TO RELAX OR NOT TO RELAX... LETS TALK IT OUT!

I would imagine that being on LHCF where there are so many varieties of hair types (relaxed, natural, texlaxed, etc...) its even more tempting to relax. I sometimes see the ladies with their straight hair and I'm like wow that's so pretty. For me being natural is the only option, I will never put a relaxer in my hair. I also frequent more natural hair forums so the temptation has never been there either. I would never judge anybody for putting a relaxer in their hair... My hair never tangles, never sheds, never knots up... I know people that tell me that it takes them 6 HOURS to detangle. OMG I can't imagine, I'd probably go back to relaxers too.

OP, the only thing I would ask you is what made you go natural in the first place? Sometimes the grass always looks easier on the other side. I thought that when I became natural it would be so easy. I am style-challenged and its been frustrating for me. I'm in it for the long haul though. I wish you luck on whatever you decide!
 
I'm sorry, but why does it have to be a major decision to do what YOU want to do with YOUR hair?

Natural ain't for everybody and neither is relaxed hair (for ME anyways). We're all grown women that can decide for ourselves what we should do with OUR hair. It's really not that serious.

For me personally, I have no desire to EVER relax again, because I find natural hair more beautiful. It's easier to deal with and style. Straight hair to ME is boring. Yes, many of the ladies here on LHCF have beautiful straight hair and it looks great on THEM. I prefer more of a FULL look.

I've been natural going on five years now and it's still a learning experience, especially as it grows longer, but I don't care.

I say do whatchu want to do and to hell with those people who are not paying your rent.
 
jada1111 said:
I'm sorry, but why does it have to be a major decision to do what YOU want to do with YOUR hair?

Natural ain't for everybody and neither is relaxed hair (for ME anyways). We're all grown women that can decide for ourselves what we should do with OUR hair. It's really not that serious.

For me personally, I have no desire to EVER relax again, because I find natural hair more beautiful. It's easier to deal with and style. Straight hair to ME is boring. Yes, many of the ladies here on LHCF have beautiful straight hair and it looks great on THEM. I prefer more of a FULL look.

I've been natural going on five years now and it's still a learning experience, especially as it grows longer, but I don't care.

I say do whatchu want to do and to hell with those people who are not paying your rent.
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You would think that, but I actually saw someone close their Fotki because people were sending her hate mail for texturing her hair LOL sounds ridiculous but this really did happen. No she wasn't from this forum.
 
Auburn said:
Why would it?
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Yeah I don't think anybody is saying anything inappropriate.

Relaxing your hair is a huge decision. Its permanent and if you regret your decision its a painful process to transition and doing the BC all over again. Its definitely something you should give thought to or ask people for their opinion. Now if people act all ignorant just because you relax, that's just childish.
 
BostonMaria said:
I would imagine that being on LHCF where there are so many varieties of hair types (relaxed, natural, texlaxed, etc...) its even more tempting to relax. I sometimes see the ladies with their straight hair and I'm like wow that's so pretty. For me being natural is the only option, I will never put a relaxer in my hair. I also frequent more natural hair forums so the temptation has never been there either. I would never judge anybody for putting a relaxer in their hair... My hair never tangles, never sheds, never knots up... I know people that tell me that it takes them 6 HOURS to detangle. OMG I can't imagine, I'd probably go back to relaxers too.
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Agree 100% with the highlighted. My hair doesn't shed, knot up either. The only time it acts that way is if I use cheap conditioners that don't provide enough slip or styling products that contain mineral/petrolatum in it. I also don't take two weeks to wash my hair either. Usually two or three times a week will suffice.

BostonMaria said:
OP, the only thing I would ask you is what made you go natural in the first place? Sometimes the grass always looks easier on the other side. I thought that when I became natural it would be so easy. I am style-challenged and its been frustrating for me. I'm in it for the long haul though. I wish you luck on whatever you decide!
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I am too and really don't have the patience for all those beautiful twist styles I see. I knew when I went natural the goal would be to wear my hair out 100% of the time anyway. I don't like hiding my hair. Gone are those days when I could throw a cap on it and run outside. Now, if I don't feel like doing anything to it, I throw it up in a puff style.
 
BostonMaria said:
You would think that, but I actually saw someone close their Fotki because people were sending her hate mail for texturing her hair LOL sounds ridiculous but this really did happen. No she wasn't from this forum.
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Now that's just straight up ridiculous. Some people take being natural way too far.

It has literally taken me YEARS to find products and a routine that works for ME. It's not easy and I'm still not the one to come to for advice on natural hair, because what I'm using TODAY may not be what I'll be using a week from now. Not many people can handle this type of jumping around. Also, the fullness/bigness and intensive shrinkage of natural hair can be a bit overwhelming for some and prefer something with a bit more "stretchage".

