Transitioners support thread

[Cheleigh]

Ok, here is the dilemma: prom is coming up for me on May 13th and I do not know how I should style my hair. I am currently transitioning and I am 19 weeks post. I have cornrows now, but I do not know if I want to relax on May 13th or if I should just have my stylist press my hair. If I press my hair and I get on the dance floor, I will sweat out the press especially by the end of the dance, if not during the dance.
If I do that, it will look a mess for after-prom. By May 13th if I am still transitioning I will be 28 weeks, but if I relax that will be the longest stretch I have ever completed (7 months). I just saw a picture of Laila Ali and it made me think that I want to go back to getting relaxers and smooth edges(maybe every 6 months if I do).
So, the three questions I am asking are:
1. Should I continue transitioning and just have my hair styled with a press 'n curl or get a relaxer?
2. If I get a relaxer, should I go back to my old stylist (who I haven't seen since my last relaxer) who uses no-lye BUT ends up cutting my hair for trims OR should I use my current stylist who uses lye relaxers AND trims my hair (not even a 1/2" more like dustings). She is really gentle with my hair and is taking good care of my hair during this transition. I am still confused on the whole lye vs. no-lye relaxers.
3. If I get a relaxer, how should I style it? I know that I do not want something with gel. I am thinking maybe the Lisa Raye inspired updos or half up and half down. Any more ideas would be appreciated and if you have pictures please attach them to the message.

TIA

ITA w/so1913 about the micro braids--it's so cute for an updo. On np.com, there are a few other transitioning teens who were talking about what they were going to do for a prom hairstyle. I did an updo every year I went to the prom except my first one.

I know I'm an old fogey, and I don't know what goes on at a prom these days, but when I went to FOUR proms during my high school tenure, I didn't have to worry about dancing hard enough to sweat anything out--I was too busy making sure my feet weren't killing me in my 4" heels, that my dress didn't fall to my knees, and ensuring that my makeup stayed perfect and every hair was in place. I danced maybe TWO dances the entire night each year--and those were slow dances.

I think that prom is a fine time to press or straighten, because I just don't recall anyone getting their freak on at the prom (now after is a different story).

IF you want to continue to transition, now's the time to keep going--summer's comming up, which is an easier time to transition versus dealing with a new relaxer. I wish I'd had the foresight to transition back in HS or college--I'd had natural hair to my waist by now.

 

[KiSseS03]

I totally agree with the other ladies Dlene! You've already come so far in your transition, and it seems such a waste to relax your hair for one event (although I do understand how important prom is to you). Micros in an updo would be very cute, or if you really want straight hair I would go with the press (as long as you really protect your hair). Also like Cheleigh said summer is the perfect time to transition since you'll have more time to experiment with styles.. and you'll probably experience a growth spurt.

 

[czyfaith77]

Lee,maybe your hair was not meant to lay down, ya know? If you want to try something anyway, I would suggest you purchase a gel like Ampro,the brown stuff. Maybe it will work, maybe it won't.

I read on here that some of the ladies say that Elasta Qp Mango Butter laid their edges down really nice. I also read from one her interview's, Queen Latifah like to use carrot oil. She too is natural and to obtain straight hair styles she either presses or flat irons her hair. She has been natural for a while.

 

[Dlene]

Thank you so much ladies. I am really absorbing all of your suggestions and hints of advice. The thing with me and my micros is that I do not like the whole detangling post-braids. I think detangling my hair after taking micros is far worse than taking my hair down after singles, but braids never did cross my mind for prom until now. I may seriously consider doing that otherwise I will just get a press. Thank you so much ladies.

 

[mscounselor]

Ok ladies. I think I have hit a milestone. This week I tried flat twists and they weren't dry by the time I left the house. When I took them out the next day it look like a crazy mess. Normally I would try to rectify it to a "neat" looking style, but this time I just put on a head tie and walked out the door. What Im saying is I dealt with it with a different frame of mind. Im 21 weeks post and my mind is starting the transition too.
Just thought I'd share...Im off to wash and bantu knot my hair.
HHG!!

 

[Nanyanika]

i had some serious problems with matting last night not to mention how thick anf big my hair has become, once i get rid off the damage texturized ends, i'll get a relaxer and cut on my birthday. no more natural for me.

