Tyra's black hair special...

[JenBenCal]

Oh lord. I'm watching this as of right now but could Tyra have chosen any NORMAL relaxed women to represent on the panel?? I couldn't believe that girl said that her relaxed hair was good hair because she "had that white girl flow". I mean, these girls REALLY felt as though because their hair was "straighter" that they were better than women with natural hair! That's terrible! I'm relaxed but darn, it's a lifestyle choice, not so I can look like a white woman! And I certainly don't feel "better" than anybody and I miss my natural texture all the time. Then ole girl started getting in on the natural woman who wore dreads and got on her about her "nappiness" and crap. WHYY why whyy does this happen? If yall haven't watched this already, yall should.

 

[beans4reezy]

That's why I don't like her show. She always seems to find the most inarticulate, bumble bee brained, neck twitching Black women to put on her show; there never seems to be postive representations of blacks on her panels.

I caught a glimpse of one of her socially compelling (sarcasm of course) shows on the light skin and dark skin debates and almost threw up hearing some of the ignorance coming out of our people's mouths.

 

[darlingdiva]

I TRY to hang in there w/ Tyra, but she really does deserve to be bashed for some of the comments that people make on the show.

I know a guy who was on her show & he told me that the producers and the guests review what they're going to say on the show. Then the producers edit it in a way so that it'll seem more "interesting."

 

[aquajoyice]

I think Tyra put a poor panel of women up there to represent each preferred hair style. No one talks like that "white girl" flow. But one thing I have realized about Tyra which is why I no longer watch her show is she is so quick to put on people that have some level of self-hatred. She had another show with women of different ethnic groups that wanted to have white features... if not just flat out stated they wanted to be white. And I think this is more of a reflection of Tyra than the majority of people in the world. She even admitted to why she wears weaves and it is a level of self-hatred. I just hate that she is airing this like it represents the masses, I haven't met too many AA that stated they hate who they are

 

[Neith]

That's why I don't like her show. She always seems to find the most inarticulate, bumble bee brained, neck twitching Black women to put on her show; there never seems to be postive representations of blacks on her panels.

I caught a glimpse of one of her socially compelling (sarcasm of course) shows on the light skin and dark skin debates and almost threw up hearing some of the ignorance coming out of our people's mouths.

I've learned that a surprising number of people ARE actually like that.

Not everyone, but there are a lot of ignorant people and people with DEEP COLOR ISSUES out there.

So... they do represent a rather large group of people... so sad to say... but everybody isn't smart and a heck of a lot of people have racial issues on some level.

I don't watch Tyra all that much though, so I can't really say for myself what the typical guest is...

 

[JenBenCal]

I know a guy who was on her show & he told me that the producers and the guests review what they're going to say on the show. Then the producers edit it in a way so that it'll seem more "interesting."

I can't believe that. Of course. Content doesn't matter; just so long as her show pulls in enough ratings. So annoying.

I think Tyra put a poor panel of women up there to represent each preferred hair style. No one talks like that "white girl" flow. But one thing I have realized about Tyra which is why I no longer watch her show is she is so quick to put on people that have some level of self-hatred. She had another show with women of different ethnic groups that wanted to have white features... if not just flat out stated they wanted to be white. And I think this is more of a reflection of Tyra than the majority of people in the world. She even admitted to why she wears weaves and it is a level of self-hatred. I just hate that she is airing this like it represents the masses, I haven't met too many AA that stated they hate who they are

I COMPLETELY agree with you! I watched another special she did on homosexuality and christianity and she put up these Christians that spouted all this stuff about "you're going to hell!" etc. Not ALL Christians think like that and it just makes us look like over-religious zealots! She has a knack for picking those "extreme" people.

I caught a glimpse of one of her socially compelling (sarcasm of course) shows on the light skin and dark skin debates and almost threw up hearing some of the ignorance coming out of our people's mouths.