People need to what's best for THEM. Every now and then I think about flat ironing my hair to see the length, but I'm like what if I get some damaged pieces that won't revert back?
 
BostonMaria said:
I would imagine that being on LHCF where there are so many varieties of hair types (relaxed, natural, texlaxed, etc...) its even more tempting to relax. I sometimes see the ladies with their straight hair and I'm like wow that's so pretty. For me being natural is the only option, I will never put a relaxer in my hair. I also frequent more natural hair forums so the temptation has never been there either. I would never judge anybody for putting a relaxer in their hair... My hair never tangles, never sheds, never knots up... I know people that tell me that it takes them 6 HOURS to detangle. OMG I can't imagine, I'd probably go back to relaxers too.

OP, the only thing I would ask you is what made you go natural in the first place? Sometimes the grass always looks easier on the other side. I thought that when I became natural it would be so easy. I am style-challenged and its been frustrating for me. I'm in it for the long haul though. I wish you luck on whatever you decide!
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Same here! I'd be running to get me a Mizani for fine hair if it took that long. My hands can't handle that.
 
I get an urge once in a while when I'm frustrated becuase of this weird length my hair is at but then:

I remember why I went natural
look at a pic of my old relaxed hair
go through other naturals fotkis and remember that my frustration is only temporary and that my hair will grow and I know I will love it.

But relaxed vs natural is all about what you are willing to deal with personally, so don't take anyone's word for it. Just focus on yourself.

For example: I don't mind taking extra care with detangling, but I do not want to be bothered with touch ups, finding a stylist I could trust or learning how to self relax.
 
yeah..no matter what u choose, its gonna take some kind of effort or another...lol..nice hair dont come easy...relaxed or natural...
 
If my hair ever got to the point where it took me hours (heck even an hour, this is just me) to detangle, I would have to decide if I want to cut if off or relax it again. It would depend on what I wanted more at the time, long hair or easier maintenance.
 
hopeful said:
I also wanted to add that if and when you decide to relax make sure you really put time into planning for it. A lot of people just throw their hands up, go to walgreens, grab whatever relaxer they can find and just do it. Then they become frustrated with how their hair turns out. Think long and hard about whether you want to go with lye or no-lye because there is a difference. Test a small section first to make sure you hair likes the relaxer and to figure out timing. Add some oil to the relaxer--a little olive oil or coconut oil makes the relaxer creamier, gives you more time, and it always seems to help the relaxer "take" better. There is a poster here (can't remember her name) but she's always saying how the relaxer you choose lays the foundation for everything else.
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Oh, really? I was under the impression that it 'buffers' the strength of a relaxer, thereby not allowing it to penetrate as much as it would have.

I'm on the fence as well - I'd love to stay natural, but the 6 hour detangling sessions, and limited styling options (i.e. braiding and wearing my hair up right after washing to prevent tangles) are frustrating.

My major qualm however is that relaxers have never had any lasting effect on my hair. Once water touches my hair, it goes back to the way it was before the process, which makes the whole thing pointless. My focus right now is on monitoring how other naturals in the same boat are faring with this issue once they decide to go back to relaxers.
 
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sexyeyes3616 said:
Because when threads are started about relaxing and natural hair it can sometimes lead to that. Even though the OP said thats not what the thread is about the discussion can take a turn.
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I hope that doesn't happen here because this is not about relaxer vs natural or telling people what to do. I hope that anyone that chooses to post in this thread reads the original post and understands what the intent is.
 
Carolina18 said:
Oh, really? I was under the impression that it 'buffers' the strength of a relaxer, thereby not allowing it to penetrate as much as it would have.

I'm on the fence as well - I'd love to stay natural, but the 6 hour detangling sessions, and limited styling options (i.e. braiding and wearing my hair up right after washing to prevent tangles) are frustrating.

My major qualm however is that relaxers have never had any lasting effect on my hair. Once water touches my hair, it goes back to the way it was before the process, which makes the whole thing pointless. My focus right now is on monitoring how other naturals in the same boat are faring with this issue once they decide to go back to relaxers.
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As much as I don't want anyone to relax again, maybe the relaxers you were using weren't strong enough for your hair.

Do you have any Dominican salons in our area? Maybe Revlon Professional "Super" might be what you need. Or a relaxer called "Nutrine"? I haven't used these in a very long time. I remember Revlon "Regular" being too strong for my hair, making too straight. Revlon "Mild" was better. Mizani is pretty good too.

Whatever you do - DO NOT USE NO-LYE RELAXERS!! They are garbage. Your hair doesn't shine and always looks sort of dry.

