What can we as African American women do?

[kally]

It is truely heart breaking to see and read things about strife amoungst the different hair types, but what can be done to change this? Is there a group we can form, to preach to other races ,society and the youth that curly is beautiful? The negative Damage is done for now, so moving forward what can we do to prevent further damage.

We always talk about how sad the issue is, but never give advice on how to solve it. We all know the truth, is it not time others do as well? I am not saying the burden lies with us, I'm just saying there has to be someway to get the message out there that our beauty is equal to the so called "white standards" . Any ideas.

I would love to be a speaker at a grade school about the topic.

 

[Amour]

interesting... im not sure from a wider influential perspective but I will be making sure my children know black and everything to do with black is beautiful. I don't plan on relaxing my childs hair.. I will allow her to make that decision when she is grown so she can appreciate, love and learn how to deal with her natural texture

 

[Choklatekiss79]

I was jusrt thinking the same thing after reading the article posted about the domican blowouts. It's is sad and extremely hurtful. Maybe we could start a youth group where we teach minority girls about their history and culture. We have to get more of us loving us, before we can't expect other races to understand and appreciate who we are. That, I think, would be a start.

 

[kally]

Yes and what better way then us to start it .I mean we have members and lurkers on this board from all across the world. We can really spread the word.

I know I school everyone I come in contact with. I even go out and ask males what their take on hair is just to see the mind set. For the most part the response I get is the style must fit the person.

Kids need to know this info as well. If I come across a group of kids that are talking badly about hair. I will make it my mission to teach the truth. I sure hope other follow suit, then those people will school others, then maybe just maybe things will turn around for our future generation.

 

[Indigo's Hair]

Kally, I agree with you. You must start at "home". I believe once we begin to truly and SINCERELY love ourselves in our natural state can we begin to heal and help others. I would love to teach myself, friends and family that what God has bestowed upon us is PERFECT. He does not make mistakes. So, whether your hair is curly or straight in its natural state it is PERFECT and BEAUTIFUL.

And, the DR article is heartbreaking. But, I have always believed that the perfect strategy to conquer is to divide a race. That is exactly what is going on. Not only do we experience discrimation amongst other races, we discriminate against ourselves (light skinned, dark skinned, curly hair, straight hair).

There is so much to be said here.

 

[Energist]

Media is very powerful and I feel that if Oprah or Tyra did a show focusing on and celebrating the taboo issues surrounding hair that would be a big help!

So maybe we can all write it, because if they get enough of the same type of letter concerning the same topic, I think that they may take an interest and focus on it.

 

[natieya]

Kally, I agree with you. You must start at "home". I believe once we begin to truly and SINCERELY love ourselves in our natural state can we begin to heal and help others. I would love to teach myself, friends and family that what God has bestowed upon us is PERFECT. He does not make mistakes. So, whether your hair is curly or straight in its natural state it is PERFECT and BEAUTIFUL.

And, the DR article is heartbreaking. But, I have always believed that the perfect strategy to conquer is to divide a race. That is exactly what is going on. Not only do we experience discrimation amongst other races, we discriminate against ourselves (light skinned, dark skinned, curly hair, straight hair).

There is so much to be said here.

Amen! Ditto. I concur. Etc, etc.

 

[Divalicious]

I think books will also be a valuable tool for children. It's sad that they don't like their hair for whatever reason and/or other kids tease them about their natural hair.

bell hooks has a book out called Happy to be Nappy:

Nappy Hair by Carolivia Herron:

I Love My Hair by Natasha Anastasia Tarpley:

 

[kally]

What cute books. I will have to buy these. So when I have a daughter these will be one of the first books I read to her.

 

[Amour]

Media is very powerful and I feel that if Oprah or Tyra did a show focusing on and celebrating the taboo issues surrounding hair that would be a big help!

So maybe we can all write it, because if they get enough of the same type of letter concerning the same topic, I think that they may take an interest and focus on it.

this is a good idea

Kally, I agree with you. You must start at "home". I believe once we begin to truly and SINCERELY love ourselves in our natural state can we begin to heal and help others. I would love to teach myself, friends and family that what God has bestowed upon us is PERFECT. He does not make mistakes. So, whether your hair is curly or straight in its natural state it is PERFECT and BEAUTIFUL.

