Were you 100% sure?

[ichephren]

When you got married, were you 100% sure that your fiancee was the right person? How sure can we be that a fiancee would be a good spouse for the rest of our lives? Or do you think that certain factors we should be 100% about and others we can be unsure about? What do you ladies think?

 

[*~*Afrolicious*~*]

Marriage is forever, so if someone's not 100% sure about marriage then counseling or calling off the marriage might be a necessary step.

 

[SelahOco]

I wasn't 100% sure about the timing, because we got married so soon. The result, avoidable issues that we eventually got thru.

Now, when my friends tell me they are getting married, I just ask them if they have any doubts. Because if you do - it doesn't make him a bad person, or mean he's not the one. It just means there's something in you that wants your attention.

You cannot predict the future of what a person might do. But you have to be rather certain of a man's character. That he has shown you consistant "fruit" or evidence through his actions and words of who he is. If you're at peace with that, you feel it's God will, you've prepared your self thru advice and counsel, and you love him....I'd say you should get married.

 

[madamdot]

I wasn't 100% sure about the timing, because we got married so soon. The result, avoidable issues that we eventually got thru.

Now, when my friends tell me they are getting married, I just ask them if they have any doubts. Because if you do - it doesn't make him a bad person, or mean he's not the one. It just means there's something in you that wants your attention.

You cannot predict the future of what a person might do. But you have to be rather certain of a man's character. That he has shown you consistent "fruit" or evidence through his actions and words of who he is. If you're at peace with that, you feel it's God will, you've prepared your self thru advice and counsel, and you love him....I'd say you should get married.

That's a good way of looking at it. I also tell people marriage is hard work and they think I am saying I don't like my husband. I love, I mean absolutely adore this men, women tell me how lucky I am . . . and its still hard work ... its just that I am happy to put the work in. So if you have doubts don't do it.

As for me. Nope. The final thing was when he met my family they gave their approval. He took the experience with them all in stride . . . and they are a hand full. To him, my family is his family and his family is my family. My family ADORES him. Sometimes he teases me about it.

 

[Transformer]

I don't think anyone is ONE HUNDRED percent sure that their spouse is the right one. That would mean that every desire, fantasy, expectation is met by that one person....I don't think anyone can do that. For me, it was knowing that we had the same value system---and that was important to me. I put our probability of success at 92%...that was good enough for me!

There were outstanding issues such as level of assertiveness, and self-confidence that I was very much aware that I thought we could support each other through, but he certainly wasn't the person of my dream.....but I thought he was a very good person and some things were going to be a trade-off.

Skip to 32 years later---he's still a good person, we are still synchronized on values, we've never had an argument over money or had rough financial times, and he's been the best father in the WORLD. We've had other issues, his confidence wanes at times I and have to perform my "lift him up" function. But more important we've both bought traits that balance some of the others' weak points.

 

[JustKiya]

No, I wasn't 100% certain. I think that's - asking a bit much.

Well, let me rephrase. On the crucial, foundation, basic stuff - yes, I was 100% certain we were on the same page. Stuff like fidelity, and employment and children and money and long term life goals and sex - yeah, there, we had the talks, we had come to terms.

On the rest? Meh. 85%? 75%? Well, that's what makes marriage hard work - coming to terms, making agreements and compromises on the 50-11 little things that life - and living together - is all about.

 

[blkbeauty]

Marriage is forever, so if someone's not 100% sure about marriage then counseling or calling off the marriage might be a necessary step.

Well perfection or 100% is hard to come by. I am currently engaged with my SO and I know that I, 100% love him; there is no denying the love I have for him - PERIOD. There is also no denying the fact that I want marriage with him and look forward to spending a happily after lifetime with him. However, I cannot predict the future in what could happen when I live in the present. Living in an imperfect world - we all are human beings. I can see why most people would not know if they are 100% sure or have slight doubts.