"We will not lose our love, our marriage, OVER HAIR"

[bajandoc86]

^^^

 

[Rocky91]

sidenote rant:
why oh why lawd is the "napptural hair commun-a-tee" (insert toss of the fro here) getting so damn EXTRA.COM??!!

We got chicks running pyramid schemes on somebody over some dang shea butter and oils, chicks ready to fight each other, chicks ready to pledge over some hair. We got fifty million hair websites, a thousand and one damn youtubes and some of them don't be on ****, mofos LYING about hair progress, damn near throwing out their fangas and twisting up their backs to claim 2 extra inches, chicks afraid to even touch their damn hair without kidskin gloves, ppl ready to abandon their families for the sake of the hair, folks ready to refinance their homes over some unicorn tears and whipped elixir pudding de la napptural gods.
My Lawd.
*end rant, sits in corner and pouts*

 

[snillohsss]

When a woman is pregnant, real men become protectors...even more than they are naturally. No man will come out and say we need to divorce over some dog gone hair...not to his PREGNANT wife. There is another issue here that is being glossed over, and he is getting a pass because he is a man and doesn't know how to communicate well.

If anyone thinks that his stance is innocent because he feels he isn't "heard" is blind. I am not saying she should up and leave, but she shouldn't take this lightly. They need to get their behinds in counseling. Perhaps the REAL reason he wants to divorce will come out, and they can work on that so they can hopefully move past it and grow as a family.

 

[Meemee6223]

I wish my husband would! He did some shyt like that in our first year of being steady. I told him if he EVER threatened to leave again I would help him pack! And here we are, happily married, 7 years later... He's a smart man!

Sent from my T-Mobile G2

 

[tiffers]

^^For realz, he was just hoping this was his time to get out. He'll come up with another one and it won't be about looks or anything. He was testing the waters. Home chittlin' needs to get to a lawyer and review her needs right now cuz you never know. See, this is one reason I don't do AA men...not at all

Uhhhh... what?

First off, who said the husband was black?

Second, douchebags come in all colors. It ain't just black men who act a fool.

If this isn't the most foolish, ignorant thing I've read...

 

[discodumpling]

I just don't get the whole "doing your hair for your man" stuff. MY hair, MY body...imma keep doing ME in these areas; I know nothing of compromise when it comes to making me happy. My husband (who's been my man for 20+ years) can truly kick rocks if he wants to leave; AND when I explain to my nappy haired daughter why her Daddy left she's gonna be giving him the side eye too....

 

[Tiye]

The other woman gave him and ultimatum, so now he had to be able to go back to his Secondary chic and be able to say to her, " I told her that I wanted us to separate". Now the jump-off may delay her departure and he is all happy and giving hugs.

Yep this.

Still not quite sure if this is a real story, however or just some bored person having fun online.

 

[CarLiTa]

sidenote rant:
why oh why lawd is the "napptural hair commun-a-tee" (insert toss of the fro here) getting so damn EXTRA.COM??!!

We got chicks running pyramid schemes on somebody over some dang shea butter and oils, chicks ready to fight each other, chicks ready to pledge over some hair. We got fifty million hair websites, a thousand and one damn youtubes and some of them don't be on ****, mofos LYING about hair progress, damn near throwing out their fangas and twisting up their backs to claim 2 extra inches, chicks afraid to even touch their damn hair without kidskin gloves, ppl ready to abandon their families for the sake of the hair, folks ready to refinance their homes over some unicorn tears and whipped elixir pudding de la napptural gods.
My Lawd.
*end rant, sits in corner and pouts*

Amen.

Sent from my PC36100 using PC36100

 

[danniegirl]

I'm not addressing the topic of this thread (i think enough has been said that i agree with already) I just want to touch on the following quote

Love is not about the outer appearance and if you love someone, the outer package should not change that love.

What happens if a man whats to live as a women just on the outside could you still be with him the same exact way your were with him before.

 

[Ogoma]

It seems he didn't marry her, he married what she represented.

In the 12 years I have dated and been married to my husband, we have changed our hair, our styles, our interests, but the very essence of who we are is still intact. A hairstyle change should never be the basis of seeking a divorce from your spouse.

 

[Ogoma]

I'm not addressing the topic of this thread (i think enough has been said that i agree with already) I just want to touch on the following quote



What happens if a man whats to live as a women just on the outside could you still be with him the same exact way your were with him before.

A man choosing to live as a woman is not just a change on the outside. It is a change in perspective and how he views himself. An outside or outer change would be growing a beard, long hair, locing his hair, adding weight. You cannot compare those more trivial items to a sex change or a person feeling like they are in the wrong gender.

 

[Leeda.the.Paladin]

My husband hated my hair when I went natural but, as he said, "I didn't marry you for your hair" It's a shame he's trying to use that as an excuse to do whatever it is he has in mind.

 

[Poopiedo]

This sounds like some wack a$$ after school special. Were we supposed to say, "aw that was sweet, the best of luck to them both." Their problems go way deeper than hair. If she is content with their outcome, then I am too.

I wonder does his chick on the side straighten her hair on the regular? That is if this story is actually true or is this is a "my kinky hair conquers all and we really love each other more than ever now type story."

Side eye two times with a hand clap.

 

[TCatt86]

This sounds like some wack a$$ after school special. Were we supposed to say, "aw that was sweet, the best of luck to them both." Their problems go way deeper than hair. If she is content with their outcome, then I am too.

I wonder does his chick on the side straighten her hair on the regular? That is if this story is actually true or is this is a "my kinky hair conquers all and we really love each other more than ever now type story."

