TO RELAX OR NOT TO RELAX... LETS TALK IT OUT!

[jada1111]

what's a pineapple?

LOL! It's basically putting the hair up in a high ponytail before going to bed to preserve your style for a few days.

When I did my hair myself, I would take the rollers out when it finished dried, then wrap my hair in a doobie with the hairpins like the Dominicans would do when I didn't have them blowout my hair. I would take the pins out the next morning, then use the curling iron to smooth out the roller marks somewhat. I only combed my hair that one time to "blend" then would leave it alone until my next wash. I washed my hair twice a week, because I liked that fresh, blowing in the wind look.

I've always been into the upkeep of my hair. It's even more important now that I'm natural, because 4a hair doesn't "shine" as much as the other curlies, so sheen and moisture is a super high priority to me. I just don't want it feeling greasy. There are so many naps around me with the driest, brilloest looking hair ever in LA. You can see that they go to sleep without twisting or putting their hair up in a puff, because the back looks matted. I'm sorry, but I don't want to be standing next to nappies with their hair like this. IT BOTHERS ME!! Jeez, slap some crisco on it on sumthin!

See? Many naturals believe that when you go natural it means doing NOTHING to your hair. This is so far from the truth. Okay, enough of my rant about dry, brillo hair. I could go on for DAYS about this. LOL!

 

[me-T]

See? Many naturals believe that when you go natural it means doing NOTHING to your hair. This is so far from the truth.

the first time i went natural, i thought the same thing

 

[Mandy4610]

You can't get somebody else to twist it for you? That's a relatively easy style.

I do not have a stylist and I have not found anyone that I could pay to do twists. Most of my family is not in the country and my Aunt and cousin here are not hair styling inclined at allerplexed
In my city, it is very difficult to find a stylist and when you do find one, you have to pay an arm and a leg to get your hair done. I don't even think that I could find someone who would do natural hair.
I found someone who does cornrows, but I am not sure how much it will be or if she will do natural hair.Will see.

 

[me-T]

dang mandy, i feel your struggle. relaxed or natural, as far as doin somethin w/ it, you're pretty much s.o.l.

i'd get some locs and call it a day lol!

 

[Mandy4610]

dang mandy, i feel your struggle. relaxed or natural, as far as doin somethin w/ it, you're pretty much s.o.l.

i'd get some locs and call it a day lol!

It's a struggle and a half. Some days a good others not so good.

What does s.o.l mean?

 

[joib]

I was texlaxed for 9 months. I just relaxed (straight) today. I just couldn't take it any longer. This is the first time I used Lye relaxer. I am pleased so far. My hair is still wet. Next time I will have someone else do it so as not to overlap.I have much respect for the natural heads. I could not do a texlax let alone natural.

 

[Mandy4610]

I was texlaxed for 9 months. I just relaxed (straight) today. I just couldn't take it any longer. This is the first time I used Lye relaxer. I am pleased so far. My hair is still wet. Next time I will have someone else do it so as not to overlap.I have much respect for the natural heads. I could not do a texlax let alone natural.

You have a beautiful head of hair. Congrats on you new look.

 

[glamazon386]

I do not have a stylist and I have not found anyone that I could pay to do twists. Most of my family is not in the country and my Aunt and cousin here are not hair styling inclined at allerplexed
In my city, it is very difficult to find a stylist and when you do find one, you have to pay an arm and a leg to get your hair done. I don't even think that I could find someone who would do natural hair.
I found someone who does cornrows, but I am not sure how much it will be or if she will do natural hair.Will see.

You don't have a friend who knows how to braid? If she can cornrow, she can twist. Twists don't require as much skill as cornrows. I can twist my own hair but I can't cornrow it and make it look decent.

 

[asummertyme]

It's a struggle and a half. Some days a good others not so good.

What does s.o.l mean?

Shi* outa Luck...i think..

 

[sexyeyes3616]

You don't have a friend who knows how to braid? If she can cornrow, she can twist. Twists don't require as much skill as cornrows. I can twist my own hair but I can't cornrow it and make it look decent.

OT:Glam I just looked at your sig you have made awesome progress.

 

[cocosweet]

You don't have a friend who knows how to braid? If she can cornrow, she can twist. Twists don't require as much skill as cornrows. I can twist my own hair but I can't cornrow it and make it look decent.

I was about to say this . You need a friend who's a "kitchentician". You're not out of luck at all. Also, have you tried steam rollers like Caruso curlers? They work nicely and it doesn't take a long time either.