And, the DR article is heartbreaking. But, I have always believed that the perfect strategy to conquer is to divide a race. That is exactly what is going on. Not only do we experience discrimation amongst other races, we discriminate against ourselves (light skinned, dark skinned, curly hair, straight hair).

There is so much to be said here.

I agree with this

 

[Divalicious]

What cute books. I will have to buy these. So when I have a daughter these will be one of the first books I read to her.

Many parents and kids like these books. They're very uplifting and kids can relate to it. There was some controversy with Nappy Hair because a teacher was a called a racist when she used it in the classroom. I believe she was suspended.

 

[kally]

Many parents and kids like these books. They're very uplifting and kids can relate to it. There was some controversy with Nappy Hair because a teacher was a called a racist when she used it in the classroom. I believe she was suspended.

Wow that is deep. Was she an African American teacher? I wonder what did they find so racist about it.

 

[ShiShiPooPoo]

interesting... im not sure from a wider influential perspective but I will be making sure my children know black and everything to do with black is beautiful. I don't plan on relaxing my childs hair.. I will allow her to make that decision when she is grown so she can appreciate, love and learn how to deal with her natural texture

AMEN! I plan on doing the same thing. My daughters hair is beautiful (she is 5 months old with 4a hair a beautiful golden brown...already!). One day I took her to daycare and her teacher said..."Oooooh, this girl has some thick hair. She's gonna need a kiddy perm!" I was like oh no she didn't. I said, "My daughter's hair is beautiful. It's healthy, it's thick, she is exactly the way the good Lord made her..she was "fearfully and wonderfully made"..how dare I tamper with His good work?"
Yes I said all that and left her sitting there like . Hopefully I put something on her mind...one mind at a time is what I say.

 

[Divalicious]

She was white and personally, I don't see the problem at all! The kids loved the book and she was teaching them about culture, cultural differences etc...then someone started calling her a racist. I applaud her efforts.

 

[Nice & Wavy]

My granddaughter (yes, I have one!) has 4a - 4c hair. My daughter always complain that she can't do her hair because its hard to do. She takes her to a salon to get it washed, conditioned, blowdried and braided sometimes or ponytails.

Yesterday, I showed her how to save money and do her hair herself. I told her that if you have the right products and a little patience, her hair won't be as tangled and tough as she may think. She watched me as I washed her hair, put in conditioner, detangled section by section with a denman brush, braided each section, rinsed out the conditioner while the braids were still in, dried each braid, undid each one and the comb slid right though her hair. My daughter was shocked. I cornrolled her hair and it is beautiful.

People are ignorant to the fact that hair is beautiful...all hair and with a little patience and tender loving care, our hair will behave and we will be grateful.

Everyone's hair, whether they are 2a, 3b, 3c, 4a, 4b, etc...we all have to work on our hair to get it healthy. We ALL have 'good hair'.

I think those of us who are going natural or who already are, have embraced the fact that the curl is beautiful. Yes, as a 3b-3c, I have my ups and my downs with my hair, but that is all in the process of learning about my hair and what my hair like and dislikes.

However, it may not be as easy as we think to help people understand that our hair is beautiful. Our eyes are the windows of our soul, and when we see commercials like Pantence and Dr. Miracles and they put inuendos out there that having curly/kinky hair is wrong and long straight hair is the best, most people have this embedded in their soul and therefore react to that.

I have been relaxed and now I'm natural and sometimes I want to relax/telax my hair out of frustration, but when I see so many natural heads here that has overcome the hump of their hair struggle (growth), it helps me realize that I too have to overcome and learn that what God has given me, I need to be grateful for that.

I'm just grateful for LHCF and the fact that my hair has changed for the better...I guess thats true for all of us here. Even though I had to go through so much money to buy products to find the products that my hair loves (and I'm sure I'm not done yet...still have to try Aveda DR ), I'm still thankful that I found this forum and I won't look back.

