What age do you relax a childs hair???

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PrimaD

New Member
So over the weekend my lovely sis in law informs me that she wants to relax her DD hair whom is only 5 :nono::nono::nono: I like :censored: she is too young:hammer:. The child as lovely thick 4b/c w/e hair. My sis in law has never been one to do hair or keep it up even her DD natual hair. So I got on my soap box about why she shouldn't and the damage she could cause if the hair isn't care for. Also she has pressed this childs hair and there is heat damage. To keep dear ol' sis in law from doing anything crazy to my niece's hair I twisted it. I know, why should I care its not my child. But I would hate for her to become another blad headed little girl due to a relxer. I really hope you ladies can give me idea or sites for my sis in law to look at.:feedback:

4/8/11 so just a quick update sis-in-law called and wants me to do her dd hair again. The info you ladies shared with me, I passed on to her. So getting on my soap box has worked so far. So the creamy crack won't be touch her hair for now. You ladies are the bee's knee's
 
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i cant stand when adults relax children's hair. why the f8ck does a child need straight hair.

eta - that came out harsher than i meant it to
 
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mischka said:
i cant stand when adults relax children's hair. why the f8ck does a child need straight hair.
Click to expand...

Exactly...esp at 5 yrs old!

If u can do hair n they stay close by try n do ur niece's hair for ur sis n law...

Sent from my HTC Glacier using Long Hair Care Forum App
 
http://beadsbraidsbeyond.blogspot.com/
http://www.tightlycurly.com/technique/tipsforlittleones/

I don't have a daughter, but I honestly feel like I would not relax my daughter's hair if I had one. However, I try not to preach to other parents unless I'm willing to pitch in and help. I purchased the Princess Tiana's set for Carol's Daughter from my niece it works really well - no more tears on wash day. Hairveda's products also work well on my niece and they are starting a kids line.

Other helpful products: Denman brush, Quidad comb, and Miss Jessie's Baby Buttercreme.
 
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My daughter is 5 with gorgeous hair and the two above blogs posted helped me a lot with learning to care for her hair (I was previously relaxed). I truly believe that relaxing and weaving children's hair, especially little black girls sends an incredibly negative message to them in regards to their self image and what is considered beautiful.

Honestly, the youngest I would ever consider is at least 13.
 
Never. :D

Okay, okay, if not NEVER then 14 is okay. I got my first relaxer 2 days before I started high school.
 
Never.

In my view a good parent is a person that instills a positive self-image and self-esteem in their daughter. I think this is especially important as black parents. Growing up as a Black girl there will be no shortage of people/media criticizing her hair and features.

When you straighten and relax a little black girls hair, even if you're not saying it verbally, you're sending an even stronger message that part of what is natural to her, is not good/pretty/beautiful/presentable enough.

I will never be responsible for my child relaxing her hair, I wont pay for it either. I plan to raise my daughter to take immense pride in her hair and when she wants the straight look I'll be open to flat ironing.
 
mischka said:
i cant stand when adults relax children's hair. why the f8ck does a child need straight hair.
Click to expand...

My thoughts exactly! I would think 18-21 years old is appropriate only if she is mature enough to handle caring for relaxed hair.

ETA: Thanks to everyone who has posted links in this thread! I just sent my friend an email with the links. She is not thinking of relaxing her daughter's hair, but she needed these tips.
 
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Relaxers are not necessary.

How well does the mother take care of her own head of hair?

If that's not going so well, can't expect too much for the baby. :(
 
I would prefer a person cut a child's hair than put chemicals in it. That's what other races do especially in very young children.
 
My mom is very high maintenance when it comes to her hair..when she was still living in the states, she had a standing salon appointment for every Thursday...so when I came into the world, so did I lol.. (for me it was every two weeks) and I had my very first relaxer at the ripe ol' age of FOUR. :nono: And I didnt break the cycle until years later....started stretching my relaxers last year and BC'd in August...15+ years and I finally figure it out lol :rolleyes::lol:
 
The mother has a short cut like Halle Berry and doesn't care for her hair just rolls out of bed and keeps it moving no comb or finger combing. But I did do twist in her DD hair ast night that I know should last for a few weeks. I have offered my help in the past but now I'm really trying to offer my time to care for her hair, beacuse I can already see what will happen if she becomes relaxed. I also have tried to educate her on produts for natural hair ect.
 
