Transitioners support thread

[caligirl]

Ladies, I'm getting really frustrated... I am about 7 months post relaxer into this transition trying to resist the BC... I have ALWAYS had healthy thick hair; ALWAYS. Until now. My hair is still healthy, but it doesn't seem as thick as it was (the relaxed portion). I had been wearing protective styles for the last 5-6 months, but really like wearing my hair down, so I had been either pressing with a ceramic iron (protective serum of course) and getting DBlowouts every now and then. This was only once a month.

Well, trying to do these conditioner washes/ every 2-day washes, etc, I had a tangled mess back in December and think I probably combed out half my hair!!!! I was really upset, but decided to press on. Well, recently, I went to visit a friend in MD and her hair has always been as think as mine and she's been transitioning for 2 yrs with only 2-3 inches of relaxed ends left. Her hair is BSL and it's GORGEOUS! She of course doesn't do anything magical, and I know she's pregnant right now, but her hair made my hair look like it's on CRACK!

My hair is starting to look thinner and thinner to me on the ends. What do you guys suggest? I'm resisting getting a relaxer, but right about now, it felt DEFINATELY easier than what I'm going through now. BTW, I'm transitioning because I want to have the option of wearing my natural hair. I love the straight look and am not transitioning to get away from that. I also am not a fan of braids because they seem to leave me even thinner.

TIA

Go head and get a trim. You'll cry at first, but then you'll feel better. Your hair WILL grow back .

 

[freedom]

Hey ladies,
Question for you. I'm really not sure if i'm transitioning or not. It sure does feel like it. I was 100% natural until I let my stylist put this paul mitchel color in it. I loved the color but it was so strong that my hair actually looked and felt like I had a perm. so now I have about 2-3 in. of natural and the rest colored,which is about another 2-3 in. What do you guys think? am I transitioning?

 

[shellzfoshizzle]

Ladies, I'm getting really frustrated... I am about 7 months post relaxer into this transition trying to resist the BC... I have ALWAYS had healthy thick hair; ALWAYS. Until now. My hair is still healthy, but it doesn't seem as thick as it was (the relaxed portion). I had been wearing protective styles for the last 5-6 months, but really like wearing my hair down, so I had been either pressing with a ceramic iron (protective serum of course) and getting DBlowouts every now and then. This was only once a month.

Well, trying to do these conditioner washes/ every 2-day washes, etc, I had a tangled mess back in December and think I probably combed out half my hair!!!! I was really upset, but decided to press on. Well, recently, I went to visit a friend in MD and her hair has always been as think as mine and she's been transitioning for 2 yrs with only 2-3 inches of relaxed ends left. Her hair is BSL and it's GORGEOUS! She of course doesn't do anything magical, and I know she's pregnant right now, but her hair made my hair look like it's on CRACK!

My hair is starting to look thinner and thinner to me on the ends. What do you guys suggest? I'm resisting getting a relaxer, but right about now, it felt DEFINATELY easier than what I'm going through now. BTW, I'm transitioning because I want to have the option of wearing my natural hair. I love the straight look and am not transitioning to get away from that. I also am not a fan of braids because they seem to leave me even thinner.

TIA

I think you should cut the relaxed ends off. If that's too much for you, then cut an inch off a month...do it gradually. Your natural hair is going to be so much thicker than the relaxed ends, no matter how healthy and thick the relaxed was before you decided to transition. Sounds like you are kind of confused about whether you should continue transitioning. What was your original intent for doing so? Was it to be chemical free? I think you should really think about why you are stretching/transitioning. Everyone's reasons are respectfully different though. You've come 7 months, by golly that's a long time. Most people give up by month 2 or so when it starts getting really bad. I know months 3-5 were hard (at least for me) with the shedding/breaking/detangling issues. It gets better. Trust me. I commend you for coming this far. I am 6, almost 7 months post, and I tell myself, "i've come this far, there ain't no goin back". I like the option of being able to wear my natural textured styles too (when I do become 100% natural) and then a straight style one day. But someone natural back me up if I am correct, you should use the heat (straightening) in moderation. I have read that some people's natural hair textures remained straight, and even thinned out.

hth

 

[beyondcute]

ITA with Shellz. Doing a mini chop is the only reason I have hair today! I couldnt take it but a minichop relieved soem of the weight and limp hair. An inch a month seems liek a good idea.

