This black dude I just met is pissing me off ****VENT****

[Lovelylife]

but see the thing about me is once I've talked about something I am done with it. So I have talked about it and it no longer bothers me lol. That was the whole purpose of the thread, hence in the title it said VENT, not advice needed. There is nothing to deal with, or remove myself from.

But your telling us...this is a forum...people discuss threads in this forum. Especially this forum about issues involving black women and black men. You knew that it was going to cause a rise. I really don't know what else you was expecting.
To clarify, I'm not necessarily upset or angry at you. It's just the action. The fact that I take people seriously and want to help. The fact that I get burdened with issues that people don't want to solve. Plus a recent occurrence just like this has made me harden towards people, especially domestic violence.
If you need to vent, just write in a journal. It does helps.

 

[NOEChic]

The women on here like to solve problems. Why vent and seem so upset but with no intention to solve it. I think it's overly dramatic. Either you be a women and deal with it calmly or you remove the situation.
I know this couple and one partner was crying and acting like he was being abused. The couple was have issues (physical and emotional) I took the person very seriously...but the person didn't want help. I put my life on hold trying be savior. So why trouble me with your issues, put my life on hold in the first place. After this experience I decided to never give advice for people who claim to be abused. That's one reason why I didn't want to respond. Please don't cause people to worry about you if you are not going to change anything.

at the bolded, you should have followed your first mind. And there is a BIG difference from someone being abused or someone just needing to vent about something. people nowadays don't have any listening skills. Sometimes people need to get things off of their chest without everyone trying to be a captain save a hoe.

and as far as causing people to worry, nothing in my post should have caused anyone to worry. if they did, then that is not on me, that is on them

 

[NOEChic]

But your telling us...this is a forum...people discuss threads in this forum. Especially this forum about issues involving black women and black men. You knew that it was going to cause a rise.
If you need to vent, just write in a journal. I do it helps.

this is my journal, you don't like it don't come in the threads that i post. simple as that.

 

[Lovelylife]

at the bolded, you should have followed your first mind. And there is a BIG difference from someone being abused or someone just needing to vent about something. people nowadays don't have any listening skills. Sometimes people need to get things off of their chest without everyone trying to be a captain save a hoe.

and as far as causing people to worry, nothing in my post should have caused anyone to worry. if they did, then that is not on me, that is on them

I look back in the thread and everyone's gone and your still talking junk, like your so surprised.
That is emotional abuse and verbal abuse in my opinion...but whatever. It seems like you only care about yourself and you enjoy other people that also. The same type of personality of my former friend. I'll leave you to your devices.

 

[NOEChic]

This is a PRIME EXAMPLE of a vent thread

http://www.longhaircareforum.com/off-topic/512229-vent-about-your-family-members-thread.html

no one was really offering advice..they were venting about the things their family members do that piss them off.

 

[Lovelylife]

this is my journal, you don't like it don't come in the threads that i post. simple as that.

So this is not a forum?
LHCF has become your personal journal...interesting.

 

[Lovelylife]

This is a PRIME EXAMPLE of a vent thread

http://www.longhaircareforum.com/off-topic/512229-vent-about-your-family-members-thread.html

no one was really offering advice..they were venting about the things their family members do that piss them off.

Those are people observing others, coming to solutions or in situations they cannot control because it is family.

 

[NOEChic]

So this is not a forum?
LHCF has become your personal journal...interesting.

miss me with that bc 1) i hardly post in threads 2) i hardly make threads 3) there are people on here that post WAY more personal stuff on here, from their husbands leaving, breaking up with boyfriends, family problems, to pregnancies, to work issues and the like.

you joined not even a yr ago and already have over 1k post. i have been here 4 yrs and just have over 3k. do the math

 

[pookaloo83]

Now this thread is getting good!

 

[Lovelylife]

Now this thread is getting good!

That gif is too much!!

 

[EllePixie]

OP, I actually get your point (lol at him being short and dark skinned too, because those are always the most critical dudes, and I'm like ummm boy bye). I read your post about him not liking black women as in he doesn't date them (which is dumb but his preference).

I have a lot of guy friends, and sometimes they can talk about women like dogs - it's really ridiculous. Unfortunately, I've pretty much come to put up with it - if they want to call a chick ugly, or fat, it doesn't bother me. Now, I won't join in, but if that's their forte, there we go. Have you told him yourself that you don't appreciate how he talks about women? Sounds to me like he needs a good electric shock.

