Do you want to come off as being as good or better then white women?

[ghanaian dime]

I don't compare myself or my hair to other women, including white women. I don't believe growing one's hair long has anything to do with another race of women. IMO, saying your hair can grow long is setting an intention and yes, it is saying you are equal when it comes to hair. I believe we as women (black. white or yellow) are already equal, period.

I agree. The things I chose to do in the name of beauty are all for me. I want healthy, long hair (in that order). But not because someone else has it, but because I think it will look very cute on me

 

[chica_canella]

Yep,mine as well.

yeah, like i've had long hair in high school and there is def a difference between flipping to get the hair out the way and flipping because you feel self concoius because your white boyfriend is checking out a black girl all in your face. it's like, "yeah, but i still have long hair," or anything to have one-up on the other women. women like to compete but i just think white women do moreso when they see a black women has everything she desires. i guess they are scared of bi-racial women. tan skin, black and white features, long (non-Quantam) curly hair. but there are black women out here with that too. Full black. whatever that is.

 

[sweetwhispers]

somewomen do feel that the only thing that white women( and other non-black) "have" over black women is hair. Body/Looks/ageing process our corner vs hair- their corner.

 

[LocksOfLuV]

somewomen do feel that the only thing that white women( and other non-black) "have" over black women is hair. Body/Looks/ageing process our corner vs hair- their corner.

I feel like that. But now that we are conquering the hair thing, they are in trouble.

 

[Poohbear]

I see what you're saying but I also see the huge gap betwen threads like this and threads in which posters are very proud to note that white people are amazed at their hairgrowth or are jealous cuz of it and so on.Fair enough I've never seen Isis,Camellia or you in on of those threads and I don't think I will but I def. understand and agree with what Locks,JC are saying.
If someone would actually come in here and admit to wanting to grow hair to *outdo* white women hairwise or to dispell myths they probably would catch a beating.

Oh okay. I guess that's what I was missing. You're right, I haven't seen threads like that where ladies would say white people were amazed and jealous of their hair growth.

And about the women who want to grow hair to "outdo" white women and to break the myth.... Do you all have certain people in mind that think this way or something? Do you all want them to admit it? How will it be beneficial to know? Do y'all want them to get a beating? I'm just wondering what the direction/purpose of this thread...

 

[chica_canella]

I get what you're asking shynessqueen. And OnaHairQuest and JCoily are right. Not everybody is going to admit it. To be honest, I don't want waist length hair either. That's just too much hair to be dealing with. But I am gonna let my natural hair grow out until it gets as big as I like it. I had a decent length hair as a child but once I got into my teenage years it just got all kind of jacked up and never really was right since. Having the hair that I want is just going to be one more thing on my list of attributes that I feel like everybody else won't have. Things that make me unique.

When I was in school the girls with the long hair always got more attention and once I started paying for my own hair I went and bought me some long hair. Not all people with long hair have this attitude but many (my mother included who just got long hair when I was in hs) feel like they have one up on other black women because their hair is long. And most black women's isnt and they're wearing weaves and braids. As messed up as that sounds, it is true. Most black women do wear weaves. And most of ones who wear their hair out don't have long hair. And people (especially men) always make comments to her about it things like Oh it's rare to see a black woman with long hair that's all her own or you know the whole is your family mixed or you have indian in your family bs...

Now that I'm older I do realize that I had some issues with myself that I had to get through which I have but I'm still a work in progress. As far as plove's comment about dark skinned women and long hair, I'm not sure how she's feels about it but I'm gonna guess it's gonna be along the lines that most dark skinned women don't have long hair. Light skin is usually put hand in hand with long hair. So when dark skinned women have long hair people make a big to do about it and you must have something mixed in your family to give you nice hair.

As a dark skinned woman myself when I was younger I always felt like I had to do extra things to my appearance for people to even make a second glance at me. Hair had to be on point, nails, outfit, make up, etc... Just to make up for my complexion. Usually when I date guys even now I get the whole, Oh I never dated a dark skinned girl until you. But you were so *insert whatever compliment here (usually i get exotic)* that it didn't matter. Or they'll try to argue with me that I'm brown skinned and not dark skinned. IDK if it's to make them feel better or what.

