Was I wrong for not saying anything...?

[needshealthnlength]

Ok So I was at my boyfriend house and his lil sister (16) was about to relax the lil girls hair from next door. Now the mother of the three little girls had some company over if you know what I mean. I think that is why she let my bf lil sister do there hair just to get them out the house. Ok So after she finished relaxing the first little girl hair she callled me upstairs because she wanted me to wash the relaxer out of the girl hair. Now this is when it gets bad my bf lil sis had slapped on the relaxer as if it was conditioner erplexed......from root to end.....She also ran a fine tooth comb forcefully through the hair .......You should have seen alll that hair in the comb The little girls had long beautiful hair .......and after it was a dry tangled surely they loss some hair but I cant tell...They where already relaxed so there was no point of putting the relaxer from root to tip..........I wanted to say something so bad but She is the type that thinks she knows it all so I didnt even bother was I wrong???????????????????? By the way she didnt even put conditioner in there hair after she was finish relaxing there hair

 

[Chevelure618]

I would've told the mother "did you want the relaxer run through the whole head or just the new growth?" and see what she said after that.

 

[Je Ne Sais Quoi]

You should have said something!!! You let that baby hairs get ruined and didn't utter one word And the mother is trifling for allowing a minor/non beautician to apply chemicals to her childs hair. Oh well, glad it's not my baby

 

[Kacie]

I would have done the same as you, kept my mouth closed. If you say something in front of the little girl she may tell her mom, her mom may get mad at you, on and on.

 

[WaistLengthDreams]

Wow, that's a shame. I think you could have said something to the little sister, even if she's confrontational by nature. Maybe you could have made a suggestion to her without telling her she was doing it all wrong. Now that we know better we've got to do our part to stop the cycle of bad hair care!

 

[C@ssandr@]

You shouldve said thats not a good idea. But you can't blame yourself for what your bf's sister did. the mother trusted homegirl with her baby's hair so now they'll have to deal with it. If the drama goes down you'll have nothing to do with it.

 

[BlackMasterPiece]

I would have definitely said something, and I wouldn't have cared what she thought of me, those are little girls, I can't let that slide

First of all little girls shouldn't be forced to wear permanent styles in their hair in the first place smh what a mess.......

 

[msa]

I definitely think you should have said something. Those were teachable moments.

 

[C@ssandr@]

You can't be mad at her. We all know how folks can be. I agree, if she opened her mouth then she might've ended up involved in ways she didn't want to be.

 

[gissellr78]

Well. If i were you i would've told her how to do it properly...got on online and found a tutorial. but is done and is not your child. It is sad but hey tell her for the next retouch if you want..but don't stress over it because is done.

 

[dyh080]

Ok So I was at my boyfriend house and his lil sister (16) was about to relax the lil girls hair from next door. Now the mother of the three little girls had some company over if you know what I mean. I think that is why she let my bf lil sister do there hair just to get them out the house. Ok So after she finished relaxing the first little girl hair she callled me upstairs because she wanted me to wash the relaxer out of the girl hair. Now this is when it gets bad my bf lil sis had slapped on the relaxer as if it was conditioner erplexed......from root to end.....She also ran a fine tooth comb forcefully through the hair .......You should have seen alll that hair in the comb The little girls had long beautiful hair .......and after it was a dry tangled surely they loss some hair but I cant tell...They where already relaxed so there was no point of putting the relaxer from root to tip..........I wanted to say something so bad but She is the type that thinks she knows it all so I didnt even bother was I wrong???????????????????? By the way she didnt even put conditioner in there hair after she was finish relaxing there hair

You're post was very difficult to read with all of the spelling and language errors.

 

[needshealthnlength]

I just felt like it wasn't my place....then again if I would have said something I dont think it would have changed her opinion on how she think it should be done but idk : (

 

[topnotch1010]

I think you did the right thing, stay out of it. I might have casually mentioned it but that's as far as I would have went. I don't think the criticism would have been received well anyway. Besides, what mother let's a 16 y.o. relax a childs hair without supervision?!?! She must not care too much. Unfortunate situation.

 

[CaribbeanQueen]

I would have said something. A relaxer is a strong chemical. She could have ended up with scalp damage, hair loss etc...

 

[msa]

I just felt like it wasn't my place....then again if I would have said something I dont think it would have changed her opinion on how she think it should be done but idk : (

The point isn't necessarily to change her opinion, but just to put the information out there. And she was 16, it's not like she's a grown woman. If I see a child (who shouldn't be allowed to have chemicals in the first place) doing something wrong, I say something if it's appropriate. In this situation, it definitely would have been appropriate.

And since she asked you to wash the relaxer out you could have taken that time to say "where's some conditioner? it's really important to condition the hair after it's relaxed and it makes combing much easier". And then you could have showed her how to condition and detangle the little girl's hair.

If you had said something to her, maybe she would have changed her mind, you never know. When you know better, you do better.

 

[LiberianGirl]

Yes, very.......

 

[claudia05]

Probably, but what about the next time? She'd go on doing the same old things. I'm pretty sure the relaxer kit comes with instructions advising to only apply on the newgrowth.

 

[Kacie]

You're post was very difficult to read with all of the spelling and language errors.

What about your "language" error?

 

[jamaraa]

Unless you were willing (even if it didn't turn out to be necessary) to take some responsibility for this kid's hair, you did the right thing. I'm old enough to know that when you open your mouth, you must be willing to accept any and all consequences that come from what you say. While this situation you described is far less than ideal, it was the parent's call and they have full responsibility because she's a kid. When it comes to family dynamics, you never know what you're stepping into.

 

[msa]

What about your "language" error?

 

[Je Ne Sais Quoi]

What about your "language" error?

Thank you for saying this. All I could do was shake my head.

 

[topnotch1010]

I just felt like it wasn't my place....then again if I would have said something I dont think it would have changed her opinion on how she think it should be done but idk : (

That's what I've learned over the years. Unless someone specifically asks for help or your opinion, they don't want it and it will not be received well. It wasn't your place.

 

[wannabelong]

I think you should have informed the 16 year old girl how to properly apply a relaxer so hopefully she'll do it correctly the next time.

 

[ajacks]

I understand your hesitation to interfere, but I would have said something anyway. Besides, the mother of the little girls is the one that really needs some guidance.

 

[needshealthnlength]

I mean im not really that older than her im 18 so...but I get where your coming from

I think you should have informed the 16 year old girl how to properly apply a relaxer so hopefully she'll do it correctly the next time.

 

[msa]

I'm surprised at how many grown women (with hair care knowledge) see a problem with telling a 16 year old to only relax the new growth...or to comb more gently...or to put some conditioner on the little girls hair.

 

[msa]

I mean im not really that older than her im 18 so...but I get where your coming from

No you're not much older than her so I can see why that may have been uncomfortable. But when she asked you to wash the relaxer out did you? If so, couldn't you have said something then? She obviously didn't mind involving you in the process.

 

[needshealthnlength]

Yeah I washed it out and asked her if she had any conditioner n she said no but I did offer her my wide tooth comberplexed

 

[msa]

Yeah I washed it out and asked her if she had any conditioner n she said no but I did offer her my wide tooth comberplexed

Well that's good. At least you tried to do something.

 

[jamaraa]

I'm surprised at how many grown women (with hair care knowledge) see a problem with telling a 16 year old to only relax the new growth...or to comb more gently...or to put some conditioner on the little girls hair.

The problem is, that isn't your/our kid. We don't know anything about these people and the OP does. Obviously she felt she couldn't say something and there's probably a good reason why.