Blessings...

 

[jtsupanova]

I think the best thing we can do as African American Women is lead by example. GO NATURAL start with yourself! I agree that the media could be very useful way speak out about this topic but it could not sincerley be conveyed on Oprah or Tyra because they themselves have not embrace their natural hair.

 

[VictoriousBrownFlower]

interesting... im not sure from a wider influential perspective but I will be making sure my children know black and everything to do with black is beautiful. I don't plan on relaxing my childs hair.. I will allow her to make that decision when she is grown so she can appreciate, love and learn how to deal with her natural texture

ITA with this. Society is too stuck in their narrow views of what is acceptable/ beautiful for it too be changed overnight. The only way to make a slight dent in this trend is to start with our children. Teaching them to love their unique and beautiful features. It would also be helpful if there was more natural beauties in hollywood for them to look up too. I love the fact that there are black women in the media who are globally seen as beautiful. Its just a shame that alot of them constantly wear flowing blonde lacefronts, and are light skinned. Totally off topic but why is it that when there is a beautiful black woman their race is questioned (Aaliyah, Beyonce, Rihanna, etc...)

 

[ShiShiPooPoo]

I also want to say that I have been teaching for almost 15 years and I always try to challenge these kids on the negative beliefs that have been fed to them. Many of them have a problem accepting that they are of African heritage until I pull down that classroom map and start telling them about themselves. I also have a book called "beautiful women from around the world" that shows women of different cultures and they are just beautiful. I show this to them and leave it in the classroom library and often see them going over to look at it. Still, I hear on occasion, "I'm not African." or "I'm Indian."

This issue is just so heavy for me because I see first hand how it affects our folks...especially these girls. They come into my classroom with no hair to even put in a ponytail, all of six years old with some quick weave or a phony pony . it's been burned, torched, chewed off by chemicals and maltreatment. Then in comes a little girl who may have that hair where you can tell mom must be a member of LHCF, it's shiny, thick, not braided too tight, skimming her back and all they want to do is play in her hair all day.

 

[Ms. Cleo]

There are two mottos I live by:

"Each one teach one" and "If I can help somebody as I travel along, then my living will not be in vain"

The hair issue is just one of the problems that exists to keep us in mental bondage. But think about it, while we are fighting ourselves about our image, others are actually secretly admiring us!

My 6-year-old daughter has all three books. She took "I Love My Hair" to share with her class. We live in a predominately White area. Her hairstyles change weekly, and she recieves compliments from everyone. They like the versatility of her hair. One of her teachers told me that she wished she could have pretty braids like the Black girls when she was growing up in the 50s and 60s.

As women, we all have hair issues that trandcends race. It is never thick enough, long enough, the right color, too curly, too straight, etc. Trust me, Black girls are not the only ones running around with towels on their heads pretending to have long hair.

 

[Nice & Wavy]

ITA with this. Society is too stuck in their narrow views of what is acceptable/ beautiful for it too be changed overnight. The only way to make a slight dent in this trend is to start with our children. Teaching them to love their unique and beautiful features. It would also be helpful if there was more natural beauties in hollywood for them to look up too. I love the fact that there are black women in the media who are globally seen as beautiful. Its just a shame that alot of them constantly wear flowing blonde lacefronts, and are light skinned. Totally off topic but why is it that when there is a beautiful black woman their race is questioned (Aaliyah, Beyonce, Rihanna, etc...)

OT: Ummmm....your hair is thick and long!!!!

Thanks for posting so that we all can see all that hair girl

 

[Blackberry7]

interesting... im not sure from a wider influential perspective but I will be making sure my children know black and everything to do with black is beautiful. I don't plan on relaxing my childs hair.. I will allow her to make that decision when she is grown so she can appreciate, love and learn how to deal with her natural texture

^^ ITA.

That's what I was taught and so I teach.

I don't have anything specific to add that hasn't been said already but I wanted to say this is the best thread I've seen on a hair board - maybe ever! Thanks Kally for starting it. I hope it keeps going.

 

[Poohbear]

It would help if more African American women had natural hair themselves...
(and this is not meant to offend anyone with relaxed hair...I used to have relaxed hair myself)...