Now I realize that that was just dumb but it still holds true for other people. You don't know what people are thinking in their heads and what society and racism and colorism have made them come to believe as the truth.

i understand what you are saying about making up for your complexion because my best friend did this. staying slim, hair on point make-up on point. i mean always. you would not catch her slipping. and from her comments it wasn't because she was like this but she felt she couldn't be caught slipping.

it was so bad that when she wanted to cry she would hold her head up and fan her face to stop the tears from coming down.

but you don't have to makeup for your complexion for anyone because you are exotic and pretty so anyone who doesn't see that is dumb.

 

[LocksOfLuV]

Oh okay. I guess that's what I was missing. You're right, I haven't seen threads like that where ladies would say white people were amazed and jealous of their hair growth.

And about the women who want to grow hair to "outdo" white women and to break the myth.... Do you all have certain people in mind that think this way or something? Do you all want them to admit it? How will it be beneficial to know? Do y'all want them to get a beating? I'm just wondering what the direction/purpose of this thread...

No, I have no one in mind. I can't even remember WHO since it was said so many times. They don't have to speak if they don't want to. That's up to them.

I am just pointing out to Shyness that there are some people that do feel that way and that she ain't crazy for saying so. That's it and that's all.

 

[sweetwhispers]

I feel like that. But now that we are conquering the hair thing, they are in trouble.

 

[csmoot]

yeah, like i've had long hair in high school and there is def a difference between flipping to get the hair out the way and flipping because you feel self concoius because your white boyfriend is checking out a black girl all in your face. it's like, "yeah, but i still have long hair," or anything to have one-up on the other women. women like to compete but i just think white women do moreso when they see a black women has everything she desires. i guess they are scared of bi-racial women. tan skin, black and white features, long (non-Quantam) curly hair. but there are black women out here with that too. Full black. whatever that is.

There is this race relations book (I am trying to find it so give a link) but one of the things it talks about is race relations between black and white women. One particular incident that sticks out is the fact that the author said that white women flick there hair as a sign of power. I am not sure if I agree with that but I find it interesting that you said the above which was directly pointed out in that book.

BTW- My man is white and his looks at women with short and long hair. Its not the hair he seems to care about but mostly the boobs and the backside.

I just have never encountered people who have said that its an oddity for brown/ dark skin women to have long hair. My hair was much longer (and thicker for that matter) when I was in high school and I consider myself dark skin. I just have been out of the loop I suppose- or just clueless..I guess.

 

[PinkPeony]

somewomen do feel that the only thing that white women( and other non-black) "have" over black women is hair. Body/Looks/ageing process our corner vs hair- their corner.

Yes.However I def. think even if not length-wise we have them over with our hair too when it comes to versatility.
By lengthwise I mean the GENERAL population of blk women because I know we can grow our hair just as long as they do

 

[PinkPeony]

No, I have no one in mind. I can't even remember WHO since it was said so many times. They don't have to speak if they don't want to. That's up to them.

I am just pointing out to Shyness that there are some people that do feel that way and that she ain't crazy for saying so. That's it and that's all.

Yes,now that you ask me I don't think I've ever seen anyone *famous* posting threads like this... famous to me means well-known posters that I recognize.Yeah I maybe know 10,15 posters here b/c their post's stuck out to me.

 

[shynessqueen]

I get what you're asking shynessqueen. And OnaHairQuest and JCoily are right. Not everybody is going to admit it. To be honest, I don't want waist length hair either. That's just too much hair to be dealing with. But I am gonna let my natural hair grow out until it gets as big as I like it. I had a decent length hair as a child but once I got into my teenage years it just got all kind of jacked up and never really was right since. Having the hair that I want is just going to be one more thing on my list of attributes that I feel like everybody else won't have. Things that make me unique.

When I was in school the girls with the long hair always got more attention and once I started paying for my own hair I went and bought me some long hair. Not all people with long hair have this attitude but many (my mother included who just got long hair when I was in hs) feel like they have one up on other black women because their hair is long. And most black women's isnt and they're wearing weaves and braids. As messed up as that sounds, it is true. Most black women do wear weaves. And most of ones who wear their hair out don't have long hair. And people (especially men) always make comments to her about it things like Oh it's rare to see a black woman with long hair that's all her own or you know the whole is your family mixed or you have indian in your family bs...