 

[Dlene]

What type of hair should I buy for micros?
Can I still use the crown and glory method when I am in the micros?

 

[angellazette]

Dlene, I used human hair for my micros. Zury brand

 

[angellazette]

Well my natural hair is incredibly thick and stretches to about the end of my neck. My cut is horrendous though lol and there's about another inch I think I need to cut so eventually I'll straighten it out.

 

[Cheleigh]

Cheleigh's update:

On March 11, I made one year post relaxer!

As you can see, I'm 19 days away from the BC (so, so happy), so yes, still transitioning, but finally in the twilight of my transition. I MIGHT try to do one last flatiron just for my LHCF ladies before I BC. I just don't know.

Congratulations Angellazette on your BC!!!!! I saw your photos, and your hair looks great. I think it's a really cute length (I better hope so--it's about the same length mine will be).

Edited to make my first sentence make any sense at all.

 

[angellazette]

lol thanks Cheleigh! I'm going to do a anothe cut in a month or so but this time I'm going to straighten it a little bit. It's just all kinds of uneven! Maybe about an inch...I updated my avi too!

 

[Parvathi]

Well ladies, I am no longer transitioning, because I DID THE BC! I cut 12-15 inches of relaxed ends last week Monday and got it professionally trimmed last week Thursday. I am now rocking a beautiful, very kinky and coily afro!!!!!!!!


Lord it was the best feeling! THE BEST!!! Now I begin my road to natural and I ain't turning back. I cannot WAIT to have long thick ponytails like back in the day before I relaxed.


Enjoy the journey to natural ladies. It truly is a BEAUTIFUL THING!

 

[so1913]

Well ladies, I am no longer transitioning, because I DID THE BC! I cut 12-15 inches of relaxed ends last week Monday and got it professionally trimmed last week Thursday. I am now rocking a beautiful, very kinky and coily afro!!!!!!!!


Lord it was the best feeling! THE BEST!!! Now I begin my road to natural and I ain't turning back. I cannot WAIT to have long thick ponytails like back in theh day before I relaxed.


Enjoy the journey to natural ladies. It truly is a BEAUTIFUL THING!

Yaaaaay!!! Congrats!!! Pics Pics!!! What feeling isn't it??

 

[Parvathi]

Yaaaaay!!! Congrats!!! Pics Pics!!! What feeling isn't it??

so1913 ,

You have been one of my inspirations during my journey to natural. Actually, I visited your album a few days back to figure out what you use in your hair since its thriving so well. Because of you I bought New Era 200 moisturizer and the Fantasia IC gel!

I also bought some Nature with Love products...jojoba oil, olive oil, shealoe butter, and aloe vera gel. Just something about being natural inspires you to start concocting your own products from home!

But you my dear, have been one of the many naturals on this board who have set the example for us who decided to think and do the impossible despite the discouragement from family, friends, and the media who do not support natural heads.

Thank you a million for encouraging me and others! You have disproved the claim that natural hair is unmanageable and lacks versatility. Reality is, its the BEST thing one can do for their hair!

Continue inspiring and encouraging sweety, and thanks for being here to support us!

P.S. Once I get a digicam, I'll put up pics ASAP. Expect them around May...I promise!

 

[Cheleigh]

Well ladies, I am no longer transitioning, because I DID THE BC! I cut 12-15 inches of relaxed ends last week Monday and got it professionally trimmed last week Thursday. I am now rocking a beautiful, very kinky and coily afro!!!!!!!!


Lord it was the best feeling! THE BEST!!! Now I begin my road to natural and I ain't turning back. I cannot WAIT to have long thick ponytails like back in the day before I relaxed.


Enjoy the journey to natural ladies. It truly is a BEAUTIFUL THING!

Yippeee! Congratulations. I am so happy that you are happy with your BC.

I just feel so much commonality with you, Angellazette, and so many other transitioners. I just realized that I will be also cutting off 15" of relaxed hair too!

I'm like so113--pic pretty please!

 

[angellazette]

I really need to try some Asha's now!

 

[Chinagem]

Dlene, have you ever considered a straight sew-in weave? I don't know if somebody else has already mentioned this because I didn't read all of the posts. I apologize if i'm repeating what others have already said.

