
Personal turn-offs: disrespectful words or looks, strange speech or clothing, poor hygiene, dullness, carrying a pack of Budweiser, Natural Ice, or a 40 oz
, a wedding ring, most earrings, face or neck tats, dishonest eyes, nervousness, flashy car, self-aggrandizement, smooth talking.
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Katherina said:The response you receive is based on more that just your words. It's about how you say them, and that includes the full presentation of who you are. A man will get my attention if he is well-groomed, attractive, and is composed with either an air of quiet confidence or slight mystery/ intrigue. I don't mind shyness; it can be endearing. However, conversational skills are a must because I like to discuss a variety of topics with my partner.
Turn ons: reading a book, a nice smile, intelligence, naturally commands and gives respect, knowledge of self, worldly, goal-driven, thirst for life, knowledge of how to love and treat a lady, emotional maturity, sound mind, sound ethics, sound integrity.
Things that may or may not be okay: toting a child, standing with another woman within age range.
Personal turn-offs: disrespectful words or looks, strange speech or clothing, poor hygiene, dullness, carrying a pack of Budweiser, Natural Ice, or a 40 oz, a wedding ring, most earrings, face or neck tats, dishonest eyes, nervousness, flashy car, self-aggrandizement, smooth talking.
You can't tell all that by first impression.
I think in the current meta-day we live in which is fast paces, a guy has about 30 seconds to grab a girls attention before she's gone. Assuming he doesn't stop her with a plot like " me and my friend has this bet" etc etc
Dposh167
Well-Known Member
if i had to be specific...i could say complimenting something i'm wearing. But that would work in a more smaller social environment. I don't want a guy screaming from down the block how much he likes my shoes.
Usually when they say "excuse me miss" or pardon me i'll probably give them 2 seconds of attention before i'm ready to be out lol. after that they better be themselves and not say anything stupid
Usually when they say "excuse me miss" or pardon me i'll probably give them 2 seconds of attention before i'm ready to be out lol. after that they better be themselves and not say anything stupid
Katherina
Well-Known Member
aasem said:
Within 30 seconds you can visibly recognize many of the things I listed: well-groomed, attractive, composed with either an air of quiet confidence or slight mystery/ intrigue, reading a book, a nice smile, naturally commands and gives respect... I can also pick up on many men's character traits and lifestyle habits.
Each woman/ girl is different; there is no one surefire way to approach women.
May I ask what is your goal during an approach?
Katherina said:
It's really rare I do it. Itll have to be something about a person that's different than everyone else.
Generally it's just for fun, I don't ever call or text the girls I do approach since I'm a big personality person.
Normally I'd say something like " Here's the prettiest girl in the world." " She's about to break my heart" or if I'm bored " She can play with All my Pokemon cards" lol
melissa-bee
Well-Known Member
For me all they have to do is start a decent conversation or start of with a joke.
Briabiggles
Well-Known Member
Evolving78
Well-Known Member
excuse me miss!
Theo
New Member
Friday I was walking on the street talking on the phone and a man said, "I bet you don't even talk to light skinned nigg@s do you?". It was so random, I couldn't do anything but laugh and shake my head and keep it moving, then he he yelled after me "is it cuz I'm black?"
He was actually really really cute, and little does he know I date black guys pretty much exclusively, and have no problem with light rskinned guys. I think this could have done better if he didn't lead with the negative. I mean to start of with the assumption that I don't like light-skinned guys (and I don't know where he got that idea from), is to start from a place of defeat. I actually don't have a problem with talking to guys who I meet in the street, or at the store. Usually what works for me is if the start talking to me about something stupid. Like, "oh, do you know where such and such stop is?" or "can you help me pick out some tomatoes for my aunt?"
Usually I know they're lying but I thought it was so cute and funny when they sit there trying to listen to my opinion on tomatoes or the best way to get to such and such stop... It endeared me to them.
But that's me. And I like nice/ lame guys. Some girls don't.
