We Have Been Bamboozled!

[candy626]

I grew up in white suburban areas so I always knew this. Some have nice hair some dont. Just like us really they just don't have the same level of breakage and retention problems of course.

I never singled out white girls hair either from other races that have type 1 or type 2 hair like Asians and Hispanics. I kind of lump them all together. I always knew people with these hair types had much easier time styling their hair (in a western sense) and didn't have to worry as much about breakage. Other then that, I always wanted my own hair to be long and healthy. I mostly admired anybody who had type 3 hair that was long (regardless of their race). Not so much people with naturally straight hair.

But any hair can get damaged. I learned that from wearing human hair wigs, which I'm sure are made in Asia. Too much heat can split and thin even the strongest hair. As can improper combing, brushing and styling. I think American women as a whole have more damaged hair then in the past because mostly everyone I know is addicted to their flat iron.

 

[My Friend]

Waymennit....what??! But that is true...their hair is just as bad as ours. But there's no emphasis put on their raggedy looking hair like it is for us...so they feel they can get away with it.

You are so right.

 

[ellebelle88]

Even if their hair is raggedy and with split ends galore, it doesn't change the fact that black men still feel as though their hair is inherently better than the "nappy" hair that black women have. They see white hair as straight and flowy and beautiful.

So everyone in this thread may see all the imperfections of white women's hair and use that to make you feel better about yourselves but at the end of the day, a white woman's hair usually is placed on a higher pedestal than our hair by our own black men.

Further, a white woman can have VERY visible or obvious weave in her hair and black men won't even THINK to ask if that's her hair. When I was relaxed and BSL, every black man I met asked me if it was my hair. How embarrassing is that ish???? Would they have liked if I asked them if it was true that their penis was big since they are black???

 

[My Friend]

Even if their hair is raggedy and with split ends galore, it doesn't change the fact that black men still feel as though their hair is inherently better than the "nappy" hair that black women have. They see white hair as straight and flowy and beautiful.

So everyone in this thread may see all the imperfections of white women's hair and use that to make you feel better about yourselves but at the end of the day, a white woman's hair usually is placed on a higher pedestal than our hair by our own black men.

Further, a white woman can have VERY visible or obvious weave in her hair and black men won't even THINK to ask if that's her hair. When I was relaxed and BSL, every black man I met asked me if it was my hair. How embarrassing is that ish???? Would they have liked if I asked them if it was true that their penis was big since they are black???

I don't use other people for pedestals It was eye opening for me. Because western society bombards us with white beauty, I did not see with my own eyes, I saw what I had been taught.

I think black men are doing the samething. Once I dropped a ittle knowledge on my DH and my bro's they too could see the light. My bro's are far from gay, metrosexual, unsure, etc..but they can spot a weave in the dark, with one eye open and after drinking a bottle of Hen

My bro's were the one's who thought Janet Jackson's "hair" was her hair

I bet most DH/SO of women on this board, see things differently.

 

[lissalove]

I think the way our natural texture is marketed as " difficult " is part of the issue. If our salons had always focused on natural hair care and not just chemically treated/ weaved locks being natural would be the norm. My mother didn't relax my hair until middle school but I always wanted my natural hair to be beautiful. I always felt it was a hassel to maintain relaxed hair. Since coming to this board and learning to care for my hair I realized my natural texture isn't as bad as I thought. My mother was just using the wrong products and I've got a 4a 3b mix going on. I would love to have my natural hair to be
long and healthy. Now my brothers comment that they don't l ike the hair of other races only for the look/texture but that too many of us have bad hair practices. No man wants a woman with hair that smells burnt, funky from not washing often enough or dirty head scarves, or can't be touched. My SO is not black and he was shocked that I washed my hair as often as I do ( co washes inbetween shampoo day ) and that I don't dread getting my hair wet.

I almost forgot to mention that my coworkers who are not black are fascinated by my hair and change since I've been taking care of it. I've grown my hair from ear length to almost apl since I stopped going to salons. I get comments on how lucky I am to have thick hair. Imagine that...

 

[nisemac]

On the other hand I have never seen Asians with severely damaged hair. Mostly just BW and WW.