People often think they can say whatever the heck they want as long as they aren't referring to the person they are speaking to, but that's not true. People are often bothered by negativity and name calling. If I were you, next time he does it I'd tell him that he probably shouldn't be calling women all kinds of names when he's running around looking like a broken mini flashlight. He might get pissed, or he'll see your point that it's not cute to insult everyone all the time.

 

[NOEChic]

OP, I actually get your point (lol at him being short and dark skinned too, because those are always the most critical dudes, and I'm like ummm boy bye). I read your post about him not liking black women as in he doesn't date them (which is dumb but his preference).

I have a lot of guy friends, and sometimes they can talk about women like dogs - it's really ridiculous. Unfortunately, I've pretty much come to put up with it - if they want to call a chick ugly, or fat, it doesn't bother me. Now, I won't join in, but if that's their forte, there we go. Have you told him yourself that you don't appreciate how he talks about women? Sounds to me like he needs a good electric shock.

People often think they can say whatever the heck they want as long as they aren't referring to the person they are speaking to, but that's not true. People are often bothered by negativity and name calling. If I were you, next time he does it I'd tell him that he probably shouldn't be calling women all kinds of names when he's running around looking like a broken mini flashlight. He might get pissed, or he'll see your point that it's not cute to insult everyone all the time.

wait what

i have mentioned to him, when he talks about a chick is fat, that hey im fat, be nice..he then says no, you are thick, there is a difference between fat and thick.

me personally i dont see the difference but ok. but no one takes me serious anyway so it is what it is. i just roll my eyes and give him blank stare.

 

[EllePixie]

wait what

i have mentioned to him, when he talks about a chick is fat, that hey im fat, be nice..he then says no, you are thick, there is a difference between fat and thick.

me personally i dont see the difference but ok. but no one takes me serious anyway so it is what it is. i just roll my eyes and give him blank stare.

No, don't associate it with yourself. To be honest, when you project your own image onto him insulting another woman it makes you look a little insecure (not calling you insecure but it can be perceived in this way). Men usually think women are fishing for compliments when they do this. You need to tell him that the way he talks about women is insulting and rude, and it's simply not cool. Just leave it at that - If he respects you as a person he'll stop.

 

[chocolat79]

Now this thread is getting good!

You are D.U.M.B. (I mean that respectfully, of course). I'm dyinggg!!!

 

[runwaydream]

wow.. this turned into an OP bashing session i see

anyway OP, i see where you're coming from, and i'm really annoyed by a lot of the responses you got here. it's clear you just wanted to vent. ppl do it all the time, i dont see why everyone wants to go hard on you just bc you're doing it too.

perhaps some posters are taking it personally that it doesn't bother you enough to stop hanging out with a guy that doesn't like black women. idk.

but from what you explained i see why you probably still hang out with him. you're in a foreign country, you don't know that many ppl, he fills a role that you need filled atm, he pays for your outings and in return all you have to do is put up with a few annoyances with his personality.

i get you OP. and you should be allowed to vent here regardless of whether other ppl agree with your decision to hang out with him or not.

 

[NOEChic]

wow.. this turned into an OP bashing session i see

anyway OP, i see where you're coming from, and i'm really annoyed by a lot of the responses you got here. it's clear you just wanted to vent. ppl do it all the time, i dont see why everyone wants to go hard on you just bc you're doing it too.

perhaps some posters are taking it personally that it doesn't bother you enough to stop hanging out with a guy that doesn't like black women. idk.

but from what you explained i see why you probably still hang out with him. you're in a foreign country, you don't know that many ppl, he fills a role that you need filled atm, he pays for your outings and in return all you have to do is put up with a few annoyances with his personality.

i get you OP. and you should be allowed to vent here regardless of whether other ppl agree with your decision to hang out with him or not.

All this is true, and I am used to getting bashed. I can say the sky is blue and everyone would come in saying that the sky is purple.

 

[soulfusion]

NOE let me know if you decide to use that broken mini-flashlight descriptor on him. I like that one. lol! Sounds like he doesn't need to be trying to talk about anyone.

(and no EllePixie didn't come back and post a picture for good measure! )

 

[EllePixie]

NOE let me know if you decide to use that broken mini-flashlight descriptor on him. I like that one. lol! Sounds like he doesn't need to be trying to talk about anyone.