Side eye two times with a hand clap.

I was wondering how his side chick looks too.


Sent from my DROID3 using DROID3

 

[Southernbella.]

My dh didn't like my hair AT ALL when I went natural. I've talked about that here before.

On everything, I wish a niggrum WOULD threaten to divorce me over some hair. That's just...I can't fathom it.

He's not being heard? His poor manly sensibilities? Men are different? For real? It's like that?

I agree with everyone else...this is about something else entirely. There are way deeper issues here than just hair.

 

[divachyk]

I can't speak on the underlying motive for his words as I don't know his heart. To me it sounds like they lacked communication on many levels.

 

[NaturalEnigma]

This story is just sad. The husband sounds so superficial. Who would divorce someone because of their hair. Is that all it takes now to break up a marriage? Is that why 50% of marriages end up in divorce? If she was beautiful with relaxed hair I'm sure she's beautiful with natural hair. If he was serious I would leave him, I'm sorry I can't even imagine depending on someone like that. People making it seem like natural hair is the devil. It is not that serious.

 

[hothair]

WOW *turns around and walks out of thread*

*Came back to say* Some men can be real arses she needs to check that dude this was NOT about hair.

 

[SilentRuby]

"We need to split up" ? That was not about her ignoring his feelings about her hair. He's trying to get out and was testing the waters...

 

[likewtr4chklit]

Da fu%! did I just read??? Was this a joke?

 

[SmileyNY]

He sounds a little slow. Ok, I take that back... He sounds completely & totally slow. If being married means living with an idiot, I'll pass.

I understand if he prefers straight hair. No biggie. A lot of guys do. However, the whole "we need to split up" crap over HAIR... & while she's 5 months pregnant is asinine.

I'm not saying I would leave him if I were her... I'm just saying I would have never married & procreated with an idiot like that in the 1st place

ALSO: She should look for him to come up with another excuse to split up after the baby is born. That one didn't work, so he's back to the drawing board... Thinking of another "master" plan with his idiot arse.


Sent from my iPhone.

 

[DDTexlaxed]

This is nothing new. How many natural ladies state that they don't get male attention they used to when they were relaxed? The poster's issue may be more bigger than that, but, ladies, just be REAL. I'd relax in a hot second if my hubby asked me to. I just don't think it is all that important to be honest.

 

[Roux]

I don't believe this for a single second.

 

[tHENATuRALhAiRpRoJEcT]

^^For realz, he was just hoping this was his time to get out. He'll come up with another one and it won't be about looks or anything. He was testing the waters. Home chittlin' needs to get to a lawyer and review her needs right now cuz you never know. See, this is one reason I don't do AA men...not at all.

...............

 

[Stepiphanie]

This is nothing new. How many natural ladies state that they don't get male attention they used to when they were relaxed? The poster's issue may be more bigger than that, but, ladies, just be REAL. I'd relax in a hot second if my hubby asked me to. I just don't think it is all that important to be honest.

I'm sorry but Im gonna have to disagree with this one. Yes many men prefer straight hair because that is what they are accustomed to. Asking someone to change their hair the way it grows out of their hair or get a divorce is absolutely ridiculous. My fiancee preferred straight hair when we started dating and had jokes when I told him I was going natural, but has not for one second threatened our relationship over my nappy hair. Preferring that she wear her hair straight more often, ok that would be understandable blurting out we need to split up?? Over some damn hair, um yea that nuccca gotta go!!

 

[reeko43]

It is hard to tell what is really going on from the limited information provided in the story. I will say though, and it has been brought up, that we do need to pay attention to our spouse's needs.

My husband was against me going natural. Did I tell him to kiss my ***, kick rocks, roll my eyes and neck and tell him I don't care what he thinks? I took the time to educate him on my decision. I told him that what he feels about my decision does matter to me because I love him and I would hope he would consider how I feel in the decisions he makes. He asked for a compromise. DH asked that I do not cut my hair off but grow out gradually. He also asked that I straighten my hair once in a while.

Fast forward to today. DH no longer wants me to straighten my hair. He states he has grown to love my hair. He has done his own research on natural hair and asked for imiput from women at his job. I know that he really respects that I was willing to compromise.

If the story was true, the guy was dead wrong. However, I wouldn't be surprised if the wife had that same "I don't give a &*$# what you think attitude that is displayed in this thread. I believe they were both wrong and may need some outside help with communication and compromise.

With some of these attitudes and that not doing AA men comment, it is not hard to understand why there are so many single women. Doesn't matter about color. All men want respect as all women want love. We can't demand this and that without willing to give as well. Sisters, be mature, stop rolling your eyes and necks talking about what all you won't do and take time to educate the brothers on your hair choices. That will lead to far more success stories.

 

[tropical-punch]

I call bull****

 

[greenandchic]

This is nothing new. How many natural ladies state that they don't get male attention they used to when they were relaxed? The poster's issue may be more bigger than that, but, ladies, just be REAL. I'd relax in a hot second if my hubby asked me to. I just don't think it is all that important to be honest.

I WISH he'd tell me to relax my hair. nono:

 

[Meemee6223]

Yeah, I agree with everyone else. He was looking for a way out. It's not over yet, unfortunately.

Sent from my T-Mobile G2

 

[LifeafterLHCF]

Like when dude would have said that I would have been ok that's fine.It shows what really matters to you and your appeasement.I find this story a bit far fetched but there are some real douche bags out there who only want what they want and feel the wife is suppose to do it..I bet there some things the wife doesn't like but gets over it as its not important enough to split up about..