Now that I'm older I do realize that I had some issues with myself that I had to get through which I have but I'm still a work in progress. As far as plove's comment about dark skinned women and long hair, I'm not sure how she's feels about it but I'm gonna guess it's gonna be along the lines that most dark skinned women don't have long hair. Light skin is usually put hand in hand with long hair. So when dark skinned women have long hair people make a big to do about it and you must have something mixed in your family to give you nice hair.

As a dark skinned woman myself when I was younger I always felt like I had to do extra things to my appearance for people to even make a second glance at me. Hair had to be on point, nails, outfit, make up, etc... Just to make up for my complexion. Usually when I date guys even now I get the whole, Oh I never dated a dark skinned girl until you. But you were so *insert whatever compliment here (usually i get exotic)* that it didn't matter. Or they'll try to argue with me that I'm brown skinned and not dark skinned. IDK if it's to make them feel better or what.

Now I realize that that was just dumb but it still holds true for other people. You don't know what people are thinking in their heads and what society and racism and colorism have made them come to believe as the truth.

um I'm starting to think you know me a lil to well to guess off the top of your head what that thread was about you are very close it was something like that .

I'm trying to stay away from going there again.

 

[Avaya]

My 4a/b hair will never in a million years resemble that of a white woman or any other woman whose cortex is softer, no matter how long it is, not even if it is relaxed bone straight.

I'll never be able to go to bed with my hair uncovered without waking up the next morning, looking like Alphalpha. I'll never be able to jump in a pool and have my hair dry straight and non puffy sans hair products.

No, my desire for long hair has absolutely nothing to do with white woman buttttt..... as was said by another poster - black women? That's my competition! I like being the "black girl with the long hair." I like entering the room and being literally the only, non biracial, black women whose long hair wasn't purchased and bobby pinned, glued, or stitched onto her head.

Looking at me, you'd never know this was my viewpoint, primarily because I keep my hair either in cornrows or in a bun, but when the occasions calls for it, the tresses come down, and its me brushing a lot of hate off my shoulders!

10 times out of 10 its black women that try to treat me like I'm the subpar one. What does a white chick have to do with me?

 

[glamazon386]

but you don't have to makeup for your complexion for anyone because you are exotic and pretty so anyone who doesn't see that is dumb.

Yeah I know that and you know that but there's a lot of ignorant people out there (especially some men) who still haven't figured it out. And I mean why do I have to be exotic to be pretty? Why can't I just be a pretty black girl. But that leads to a whole other convo so I'll just leave it at that. This reminds me of the episode of Girlfriends where Toni didn't wanna date the black millionaire because he was too dark though. And then she broke down the whole thing to Joan at the end of the episode about having to do extra things to compete. It's the same thing. Maybe it's not a big deal to people who haven't had that experience, but it is to me because I know first hand. I guess you can't fault people if they truly don't know.

Til this day, people still won't catch me slipping. But being glammed up has always been a part of who I am from a kid. I liked being dressed up even as a little girl. My mother is this way too for other reasons. Maybe she just passed it on. People know me as being that way like it's a part of my personality or something. I do it for me because it makes me feel good. It's just hard not to relapse or be offended when people make ignorant statements.

Shyness- lol alright we won't take it in that direction. But I see that we're on the same page.

 

[darkangel25]

I feel like that. But now that we are conquering the hair thing, they are in trouble.

They sure are. LOL

 

[ClassicBeauty]

When I was in school the girls with the long hair always got more attention and once I started paying for my own hair I went and bought me some long hair. Not all people with long hair have this attitude but many (my mother included who just got long hair when I was in hs) feel like they have one up on other black women because their hair is long. And most black women's isnt and they're wearing weaves and braids. As messed up as that sounds, it is true. Most black women do wear weaves. And most of ones who wear their hair out don't have long hair. And people (especially men) always make comments to her about it things like Oh it's rare to see a black woman with long hair that's all her own or you know the whole is your family mixed or you have indian in your family bs...

Now that I'm older I do realize that I had some issues with myself that I had to get through which I have but I'm still a work in progress.

I know that you are simply sharing your experience, but sometimes you have to ask whether the long haired girls felt superior or whether you felt inferior. Those are two different questions. No one can have a one up on you unless you give it to them (at least not in this context).
I've had long hair most of my life (except when I cut it really short once and the time I had a bad relaxer and had so much damage that I had to cut it to get it healthy again). Some people would try to say things like that about me, but in reality that was not true. I have always been that girl who didn't care much about hair. (I think that's why it was long. I usually wore it in a pony tail.) I'm into taking care of my hair more now (since I found this hair board) than ever before. And I have always been open to talk about what I did to my hair if I was asked. I learned over time that many of them had more issues with themselves than with me, my hair, or my skin color. (I heard the same thing about being so light.)