Naw, they're messed up out here too. there's a lot of 'dyeing and frying' out here in Asia too. out of the 30 million in Beijing, its only older men and women that i see with black hair-most dye it "tea color". they also get perms in order to hold styles and soften the natural coarseness of their hair. there's a lot of curling and flat ironing too. oh, and lets not forget the poodle/afro perms--i see LOTS of old ladies with this.

even more than equating the issue to race, women as a whole, continue to try to fit/be some image that totally goes against what they are.

 

[Cendra]

You're totally right, OP. I never really looked at *others'* hair until I was approaching APL, when I started to feel like my hair could be considered long. That's when I realized that many of them have damaged, over-processed, thinning hair.....and that in some cases, may hair was actually longer than theirs, never thought I'd see THAT day!

Would've loved to have seen you spooning along the walkway! LOL.

Ladies,

A few of you have commented on protective styling. Could it be that back in the day women's work was more manual and therefore, protecting one's hair was just the norm? They needed to keep it out of the way to chase the kids, tend to gardens, their homes, churn the butter, etc?

 

[Cendra]

Naw, they're messed up out here too. there's a lot of 'dyeing and frying' out here in Asia too. out of the 30 million in Beijing, its only older men and women that i see with black hair-most dye it "tea color". they also get perms in order to hold styles and soften the natural coarseness of their hair. there's a lot of curling and flat ironing too. oh, and lets not forget the poodle/afro perms--i see LOTS of old ladies with this.

even more than equating the issue to race, women as a whole, continue to try to fit/be some image that totally goes against what they are.

That's interesting, I always thought that light skin and straight hair were considered most beautiful in Asian culture. I'm surprised that women are interested in perms, I thought they'd be more into lightening/streaks.

 

[yorkpatties]

A few of you have commented on protective styling. Could it be that back in the day women's work was more manual and therefore, protecting one's hair was just the norm? They needed to keep it out of the way to chase the kids, tend to gardens, their homes, churn the butter, etc?

Good point. And hair was also done up on special occasions. I imagine only the wealthy folk saw a hairstylists on a weekly basis. Most chicks these days see their hairstylists weekly, and the results obviously aren't that good.

 

[mdcitygurl]

I can remember my grandmother getting her hair pressed. Doing her own hot oil treatments by heating up castle oil on the stove, and deep conditioning with mayo.

Back in the day hair was mostly chemically-free...that hot comb was smokin, but no chemicals. A beautician talked my grandma into relaxers to make my hair easier for school.

 

[nisemac]

That's interesting, I always thought that light skin and straight hair were considered most beautiful in Asian culture. I'm surprised that women are interested in perms, I thought they'd be more into lightening/streaks.

light skin reigns but the hair is more complicated. if they have a natural wave/curl or the hair is really coarse, they want it straighter. if its extremely straight, they want to be able to curl it. i haven't seen much highlighting, be see lots of overall lightening. haven't really seen any ladies with the classic jet black straight hair. romantic curls are in, so you see lots of clip on extensions. just past shoulder or APL.

 

[all_1_length]

@OP, yes I have come to realize the exact same thing, that the perception that WW have it easier with their hair is a LIE! Maybe in its' natural state it is easier to care for but I think that many people are dissatisfied with the type of hair that they have no matter who they are thus they have the situations that you described in your post.

I wouldn't say we have been bamboozled. Too many have unrealistic expectations about other races and their hair. we need to stop trying to fit into their hair categories and worry about our own hair. Not all mixed women have long hair and not all white/ hispanics have long hair. It's just a perception I hear all the time. If you are 100% black, you can't have long hair mentality. It's like people are stuck with the School Daze mentality.

ITA with the second half of your post. We do need to focus more on ourselves and what works for us, that way we can't be led around by every fad and bandwagon that comes on the scene. But I believe because of all the racism and negative perceptions of black hair we have been led to believe that "other" races have it better than we do and that their hair is more desirable than ours. If it weren't for LHCF opening my eyes to the truth about us and the diversity of our hair I'd probably still be believing the same thing right now.

 

[empressri]

Anyone that abuses their hair....should expect their hair to run away from their scalp screaming and crying.

But I tried to tell my peeps about that hair color...edges and napes are getting shorter and shorter yet no one is listening to me. I'd taken care of my hair and is still broke every time I colored it. No mas.

 

[My Friend]

Anyone that abuses their hair....should expect their hair to run away from their scalp screaming and crying.

