This black dude I just met is pissing me off ****VENT****

Londar said:
I try not to hang out with toxic people. He seems toxic and is probably not inspiring self esteem in his daughter. With his track record, he doesn't seem like he has much to offer.
Click to expand...

I like this. It is a very diplomatic response because my response would have been that he's a self-hating Jack@$. OP you should probably let him go as a friend and love him from a distance. He sounds like a downer. Doesn't sound like he's fun to hang out with.
 
Why not go out with girlfriends and not a guy? He's not actually a friend but a "going-out" guy? That's a date, no matter how you look at it. Can I ask you if you'd befriend a nazi or ku klux klown? No. So, why befriend this auto-racist guy? He's a racist. You SHOULD care that he hates Black women...because YOU ARE ONE.
 
I still don't why you have to hang out with him. I don't speak to everyone I work with and I have no problems working out alone. You need to develop some independence.
 
OP, I know this a vent but I think the reason you are so ticked is because you like him, even a little bit. Part of you is attracted to men who denigrate women prolly because ( ). I think this guy reporesents something more serious and you really should think about it. As Volver said, you are a black woman so a conversation putting down black women or women period should be the last one you had with that knucklehead.
 
if this was a female friend would you be going out with her this much after she's been pissing you off all this time?....speaking from experience it seems that women don't give other women 2nd, 3rd, 4th chances...or even the benefit of doubt
 
He sounds like a coon. I wouldnt be able to stomach it but if his paying your way outweighs the annoyances for you then whats there to be said? Even if it was fruitless I'd have to tell him about himself.
 
working out and going out sounds kind of counterproductive.

why not just work out, alone and not go out. you'll reach your goals faster if you're not out sabotaging your workout with alcohol and bar food. it doesn't even sound like your having fun so why waste the calories and the extra hours awake. go home early get your 8 hours so you can fuel your body for your work out the next day.

try taking some fun classes jazzercise or zumba and meet some nice new girlfriends with similar goals and hangout with them.
 
nathansgirl1908 said:
I like this. It is a very diplomatic response because my response would have been that he's a self-hating Jack@$. OP you should probably let him go as a friend and love him from a distance. He sounds like a downer. Doesn't sound like he's fun to hang out with.
Click to expand...

Thanks. My theory is that if I get extra eeeeeeextra involved in black people when they admit to this hatred and fvckery that I over-invest to the point of questioning my own self worth. That's why I just leave it at toxic. I have watched this same time happen to the most confident people. You listen to garbage and it rubs off so that while you may not believe it totally you may second guess, KWIM?

So instead of getting on my soap box with those people, fvck 'em. Not worth the time and energy because it won't change anything. I realized self hatred is oceans deep... some people just can't and won't turn it off. :nono:
 
yardyspice said:
OP, I know this a vent but I think the reason you are so ticked is because you like him, even a little bit. Part of you is attracted to men who denigrate women prolly because ( ). I think this guy reporesents something more serious and you really should think about it. As Volver said, you are a black woman so a conversation putting down black women or women period should be the last one you had with that knucklehead.
Click to expand...

I just wanted to expand on this, and I don't necessarily mean you OP but it is something to think about..

Some women like men that denigrate women and will strive to fit into a category that he pays homage too so she can feel better about herself. That is the trap of prejudice that stems from insecurity. In his case, he is prejudiced and I would get away as soon as possible. There may be some subconscious reason you are there. There are always women that hate this type of man--not for who and what he is, but because she doesn't fall into the category that he won't criticize.
 
RossBoss said:
LOL! No, I don't know him. Now, I know I will get stoned for this (but as usual, I don't care!) but his behavior just sounded like that of a short, dark skinned man. In my mind, as you were describing the things he does or says, I just pictured him to be that way. :look:
Click to expand...

I hate to say this, and not sterotyping, but I have to generally agree.
 
blkbeauty said:
I hate to say this, and not sterotyping, but I have to generally agree.
Click to expand...

