secretrose
New Member
Hey Ladies:
I really need your advice. I have been with my current guy for about 3 months. I met him over 7 months ago. He is from the east coast but had moved down south where I met him on a business trip so we just talked on the phone.
At the time we met, I was dating someone but I wasn't happy. The guy I was with didn't seem like he wanted a relationship but never admitted it. He used to go out to the clubs a lot with his friends without inviting me and his phone used to ring off the hook and he would just put it on silent. I knew he was talking to other girls. He was also really boring and I really wanted a change.
4 months ago, my new guy told me he would be moving closer for a job and he wanted to take things more seriously. He would be staying with his parents until he saved enough to get an apt here. He has a house but rented it out when he moved down south.
Everything kind of sped up. We went on weekend trips to visit his brother, he introduced me to his friends and family (mom and dad) all within one month of him coming to the east coast. We have so much in common, his parents and friends all really like me and we got along really great. We spent almost all our free time together. He even stayed with me for over a week in my apt and we used to go to work together. We worked about 10 blocks apart.
During our first trip, he told me that he would like for me to completely end my relationship because we were getting close and he thinks he may be falling in love with me. I didn't object because I was going to break up with my ex anyway.
So fast forward, everything was going really well until he told me that his 2 month contract ended with his job about 2 weeks ago so he has been looking for a new job. I didn't even know it was a contract job. He has been completly broke. He has unofficial child support, ex-wife support, ect that he was paying with his savings and now no job.
Things have gone down hill. We don't go out anymore. I pay most of the time. Even before he lost his job it was half/half. I lent him money to buy a car which he can't register because of no money. I had driven him around everywhere he wanted. He lives in NY and I live in NJ so I wracked up a big stack of tolls. Over $250 which I paid for. Now we have a convo yesterday where he kind of admits that he has been talking to another female on the phone and he tells me he doesn't want a relationship. He said he considers me a really good friend and he wants for us to stay the same but doesn't want the label of a relationship. Wow.
I really need your advice. I have been with my current guy for about 3 months. I met him over 7 months ago. He is from the east coast but had moved down south where I met him on a business trip so we just talked on the phone.
At the time we met, I was dating someone but I wasn't happy. The guy I was with didn't seem like he wanted a relationship but never admitted it. He used to go out to the clubs a lot with his friends without inviting me and his phone used to ring off the hook and he would just put it on silent. I knew he was talking to other girls. He was also really boring and I really wanted a change.
4 months ago, my new guy told me he would be moving closer for a job and he wanted to take things more seriously. He would be staying with his parents until he saved enough to get an apt here. He has a house but rented it out when he moved down south.
Everything kind of sped up. We went on weekend trips to visit his brother, he introduced me to his friends and family (mom and dad) all within one month of him coming to the east coast. We have so much in common, his parents and friends all really like me and we got along really great. We spent almost all our free time together. He even stayed with me for over a week in my apt and we used to go to work together. We worked about 10 blocks apart.
During our first trip, he told me that he would like for me to completely end my relationship because we were getting close and he thinks he may be falling in love with me. I didn't object because I was going to break up with my ex anyway.
So fast forward, everything was going really well until he told me that his 2 month contract ended with his job about 2 weeks ago so he has been looking for a new job. I didn't even know it was a contract job. He has been completly broke. He has unofficial child support, ex-wife support, ect that he was paying with his savings and now no job.
Things have gone down hill. We don't go out anymore. I pay most of the time. Even before he lost his job it was half/half. I lent him money to buy a car which he can't register because of no money. I had driven him around everywhere he wanted. He lives in NY and I live in NJ so I wracked up a big stack of tolls. Over $250 which I paid for. Now we have a convo yesterday where he kind of admits that he has been talking to another female on the phone and he tells me he doesn't want a relationship. He said he considers me a really good friend and he wants for us to stay the same but doesn't want the label of a relationship. Wow.
And even if they are making less money than you right now, the good ones will still be willing to pay for dates... the dates just might be at Friday's instead of Chez Pierre or whatever! 
erplexed
Save yourself the prolonged heartbreak. I've been there down that too many times myself. I hope everything works out for you.