I say all that to say that none of us should give others power over how we feel about ourselves. I know that's easier said than done, but that's where we all should be trying to get to.


ETA: To answer the question, my hair has nothing to do with white people. My hair was actually as long as or longer than a lot of my white friends when I was growing up. I mentioned in another thread that I'm just learning the myth that black hair can't grow. (HONESTLY, I never knew so many people thought this way.) Most of my black friends (of all different complexions) had healthy, pretty hair of their own that was at least at their shoulders at some point in their life. My friends with shorter hair cut it off or had some damage that made them cut it off, but they can grow it out if they choose to.

 

[tld723]

bmoreflygirl
"And I mean why do I have to be exotic to be pretty? Why can't I just be a pretty black girl. "




You Are a BEAUTIFUL BLACK WOMAN

Trust me, it happens the other way around, too. Waaaaay back when I first went into the Air Force, I was dating a darker skinned black guy. His friends were all whispering and I couldn't hear what was being said, and he told me later that they were all like "high fiving" him because I was quote a "Redbone". I had never heard the term before, and never heard it since. I think I felt more insulted and disgusted because it came from someone black. I ome from a small town in upstate NY ( primarily white)and never experienced prejudice, and thought it quite ironic that it came from someone black.

 

[Lynnerie]

Ok, I do get what your saying but I dont think it has anything to do with white women. Because in that case it would be white, Asian, Indian, and Hispanic women walking around with long hair. I think the stereo-type is that black women wear weaves and can't grow long hair. I mean, look at the Asian Beauty supply stores. They market toward us. And every time I'm on this forum there's a story about someone's hair being mistaken for a weave. Other races dont get their hair mistaken for weaves. And I know white women rock extensions. I have white friends who wear them.

There's also an issue with our men..yes black men. They are so wrapped up into girls with long hair they mistake our hair for weaves. They get just as shocked as other races when they see a sister with some long hair.

And to comment on the dark skin and long hair thang. I know every dark skin sister can relate to this. I'm dark skin and you know how it is. If a girl is light skin its almost expected for her to have long hair and if she's dark its a surprise if she has long hair. Now we all know that texture has nothing to do with skin color but people outside of this hair board don't get it.

All this is because of the superficial beauty standards that have been engraved into society. But it all really started with causing a division between dark skinned and light skinned blacks dating back to slavery.

With all that being said and now that I've rambled into other issues... whats most important is to grow your hair for yourself if that be the case and rock whatever style you want because at the end of the day its going to take every black girl in the world to join this forum and learn to take care of their hair and every Asian bss to shut down or cater to I mean exploit other races and not just ours. Sorry so long but thats some honesty for ya!

 

[naicendivine]

i understand what you are saying about making up for your complexion because my best friend did this. staying slim, hair on point make-up on point. i mean always. you would not catch her slipping. and from her comments it wasn't because she was like this but she felt she couldn't be caught slipping.

it was so bad that when she wanted to cry she would hold her head up and fan her face to stop the tears from coming down.

but you don't have to makeup for your complexion for anyone because you are exotic and pretty so anyone who doesn't see that is dumb.

meanwhile my darkskinded butt is sittin up here in class lookin like a straight up homeless personOh well. I'm too lazy to care.

But to answer the post I admit I do want to grow my hair to prove black women are capable of growing it just like everyone else but as far as I'm concerned I never felt the need to try to come off as better than white women cause black women are better. Look at the siggy pics on this board. JMO

side note: somehow a 3rd of the people in my admin law class ended up being black females and we are all fly. the yt girls... not so much

 

[hairsothick]

I had the issue of wondering why my hair wasn't as long as or the same texture as the white girls in my class when I was little. I also used to believe that if I didn't have "good hair" that it would never be long. I am basically trying to grow my hair long just to say that I can do it. I moreso compare my hair to other black girls hair moreso than white ones. But I did have a hang up about it until recently, esp. a couple of months ago when my stylist told me that I can't go natural because I don't have "that kind of hair." I've just had to learn to tune ppl out because I know that I can do it,based on what I've seen here, so I'm done trying to explain it to people, I'll just show them instead.