 

[Cheleigh]

I really need to try some Asha's now!

Girl, I just went on a crazy hair spending spree and order the sample pack, in preparation for the BC. I also order from Qhemet, Oyin and got the blue fantasia and the smooth and shine curl activator. I am ordering from myhoneychild and then I'm done. All this stuff is embargoed until after the BC. Except the blue fantasia and S&S. I've already tried those on Friday. So sad to see my hair have all these tiny coffee stirrer spirals pop up top, and then a bun. It looked a mess.

 

[Parvathi]

I really need to try some Asha's now!

OMG...Don't mention her products...I'm trying not to overspend lol.

What are you interested in buying?? Any reviews on Shea What?!

I highly recommend Heavenly Pudding and Omega Oil...they are such great products!!!!


P.S. Congrats on the BC!!!!!!

 

[so1913]

so1913 ,

You have been one of my inspirations during my journey to natural. Actually, I visited your album a few days back to figure out what you use in your hair since its thriving so well. Because of you I bought New Era 200 moisturizer and the Fantasia IC gel!

I also bought some Nature with Love products...jojoba oil, olive oil, shealoe butter, and aloe vera gel. Just something about being natural inspires you to start concocting your own products from home!

But you my dear, have been one of the many naturals on this board who have set the example for us who decided to think and do the impossible despite the discouragement from family, friends, and the media who do not support natural heads.

Thank you a million for encouraging me and others! You have disproved the claim that natural hair is unmanageable and lacks versatility. Reality is, its the BEST thing one can do for their hair!

Continue inspiring and encouraging sweety, and thanks for being here to support us!

P.S. Once I get a digicam, I'll put up pics ASAP. Expect them around May...I promise!

Wow, thank you soooo much for the kind words! I've gotten soooo much advice and support from the ladies on this and other hairboards of the past and present for YEARS (both relaxed and natural) that I am only returning the favor the best way I can. I wish you great success on your natural journey. It is a wonderful decision to make. I will keeping my eye on you!

 

[angellazette]

Girl, I just went on a crazy hair spending spree and order the sample pack, in preparation for the BC. I also order from Qhemet, Oyin and got the blue fantasia and the smooth and shine curl activator. I am ordering from myhoneychild and then I'm done. All this stuff is embargoed until after the BC. Except the blue fantasia and S&S. I've already tried those on Friday. So sad to see my hair have all these tiny coffee stirrer spirals pop up top, and then a bun. It looked a mess.

Dang girl you are ready!
I'll probably try out Qhemet and Myhoneychild also.

 

[angellazette]

OMG...Don't mention her products...I'm trying not to overspend lol.

What are you interested in buying?? Any reviews on Shea What?!

I highly recommend Heavenly Pudding and Omega Oil...they are such great products!!!!


P.S. Congrats on the BC!!!!!!

I have nooooooo idea! I'm just going to order her sample pack! Yall have me excited now!

 

[Parvathi]

I have nooooooo idea! I'm just going to order her sample pack! Yall have me excited now!

OK

Well I just ordered the Sunkissed pomade, Heavenly Pudding, and Shea What?! butters...Reviews to come!!!

 

[Sweetcoco82]

Hey everyone,

I haven't check in for awhile. I dont knwo if i posted this or not, but i was having alot of breakage. I ended up cutting 7 inches off the back. My hair is alot healthier now. I miss the length but it had to go. I am going to order some products from myhoneychild soon. I have been buying loads of stuff at the BSS and nothing is working that great. So i am going to try something natural and see how that works. Where can i find Asha's products?

 

[Leslie_C]

I see Im not the only one who is scissor happy! I just cut 4 inches of relaxed ends off yesterday and I like it bc not iw looks thick all over and if I wear it out I could blend it well (braidout, etc).

Im 6 months into transitioning and Im just now figuring out what to do. With a few changes to my routine and a few products my hair changed overnight! It went from being so bad it was locking and matting and I couldnt comb it wet or dry without losing a ton of hair.....to being able to comb it wet and dry! The two best things that helped me were the k kutter and shea butter. Im gonna get a denman brush too. Im happy with my hair now. Im on the fence about relaxing exer again (part of me tends to think I would bc I could barely manage my relaxed hair in the humidity here) but a bigger part of me loves my natural hair no matter what anybody says. When I tell people Im growing out my relaxer, nobody is half as excited as me! They usually just say "WHY!?!?". Like its against the law.