(and no EllePixie didn't come back and post a picture for good measure! )

If there's anything I can't stand, it's one of those funky actin' dudes who think they are thebomb.com and they look a mess...

 

[NOEChic]

If there's anything I can't stand, it's one of those funky actin' dudes who think they are thebomb.com and they look a mess...

girl he had the nerve to ask me if i thought he was cute lol. I had to give him one of these

 

[EllePixie]

girl he had the nerve to ask me if i thought he was cute lol. I had to give him one of these

Are you sure he doesn't like you??? Sometimes I think that men bash women around other women because they think we like it and feel prettier...

 

[NOEChic]

Are you sure he doesn't like you??? Sometimes I think that men bash women around other women because they think we like it and feel prettier...

no because he was saying how this white chick that don't mess with black dudes, should want to **** with him bc look at him. and all i could do is

 

[skipper]

sometimes i start a thread or write a response to a thread.

i read it a couple of times and then i think, how will this be received? do i really need to post this? what's my point. and then I'll delete whatever i have written because there's no point, its not funny or useful.

i think it bugs people because the "situation" is easily avoidable. and the tone of your first post made it seem like you really didn't like him at all. when people advised you to cut him you started making excuses.

i'd say next time maybe write the thread and re-read it a few times and then maybe you'll realize its not that bad and the post is totally unnecessary or maybe talk to someone who you are mutual friends with and then they'll say 'yeah that bugs me too' and let you vent with out offering a solution to the issue that you don't want to solve.

 

[EllePixie]

no because he was saying how this white chick that don't mess with black dudes, should want to **** with him bc look at him. and all i could do is

I really would like to know what women told these dudes they were so dang hot and the could get any woman they want...because I know a few dudes like that too and I'm always like... :whois:

 

[SND411]

I really would like to know what women told these dudes they were so dang hot and the could get any woman they want...because I know a few dudes like that too and I'm always like... :whois:

I always think its pitiful the way some men put all their worth into their penis. Like, is getting as many women as possible all to life? Seriously! They will wake up one day and feel ashamed...

 

[NOEChic]

I always think its pitiful the way some men put all their worth into their penis. Like, is getting as many women as possible all to life? Seriously! They will wake up one day and feel ashamed...

he told me last night he was a male whore. i looked at him like

 

[toniy]

I used to know an "Uncle Ruckus" like that in my soldier days. His name was Allen, worked out excessively, short, smooth coffee color, big shoulders, bulging arms, skinny neck and small head. Very nice until things didnt go his way (him being turned down). He should be in his 40's now. I hope we aren't talking about the same number #1 GI.

If not, just stopped in to say, vent, OP, vent. I have seen quite a few wasteful threads over the last few years. If it wasn't for these threads, the boards wouldn't be as interesting.

You stand your ground well. Merry Christmas!

 

[Mitre]

OP I like this thread thanks for posting. Even though some people may not like it I am sure other people may have learned something from it.

 

[NOEChic]

****I DONT KNOW WHY THIS WAS MOVED TO THE RELATIONSHIP FORUM, BC THIS IS NOT A RELATIONSHIP POST****MODS can you move it back to OFFTOPIC?

 

[Theresamonet]

I don't have a problem with the op starting a vent thread. But I thinks it's weird that the op was sounding like the dude really sucked and she couldn't stand him, and when people came in to agree that he sounds like a douche, she started going hard defending him ...which made the original vent seem pointless.


How you gon start a vent thread about somebody, and then half way though decide you ain't mad at the person no mo and get defensive? Sheesh...at least stay mad until the thread is on page 2.

 

[NOEChic]

I don't have a problem with the op starting a vent thread. But I thinks it's weird that the op was sounding like the dude really sucked and she couldn't stand him, and when people came in to agree that he sounds like a douche, she started going hard defending him ...which made the original vent seem pointless.


How you gon start a vent thread about somebody, and then half way though decide you ain't mad at the person no mo and get defensive? Sheesh...at least stay mad until the thread is on page 2.

not mad, i was clarifying that he was talking about white women. I really hate when people, think just because other people date outside their race, they are self hating. I know a lot of black women married to white men and white women married to black men. Its all about who makes you happy and what you find attractive.