I relaxed my daughters hair when she was 5, but I also have lots of knowledge and was able to keep it health..ie Dcs, wash, trim, etc and now her hair is almost apl and she is 8. I needed her hair to be more managable..I was tired of the tears and tangles and I wanted to make both of our lives much easier.
 
~Sparklingflame~ said:
I texlaxed my oldest DD when she was 6.
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Me and my mom had an argument once over what age she relaxed me. I said it was around 6-7. She thinks it was much later.

I'm torn on this issue. I can say all day long that I dont feel a child should get a relaxer but to this day, my mother still remembers and fusses about how hard my hair was to deal with. Type 4 nightmare in her eyes.

At the end of the day, the person saying NO is not doing that child's hair every night. So unless they are there to help and offer haircare support, what do you really expect them to do?

I still remember the hot comb burns on my ear and I hated Saturday mornings until I got that relaxer.

If I had not joined this board back in 2007, I would've been gung ho about a relaxer. My neices were relaxed young. All I can do is :nono: and move on b/c I dont live with them and I know their mother aint trying to hear all that.
 
MizzBrown said:
Me and my mom had an argument once over what age she relaxed me. I said it was around 6-7. She thinks it was much later.

I'm torn on this issue. I can say all day long that I dont feel a child should get a relaxer but to this day, my mother still remembers and fusses about how hard my hair was to deal with. Type 4 nightmare in her eyes.

At the end of the day, the person saying NO is not doing that child's hair every night. So unless they are there to help and offer haircare support, what do you really expect them to do?

I still remember the hot comb burns on my ear and I hated Saturday mornings until I got that relaxer.

If I had not joined this board back in 2007, I would've been gung ho about a relaxer. My neices were relaxed young. All I can do is :nono: and move on b/c I dont live with them and I know their mother aint trying to hear all that.
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:yep: I was 4 I think when I got a relaxer. Maybe 5 and I know why my mother did it. The same reason why I did it to my DD: She LITERALLY has enough hair on her head for 3 people and Im not kidding. I had to literally re-do her hair every single day and it was too much for me. LITERALLY. I couldnt just let my child walk around looking like her head hadnt been touched in weeks when I just did her hair the day before.
 
It takes a village, Auntie. So you did the right thing by pitching in and offering your perspective. I remember a dermatologist telling me that relaxers shouldn't be used before a child reaches puberty but I can't remember the reason...:thought:
 
Throughout my entire childhood I had box braids (with extensions), maybe a style like that if she feels she cant manage her child's hair.

I personally wouldn't relax a head under 12yrs old.
 
This is kind of weird because i had the same discussion with my best friend about her daughter who is 5 or 6 today. She is very hair lazy even with her own head of hair and feels like her daughter has the most unmanageable hair ever. I tried to explain some ways to care for her daughters thick 4a/b hair. Simple things like clarify to get all that grease build up out and DC's,moisture, coconut cream relaxer, etc. Everything fell on deaf ears even after I offered to do these things to her daughter's hair for free. My bestie made a good point tho, no matter what condition her DD hair is when she leaves my house my best friend wont keep it up and thats straight out of her mouth. I finally just said no matter what whether relaxed texlaxed or natural your gonna have to care for her hair. I wish her the best but she knows I'm a lil ticked off at her for thinking nothing but a relaxer can be done for her DD hair at such a young age. My daughter has some thick hair at 10months old and I can't imagine giving up on her hair at all.
 
My mother put a kiddie relaxer (Just 4 me brand, yep I remember!:yep:) in my hair when I was 8. I requested it though, she would touch up every 8 weeks..it was never a bad experience though.:yawn: As I got older I got introduced to the curling iron, and my hair dramatically broke off eventually to NL over the years...:ohwell:
 
I don't understand the laziness in people perming their children's hair. I do my daughters hair all the time and there is neither tear nor fuss about it.
 
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