Also, am I the only one who wondered why the black barbie had "white people's hair" when I was little? That added fuel to my fire.

 

[Lady Esquire]

This is such a heavy topic that taps into deeply-embedded feelings. The perception of skin color and hair texture within the black community, and even within other cultures, have always been weighed against the Caucasian's phenotype, and their definition of what is "beautiful". This type of mentality has been passed down from generation to generation, throughout the world. Even though we are all now learning to love everyone's differences, it is still something that lurks silently throughout modern society. And this type of self-loathing takes a long time for a community to purge.

After years of slavery (and different caste/class oppression around the globe) for centuries, even though we are no longer in shackles or (born into castes), we are still enslaved mentally with these slave-master views, which is a powerful form of manipulation that still holds us captive.

My parents are Haitian. My mother told me that in Haiti, the lighter you are, the more access you have to the finer things: education, politics, social status, etc. The lighter people often try to marry into other lighter families, to keep the future generations light. If you are not light, then your other features dictate beauty. Feautures such as your hair texture, the width of one's nose or lips also have importance on beauty. Next would be whether you spoke fluent French, as opposed to the patois "Creole," and now we are making education distinctions, and are breaking down the classes. My step father, who raised me, was from Trinidad, which is even more mixed, and it is not much different there either.

My sister who was light-skinned, same as me, had a softer hair texture, thinner lips, and a straighter nose. When I was growing up, my biological father would always say that I was the smart one and she was the pretty one. Now that I am older, I am well-over those hurtful words, but I am well-aware of the very same mindset that many people still possess. People may not go out of their way to reduce us in such a vain manner in today's world, but it is still an underlying view and still present, but it is simply more hidden in our more polite society.

I think what is going on today, is that weaves have made it so much more accessible to cover up our "kinks and naps" and instantly have a more accepted appearance. For the black women who are a bit more introspective, such as women on the hair boards, they have taken the time to love what God has given them, and to further understand how to treat their hair well.

As for myself, I know that whites did not invent long hair. I am so happy, releived, liberated to know that if I follow a healthy regimen, my hair, 4b coarse hair, can grow long. And I can be a beautiful black women with long hair. Not a girl who is trying to be white, which is a very important point that effects our self-image. Sometimes, I get a bit irritated that we have to do so much more than other races to keep healthy hair. But I also know that every culture has a nuisance that is unique to their own race, so I shrug my shoulders and keep it moving.

So, to answer your question: No, I am not trying to be as good or better than white women. I am educated, beautiful, caring, funny, and so much more. If I competed with white women, I am not quite sure what exact prize we would be competing for: a beauty trophy? Also, white women are not even thinking about us. So why should we put so much thought into them? When I walk into a room, I feel confident and beautiful. And I have only had this healthy hair for about two years, and less than that if you are talking about my length, and my hair is barely APL. For most of my life, I have been a confident woman with short hair. And even with short hair, I never felt "less than" white women. I strive to have healthy long hair because it has always been that one thing that I thought was not very attainable. Now that it is more within my control, it has nothing to do with white women. For me, I view long hair as a way to further enhance my natural black beauty and it is also satisfying to represent black women in a positive, sexy and attractive light, and that is what I focus on.

 

[PinkPeony]

I had the issue of wondering why my hair wasn't as long as or the same texture as the white girls in my class when I was little. I also used to believe that if I didn't have "good hair" that it would never be long. I am basically trying to grow my hair long just to say that I can do it. I moreso compare my hair to other black girls hair moreso than white ones. But I did have a hang up about it until recently, esp. a couple of months ago when my stylist told me that I can't go natural because I don't have "that kind of hair." I've just had to learn to tune ppl out because I know that I can do it,based on what I've seen here, so I'm done trying to explain it to people, I'll just show them instead.

Also, am I the only one who wondered why the black barbie had "white people's hair" when I was little? That added fuel to my fire.

No you're not.I thought the SAME thing,lol

 

[Aubergold]

I don't know. I really don't. It's very possible though. I mean i know it's not the whole reason but in the environment I was (and we all are) socialized in, I can definitely see how it's a subconcious possibility.

