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Been natural and relaxed...what have you learned??

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Which have you been in your adult life?

  • I've only been relaxed/texlaxed, and that's the way I plan to stay

    Votes: 15 4.6%

  • I've only been relaxed/texlaxed, and I want to try being natural.

    Votes: 35 10.7%

  • I've only been natural, and that's the way I plan to stay.

    Votes: 4 1.2%

  • I've only been natural, and I want to try being relaxed/texlaxed.

    Votes: 3 0.9%

  • I've been both and I love both.

    Votes: 59 18.1%

  • I've been both, and I like being natural better.

    Votes: 155 47.5%

  • I've been both and I like being relaxed/texlaxed better.

    Votes: 55 16.9%
  • Total voters
    326
  • Poll closed .
I prefer being natural. My hair is much healthier in this state... Relaxers were not my my hair, as it is thin, fragile, and does not like abuse....
 
I definetly love my natural hair more than my relaxed! Although it takes abt 2 or 3 hrs to style it... I enjoy doing it. I love every curl, kink, and coil...not to mention the shine and thickness. Plus I think my twa suits me...I've neva received so many compliments on my hair till now :grin:.

But with natural hair u have 2 keep up on maintence and styling or it will begin to tangle and matt up. I also have to put in conditioners to keep it soft or WHOOSH lol.But overall its really simple becuz i'm rocking and working my texure and my hair is feeling that so its easy to manage.
 
I've been both, and its weird because i voted for "love both" BUT i also like being natural better:lachen:

I like straight hair and i LOVE my curls. I know i only have 4in of hair but I have never felt this way in my life before..like my hair is the sh:drunk:t! I feel like my hair loves me. I feel like my hair is my child:lachen:I have ALWAYS been into hair but not as much. i use to say "whateva" to naturals who were all about being natural and natural products, i use to like straightening my hair..now i cant even bare blow drying it:nono:

Im always looking around at ppls heads:lachen: Im always searching for stuff that will make my hair even healthier. I had kinky twist in for 2 WEEKS only because i missed my hair:nuts: So what im trying to say is, I love my natural hair more,more,more,more!!!!
 
I have been both on different occasions. I like relaxed hair better; I especially loved the volume I got when I used phyto as a relaxer. I am natural now and would love to stay natural but who knows what I will do tomorrow. As a natural, my hair is too short for certain styles and since I do not like twists, I am limited to braids or styles using heat which is time consuming. It is frustrating at times but I know I would miss the beauty of my natural hair, especially when it's just washed and the roots look so pretty. I would hate to relax again because I absolutely hate to feel the difference between my new growth and the relaxed part. That used to drive me crazy.
 
been relaxed for 2-3 years of my life and hated it. It's just too much work for me. I like having the option of not combing my hair and it still looks good (at least to me).
 
i've been both... and I prefer natural hair... its not has time consuming for me. I just get up.. cowash... slap some gel in it and go..when i was relaxed.. I had to worry about not getting my hair wet..(I walked out in the rain today and LOVED IT). I also had to worry about how I was going to style it, split ends and breakage. I hated getting touchups.. I love my curls and cant wait until I do some puffs and funky fros... I would try to do some textured styles with my relaxed hair and it would always come out a HAM to me.. just didnt look like the real thing.... so I chose the real thing! :)
 
I've learned a lot of the "adjustment" of dealing with natural hair is done on the inside
I was in better physical shape, due to not having to make time for hair care - just wash and go.
The relaxer just gives me the big hair look that I like.
I learned that a lot of folks get personally offended at how nappy my hair is and did not want me to wear it out in public. In that way, naps are a filter. I don't need ignorant folks like that in my space. :giggle:
 
delitefulmane said:
JColiy what do you do to prevent breakage while stretching? My sis has started to strecth her relaxers but I don't know what to tell her to do to combat breakage.
Click to expand...

The best tip I have is to only comb your new growth while it is wet and full of conditioner or leave in. The rest of the time - leave it alone.

Direct her to Sylver2's fotki. I retain length by bunning, but I know most folks wanna wear their hair down and Sylver's got that on lock.
 
