I gave her a warning

[LifeafterLHCF]

Your so nice depending on my mood I would have:hardslap:...I think white people are intrigued by black women...this why white men worship blk women in Europe and white women are so concerned with our hair...I have a few questions for white women..but that for another day..

 

[BostonMaria]

Wow just wow

I really wish that Regina Kim's documentary "My nappy roots" got more publicity and nationwide release on the big screen. I do belive that Chris Rock did copy it after seeing another trailer of My nappy roots she showed the Bonner Brothers hair show, there was historical reference, there was talk about the Indian hair industry. Celebs were talking about how the love the verstility of afro textured hair.

I downloaded a little bit of Good Hair and it's just weaves and relaxes and not a lot of where the actual term "good hair" came from which you think would be there since the movie is called "good hair."

My nappy roots videos
http://www.youtube.com/user/regikim

Wow! I can definitely see why she is suing Chris Rock!!! I haven't seen the Good Hair movie yet, but I can already see the similarities.

 

[Kiynwah]

I was at work talking to another girl (Caucasian) who'd said she was watching the Tyra show. She'd seen the episode Tyra did on hair recently.

I was telling her that Tyra wore a lot of wigs, which for some reason she did not catch from the show but now she is wearing her real hair, yada yada.

Another AA lady (with a relaxed asymmetrical bob) came near us sweeping the floor and the girl I'm talking to turns to her and asks her out of the blue without a hello or anything "Are you wearing a wig today?"

Other lady gives a quick "no" while I try to catch myself from falling off the counter I was leaning on.

Girl: Well, is your hair relaxed or is that your natural hair?
Lady: (trying to sweep as fast as she could and get out of our area) I relax it.
Girl: You shouldn't do that, it damages it.
Me: Don't you bleach your hair?
Girl: Yeah...
Me: (smiling) You shouldn't do that, it damages it.

The other lady had left at the point and I don't blame her.

I turned to the girl and said: "You really don't need to ask anybody if they're wearing their real hair, you are lucky you asked her instead of someone else. People get really sensitive about that. Don't you watch Oprah?"

I then proceeded to tell her about how Oprah gave a warning on her show to white people not to ask black women if their hair was real.

She has also referred to my hair as "nappy" in the past and I took that opportunity to also say that while I did not mind it, that she probably shouldn't call any other AA women's hair "nappy". I know "nappy" is a fighting word for a lot of people.

This person is someone who's kind of blunt anyway, but ignorance on a subject and being blunt do not mix

You would think all of these shows and movies about black hair would've improved knowledge on the subject but things just seem to be getting worst. Everyone seems misinformed. I've had two people ask me why my natural hair doesn't look like Tyra's "natural" hair.

Getting a little sick of it all.

I just saw this coming with the Good Hair movie and Tyra, Oprah and Dr. Oz all 'popularizing' black women's relax-weave-wig-"nappy" hair issues!!! You could just tell this was the kind of thing that would start happening!! Instead of making other women more sensitive, it's made them more bold and quite frankly RUDE about asking. I seriously need to work up a line that say, "none of your business" in a politer way. Suggestions anyone? How do you all respond to these annoying questions.

 

[FluffyRed]

i'm glad you warned her. she's gonna run across a gutter rat one day and get cut askin questions like that.​

Just the image of her getting her future beatdown has me rollin' - Rude heifer!!

she than fixed her mouth to say "you cant be natural, your hair isnt nappy. my daughter is half black and has good hair, which is curlier than yours." being at work i couldnt let the inner hood rat out and just smiled and said "1st off, please dont use the words "nappy" or "good hair" in my presence as i am allergic to the incorrect use of these words. 2nd, not all black people have the same hair texture there for your daughters curl pattern has zero to do with my hair"

what made this worse is white girl had a black home girl that joined the "convo" by this time who also decided to insist i relaxed. i just told them i have a class to train and that i dont have time for section 8 discussion and walked my happy tail away. .

 

[Kiynwah]

Wow! I can definitely see why she is suing Chris Rock!!! I haven't seen the Good Hair movie yet, but I can already see the similarities.

I saw the movie and looking at these trailers there is almost identical overlap on so many issues. Its incredible. I think good hair could have taken a MUCH more comprehensive approach and talked more about natural hair beyond showing how the Chinese store owner didn't want to buy the Afro-textured wig.

PS - Did anyone else find the store owners' comment in that scene IRONIC when Chris rock tried to sell him the afro wig? "No like Africa. They want straight!! The women want straight! It look more natural!" erplexed

 

[MangaManiac]

Oh man, this reminds me of a scene back in my younger days when I had 0 tolerance for rude people...

Middle aged WW: "Oh, you're hair is so nice and straight! You relax it don't you?"
Me: "Oh, you're upper lip is so smooth! You wax it don't you?"

Boy, that lady was mad that a little girl said something like that, but my mother just smiled and laughed herself silly when we got home!