Yes, I'm about two seconds from throwing up myself right now

 

[jasmin]

All Tyra does in the end is make white women feel great about themselves even more.

 

[ladylibra]

They may represent the minority, but those people really do exist. I know. My grandma is one of them. And it all starts somewhere. Thank God her issues didn't get passed on to me, is all I have to say.

Everybody who straightens their hair wants "swang," that in and of itself isn't a bad thing. But when you phrase it as "white girl flow," you're making a statement that Caucasian hair is the ideal beauty standard you're struggling to fit into.

I like that the show sheds some light on things that some people don't even realize are hidden in the dark recesses of their pysche. It's like with racism. Some people are out-and-out racists... others are but are sort of in denial about why they feel tense when a person of color is walking behind them at night. After all, they have that one black friend... they're not racist just because they made a bad joke about Jews. Sometimes exposing the truth gives people a chance to recognize an issue, allow them to think about it and make a change when they realize it's something negative.

I dunno, just my random 2 cents.

Tyra may not be the best at tackling these issues, but until someone else starts doing it and doing it better... shoot at least she's trying. Everyone else just sweeps it under the rug.

 

[JenBenCal]

Ladylibra, I completely understand what you're saying. It's just difficult being a relaxed woman and hearing other relaxed ladies say such things. It brings the stereotype around that somehow relaxed women think that their "better" than others and by no means do I wish to have to deal with such a ridiculous stereotype. I do realize that there are people like that out there though and, you're right, Tyra is definitely TRYING to shed some light on it and that is a very positive thing. Overall, the segment wasn't terrible, but I wished there was more of a balance between the different types of mindsets from women with different hairstyles.

 

[ladylibra]

Ladylibra, I completely understand what you're saying. It's just difficult being a relaxed woman and hearing other relaxed ladies say such things. It brings the stereotype around that somehow relaxed women think that their "better" than others and by no means do I wish to have to deal with such a ridiculous stereotype. I do realize that there are people like that out there though and, you're right, Tyra is definitely TRYING to shed some light on it and that is a very positive thing. Overall, the segment wasn't terrible, but I wished there was more of a balance between the different types of mindsets from women with different hairstyles.

Oh, ITA with you on that! I've only been natural for 4.5 years. I was relaxed for 16 years. And never in that 16 years was I anti-nap, wanna-be white or any of that mess. If I were still relaxing today, I'd be the same LL that y'all know. I've always been "pro-black" and "afrocentric" and all those other supposedly scary buzzwords.

*Oh, the other thing I forgot to mention. These doggone shows are staged, edited, and they screen the people they want to use. I used to love makeover shows when I was younger... until I discovered that the contestants purposely dress frumpy and look disheveled so that their made-over look is more dramatic. Then I found out about a certain show that does paternity test drama actually paid a friend of mine who was in the audience to pretend to be the father-in-question, because the actual guy was MIA at the time of the taping. erplexed

Sorry, getting off topic...

 

[darlingdiva]

It may be hard to believe, but there are some REALLY ignorant people out there who say some REALLY dumb stuff. One guy who was in my grad program is a good example of this.

Dumb comment #1: "When I ride on the train, I wave at the black people so they'll be comfortable seeing me in their neighborhood."
(FOOL, we see white people in "our" neigborhood all the time; no one needs you to wave to feel comfortable with your presence.)

Dumb comment #2: "Is it true that black girls wear shower caps in the shower?"
(They're called "shower caps" for a reason, aren't they?)

 

[SweetSpirit86]

I get what you're saying, but I feel a lot of women come down really hard on Tyra for OTHER people's ignorance. You know how fake people can be. How do we know what goes on during the screenings for these people? How do we know whether or not they act one way during the screening, and another during the taping? The reality is that there are a vast amount of relaxed black women who DO feel their hair is "better" because it's relaxed, and attribute their "good hair" to it. Think of how many threads we see a week from some rude woman (who almost always happens to be relaxed) jeering, and sucking her teeth at others about their hair. We're just blessed to know a lot of women through this board who don't have enough sense to know better.