Ditto to Shan 2001.

I was both but I like to be natural. My hair is extremely thin when straight. I prefer the volume.
 
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I was natural for until about age 22, my dad insisted I stay natural as a child. I learned that both take a lot of work either way. However, my hair grows better relaxed because its more manageable and I've learned that I cannot pile on products and hope for a miracle with either. I wish I'd found LHCF when I was natural because I was quite rough with my hair back then. I will probably go back natural when I'm older.
 
I was relaxed on and off from ages 13-22. From 23 t0 28 I was completely natural. However, I never did anything but keep my hair in a ponytail or straighten for big events. I never took care of my hair either way. I relaxed again last year and I'll keep it up until I'm about 40 and go natural again. I want to be completely natural with waist length hair by 50.
 
This is an awesome thread! I've learned a lot from your posts! Keep it coming, ladies!:yep:
 
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I've been both and now that i know how to care for my natural hair thats how i want to stay. When i was relaxed it was gorgeous when freshly applied but i had such bad hair practices i used to wonder why i was losing hair on each touch up. Plus my stylist would overlap to ensure all my hair was straight hence the reason i chopped it all off in 2005 and started again!

I still drool over beautiful relaxed heads of hair and sometimes i want that.

But i love the versatility of my natural hair and if i want to be straight (Thank you Sabino!!!) i can , happy in the knowledge that on wash day my curls will be right there!

Both natural and relaxed hair require care and attention, now that i am well into my natural journey thats where i want to stay! Don't quote me just in case i do change my mind and relax in a year!!!!! :lachen:
 
Nya33 said:
Both natural and relaxed hair require care and attention, now that i am well into my natural journey thats where i want to stay! Don't quote me just in case i do change my mind and relax in a year!!!!! :lachen:
Click to expand...

Right!! That was me!! :lachen:
 
Nya33 said:
Oh snap! Well your hair is gorgeous btw. If i do relax i have no excuses in not maintaining healthy hair.
Click to expand...

Exactly!!! That's another reason that I wasn't afraid to do it anymore. I was like, at least I'll know how to care for relaxed hair now. :yep:
 
I have been both. The thing I like least about being natural was the tangles/knots and styling challenges. I only had 1-2 natural styles that I could wear that I felt looked attractive. Many styles actually highlighted my flaws, and I came to a point where I could no longer stomach the idea of braids or weave.

The thing I like least about having a relaxer is the upkeep between all of the protein treatments, relaxer retouches, and general hassle. Styling is easier though. My hair has grown much longer than ever before in my life, and it is relatively "healthy."
 
CAPlush said:
I have been both. The thing I like least about being natural was the tangles/knots and styling challenges. I only had 1-2 natural styles that I could wear that I felt looked attractive. Many styles actually highlighted my flaws, and I came to a point where I could no longer stomach the idea of braids or weave.

The thing I like least about having a relaxer is the upkeep between all of the protein treatments, relaxer retouches, and general hassle. Styling is easier though. My hair has grown much longer than ever before in my life, and it is relatively "healthy."
Click to expand...

So, are you currently relaxed?
 
I've learned how to make my natural hair look relaxed. :D


ETA with rollers and minimal heat.
 
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I have been both and I enjoyed being both. I relaxed my hair when I was 18. I only relaxed my hair twice a year. 4 yrs ago I decide to attempt being natural. I completely cut off all of my relaxed ends 2 yrs ago.

I've learned that both choices requires moisture, protein, and care. I learned that each option renders different styles, but all the styles are unique.

I love both styles. I put more work into my natural hair rather than my relaxed hair. Since I did the bkt treatment, my time spent with my natural hair has been reduced.
 
I've been both, multiple times. My conclusion: Neither is inherently better than the other. Both have their positive and negative points. It's all a matter of personal preference. Do what works for you.
 
