Vacation Hijacked By MIL - Reddit

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I Planned a 2-Week Vacation With My Husband but My Mother-In-Law Threatened To Call the Police, Threw Temper Tantrums and Showed Up at the Airport. (msn.com)

Having a good relationship with your in-laws can be difficult. Sometimes, it can be really challenging.

On social media, one user talked about her relationship with her husband’s mother and how it caused a big problem in her marriage.

The original poster (OP) said that right from the start, her mother-in-law would say mean things and compare her to others.

Things got worse when OP and her husband planned a two-week trip abroad. OP had saved up and organized the trip, while her husband was in charge of booking the tickets.

When OP’s mother-in-law found out about the trip, she threw temper tantrums, calling, texting, and sending people to talk to OP to try to convince her to let her come along. The mother-in-law even threatened to call the police and make up a complaint if she couldn’t come.

OP put her foot down, and even though her husband was initially keen to bring his mother along, he eventually relented and agreed to leave her behind.

However, when they arrived at the airport, OP was surprised to see the mother-in-law waiting with her luggage in tow.

Things went downhill fast. OP was extremely upset and left the airport, despite her husband’s protests. They had a huge blowout fight, and OP's husband blamed her for ruining everything.

OP's own family was no help. Their view was that OP should have kept her cool and enjoyed her trip the best she could have.


Vacation Hijacked? Boundaries Crossed?

As the Reddit community weighed in on the situation, many were quick to point out that OP’s husband was at fault.

One user, PeanutButter_Toast_, even went so far as to suggest that OP should consider divorce.

“You had your boundaries, you said no. She crossed it. Your husband told you he would tell her no, but he lied. He tried to pin you in a corner by not saying anything and bringing her anyways and got upset that you refused to be a part of his little trap? And then to berate you?? He's not a good man. He needs to go.”

Other users echoed similar sentiments, with Material_Cellist4133 suggesting that OP should cut her losses and move on.

“He lacks a backbone and the ability to stand by your side,” the user wrote.

Another user, PolyPolyam suggested that OP could have handled the situation differently by changing her ticket and going on the trip alone.

"Sometimes the divorce card needs to come out. And this is one of them. Only part of this I don’t agree with… OP should have gone to the ticket booth, and gotten her ticket changed for anywhere else. And gone to enjoy herself alone. Let the husband and his mother have their romantic time together because it sounds like he married his mother."

Shelballama suggested that OP may have a husband problem in addition to a mother-in-law problem.

"She has a MIL but also a husband problem. If they have a shared account and I were her, I’d pull the full price of his and my ticket back into my personal account. I’d have his shi* in boxes outside the door. The divorce lawyer would have been my call on the way home. I cannot believe his nerve."

RubyLarkspur87 also pointed out that OP’s husband was in the wrong, saying, “He gave you an ultimatum- no loving partner would ever put you in that position.”

RubyLarkspur87 further wrote.

“He's a mummy's boy, and she's manipulative and toxic. You have every right to enjoy a holiday with your husband without them behaving like children. You did the right thing. The next right thing to do is leave. He doesn't respect you.”

Secondrat agreed, stating that they would be looking to leave the marriage if they were in OP's shoes. The user commented:

“Hubby lied to you and put his mother before you? I’d be looking to get out of that marriage. That would be a deal breaker for me.”


The Verdict

Overall, the comments on the social media post highlighted the importance of setting boundaries and communicating effectively in relationships.

OP’s situation is not unique, and many people struggle with difficult in-laws.

However, what sets this situation apart is the way OP’s husband handled it. He lied to her, went behind her back, and put his mother’s desires before his wife’s.

So, according to commenters, this is not a healthy dynamic, and it is clear that OP needs to take steps to protect herself and her happiness. Even if that means considering divorce.
 
I Planned a 2-Week Vacation With My Husband but My Mother-In-Law Threatened To Call the Police, Threw Temper Tantrums and Showed Up at the Airport. (msn.com)

Having a good relationship with your in-laws can be difficult. Sometimes, it can be really challenging.

On social media, one user talked about her relationship with her husband’s mother and how it caused a big problem in her marriage.

The original poster (OP) said that right from the start, her mother-in-law would say mean things and compare her to others.

Things got worse when OP and her husband planned a two-week trip abroad. OP had saved up and organized the trip, while her husband was in charge of booking the tickets.

When OP’s mother-in-law found out about the trip, she threw temper tantrums, calling, texting, and sending people to talk to OP to try to convince her to let her come along. The mother-in-law even threatened to call the police and make up a complaint if she couldn’t come.

