Im tempted to relax! Someone talk me out of this..

[Iluvsmuhgrass]

When I first decided to transition, I was at 4-5 months post relaxer... then I relaxed. Believe me, I kicked myself later. That was about five months worth of growth that I could have had. I was so impatient. Put your hair away and give yourself some time. Shrinkage can keep you from seeing what you really have.

 

[pre_medicalrulz]

lol you're only 3 months so if you feel like relaxing then do it & start all over. However don't be like me & get to 9 months & then end up relaxing again. LOL!!!! smh

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

Awwww MissMariee I know how you feel. I've been there before.

I agree with the general consensus on the board though.... 3 months is just way too short of an amount of time as a natural to be reaching back for the relaxer.

You haven't really given yourself (or your hair) time to breathe without a chemical. Honestly, 3 months was the amount of time I would wait for a touch up. So waiting 3 months was nothing to me. That's barely any hair growth at all.

If I were you, I would give it a few more months. When I went natural, I told myself I would give my hair 2 years, and if after 2 years I didn't like it, I would go back to a relaxer. I said I was give my hair at LEAST 1 year of being natural...at the very least. So far, I haven't turned back since.

So, maybe look at some YT videos for some tips maybe?? I do agree, the longer natural hair grows, the more CHALLENGING it can get.

I didn't technically transition, I had a TON of breakage in the back and in the middle (I think from ponytails everyday, in the same spot) so I came home from work and just cut it all out of frustration. Then cried cause I hated it. I've gotten more comfortable with it I just don't feel girly with it anymore.

Awww....why don't you feel girly anymore?? Is it because you feel that your hair is short? Have people been making negative comments about it?

I wish society didn't stigmatize short hair vs. long hair and make long hair the "ideal" for femininity. erplexed

I'm sorry, but do you have a vagina?? If so, then trust and believe that you are "girly" enough!!!

 

[Lynnerie]

How would you wear your hair if you relaxed it? It will still be short and in my opinion akward. You won't be able to bun it and you'll end of having to weave it up or get braids and heck you can do that now.

 

[SimJam]

I have BC'd 10 times (at least) and the bolded is the reason I went back to texlaxing. With the support of the boards, I was able to PS my way over the hump. Each time I took down my PS my hair was even bigger and badder than before.

Maybe you should put your hair away for a while and protect it from yourself. If it grows out and you still feel the same way, you can always relax then.

GL!

Chile listen to this woman !!! She was the scissor queen and look at her hair now!!!!!

if showing length is the hangup you have with being natural, then you are constantly gonna be upset lol

this is what my hair looks like in a twistout and im 1 inch away from APL

 

[HappilyLiberal]

It's not the natural part I have a problem with, it's the length. I actually love my natural hair, but I feel like at this length the only way I can deal is if I relax, but once I get to sl I'd have no problem being natural. Complicated I know lol

Don't do it!!!!!

Don't do it!!!!!

Don't do it!!!!!

Don't do it!!!!!

Don't do it!!!!!

I relaxed after 19 months without a relaxer and 13 months after the BC. BIG MISTAKE. I immediately wanted my naturaly hair back... then, to add insult to injury, my hair started breaking off! I have a HUGE section of breakage in the back that I am hiding under a phony bun. I am transitioning again. But I really wish I had gotten some braids until the urge to relax passed.

 

[MsDee14]

I say..hide your hair for a little bit then think about it.

Or get your hair straightened (make sure to take the proper precautions) and you will have a sense of what your hair will look like when relaxed. If you fall in love with it and you're ready..go ahead and relax. The worst that can happen is that you hate it and have to BC or transition all over.

 

[bhndbrwneyes]

I'm in the same boat as you, MissMariee but I've been transitioning for 7 months. I really need someone to talk me into continuing to transition because I really want to relax within the next few weeks.

Honestly, natural hair is not for everyone. I like some of the styles I see on other people but I really can't imagine them on me and I also don't know how to do them (I'm sure I can learn but hair is not my life and I don't feel like wasting a lot of time watching tutorials on how to do them). It takes hours for me to twist or braid my hair and a very long time to detangle it and I simply have other things to do. It's just getting too hard to manage. I've been doing wash n gos for 95% of the transition and buns for 5%.

What I do like about transitioning/natural hair is I don't care when it rains or I sweat a lot because I play volleyball a lot. That stuff really makes my NG show when my hair is relaxed but it makes my WNG look better and doesn't even affect my bun when my hair is natural. Also with the NG I have right now, I can feel that it is so soft and incredibly healthy. I can literally feel where the relaxed part starts with my eyes closed because it is more rough and dry.

My fear is that I'll finally decide to relax but all of the same issues I had before will return (dryness, breakage, NG not looking sleek, etc) and that I will want to go back to natural. Relaxing is also expensive if you are not stretching. I have never had a relaxer under $75 not including the tip. I know other people can get theirs for $40 at the salon or even cheaper if they do it theirself but I am not comfortable self relaxing at this time and when I go to the salon they always charge me $70 to start because I have long, thick hair, usually with a lot of new growth. My last relaxer was $90-something and I only wore it relaxed for like 2 months then started to transition again because of the issues I mentioned. Granted those issues were before I joined LHCF so hopefully, if I do decide to relax, then I won't experience them as much.