 

[Energist]

Heavy indeed! I just want to be myself, I know how media portrays women of color and I realize that the portrayals are ignorant and generally wrong. I don't pay any attention to Western beauty standards 1 bit! White people think I'm odd that I'm already dark skinned and sit out in the sun to get an even darker complexion, I don't care. When I went natural for 7 years, I was asked why I don't just relax it and it's because I wanted to give it an honest chance... it's my natural texture of hair! Etc etc...

Black women have their own unique and VERY diverse beauty that should not be compared to any others. Although I grew up in White surroundings, I celebrate being a Black woman and want to excel and be the best Black woman that I can. Seeing Black women with long hair has inspired me to allow mine to grow, not White women. I know that it takes a lot of time consuming effort for Black hair to grow to the extremes, and that intrigues me and makes me want to challenge myself to see if I am disciplined enough to do that for myself! I'm inspired and motivated by my sisters to be the best Black woman that I can... not White women!

 

[SandySea]

I don't care what white women have. We are already equal to them in every way. Black women have their own unique beauty, often unappreciated by some. Actually, others go under the knife and undergo cosmetic procedures trying to get what God gave us naturally.

 

[esoterica]

I think most women want long healthy hair. If anything, achieving it proves it to US more than any other group of people. All the negative things i've heard about afro hair over the years have all been from black people anyway.

 

[bLackButtaFly]

I think it has more to do with wanting to be a better self, whatever you envision that to be. I don't compare myself to other women period b/c that its just a downward spiral. There will always be someone prettier, smarter, more whatever than you, but you are the only you there is and that is a blessing in itself. I don't get caught in trying to stick with anyone's standard of beauty but mine. If I don't feel beautiful, then I make changes to feel better be that shaving my hair bald, wearing it straight, or going for a 3 mile run. Just be you.

 

[macherieamour]

Nope. Ever since I was 11, my mother took me to the salon every week and I had my hair done. Thats why if you look at pictures of me, my hair has always appeared long. I dont have good genes, my hair was professionally maintained for most of my life.


When I came to college, I had no idea whereto find a salon to go to and whenever I tried to do my hair, I ended up damaging it. I realized that it was ridiculous that I had no idea how to do the hair growing out of my own head.

Thats when I joined LHCF and experimentented with products and regimens. I learned and developed healthy habits and my hair length is a by product of the habits I developed, not because I secretly wanna compete with white girls. My hair is healthier than most of theirs anyways....sheee-uhh

 

[Serenity_Peace]

Thank you, Thank you, Thank you for your honesty.

I'm going to step in and defend Shynessqueen here as well. I think that the European/American standards of beauty do a lot of damage to the psyche of black women, whether we realize it or not. As a child, I grew up around white girls, and I do remember comparing myself to them, as they were considered beautiful. Most of them had long, flowing hair, and like many black girls, I remember donning a towel and pretending that it was my hair. The images of beauty that we are bombarded with in this society surely must have some sort of impact on our self-esteem. It's hard for me to accept that those who claim not to have the concerns that Shyness expresses are not being honest with themselves. Surely at some point in our lives, most black women have experienced these feelings from time to time, though many of us have worked hard to overcome.

Hair was, is and will always be a huge issue for black women. And the stigma against nappy hair persists, although I think we've come a long way in this society to reclaim our cultural roots and embrace nappy hair. But the prejorative persists, hence the Don Imus controversy. And believe it or not, I still experience a lot of ignorance from the larger mainstream society that continues to demoralize black women and their hair. Sadly, blacks do it to themselves more than whites, and yet the myth stands that *most* (certainly not ALL) black women can't grow long hair. Even I used to feel this way.

So part of me does want to prove the naysayers wrong. But for the most part, I just want to finally have healthy, long hair. I know that my hair can grow long because it always has, but it hasn't always been healthy.

Bottom line, most womens' self-esteem in inextricably tied to their hair and how they feel about it. Hair is the very expression of beauty for many women, black, white, yellow, green, red and beyond. For black women, in particular, it continues to be the remaining bastion of cultural expression that we haven't fully come to grips with.

I don't think Shyness is out of line with these questions. I see where she's coming from.

 

[Lady Esquire]

Hair was, is and will always be a huge issue for black women.

So part of me does want to prove the naysayers wrong. For black women, in particular, it continues to be the remaining bastion of cultural expression that we haven't fully come to grips with.

I don't think Shyness is out of line with these questions. I see where she's coming from.

Said so eloquently.