I have been both and I like being natural better. I have learned that it is important to know what your hair is like in its natural state, so if you decide to be relax, you have a better understanding of your hair as a whole. If I would have really known that my hair is not really the same texture all around, it would have save me alot of headache. I have learned that it takes the same amount of energy for both, its just what fits the person.
 
i have been both. i have only been natural for lamost 2 months now but i love my natural hair more. its easier to take care of to me because when i was relaxed i didnt relax but 2-3 times a year anyway so i had to constantly handle two different textures. it didnt bother me much until i wanted to go natural and realized all the heat damage even though i always used 2 forms or heat protectant.
 
I've been both, and I like being natural better. :yep:

My hair is stronger now!

The only thing I miss is not having to deal with as much shrinkage. I have over 4 inches of hair, but it looks like I have 1 inch.
 
Did the relaxer thing for 5, then 3 years. It was just hair for me then :ohwell:. If I went back there would be things I would do differently if I wanted it longer.

It's been 10 years and I LOVE my natural hair, no contest for me, no goin' back! My hair is my art project, my entertainment, my crowning glory, etc, now. I'm not sure if I could feel that way about my hair if it was straight but can't imagine finding out, esp now that I have found this forum.
 
I've been both, and I like being natural better. You can do so much more without have to worry about protein treatments and damage.
 
Me tooo!!! I never knew other people felt like this. I would constantly touch my new growth. Even though I enjoyed my straight hair, the new growth made me long for natural hair. I basically felt like it should be one or the other. I hated the two textures.
Mystic said:
I have been both on different occasions. I like relaxed hair better; I especially loved the volume I got when I used phyto as a relaxer. I am natural now and would love to stay natural but who knows what I will do tomorrow. As a natural, my hair is too short for certain styles and since I do not like twists, I am limited to braids or styles using heat which is time consuming. It is frustrating at times but I know I would miss the beauty of my natural hair, especially when it's just washed and the roots look so pretty. I would hate to relax again because I absolutely hate to feel the difference between my new growth and the relaxed part. That used to drive me crazy.
Click to expand...
 
I've been both and I like being natural better.

I have learned that my hair straight natural, and my hair straight relaxed are two completely different things. With a relaxer I could wash my hair, use minimal products, and have hair that blew in the wind no matter how humid it was (unless I had new growth). When I was natural however, I could wash my hair, use minimal products and have hair that blew in the wind....unless it was humid. If it was humid the curliest part of my hair (the crown) would immediately get wavy and puffy ruining my sleek style. I refused to press my hair with a comb because I didn't want to damage the curls, but I got inpatient in the Lousiana sun and texturized. All to have hair that didn't revert as quickly.

My natural hair was much easier to take care of, I didn't have knots, I had a routine and my hair was in great shape. Now here I am transitioning for the umpteenth time because I want my length, but I want my curls. If I had stayed natural I wouldn't even be going through this. I mean it still takes the same amount of time to do my hair natural or relaxed, but with natural I don't see as many pieces of hair in my sink or on the floor.
 
My story - I've been both. I had relaxed hair for most of my adult life and transitioned to natural back in 2001. But because there weren't networks and sites like this one (which I love to pieces), I didn't know how to properly care for my hair. Out of boredom and frustration, I started to get my hair straightened - worst mistake. My advice to ladies with natural hair is to be VERY careful using a straigtening comb. I will never do it again. I would and have used flat irons (with and w/o protective products) and have never experienced heat damage. Okay, back to the topic, I ended up with serious, serious heat and non maintenance damage (I also wore kinky twist constantly for two years) so I ended up relxaxing.

I relaxed thinking it would solve my hair damage - of course it did not. I still to this day, have very thin ends on the left side of my hair AND noticeably (at least to me) less strands of hair. I'm hoping that by massaging my hair at night (this seems like the best remedy) while applying oil, will bring results.

In conclusion I like both and up to a few days ago was thinking of foregoing my current transition but after finding this site with tons of info, I think I can get the best of both words (straight and kinky) while staying natural.

The things I need to learn are
How to properly 'straigthen' (using a flatiron or other tools not a straigthening comb) i.e, proper techniques and tools. Any suggestions would be appreciated? What types of heat protectants are best to use?

This is a great thread BTW.

Oh yeah Ladies, I have two other questions, since I'm a newbie, what is 'ETA' and 'BKT'?
 
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