Instead of getting upset about the relaxed women's issues, I was more upset that there was only one representative (1 of 3...why not 4 to be even?) for natural women...and that one mouthy relaxed broad wouldn't shut up long enough for her to really speak. Either way, I'm just going to shut up...this is an old episode, and I feel myself getting heated again, lmao.

 

[Bluetopia]

Ok so she's supposed to be going commando (i.e., without a wig or weave) on September 8th and its been widely speculated that it's in support of Chris Rock's new movie.

What I find fascinating is how Trya is so clearly in a state of dis-ease about her weave/wig usage & sometimes even apologizes for it like her own version of White guilt.

Reality Check: You can be comfortable in your skin AND accessorize however you like. Weaves or perms dont automatically make you un-enlightened. Just like rocking a natural or locs isnt neccesarily synonymous with self acceptance.

Ur internal dialogue is the root of self love. Not how much new growth you got! I hope moving forward - her show focuses more on unpacking assumptions rather than just revealing them and perpetuating them further (which is what I feel she's ended up doing in previous attempts)

There's a level of balance that Tyra often unwittingly misses in her female empowerment antics....

To say "Hey all you girls with perms - you are beautiful. All you girls who are natural - you are beautiful. Being beautiful means doing what feels right for you and respecting what works for others" ....now THAT is a powerful msg -.....regardless of if she herself is rocking a lacefront or not.

I mean these shows can't just continue to be about Tyra examing her own issues and assuming everyone carries her same baggage. erplexed

Bringing in some level headed/moderate thinking folks in to highlight something other than cliche'd extremes she tends to rely on, could probably help her heal some too.

Otherwise wouldnt it be easier for her to just get a therapist??

I'm just saying *shrugs*

 

[JenBenCal]

It may be hard to believe, but there are some REALLY ignorant people out there who say some REALLY dumb stuff. One guy who was in my grad program is a good example of this.

Dumb comment #1: "When I ride on the train, I wave at the black people so they'll be comfortable seeing me in their neighborhood."
(FOOL, we see white people in "our" neigborhood all the time; no one needs you to wave to feel comfortable with your presence.)

Dumb comment #2: "Is it true that black girls wear shower caps in the shower?"
(They're called "shower caps" for a reason, aren't they?)

LMAO ! I laughed so hard at these. I can't believe he even said that!

Ok so she's supposed to be going commando (i.e., without a wig or weave) on September 8th and its been widely speculated that it's in support of Chris Rock's new movie.

What I find fascinating is how Trya is so clearly in a state of dis-ease about her weave/wig usage & sometimes even apologizes for it like her own version of White guilt.

Reality Check: You can be comfortable in your skin AND accessorize however you like. Weaves or perms dont automatically make you un-enlightened. Just like rocking a natural or locs isnt neccesarily synonymous with self acceptance.

Ur internal dialogue is the root of self love. Not how much new growth you got! I hope moving forward - her show focuses more on unpacking assumptions rather than just revealing them and perpetuating them further (which is what I feel she's ended up doing in previous attempts)

There's a level of balance that Tyra often unwittingly misses in her female empowerment antics....

To say "Hey all you girls with perms - you are beautiful. All you girls who are natural - you are beautiful. Being beautiful means doing what feels right for you and respecting what works for others" ....now THAT is a powerful msg -.....regardless of if she herself is rocking a lacefront or not.

I mean these shows can't just continue to be about Tyra examing her own issues and assuming everyone carries her same baggage. erplexed

Bringing in some level headed/moderate thinking folks in to highlight something other than cliche'd extremes she tends to rely on, could probably help her heal some too.

Otherwise wouldnt it be easier for her to just get a therapist??