 

[darlingdiva]

IA, that was so rude. Even among white people themselves when they suspect one of them is wearing a wig, I don't think they just straight up ask if the hair is real like that. If they do have to ask, it'll be done discreetly. I don't see why she felt she had the right to speak to that lady like that. I'm sorry, but watching Tyra or Chris Rock's movie doesn't give you permission to do a damn thing .

THANK YOU!!!!

Some people still don't understand this.

 

[Blessed_Angel]

Wow, at how you handled that. I am amazed at how you and the lady who was sweeping up kept your cool. It is so hard to not freak out when clears disrespect us (even if it is unintentional).

By you telling her so calm and collected, she is more likely to remember and heed your words. (I hope!)

I totally agree...I too hope she heeds your words.

 

[Barbara]

I think they are curious and just want a confirmation. My coworker asked about my hair only because she heard a few stereotypes about us, and she didn't believe them.

 

[southerncitygirl]

400+ yrs of being this country and white folks still aren't trying to learn anything about us acting like we're some damn animals in the zoo. Why can't they get that we don't speak for every black person all over the world

 

[washize]

400+ yrs of being this country and white folks still aren't trying to learn anything about us acting like we're some damn animals in the zoo. Why can't they get that we don't speak for every black person all over the world

agreed

 

[Shay72]

When did talk show hosts and comedians become educators, seriously? Tyra just made it worse when she came out with her "natural" hair.

 

[DozenRoses99]

Unfortunately, I think that Tyra confused a lot of people with the announcement of her revealing her 'natural' hair.

(ETA: ^^^ It looks like we are thinking the same thing at the same time. LOL)

 

[destine2grow]

You handled the situation better than I would have. It is a lot of ignorant peoplebin the world. I don't need to run into any, it never ends nice.

 

[empressri]

Let her ask some hood chick that question. Once she picks her zza up off the floor I betcha she won't ask anyone anything again!

 

[DarkVictory]

^^^ When she tries that on the wrong person and gets screamed on, it won't hurt her feelings. She'll just chalk it up to how irrational, overly-sensitive and huffy black folks are.

IMO that's what some of these question-asking chicken-hearted fools want (not necessarily saying that's true of your co-worker, OP).

"I just asked an innocent little air-head question and she hit me with her SCARYANGRYNEGRITUDE!"

When they ask hair questions trying to start something, I turn it around on them.

"Oh, you like Tyra, too? Isn't it amazing the way her whole approach to collective media dialogue relates directly to post-feminist cultural appropriation, especially as parallels both string theory AND free jazz based hip-hop harmonics?" (or whatever other %$^@ I can make up on the fly.)

They don't talk to me after that.

 

[ActionActress]

I guess people are still learning about AA hair....

**Shrugs**

Give them time.

I like your thinking. But it is sad that we can be more familiar with their hair, than they of ours. Sometimes we know more of their hair than our own!!

With the hair movies, it depends on what the information is. People may be misinformed because the people doing the teaching are misinformed.

 

[ActionActress]

ive had ww ask me questions about my hair but they seem like they really want to know and its coming from a nice place. i got one ww at my job(who is just the sweetest person) to start wearing her curly hair. when i cut all my hair off she was so fascinated with the fact that i wanted to wear my natural hiar. she said she straightened her hair several times a week because she was told by an older friend that she couldnt get a good job with her hair. i told her her curls were beautiful and she should wear them(i had ever even seen her curl before) and since then she has been wearing her hair curl. she will stop by my desk just to say "you know, im starting to really like my hair like this".

some people really are curious and other are just stupid. how dare you have no class. urgh i just get so angry sometimes.

I am with you on this. Curly hair is beautiful and many WW have curly hair. But they on some level have been told it was not the way to go, perhaps a hair revolution is underway?

 

[*Muffin*]

The road to wisdom is a rough and bumpy one. She'll get there. I believe she had good intentions, but she need not pretend that just because she learned a tid-bit of info about AA hair that she is an expert on the subject. I had a caucasian guy friend who learned about relaxers and that black people usually have curly hair and he looked at me one day and said "you relaxed your hair, didn't you". A bit surprised, I was like "I have relaxed, but not recently". Then he asserted: "I know you did because I remember your hair was curly in high school". Confused, I said "Umm...I've been relaxing my hair for longer than that". Poor guy had to change the subject .

 

[ActionActress]

i once had a white girl ask me what kind of relaxer i used so she could get it for her daughter. i raised an eyebrow as i didnt know this chick aside from seeing her in the break room at work. i told her i dont relax my hair, that i'm natural. she than fixed her mouth to say "you cant be natural, your hair isnt nappy. my daughter is half black and has good hair, which is curlier than yours." being at work i couldnt let the inner hood rat out and just smiled and said "1st off, please dont use the words "nappy" or "good hair" in my presence as i am allergic to the incorrect use of these words. 2nd, not all black people have the same hair texture there for your daughters curl pattern has zero to do with my hair"

what made this worse is white girl had a black home girl that joined the "convo" by this time who also decided to insist i relaxed. i just told them i have a class to train and that i dont have time for section 8 discussion and walked my happy tail away. i used to still see them in the break room every so often (giving me the side eye) but i havent seen them in a while so i assume they are no longer employed at my establishment.

these are the same *****s that got in trouble taking food from another dept pot luck lol so they aint all there

I wonder how she feels about her black partners hair???