 

[FAMUDva]

I think you should cut the relaxed ends off. If that's too much for you, then cut an inch off a month...do it gradually. Your natural hair is going to be so much thicker than the relaxed ends, no matter how healthy and thick the relaxed was before you decided to transition. Sounds like you are kind of confused about whether you should continue transitioning. What was your original intent for doing so? Was it to be chemical free? I think you should really think about why you are stretching/transitioning. Everyone's reasons are respectfully different though. You've come 7 months, by golly that's a long time. Most people give up by month 2 or so when it starts getting really bad. I know months 3-5 were hard (at least for me) with the shedding/breaking/detangling issues. It gets better. Trust me. I commend you for coming this far. I am 6, almost 7 months post, and I tell myself, "i've come this far, there ain't no goin back". I like the option of being able to wear my natural textured styles too (when I do become 100% natural) and then a straight style one day. But someone natural back me up if I am correct, you should use the heat (straightening) in moderation. I have read that some people's natural hair textures remained straight, and even thinned out.

hth

Thanks for your comments. I am not interested in chopping off all my hair right now. It's not that I've never had short hair (had the Halle cut a while back), it's just that I prefer styles where I can pull my hair into a real pony tail when I choose to. I think it is time for a trim... So I will take that suggestion. The last trim was in Oct. 05 which was only 2-3 months into the transition.

As far as why I'm transitioning/ streching is because I don't want chemicals anymore. It's not because I don't want to straighten my hair. I have read all the posts about not straightening etc, but I feel like it didn't cause a problem years ago when I was un-relaxed, so I'm not too worried about it now. I do have a friend who has BSL hair (she's not on LHCF) and she straightens every 3 weeks and has been transitioning for over 2 yrs with no problem with hair natural hair reverting to curly when she wants, so I've been observing her as a real life role model so to speak. I do know that everyone's hair is completely different and I'm not even into the hair type thing, so I have no clue what my hair type is. I know that I have thick, coarse, medium spirals in the front and tighter in the back.

I really do appreciate ALL the comments and suggestions. You guys are so helpful and I know things will be fine... With the help of the sistas on LHCF .

 

[onepraying]

Thanks for your comments. I am not interested in chopping off all my hair right now. It's not that I've never had short hair (had the Halle cut a while back), it's just that I prefer styles where I can pull my hair into a real pony tail when I choose to. I think it is time for a trim... So I will take that suggestion. The last trim was in Oct. 05 which was only 2-3 months into the transition.............I have read all the posts about not straightening etc, but I feel like it didn't cause a problem years ago when I was un-relaxed, so I'm not too worried about it now. I do have a friend who has BSL hair (she's not on LHCF) and she straightens every 3 weeks and has been transitioning for over 2 yrs with no problem with hair natural hair reverting to curly when she wants, so I've been observing her as a real life role model so to speak. I do know that everyone's hair is completely different and I'm not even into the hair type thing, so I have no clue what my hair type is. I know that I have thick, coarse, medium spirals in the front and tighter in the back.

I really do appreciate ALL the comments and suggestions. You guys are so helpful and I know things will be fine... With the help of the sistas on LHCF .

Hey girl

It's your perogative, if you don't want to cut then don't. I'm transtioning without cutting or trimming.

The relaxed hair is going to appear thinner and sickly looking against the lush curly natural hair. It's just a very stark difference.

Take a look at my Fotki. I did a lot of bantu knot out puffs and different styles to blend the two textures.

If you are having problems with the detangling, you may want to wash in lots of sections. Example, if you are already washing in sections like say 4, then make about 6 sections. Find you a new or different detangler or different technique. I don't know what you are doing right now, but I generally airdry in a bun, then I'll do a braidout or bantu knot out etc. That way, I'm not handling my wet hair too much.

You can also alternate between pressed hair and textured styles.