He was actually really really cute, and little does he know I date black guys pretty much exclusively, and have no problem with light rskinned guys. I think this could have done better if he didn't lead with the negative. I mean to start of with the assumption that I don't like light-skinned guys (and I don't know where he got that idea from), is to start from a place of defeat. I actually don't have a problem with talking to guys who I meet in the street, or at the store. Usually what works for me is if the start talking to me about something stupid. Like, "oh, do you know where such and such stop is?" or "can you help me pick out some tomatoes for my aunt?"
Usually I know they're lying but I thought it was so cute and funny when they sit there trying to listen to my opinion on tomatoes or the best way to get to such and such stop... It endeared me to them.
But that's me. And I like nice/ lame guys. Some girls don't.
Crystalicequeen123
Well-Known Member
Honestly??
For me a simple: "Hi, how are you doing today? My name is John....what's yours?" with a friendly smile, works better for me than ANY other pick-up line known to man.
For me a simple: "Hi, how are you doing today? My name is John....what's yours?" with a friendly smile, works better for me than ANY other pick-up line known to man.
Oasis
grabbing life by the pussy
i don't really get ''holla'd'' at anymore. mostly guys smile at me and indicate non-verbally they want to talk to me. if they're cute i'll smile back but won't initiate the convo. if they come over after that it's usually just ''hey, how are you?/you're beautiful/i'm so and so.''
hey baby/shorty/sweet thang/lil mama etc. does not work for me. you will promptly be ignored.
hey baby/shorty/sweet thang/lil mama etc. does not work for me. you will promptly be ignored.
ScorpioBeauty09
Well-Known Member
I don't really get holla-ed at anymore, thank goodness although it's mostly because where I go is so limited now since I'm in grad school. Pick-up lines will get you nowhere. A simple "Hello... my name is... how are you?" will get a better reaction from me. Even better if you point out something about me that's not physical, like the book I'm reading (I'm a huge reader) or if we're in line for food point out some food on the menu or something. But this is just me.
Lucie
Dancin' on sunshine!
If a man wants my attention, he needs not try to brag about the car he is driving or how much stuff he'd like to buy me. He could use what's on my person as a hint. For instance, if I am carrying a book, ask me what it is about? Or if you find something genuninely nice about me, like my outfit, my smile, the way I walk, et cetera, compliment me on it. Ask me if I am enjoying my day? How it could be better, if it is not going well? BE GENUINE!
I am no one's ma. I might be taller with you than my heels, so don't call me shorty. Don't comment on the size of my breasts, buttocks, legs, et cetera. Don't ask me what my ethnicity is. Don't ask me if my hair is real. Questions like that make a man seem like he just doesn't want a "REGULAR" black chick.
Don't get too close unless I give you a vibe that it's okay. I don't like feeling cornered. Don't touch me! Don't interrogate me either. Sounds like a lot of do's and don'ts but that is why it has to be genuine.
Good luck!
I am no one's ma. I might be taller with you than my heels, so don't call me shorty. Don't comment on the size of my breasts, buttocks, legs, et cetera. Don't ask me what my ethnicity is. Don't ask me if my hair is real. Questions like that make a man seem like he just doesn't want a "REGULAR" black chick.
Don't get too close unless I give you a vibe that it's okay. I don't like feeling cornered. Don't touch me! Don't interrogate me either. Sounds like a lot of do's and don'ts but that is why it has to be genuine.
Good luck!
Victoria44
Well-Known Member
As long as the guy is genuine, friendly, and approaches me with something interesting to talk about, I have no reason to turn him away, as long as it stays friendly. Unfortunately, most guys who approach me have nothing really to say, and have this rehearsed, fake vibe that really annoys me to the point that I want to distance myself quick lol
CaliiSwagg
Well-Known Member
THIS!!! Girl, you took the words right out of my mouth!
If the guy is himself and really has an interest to get to know me beyond the physical then I will more than likely be willing to entertain.
But when they come off arrogant, boring, fake, ect. OR when they look at me like im a damn steak dinner.... automatic Negative
.OH Em GEEE!!!! I cannot stand to be touched by a complete stranger. Ugh. Unless I make it obvious that it'k ok to touch me.... Dont! I dont care if we are getting to know eachother... Just because your comfortable doesnt mean I am.