 

[ActionActress]

Your so nice depending on my mood I would have:hardslap:...I think white people are intrigued by black women...this why white men worship blk women in Europe and white women are so concerned with our hair...I have a few questions for white women..but that for another day..

Well I certainly know there is a MUCH higher respect for BW in Europe, I wanna go back badly. It is nice to be told that you are NOT the ugliest, mumbo-jumbo alive. Instead of always being looked over by supposedly one's own.

I will say there is much freedom for me being natural as lots of men from many backgrounds enjoy seeing something different for a change other than always on the straight side.

 

[SweetSpirit86]

You know...I don't think the majority of these incidents are even ignorance anymore. I feel like all this is, is another door for snotty white girls to try to poke fun on some high horse mess. I mean, how rude do you have to be to think it's okay to walk up to a perfect stranger and ask them something like that? That's right up there with going up to a British person and asking them if they've ever brushed their teeth, or walking up to some girl and asking if she's wearing clean underwear. Common sense isn't so common? The level of insensitivity some people harbor now is baffling to say the least.

 

[ANUBIS]

You know...I don't think the majority of these incidents are even ignorance anymore. I feel like all this is, is another door for snotty white girls to try to poke fun on some high horse mess. I mean, how rude do you have to be to think it's okay to walk up to a perfect stranger and ask them something like that? That's right up there with going up to a British person and asking them if they've ever brushed their teeth, or walking up to some girl and asking if she's wearing clean underwear. Common sense isn't so common? The level of insensitivity some people harbor now is baffling to say the least.

I was thinking this same thing...it's like they feel entitled to say some bs like that to us or like they feel they are better than us and need to "educate" us ignant negroes. You know since we are all self haters and wish we were all white and had that beautiful swingy white girl hair...thnx tyra

 

[TreecyTresses]

As far as our melanin-deficient counterparts are concerned, their interest in the black woman's naturality always seems to be the prelude for them soon after copying our style

i.e.,

them: why is your skin so dark, are you dirty?
us: i love my skin
them > making appointment at tanning salon

them: why are your lips so big?
us: i love my lips
them > injecting fat in their lips

them: why is your butt so big?
us: i love my butt
them > purchasing butt enhancing undergarments

NOW...

them: is that your natural hair?
us: yes (or) no (or) don't worry about it
them > making appointments to get extensions (or) locking their hair (or) getting cornrows, etc... and best believe one day each of us will see our paler sisters rocking natural-looking weaves. mark my words lol

 

[lovenharmony]

If she asked me that, I would've looked right through her clear self like she wasn't there and K.I.M. I don't speak to anyone who doesn't greet me respectfully

 

[beans4reezy]

OP, you had an opportunity to educate and you did. Good for you!

 

[Kiynwah]

I had a caucasian guy friend who learned about relaxers and that black people usually have curly hair and he looked at me one day and said "you relaxed your hair, didn't you". A bit surprised, I was like "I have relaxed, but not recently". Then he asserted: "I know you did because I remember your hair was curly in high school". Confused, I said "Umm...I've been relaxing my hair for longer than that". Poor guy had to change the subject .

He probably confused you with someone else.. YOU know how we black folk all look the same.

 

[longhairlover]

I just wonder why are "they" so interested in what we do with our hair. What does it do for them knowing this? I don't care what they do to their hair, nor do I care to ask. So many women seem to be going through this with their "white" co-workers, friends and neighbors.
Why do whites feel like they just have to know everything about us our culture and our dang hair? Mind your business!!!!!

I have not run into this situation yet, I try to make sure I keep a certain look on my face (stanky face oh well) just to make sure a person is cautious on how they speak to me.

I did however have one associate latina on the job that made one comment that caused us not to be friends. She said to me "it's hard to keep my blowout fresh looking" I told her "wrap it at night or wear a scarf" this B says "that's for black girls" wtf!!!! I told her for her own safety she needs to head back to her desk.

In nyc you see chicks in the bx and harlem with their hair wrap yes even the latin ones, but of course the person that made the comment to me was from NJ (have had one bad situation with some out here than anywhere else just plain ignorant).

Hopefully with you putting her in her place she will never ask another AA woman a question about her hair.

 

[Mizz Diamonds]

As far as our melanin-deficient counterparts are concerned, their interest in the black woman's naturality always seems to be the prelude for them soon after copying our style

i.e.,

them: why is your skin so dark, are you dirty?
us: i love my skin
them > making appointment at tanning salon

them: why are your lips so big?
us: i love my lips
them > injecting fat in their lips

them: why is your butt so big?
us: i love my butt
them > purchasing butt enhancing undergarments

NOW...

them: is that your natural hair?
us: yes (or) no (or) don't worry about it
them > making appointments to get extensions (or) locking their hair (or) getting cornrows, etc... and best believe one day each of us will see our paler sisters rocking natural-looking weaves. mark my words lol

And that day has come