Also, what type of products are you using where it's taking you hours to detangle? What is your routine? You can PM me if you want to.
 
jada1111 said:
As much as I don't want anyone to relax again, maybe the relaxers you were using weren't strong enough for your hair.

Do you have any Dominican salons in our area? Maybe Revlon Professional "Super" might be what you need. Or a relaxer called "Nutrine"? I haven't used these in a very long time. I remember Revlon "Regular" being too strong for my hair, making too straight. Revlon "Mild" was better. Mizani is pretty good too.

Whatever you do - DO NOT USE NO-LYE RELAXERS!! They are garbage. Your hair doesn't shine and always looks sort of dry.

Also, what type of products are you using where it's taking you hours to detangle? What is your routine? You can PM me if you want to.
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Hey you are right about relaxers. Some of them are just not strong enough for some heads. Mizani seems to do a good job. I use it for my cousin's hair and she has course hair like no man's business.
 
jada1111 said:
Also, what type of products are you using where it's taking you hours to detangle? What is your routine?
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i'd like to know to, cause that's insane! do you mean to do a style (twists, etc.) or jus detangling period, cause when i was nappy, it never took me that long. maybe 2hrs max depending on my feel-like-it level
 
Carolina18 said:
Oh, really? I was under the impression that it 'buffers' the strength of a relaxer, thereby not allowing it to penetrate as much as it would have.

I'm on the fence as well - I'd love to stay natural, but the 6 hour detangling sessions, and limited styling options (i.e. braiding and wearing my hair up right after washing to prevent tangles) are frustrating.

My major qualm however is that relaxers have never had any lasting effect on my hair. Once water touches my hair, it goes back to the way it was before the process, which makes the whole thing pointless. My focus right now is on monitoring how other naturals in the same boat are faring with this issue once they decide to go back to relaxers.
Click to expand...

Actually the oil slows down the processing time. It makes the chemicals work slower.
 
One of my problems with my hair right now is that not only do I not have any styling skills, but I also have a very painful shoulder and some kind of a muscle problem that does not allow me to do much with my hair.
I love the look of twists coils, but I cringe when I hear someone say it took them 4hrs to do them. My body would never let me do that.
 
Mandy4610 said:
Hey you are right about relaxers. Some of them are just not strong enough for some heads. Mizani seems to do a good job. I use it for my cousin's hair and she has course hair like no man's business.
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I remember going to this stylist in Harlem to get my hair done. I was just too through with it looking dry as the sahara. No matter what I did to make it shine and look pretty it just wouldn't. This was before I knew about the dominicans.

Well, I go to her and she did NOT want to give me a touch up. She was afraid my hair would fall out. I told her that I was using no-lye relaxers. Her face scrunched up and she said "No wonder your hair looks like that." She touched me up with Mizani mild, deep conditioned my hair with Mizani's deep conditioner and gave me a much needed trim/cut.

I had read Andre Walker's book "Andre Talks Hair" and that's when I learned the difference between no-lye and lye based relaxers. I used the no-lye because I could do it at home and it didn't burn my scalp like the others. There was no way I could do my own touch-ups at home with lye, so I would have to schedule time/money to get it done. I started going to the Dominicans, because I liked their styling methods better. Also, my hair began to look SHINEY again. I also learned how to do my own rollersets to keep my hair looking gorgeous. The only thing I couldn't do was the dominican blowout to remove the roller-marks. I learned about pineapples, satin caps, pillowcases from THIS haircareforum back in its early stages.

Two years later, I decided to go natural and relaxed hair was now history to me. Thank God for the hairboards, because if it wasn't for them I'd probably still be relaxed.

I tell everyone I meet that everything I learned about natural hair I learned on the internet. Relaxed hair too. LOL!
 
Mandy4610 said:
One of my problems with my hair right now is that not only do I not have any styling skills, but I also have a very painful shoulder and some kind of a muscle problem that does not allow me to do much with my hair.
I love the look of twists coils, but I cringe when I hear someone say it took them 4hrs to do them. My body would never let me do that.
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Don't feel bad. I don't have any shoulder problems, but just the "thought" of having to spend that much time on my hair makes me tired. LOL!

I do respect the ones that can do it, because the results are absolutely beautiful. :-D
 
Mandy4610 said:
One of my problems with my hair right now is that not only do I not have any styling skills, but I also have a very painful shoulder and some kind of a muscle problem that does not allow me to do much with my hair.
I love the look of twists coils, but I cringe when I hear someone say it took them 4hrs to do them. My body would never let me do that.
Click to expand...

You can't get somebody else to twist it for you? That's a relatively easy style.
 
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