 

[VictoriousBrownFlower]

OT: Ummmm....your hair is thick and long!!!!

Thanks for posting so that we all can see all that hair girl

:BLUSH2: awww thanks

 

[Crissi]

Well, i think first of all we should start with what can we as black women do, as thereare black women all over the world dealing with hair issues, not just in america. I beleive that we should start with ourselves and our inner-circles. I've being showing my friends and associates that there is no such thing as good and bad hair and answering all their questions, and explaining things like the slave mentality/white imperialism.As well as breaking down the "why our hair doesn't grow" question with the simple answerslike relaxers/dye/fry and laid to the side VS the black man with the same hair that leaves it alone and can grow it to wherever he pleases. So far so good!

Im going to constantly uplift my future kids, quoting the bible and all, you are wonderfully and fearfully made! uhh huh yeanone of you is a mistake from the crowns of your head to the soles of your feet YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!! I also want to open a salon one day focussing on natural/trasisioning hair and GOOD HAIR WILL BE A DOMINANT HEAD OF HAIR (healthy hair!!) their. I want to teach me clients and elighten them, or atleast plant the seed...

 

[kally]

She was white and personally, I don't see the problem at all! The kids loved the book and she was teaching them about culture, cultural differences etc...then someone started calling her a racist. I applaud her efforts.

Yeah I do as well. At least she tried. I do not find it racist at all either. I think this book should be read in all kindergarden classes. That way all the races and sexes can understand the different types of hair to know the beauty it holds. When I was small my hair was talked about so badly. Which still to this day causes me to have somewhat negative views on my hair.

This also will stop the pressure mothers feel to relax little girls hair and the little girl from asking.

As I read these post I am so happy to hear about all of the effort you all are making to show case our beauty. I know I have directed every female at my job here. Some have checked it out and like it and they find it helpful.

The reason I like for us here at LHFC to get involved it because people believe by proof and this site has plenty of it.!!! B4 I came here I was one of those "oh she must be mixed with something "type of person. I had no idea AA women could grow some hair

 

[PinkSkates]

Originally posted by Jtsupanova:
I think the best thing we can do as African American Women is lead by example. GO NATURAL start with yourself! I agree that the media could be very useful way speak out about this topic but it could not sincerley be conveyed on Oprah or Tyra because they themselves have not embrace their natural hair

.

Amen. Lead by Exapmle: There is no way a Tyra or Ophra-type person can preach and lecture me on being proud of my natural hair, when they themselves are afraid and ashamed to embrace and show the world theirs.

 

[Divalicious]

My 6-year-old daughter has all three books. She took "I Love My Hair" to share with her class. We live in a predominately White area. Her hairstyles change weekly, and she recieves compliments from everyone. They like the versatility of her hair. One of her teachers told me that she wished she could have pretty braids like the Black girls when she was growing up in the 50s and 60s.

As women, we all have hair issues that trandcends race. It is never thick enough, long enough, the right color, too curly, too straight, etc. Trust me, Black girls are not the only ones running around with towels on their heads pretending to have long hair.

That's great everyone gives her compliments and kudos to you for getting the books.

 

[turnergirl]

I agree that we must lead by example. I have seen many women's feelings change about natural hair just from being around me and the many conversations we have about our hair. More than a few of my close friends chose to go natural as a result of my example. I have a few classmates from high school who have contacted me on facebook about their hair. Many of them with all kinds of emotional issues surrounding their decision. Hearing my perspective and seeing me rock my napps with confidence has helped them.

I believe leading by example will help but even if you do not have natural hair sharing your knowledge with others about this hair dilemna could be very effective.

 

[asha]

We have to get more of us loving us, before we can't expect other races to understand and appreciate who we are. That, I think, would be a start.

Totally agree with you!!!

 

[Poohbear]

.

Amen. Lead by Exapmle: There is no way a Tyra or Ophra-type person can preach and lecture me on being proud of my natural hair, when they themselves are afraid and ashamed to embrace and show the world theirs.

Exactly!!!