I'm glad your friend is doing so well in her transition. I had a friend that transitioned and pressed every two weeks for 2 years, needless to say she had lots of breakage and retained NO length...I told her, pressing like that just isn't for everybody. She ended up relaxing...If you say you had no problems pressing in the past, go for it!

hth

~op~

 

[blazingthru]

Its 21 weeks for me, its been a nightmare dealing with the two textures and having something to do with my hair it was finally long enough for a pony tail and I went and got a phony pony for a while but then i got tired of it and besides my scalp was to sensitive to be pulled back all day I guess from almost 6 months of not doing any kind of pulling to it. Anyway I started doing mini trims on the top mostly so that when I am ready to do the big chop it wont' hurt as much most of my relaxed hair will be gone, The top has the most amount of hair. I say mini trims but I cut 1.5 inches off. I haven't touched the sides my hair was close cut down so its not likely I will have more then an inch to cut off the sides anyway but they are short and I am not ready to go there completely yet. I haven't mastered the twist yet and I want to do it I am going to a show next weekend and I wanted to sport my new almost completely natural look but I haven't found anyone that can do natural hair for cheap because thats is where its at right now in philly. THis is what I am thinking about doing, getting my hair tightly spirled rodded up and having a pieice put in the back for length and spirling that in rods as well. I am just scared that I will look a mess and waste my money. Is aloe vera gel good for the twist? anyone know. I am sorry this post is forever long and i read up to 8 and had to skip the last few I am at work

 

[FAMUDva]

Thanks OnePraying! It's not too bad yet, but it's thinner than I'm used to. You can see in my Avatar what my hair looks like now straightened. That was just a month ago. Y'all are just so helpful!

 

[Nightingale]

Caligirl, your avatar is my goal too!

 

[onepraying]

Its 21 weeks for me................. Is aloe vera gel good for the twist? anyone know. I am sorry this post is forever long and i read up to 8 and had to skip the last few I am at work

Congrats on making it to 21 weeks girl!

I've heard that coconut oil or ORS twist and lock creme is good for twists too. I would think the aloe vera gel will curl you hair up, I know it would do that to mine. Try it and see.

 

[angellazette]

I plan to get Invisible Braids this weekend so I've been taking out twists here and there...ended up chopping my nape but I'm not tripping!

 

[Parvathi]

I'm going into my 7th month of transitioning and the shedding is no joke!!!! There is always hair everywhere and I am soo tempted to just do the big chop and get rid of my relaxed hair to stop the shedding.

Despite it all, I have about 4-5 inches of NG and well I am in total love...I have been mostly bunning my hair and doing braidouts...yeah, I'm defintely enjoying the process despite the ever so often nuances of transitioning

 

[Nightingale]

I plan to get Invisible Braids this weekend so I've been taking out twists here and there...ended up chopping my nape but I'm not tripping!

I chopped some of my hair off last night too! If I don't stop, I definently won't make it to August.

 

[Nanyanika]

I've been transitioning for about 14 months, trying to make it to 24 months in December. My nape area is very fine in texture/curl and i plan to cut off the relaxed ends in that area, that's it no more cutting after that until december, hopefully i will been shoulderlength natural by then. i just hope i will cope/manage being natural again.

 

[angellazette]

I'm in the process of chopping.

 

[Nanyanika]

I'm in the process of chopping.

I know, i saw your pic and left a comment....That is ezactly what i'm doing cutting sections at a time, how long is your nape now.

 

[angellazette]

I know, i saw your pic and left a comment....That is ezactly what i'm doing cutting sections at a time, how long is your nape now.

No more sections for me...I'm doing the whole head right now...I'll measure when I finish and of course they'll be pics

 

[Nanyanika]

No more sections for me...I'm doing the whole head right now...I'll measure when I finish and of course they'll be pics

OMG you are in the process of BC ing, i'm soo excited , i can't wait to see pics. yipeee

 

[angellazette]

It's short but the broken pieces of hair I keep flinging off of my hands keeps me going!

Ok I put up one photo, still a long way to go though.

 

[Nanyanika]

It's short but the broken pieces of hair I keep flinging off of my hands keeps me going!

Ok I put up one photo, still a long way to go though.

OMG I can't wait to see the end result

 

[Nanyanika]

It's short but the broken pieces of hair I keep flinging off of my hands keeps me going!