Im loving my texture and the wavies/curlies when its wet. I love the thickness. And I always admired the ladies with cute relaxed styles (twistouts, braidouts, etc) and big fluffy hair! To me their beauty demands attention! And to me they have the best of both worlds. They can rock a fro or a puff, a wash n go, a twistout, or they can press/flat iron and look like they are relaxed. I love the versatility of it. Plus it is stronger than relaxed hair so it can take more stress without getting damaged (color, etc). Anyway I love this and I think even if ppl end up relaxing again, everyone should transition at least once in their life and get to know their natural hair texture.

 

[Dlene]

No, I haven't. Number one I do not care for weaves and the whole weave thing especially since I do not know much about it and what I have seen is that it looks a mess after a week or so and it tangles easily.
Number two I do not know if I can wash it and if I can how will it look? Will I be washing my hair as well as the weave or can the water just only reach the weave?
Number three I do not want the stylist or whoever will take my hair down to accidentally cut my hair with the string. I would be irate.

Thanks for the suggestion and no no one has mentioned this idea.

Dlene, have you ever considered a straight sew-in weave? I don't know if somebody else has already mentioned this because I didn't read all of the posts. I apologize if i'm repeating what others have already said.

 

[Leslie_C]

No, I haven't. Number one I do not care for weaves and the whole weave thing especially since I do not know much about it and what I have seen is that it looks a mess after a week or so and it tangles easily.
Number two I do not know if I can wash it and if I can how will it look? Will I be washing my hair as well as the weave or can the water just only reach the weave?
Number three I do not want the stylist or whoever will take my hair down to accidentally cut my hair with the string. I would be irate.

Thanks for the suggestion and no no one has mentioned this idea.

have u considered a lace front wig? they are the hottest thing right now and less detectable than a weave if applied correctly. The coolest thing is u can get them to where they can be parted anywhere on the unit and it looks just like a part in your own scalp. Its amazing how good they look....not wiggish at all (unless ppl get them too long and/or thick). Im waiting patiently for mine to arrive from China (lol)....I like the idea that my hair can rest and be protected, yet I can still get to it whenever I need to so I can treat it.

 

[onepraying]

Ok ladies. I think I have hit a milestone. This week I tried flat twists and they weren't dry by the time I left the house. When I took them out the next day it look like a crazy mess. Normally I would try to rectify it to a "neat" looking style, but this time I just put on a head tie and walked out the door. What Im saying is I dealt with it with a different frame of mind. Im 21 weeks post and my mind is starting the transition too.
Just thought I'd share...Im off to wash and bantu knot my hair.
HHG!!

Way to go mscounselor! That's exactly what's happening. We had gotten so used the to the neat and smooth relaxed hair that we just "can't handle" the unruly, honery, stubborn natural hair.... Well, I say, to anybody who doesn't like it. There will be days like that and we just take it in stride. This ole hair is NOT going to beat me!

Yesterday my hair was looking just a mess all day and I really didn't care, so after church, I went and bought some aloe vera gel a ponytail holder and smoothed everything into a ponytail. Sometimes you just have to make the best of it..carry an 'emergency kit'

Girl, you are on you way to a successful transition!

 

[onepraying]

i had some serious problems with matting last night not to mention how thick anf big my hair has become, once i get rid off the damage texturized ends, i'll get a relaxer and cut on my birthday. no more natural for me.

Wow are you serious? Sorry about your problems....You gave it, as we say in the US, the "old college try". When is your bday? Please post pics!

 

[onepraying]

Cheleigh's update:

On March 11, I made one year post relaxer!

As you can see, I'm 19 days away from the BC (so, so happy), so yes, still transitioning, but finally in the twilight of my transition. I MIGHT try to do one last flatiron just for my LHCF ladies before I BC. I just don't know.

Congratulations Angellazette on your BC!!!!! I saw your photos, and your hair looks great. I think it's a really cute length (I better hope so--it's about the same length mine will be).

Edited to make my first sentence make any sense at all.

Congrats Cheleigh! Please let us know when you post some pic updates of your progress.