I'm just saying *shrugs*

Can I just say that your comment is the bomb.com! . I wish Tyra had said something like this on her show. I think with the last two women she certainly tried to bring that out just a bit, but SO much of the show seemed to be focused on the negative. But I still do love me some Tyra, just not sure her producers know how to make the best calls.

 

[SweetSpirit86]

LMAO ! I laughed so hard at these. I can't believe he even said that!



Can I just say that your comment is the bomb.com! . I wish Tyra had said something like this on her show. I think with the last two women she certainly tried to bring that out just a bit, but SO much of the show seemed to be focused on the negative. But I still do love me some Tyra, just not sure her producers know how to make the best calls.

Agreed.

 

[Bluetopia]

LMAO ! I laughed so hard at these. I can't believe he even said that!



Can I just say that your comment is the bomb.com! . I wish Tyra had said something like this on her show. I think with the last two women she certainly tried to bring that out just a bit, but SO much of the show seemed to be focused on the negative. But I still do love me some Tyra, just not sure her producers know how to make the best calls.

oh-em-gee!! i havent heard bomb.com since I was in college (circa the late 90's) lol

On the extreme flip side of Tyra is Wendy Williams who is quick to say on her show that a wig aint nothing more than an accessory and she will pull the front of her wig up to show folks it isnt hers in a quick second.

I know some folks arent fans of Wendy Williams...but I prefer (and respect) a woman who is at peace with her choices.

The hair doesnt make the woman...it just enhances or detracts from who you already are depending on how you rock it.

 

[melodies815]

It may be hard to believe, but there are some REALLY ignorant people out there who say some REALLY dumb stuff. One guy who was in my grad program is a good example of this.

Dumb comment #1: "When I ride on the train, I wave at the black people so they'll be comfortable seeing me in their neighborhood."
(FOOL, we see white people in "our" neigborhood all the time; no one needs you to wave to feel comfortable with your presence.)

Dumb comment #2: "Is it true that black girls wear shower caps in the shower?"
(They're called "shower caps" for a reason, aren't they?)

Ummmm.. they are called "shower caps," not "black girl shower caps."

I know that's not all that saved, but that's probably what I would say with the best smile and the sweetest tone of voice.

My stepdad said to me this week that he was concerned with me building a business and not looking all that professional. Here is the conversation:

Me: I had on a business dress. How did I not look professional?
Him: Your hair is a part of your dress.
Me: No it's not. It's my hair...and I style it according to the occasion. That's why I wore a pretty band and did not wear it "out" with no restraint. I understood that I was attending a business meeting.
Him: Well, I am just concerned that you should look professional if you want to win business at that level.
Me: I think you think that natural hair is unprofessional and that is just not true. I am just wearing my own natural hair the way that God made it. I don't think I should have to put chemicals in my hair and do what is unhealthy for me in order to be successful. I don't have issues with a relaxer for other women because I used to have one myself...but I don't want chemicals in my hair any longer.
Him: I'm old-school. You just have to be patient with me.
Me: I am patient. But I don't agree that old school is correct-school. I like my hair, and anyone who does business with me will listen to my expertise and see my clothing and will choose based on the value of my offer....not based on my hair.
Him: I understand. I remember going through the whole pro-black thing.
Me: (Outraged but quiet) Poppi...this is not about being black. Its just about being me and about being comfy in my own skin...not having to straighten my hair in order to feel like I fit in. No big deal. It's not a political statement. It's just my hair.
Him: I love you, Christi. I just want the best for you.
Me: I love you too, Poppi. (I let the conversation end and changed the conversation to some bloopers I had heard recently.)

I do think that these attitudes are long-held or older-generation-held that if you have kinky/coily hair you are not doing your best to assimilate and willbe less successful that your straight-haired counterparts. It makes me sad that they do not think correctly that however you wear your ethnic hair (relaxed or natural) is not a character assessment but just a matter of choice....

...but in the end, I don't care.

I won the account - Duke University.

...with my afro.

To Gd be the glory and goodbye.


cj