Ok I put up one photo, still a long way to go though.

girl i almost fell out of my chair, your hair is long, dat aint short is soo beautiful.

 

[angellazette]

girl i almost fell out of my chair, your hair is long, dat aint short is soo beautiful.

lol that's with the relaxed ends still on!

 

[Nanyanika]

lol that's with the relaxed ends still on!

Yeah i just went back and checked your comment, i'm getting a lil too excited

 

[Cheleigh]

Oh my goodness angellazette! A real live BC in progress! Your texture is looking SOOOOOO PRETTY! I am so excited for you--I thought you would transition longer, but I'm happy you're doing it now!

This makes me even more excited to do my own BC!

 

[Leslie_C]

fellow transitioner here.....I was unofficial for a while, but its now been 5 1/2 months or more since I relaxed last time. I was suffering a lot of breakage but I just took out my sew in and was suprised to have quite a bit more hair and see the broken areas filling in. The bad news is no amount of conditioner was helping me to moisturize or detangle this mess. It was so tangled and matted I had to take a break in between. I also combed out a big handful of hair in the process. I am frustrated right now bc I dont know what products I can use to soften and moisturize my dry, thirsty hair. Not to mention detangle it. Whoever said their hair felt like a brillo pad that hits the nail on the head. I think I have applied every product I own and still when I touch my new growth-especially in the back and middle-it feels like straw. I was combing out knots bc it just kept tangling and matting. *sigh* please help me. My hair is 4a/4b and the dreadlock look isnt working for me right now!

As I continue my transition, I plan to go the little manipulation route...co washing one week and shampooing the next alternating. deep condition weekly. I will plait or cornrow/twist my hair (still trying to learn this) underneath a fall for now. I also ordered a Lace front wig and hope this well help me bc I wont get so frustrated looking at it every day. Im not sure if I want to go natural for good or if I just want to grow out a full natural head of virgin hair so if I do relax it will be healthy and starting new again. I like straight styles as well as textured styles. But in humid FL weather I can barely hold a straight style when it is relaxed, I can only imagine natural.


I could use some product suggestions for moisturizing and detangling...

 

[onepraying]

fellow transitioner here.....I was unofficial for a while, but its now been 5 1/2 months or more since I relaxed last time. I was suffering a lot of breakage but I just took out my sew in and was suprised to have quite a bit more hair and see the broken areas filling in. The bad news is no amount of conditioner was helping me to moisturize or detangle this mess. It was so tangled and matted I had to take a break in between. I also combed out a big handful of hair in the process. I am frustrated right now bc I dont know what products I can use to soften and moisturize my dry, thirsty hair. Not to mention detangle it. Whoever said their hair felt like a brillo pad that hits the nail on the head. I think I have applied every product I own and still when I touch my new growth-especially in the back and middle-it feels like straw. I was combing out knots bc it just kept tangling and matting. *sigh* please help me. My hair is 4a/4b and the dreadlock look isnt working for me right now!

As I continue my transition, I plan to go the little manipulation route...co washing one week and shampooing the next alternating. deep condition weekly. I will plait or cornrow/twist my hair (still trying to learn this) underneath a fall for now. I also ordered a Lace front wig and hope this well help me bc I wont get so frustrated looking at it every day. Im not sure if I want to go natural for good or if I just want to grow out a full natural head of virgin hair so if I do relax it will be healthy and starting new again. I like straight styles as well as textured styles. But in humid FL weather I can barely hold a straight style when it is relaxed, I can only imagine natural.


I could use some product suggestions for moisturizing and detangling...

What's your regimen?

 

[onepraying]

Hiiii..I'm a new transitioner!

My last touch-up was on January 7, 2006. I just made the decision to transition about 3 weeks ago, but technically its been a little more than 2 months...

It's going pretty well, but the other day I woke up and I had tons of growth on my head..there was a big poof all over my head. It couldve been the surge, but either way, I'm happy. Growth is growth.

My hair has been hard to comb, however, which makes sense. I'm finally getting it through my head that I can't keep combing my hair like I used to, and that I can't just moisturize it once a week like when it was all relaxed.