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MrsIQ
Well-Known Member
I think that the ladies gave you great advice. The only thing I could add is when you do converse with a lady, keep your eyes on her face. I cannot stand talking to man that's giving me the once over while talking to me. Don't leer at my body. That's an automatic shut down cuz I know what you're interested in.
FYI, I'm married but I know men still do this.
FYI, I'm married but I know men still do this.
Solila
Well-Known Member
Well...I dont like names like "shorty, mama, princess, queen, sweetheart," etc. I also dont like being questioned about my ethnicity. Its like they want to categorize me and substantiate whatever physical feature they like about me. So when they ask, "where are you from," I say USA. LOL Oh and I get chased somestimes- I dont like that.
I come off rather intimidating to many guys, at least thats what I've heard. I'm a woman on a mission- everyday. lol But I think the older I've gotten the more the caliber of men hitting on me has changed. Maybe its the way I carry myself, but I dont really get hollered at or touched anymore. Plus, most of the men that approach now are usually guys I'd take seriously- good looking, confident, smart, and straightshooting. Now, they actually work hard to get my attention and they usually succeed by impressing me with their knowledge about something.
Nonetheless, the usually corny pick-up falls in a pattern like this: "Excuse me, but you look like an intellectual," "you have a powerful walk," "your very beautiful," and "you strike me as the international type."
I come off rather intimidating to many guys, at least thats what I've heard. I'm a woman on a mission- everyday. lol But I think the older I've gotten the more the caliber of men hitting on me has changed. Maybe its the way I carry myself, but I dont really get hollered at or touched anymore. Plus, most of the men that approach now are usually guys I'd take seriously- good looking, confident, smart, and straightshooting. Now, they actually work hard to get my attention and they usually succeed by impressing me with their knowledge about something.
Nonetheless, the usually corny pick-up falls in a pattern like this: "Excuse me, but you look like an intellectual," "you have a powerful walk," "your very beautiful," and "you strike me as the international type."
itismehmmkay
Well-Known Member
I'll stop and talk to somebody just cause. I don't mind unless they're coming at me real crazy. But if it's just like a convo or they tryna tell me something; it's cool. I'm not giving my number or anything.
Some gentlemen at work...kinda cock-eyed, in shape, always speaks....was like 'excuse me what's your name?' I looked at his nametag and then told him mine. 'Oh has anyone ever told you you have a beautiful walk? I mean you bow-legged but it's still pretty' I just looked him in the eyes and said 'ohhh thank you' w/ a smile. Then he was on his way. lolol.
But I'll respond to 'Smiley, sweetie, cutie, lady, miss, prettylady' but I'll usually just say hey and keep walking.
Some gentlemen at work...kinda cock-eyed, in shape, always speaks....was like 'excuse me what's your name?' I looked at his nametag and then told him mine. 'Oh has anyone ever told you you have a beautiful walk? I mean you bow-legged but it's still pretty'
I just looked him in the eyes and said 'ohhh thank you' w/ a smile. Then he was on his way. lolol. But I'll respond to 'Smiley, sweetie, cutie, lady, miss, prettylady' but I'll usually just say hey and keep walking.
itismehmmkay
Well-Known Member
Ohhh I didn't realize this was a dude really asking for advice lol. It does work a bit if you act like you're really tryna start a convo. Sometimes it's annoying, but all grown women usually recognize game and will decide if they'll let it play out on them.
greight
Well-Known Member
If you get me laughing, you probably got me . I also like it when a guy just makes a random comment about something. It throws me off guard, plus I feel it's more organic. I remember being on the subway next to this guy. I was sandwiched in between him and a dude that was sleeping. Subway guy just made a random comment about the sleeping guy to me and it was on and poppin'. Conversation/connection made! We talked for over 40 minutes (long trip)!
I don't respond well to lines, not because of the guy, but because some guys usually have the same steez that they use on every girl.
. I also like it when a guy just makes a random comment about something. It throws me off guard, plus I feel it's more organic. I remember being on the subway next to this guy. I was sandwiched in between him and a dude that was sleeping. Subway guy just made a random comment about the sleeping guy to me and it was on and poppin'. Conversation/connection made! We talked for over 40 minutes (long trip)!I don't respond well to lines, not because of the guy, but because some guys usually have the same steez that they use on every girl.
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