But I tried to tell my peeps about that hair color...edges and napes are getting shorter and shorter yet no one is listening to me. I'd taken care of my hair and is still broke every time I colored it. No mas.

'cause of styles like this..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=endscreen&NR=1&v=YLBVKB5pHcg

 

[FroFab]

^^^ I can't.

 

[longhairdreaming]

'cause of styles like this..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=endscreen&NR=1&v=YLBVKB5pHcg

OMG what is that erplexed??? I can't process that hair and those nails .

 

[Kn0ttyByNatur3]

This whole topic is sooo true. Them WW and their near transparent blonde hair in those lil' baby nub ponies, dark roots showing clear as day kills me.


but you can't tell'em nothing....

 

[sylver2]

its rare that i see a ww with thick lustrous hair. when i do..its never a blonde one. when i was little i wanted long flowing hair like Becky & Katie. they could cut and grow long within the month. wash & dry & didn't take 4 hrs, no scarves etc. yup i didn't notice until some years ago that their hair is hardly desirable. thin, wispy, static, oily/greasy after a day, broken off pieces. i so appreciate & love my own hair. opposite of when i was a child.

 

[My Friend]

^^^ I can't.

OMG what is that erplexed??? I can't process that hair and those nails .

FroFab
longhairdreaming

I wonder where she works.....

 

[FroFab]

I don't know My Friend but I am pre-judging her and guessing at any number of "activities" that can bring her money. First among them is probably a Drug Dealer...heck she might even been a Queen Pin

 

[lolascurls]

Today at work, I was standing behind a lady and was really surprised by the fact that she had hair extensions haphazardly attached to her roots (with obvious white covers over the join).
The hair at the ends were snagged and thin looking too.
It matched her hair colour....that's the best I can say about it!

 

[PureSilver]

I guess the grass really isn't greener on the other side of the fence. Even though I never wanted "their" hair, I always thought that they had an easier time at preventing damage.

The grass is greener where one waters it. I've always wanted long hair, now that i'm natural and APL straightened, i too no longer yearn for what i can learn to water myself and have it looking better than "miss jones".

 

[BostonMaria]

I think many people believe the hype.

I was people watching in Manhattan city a few weeks ago and noticed that most women, of all races, keep their hair APL or shorter. It could be just a preference; however, I even noticed it at work. Most of my colleagues have had their had at the same length for several years. Some even have gone shorter or the years.

When I'm walking around I have noticed that 90% of the time I am the woman with the longest hair. Especially at work. Mind you I also work with Asian and Indian women. Makes me wonder if my hair is maybe too long and if I should cut it.

 

[Cendra]

Good point. And hair was also done up on special occasions. I imagine only the wealthy folk saw a hairstylists on a weekly basis. Most chicks these days see their hairstylists weekly, and the results obviously aren't that good.

Exactly. Most women these days with long hair rarely put it up. All the brushing up against necks and clothing will leave their ends drier and weaker.

 

[yorkpatties]

'cause of styles like this..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=endscreen&NR=1&v=YLBVKB5pHcg

THIS VIDEO NEEDS ITS OWN THREAD.

If someone really loved her they'd tell her about LHCF.

 

[BostonMaria]

THIS VIDEO NEEDS ITS OWN THREAD.

If someone really loved her they'd tell her about LHCF.

Ahhaaha Hey its Haiti again. She's always got some crazy lacefront on.

ETA: If Lady Gaga or Nicki Minaj had this LF on everyone would think it was "cool" LOL

 

[Anakinsmomma]

Today at work, I was standing behind a lady and was really surprised by the fact that she had hair extensions haphazardly attached to her roots (with obvious white covers over the join).
The hair at the ends were snagged and thin looking too.
It matched her hair colour....that's the best I can say about it!

Yea, those extensions get just as worn out as there hair sometimes.

 

[Anakinsmomma]

When I'm walking around I have noticed that 90% of the time I am the woman with the longest hair. Especially at work. Mind you I also work with Asian and Indian women. Makes me wonder if my hair is maybe too long and if I should cut it.

Don't cut it!!! Your one of my hair idols!

 

[pattyr5]

@pattyr5 Are your mom and sis white?

No, my mom and sis are hispanic....my hair is afro textured like my fathers.