Anywhoz, I'm so excited! I love the waves and curls I'm seeing, and I can't wait--but it's gonna be a while because my hair is BSL, and I don't plan on doing any chopping for a while.

CutiePie05 - I thought I'd move your post here. The other thread was a club this one is more interactive and supportive...

 

[Dlene]

Ok, here is the dilemma: prom is coming up for me on May 13th and I do not know how I should style my hair. I am currently transitioning and I am 19 weeks post. I have cornrows now, but I do not know if I want to relax on May 13th or if I should just have my stylist press my hair. If I press my hair and I get on the dance floor, I will sweat out the press especially by the end of the dance, if not during the dance. If I do that, it will look a mess for after-prom. By May 13th if I am still transitioning I will be 28 weeks, but if I relax that will be the longest stretch I have ever completed (7 months). I just saw a picture of Laila Ali and it made me think that I want to go back to getting relaxers and smooth edges(maybe every 6 months if I do).
So, the three questions I am asking are:
1. Should I continue transitioning and just have my hair styled with a press 'n curl or get a relaxer?
2. If I get a relaxer, should I go back to my old stylist (who I haven't seen since my last relaxer) who uses no-lye BUT ends up cutting my hair for trims OR should I use my current stylist who uses lye relaxers AND trims my hair (not even a 1/2" more like dustings). She is really gentle with my hair and is taking good care of my hair during this transition. I am still confused on the whole lye vs. no-lye relaxers.
3. If I get a relaxer, how should I style it? I know that I do not want something with gel. I am thinking maybe the Lisa Raye inspired updos or half up and half down. Any more ideas would be appreciated and if you have pictures please attach them to the message.

TIA

 

[beyondcute]

1. Should I continue transitioning and just have my hair styled with a press 'n curl or get a relaxer?

I think you should just get it pressed. With my experience even with a relaxer, sweat still makes my roots puffy.

2. If I get a relaxer, should I go back to my old stylist (who I haven't seen since my last relaxer) who uses no-lye BUT ends up cutting my hair for trims OR should I use my current stylist who uses lye relaxers AND trims my hair (not even a 1/2" more like dustings). She is really gentle with my hair and is taking good care of my hair during this transition. I am still confused on the whole lye vs. no-lye relaxers.

Well since Im against the relaxer I think you shoudl go to your current stylist an she shoudl be able to do somehtign to address your dillema. Maybe she can get you a style that will camoflauge the reversion.

3. If I get a relaxer, how should I style it? I know that I do not want something with gel. I am thinking maybe the Lisa Raye inspired updos or half up and half down. Any more ideas would be appreciated and if you have pictures please attach them to the message.

I think the hairstyle shoudl depend on your dress....

 

[so1913]

Ok, here is the dilemma: prom is coming up for me on May 13th and I do not know how I should style my hair. I am currently transitioning and I am 19 weeks post. I have cornrows now, but I do not know if I want to relax on May 13th or if I should just have my stylist press my hair. If I press my hair and I get on the dance floor, I will sweat out the press especially by the end of the dance, if not during the dance. If I do that, it will look a mess for after-prom. By May 13th if I am still transitioning I will be 28 weeks, but if I relax that will be the longest stretch I have ever completed (7 months). I just saw a picture of Laila Ali and it made me think that I want to go back to getting relaxers and smooth edges(maybe every 6 months if I do).
So, the three questions I am asking are:
1. Should I continue transitioning and just have my hair styled with a press 'n curl or get a relaxer?
2. If I get a relaxer, should I go back to my old stylist (who I haven't seen since my last relaxer) who uses no-lye BUT ends up cutting my hair for trims OR should I use my current stylist who uses lye relaxers AND trims my hair (not even a 1/2" more like dustings). She is really gentle with my hair and is taking good care of my hair during this transition. I am still confused on the whole lye vs. no-lye relaxers.
3. If I get a relaxer, how should I style it? I know that I do not want something with gel. I am thinking maybe the Lisa Raye inspired updos or half up and half down. Any more ideas would be appreciated and if you have pictures please attach them to the message.

TIA

I see you have cornrows? Are they with extensions? Asking because if you don't have a problem with extensions or braids, you could do micros that could be put in a very nice updo...just an option