 

[LunadeMiel]

I love my natural hair so much that I can't even imagine getting a relaxer again. My relaxed hair wasn't too bad and I'm sure that I could have nursed it back to "health" had I wanted to. My hair isn't a hassle for me...I love taking care of it....

 

[Carolina18]

As much as I don't want anyone to relax again, maybe the relaxers you were using weren't strong enough for your hair.

Do you have any Dominican salons in our area? Maybe Revlon Professional "Super" might be what you need. Or a relaxer called "Nutrine"? I haven't used these in a very long time. I remember Revlon "Regular" being too strong for my hair, making too straight. Revlon "Mild" was better. Mizani is pretty good too.

Whatever you do - DO NOT USE NO-LYE RELAXERS!! They are garbage. Your hair doesn't shine and always looks sort of dry.

Also, what type of products are you using where it's taking you hours to detangle? What is your routine? You can PM me if you want to.

Now my hair has reached WL (some strands reaching TBL), I have to detangle before washing with a lubricant e.g. vatika oil, to remove shed hair - this usually takes about 2 - 3 hours.

On wash day, I braid my hair up and shampoo gently to reduce tangling, deep condition, and then use a moisturising conditioner with a lot of slip to detangle - this takes me another 2 -3 hours - on a good day. I finger comb because that's the only way I can safely/ gently work through the tangles and knots.

It wasn't always like this. It's just become more lengthy and arduous the longer my hair has grown. My hair just seems more prone to tangling now - and I never wear it down - always braided and up!

 

[diamond42377]

I first relaxed my hair when I was 18 (against my mother's wishes, she had a horrible experience while in beauty school with trying to relax right after getting a curl). It was the best decision I have ever made. I won't say I didn't have a few trying times especially when I first started out with no-lye since my hair was dry a lot. But after switching to lye I am so happy with my hair. I have cut it a lot in the past and decided to grow it long again which is why I joined this forum (along with the helpful information for general hair care). That being said, I love my lye relaxer. I have even gotten bold enough to self relax and still love it. When my hair was natural since it is super duper thick, it was too much to deal with and took up too much time. It is still real thick even with a relaxer but a lot more manageable.

 

[jada1111]

Now my hair has reached WL (some strands reaching TBL), I have to detangle before washing with a lubricant e.g. vatika oil, to remove shed hair - this usually takes about 2 - 3 hours.

On wash day, I braid my hair up and shampoo gently to reduce tangling, deep condition, and then use a moisturising conditioner with a lot of slip to detangle - this takes me another 2 -3 hours - on a good day. I finger comb because that's the only way I can safely/ gently work through the tangles and knots.

It wasn't always like this. It's just become more lengthy and arduous the longer my hair has grown. My hair just seems more prone to tangling now - and I never wear it down - always braided and up!

What conditioner are you using to detangle with?

This can make all the difference in so many things.

Also, how many times a week or month do you wash your hair?

I'm still trying to get a handle on your routine.

 

[Carolina18]

I've washed every week for the past 2 years, but will be doing so every 2 weeks - I do unbraid and detangle my hair with oil every other week though, to remove shed hair. During this time, it's braided and worn up. I never wear it down or do any wash-n-gos, or the tangles would be unbearable.

I use Alberto VO5 Moisture soak to detangle - it's the one that provides me with the most slip, apart from Pantene Hydrating Curls. I've tried Herbal Essences Totally Twisted and the much-raved about Hello Hyrdration but they don't work the same.

 

[me-T]

Shi* outa Luck...i think..

yup that's right

 

[me-T]

carolina, have you tried the HE long term relationship? if i wasn't tryin to get into natural products, this would be a definite staple!

 

[Carolina18]

carolina, have you tried the HE long term relationship? if i wasn't tryin to get into natural products, this would be a definite staple!

I can't get it in the UK, but I did manage to buy some HE Hello Hydration - which once was raved about on LHCF just as much, and it didn't blow me away. The thing is, it's not so much that I don't have access to good conditioners with slip - I just have a lot of hair to detangle, and hair which loves to wrap around itself the longer it gets. I love the thickness and texture, but it is taking a lot of time to detangle every week. What makes it all the more frustrating is that I can only braid it up to avoid it tangling.

 

[me-T]

dang that sucks.

OT: i need to start readin profiles. seein Carolina made me think you lived in the states

 

[Mandy4610]

You don't have a friend who knows how to braid? If she can cornrow, she can twist. Twists don't require as much skill as cornrows. I can twist my own hair but I can't cornrow it and make it look decent.