OP put her foot down, and even though her husband was initially keen to bring his mother along, he eventually relented and agreed to leave her behind.

However, when they arrived at the airport, OP was surprised to see the mother-in-law waiting with her luggage in tow.

Things went downhill fast. OP was extremely upset and left the airport, despite her husband’s protests. They had a huge blowout fight, and OP's husband blamed her for ruining everything.

OP's own family was no help. Their view was that OP should have kept her cool and enjoyed her trip the best she could have.


Vacation Hijacked? Boundaries Crossed?

As the Reddit community weighed in on the situation, many were quick to point out that OP’s husband was at fault.

One user, PeanutButter_Toast_, even went so far as to suggest that OP should consider divorce.

“You had your boundaries, you said no. She crossed it. Your husband told you he would tell her no, but he lied. He tried to pin you in a corner by not saying anything and bringing her anyways and got upset that you refused to be a part of his little trap? And then to berate you?? He's not a good man. He needs to go.”

Other users echoed similar sentiments, with Material_Cellist4133 suggesting that OP should cut her losses and move on.

“He lacks a backbone and the ability to stand by your side,” the user wrote.

Another user, PolyPolyam suggested that OP could have handled the situation differently by changing her ticket and going on the trip alone.

"Sometimes the divorce card needs to come out. And this is one of them. Only part of this I don’t agree with… OP should have gone to the ticket booth, and gotten her ticket changed for anywhere else. And gone to enjoy herself alone. Let the husband and his mother have their romantic time together because it sounds like he married his mother."

Shelballama suggested that OP may have a husband problem in addition to a mother-in-law problem.

"She has a MIL but also a husband problem. If they have a shared account and I were her, I’d pull the full price of his and my ticket back into my personal account. I’d have his shi* in boxes outside the door. The divorce lawyer would have been my call on the way home. I cannot believe his nerve."

RubyLarkspur87 also pointed out that OP’s husband was in the wrong, saying, “He gave you an ultimatum- no loving partner would ever put you in that position.”

RubyLarkspur87 further wrote.

“He's a mummy's boy, and she's manipulative and toxic. You have every right to enjoy a holiday with your husband without them behaving like children. You did the right thing. The next right thing to do is leave. He doesn't respect you.”

Secondrat agreed, stating that they would be looking to leave the marriage if they were in OP's shoes. The user commented:

“Hubby lied to you and put his mother before you? I’d be looking to get out of that marriage. That would be a deal breaker for me.”


The Verdict

Overall, the comments on the social media post highlighted the importance of setting boundaries and communicating effectively in relationships.

OP’s situation is not unique, and many people struggle with difficult in-laws.

However, what sets this situation apart is the way OP’s husband handled it. He lied to her, went behind her back, and put his mother’s desires before his wife’s.

So, according to commenters, this is not a healthy dynamic, and it is clear that OP needs to take steps to protect herself and her happiness. Even if that means considering divorce.

I see there are a lot of gaslighters and weak people with no backbone in this world including the husband and OP's family.

There's no reason that the MIL needed nor should go on vacation with just them two (unless she's coming to babysit).

I would not have left the airport. The MIL would be the one leaving. I would be appalled offended in disbelief that my husband gave his mother all the information of the trip and insisted to let her come along after I said no. (Even if she didn't say no, boundaries are still being crossed)
He and I would be done if he didn't see the problem with this situation. He chose his mother

The trip was already ruined before it started. I wouldn't be able to look at my husband the same way. I agree with all the comments in the OP. The whole situation is disrespectful especially the MIL saying she will call the police.

Try Jesus not me cause I throw hands :lachen:
( I don't throw hands but baby this would be a time to reconsider)
 
DH and I did couples counseling before we got engaged because I afraid situations like this would happen if appropriate boundaries were not set with my MIL and I was not signing up for that. When it happened I'd dip out, which sent DH running to make me happy and I got what I wanted and DH let his mom know the new rules of engagement. :look:

In this situation the problem is the husband. I'm betting this isn't the first time MIL's done something like this. The husband isn't going to change. OP has to decide whether to live with it or cut him loose.
 
Definitely. I read the original OP. Not only did he not take his wife's side during any of this, he booked the moms ticket behind her back. And the fact that he refused to tell her mom was coming before they arrived at the airport makes me think he was planning on footing all the bills for mom. So while she had to do all the saving and planning, mom was literally going to be giving orders and relaxing. And this of course was going to upset the OP even more which in turn would have the mom moping and placing more blame.
 
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