 

[MissMariee]

I'm in the same boat as you, MissMariee but I've been transitioning for 7 months. I really need someone to talk me into continuing to transition because I really want to relax within the next few weeks.

Honestly, natural hair is not for everyone. I like some of the styles I see on other people but I really can't imagine them on me and I also don't know how to do them (I'm sure I can learn but hair is not my life and I don't feel like wasting a lot of time watching tutorials on how to do them). It takes hours for me to twist or braid my hair and a very long time to detangle it and I simply have other things to do. It's just getting too hard to manage. I've been doing wash n gos for 95% of the transition and buns for 5%.

What I do like about transitioning/natural hair is I don't care when it rains or I sweat a lot because I play volleyball a lot. That stuff really makes my NG show when my hair is relaxed but it makes my WNG look better and doesn't even affect my bun when my hair is natural. Also with the NG I have right now, I can feel that it is so soft and incredibly healthy. I can literally feel where the relaxed part starts with my eyes closed because it is more rough and dry.

My fear is that I'll finally decide to relax but all of the same issues I had before will return (dryness, breakage, NG not looking sleek, etc) and that I will want to go back to natural. Relaxing is also expensive if you are not stretching. I have never had a relaxer under $75 not including the tip. I know other people can get theirs for $40 at the salon or even cheaper if they do it theirself but I am not comfortable self relaxing at this time and when I go to the salon they always charge me $70 to start because I have long, thick hair, usually with a lot of new growth. My last relaxer was $90-something and I only wore it relaxed for like 2 months then started to transition again because of the issues I mentioned. Granted those issues were before I joined LHCF so hopefully, if I do decide to relax, then I won't experience them as much.

90$ for a relaxer!? That right there would keep me natural lol
Although I still have the thought in the back of my mind to relax, I didn't and am glad I haven't, yet. I'm really determined to make it to at least apl

How long is your hair? Maybe you should try hiding your hair for a while like some of these ladies suggested? Or you could bc, so it's all one texture?

 

[bhndbrwneyes]

The thought of BCing makes me want to scream. My hair has always been relatively "long" and as I wrote on the "Random Hair Thoughts Thread" I feel like my head is too big to BC lol. My hair has been SL-BSL for as long as I can remember (like 2nd grade). That seems average to me but I know a lot of women on here consider that long. I've had some major breakage setbacks and that's what I'm afraid of going back to. (That and frizzy ends and the expensive cost). Right now my hair is between MBL and WL but it's not full and I need a trim so probably BSL-MBL when all that is done. I really want to keep my length and my biggest thing is I don't really see the point in spending hundreds of dollars and hours on your hair if you don't even get to show it off. I want to wear it out but I prefer the relaxed out look more than the natural look. On me of course, I'm not trying to offend anyone and I think everyone's hair looks good but some styles are just not for me.

 

[koolkittychick]

90$ for a relaxer!? That right there would keep me natural lol
Although I still have the thought in the back of my mind to relax, I didn't and am glad I haven't, yet. I'm really determined to make it to at least apl

How long is your hair? Maybe you should try hiding your hair for a while like some of these ladies suggested? Or you could bc, so it's all one texture?

Girl, that ain't nothing; when I went back to the creamy crack, the salon I go to had my hair soft, shiny and healthy with no breakage, but at a cost--$140 a pop, to be exact. Thank God I learned how to stretch my relaxers to every three months!

For me, though, it's worth it. After almost 5 years as a natural, I got my hair to APL (even though I didn't now how to take care of it like I know now), but I didn't like the way I looked with it. My little sister can show her length as a natural, but I can't because of shrinkage. I like showing my length and not having to detangle for 4 hours at a time, so I went back to relaxer. After about 3 years, I am almost back to APL, and I am happier, even if it costs more and requires a little more care to wear my hair relaxed and keep it healthy.

Truth be told, I have considered going back to being natural after learning all the things I have here on LHCF--but only if I could skip the awkward growing out phase between BC and APLish without weaves or wigs (which I don't do). But I like the way my hair looks right now too much to put up with that.

I would go with the other ladies' suggestions here and put your hair in braids or twists for about six months or so and see how you feel about relaxing then. It would be a shame if you didn't give your natural hair a chance before you made your decision.

Good luck hon, and have a happy hair journey either way!

 

[bhndbrwneyes]

How long is your hair? Maybe you should try hiding your hair for a while like some of these ladies suggested? Or you could bc, so it's all one texture?

I'm not a believer in hiding my hair with wigs, sew-ins, phony ponies, etc. I believe the hair I show should be my real hair. And I've always liked to flaunt my hair and length.

 

[Lynnerie]

^ I agree. I tried hiding my hair for a month and was about to go crazy.