I have a friend that can braid, but she has a little baby and I feel bad to bother her. She is a single mom.
Man...I am s.o.l

 

[kblc06]

I've washed every week for the past 2 years, but will be doing so every 2 weeks - I do unbraid and detangle my hair with oil every other week though, to remove shed hair. During this time, it's braided and worn up. I never wear it down or do any wash-n-gos, or the tangles would be unbearable.

I use Alberto VO5 Moisture soak to detangle - it's the one that provides me with the most slip, apart from Pantene Hydrating Curls. I've tried Herbal Essences Totally Twisted and the much-raved about Hello Hyrdration but they don't work the same.

Treseme Curl Moisturizing Conditioner is the BEST! I was hooked on VO5 strawberries and cream before I found this . I apply this to my hair right after a wash (note: I sometimes apply even more water with the conditioner to give my hair the ultimate slip). Its drippy but cuts down detangling time in half; I also use a long tooth rake comb (somewhat like the K-cutter except that it looks more like a huge pick)

 

[ClassicBeauty]

I've really been thinking about relaxing lately!

My hair is too long and thick to wear it natural to work unless it's up in a bun or ponytail, and DH hates buns. I generally wear it flat-ironed all the time, but it takes so much work to get it straight.
Bublnbrnsuga just put a little extra on my mind too...

 

[Mandy4610]

I've really been thinking about relaxing lately!

My hair is too long and thick to wear it natural to work unless it's up in a bun or ponytail, and DH hates buns. I generally wear it flat-ironed all the time, but it takes so much work to get it straight.
Bublnbrnsuga just put a little extra on my mind too...

I know exactly what you mean.

 

[hopeful]

Oh, really? I was under the impression that it 'buffers' the strength of a relaxer, thereby not allowing it to penetrate as much as it would have.

I'm on the fence as well - I'd love to stay natural, but the 6 hour detangling sessions, and limited styling options (i.e. braiding and wearing my hair up right after washing to prevent tangles) are frustrating.

My major qualm however is that relaxers have never had any lasting effect on my hair. Once water touches my hair, it goes back to the way it was before the process, which makes the whole thing pointless. My focus right now is on monitoring how other naturals in the same boat are faring with this issue once they decide to go back to relaxers.

From my experience, when I add oils, the hair comes out silkier and it just feels "better" imo. The oil slows down the process but does not prevent it from penetrating enough, it just takes a little longer, which gives you more time to apply and smooth without overprocessing.

 

[drasgrl]

I'm undecided whether or not I want to stretch for 6 months. My last touch up was the end of August and I'm not due until the end of November but my hair is looking a slight mess. You know the look where a touch up would really make it look better. Eventually I do want to go natural. I'm trying to decide whether to relax or press like I used to. I can't decide which is worse the chemicals or the heat.

 

[Mandy4610]

I'm undecided whether or not I want to stretch for 6 months. My last touch up was the end of August and I'm not due until the end of November but my hair is looking a slight mess. You know the look where a touch up would really make it look better. Eventually I do want to go natural. I'm trying to decide whether to relax or press like I used to. I can't decide which is worse the chemicals or the heat.

It is a good question. I ask myself the same thing.

 

[twilight80]

I am currently in the same situation. I have been trying to decide for about two months what I want to do. I need to make an appointment soon because I need to take some professional pictures and I don't know what to do with my hair. I have been searching this forum over and over looking at the different topics on relaxing and going natural and I'm still confused.

Oh yeah, Im kinda between natural and relaxed. I had my last relaxer in June but I have had soo much new growth since then, that I'm half and half. I love my hair straight but I also think it is healthier without puting the chemicals put in. So I was looking into doing press and curls when I do need a style but I don't like putting heat in my hair.

Thank you for starting this thread. I need to make a decision in two weeks and I'm still not sure how to make the decison. Now I need to go back and read the other posts!

 

[me-T]

^^^whenever i get extra confused about it, i ask myself, "how do i plan to wear my hair 85% of the time?" "what texture needs the most work to look nice, and how much time can i dedicate to that?"

 

[*Muffin*]

BostonMaria and Glamazon386, I just wanted you to know that I feel the same way about naturals. I see how luscious and full their straightened hair looks and how delightfully curly it is and I'm like "I wanna go natural!" . I guess we all have that grass is always greener on the other side syndrome. It's nice that we all admire and respect each others hair.