I just have always noticed that if a man had issues with skin tone/race/infatuated with light skin, he is almost always darker skinned and many times short. Now before all the women married to dark short men come rolling up in here demanding my head, I know that ALL dark short men are not like this so leave me alone.:drunk:
 
yardyspice said:
OP, I know this a vent but I think the reason you are so ticked is because you like him, even a little bit. Part of you is attracted to men who denigrate women prolly because ( ). I think this guy reporesents something more serious and you really should think about it. As Volver said, you are a black woman so a conversation putting down black women or women period should be the last one you had with that knucklehead.
Click to expand...
Um actually I don't like him, not even a little bit. There is nothing serious about this guy. He asked me to be his wingman when he goes out to make sure he gets back to base. I said sure no problem. If I do you that solid you have to workout with me. And he don't put down black women, he is putting down WHITE women!
 
Londar said:
I just wanted to expand on this, and I don't necessarily mean you OP but it is something to think about..

Some women like men that denigrate women and will strive to fit into a category that he pays homage too so she can feel better about herself. That is the trap of prejudice that stems from insecurity. In his case, he is prejudiced and I would get away as soon as possible. There may be some subconscious reason you are there. There are always women that hate this type of man--not for who and what he is, but because she doesn't fall into the category that he won't criticize.
Click to expand...

But he has never put down a black woman in my presence. He told me the story about why he started dating outside of our race once and then he started putting down the WHITE women that we see, not black.
 
skipper said:
working out and going out sounds kind of counterproductive.

why not just work out, alone and not go out. you'll reach your goals faster if you're not out sabotaging your workout with alcohol and bar food. it doesn't even sound like your having fun so why waste the calories and the extra hours awake. go home early get your 8 hours so you can fuel your body for your work out the next day.

try taking some fun classes jazzercise or zumba and meet some nice new girlfriends with similar goals and hangout with them.
Click to expand...

just because I go out does not mean that i drink. I very rarely drink and I don't eat bar food.
 
NOEChic said:
But he has never put down a black woman in my presence. He told me the story about why he started dating outside of our race once and then he started putting down the WHITE women that we see, not black.
Click to expand...

What's the story?
 
Volver_Alma_Gitana said:
Why not go out with girlfriends and not a guy? He's not actually a friend but a "going-out" guy? That's a date, no matter how you look at it. Can I ask you if you'd befriend a nazi or ku klux klown? No. So, why befriend this auto-racist guy? He's a racist. You SHOULD care that he hates Black women...because YOU ARE ONE.
Click to expand...

I NEVER said he HATES black women. He just don't DATE black women.
 
SND411 said:
What's the story?
Click to expand...

basically he went to invite a chick (he didn't know) to something and before he can open his mouth she went off on him. he was like is all black women like this? he was young at the time.
 
freelove said:
I still don't why you have to hang out with him. I don't speak to everyone I work with and I have no problems working out alone. You need to develop some independence.
Click to expand...

i have them, but i tend not to have them in a foreign country. i just don't see myself really exploring a place by myself where i can't read or understand the language
 
NOEChic said:
basically he went to invite a chick (he didn't know) to something and before he can open his mouth she went off on him. he was like is all black women like this? he was young at the time.
Click to expand...

That's it? Not only is he a jacka$$ he's also an idiot.
 
NOEChic said:
but dont hate black women, he puts down white women
Click to expand...


I gotta read the OP again...I thought I distinctly read where he didn't date Black women and disdained them...:look: Gurl, whatever the case, you need real friends...he's toxic like poison.

Edit:

NOEChic said:
I say he is black because it is relevant to the story.

Ok so this black dude seems nice enough whatever. He don't like black chicks, that is fine I don't care we are not dating. He has been married twice, both weren't black, he has 3 kids, 1 with each of his ex-wives, and one with his current (non-black) girlfriend. We hang out because I need a going out partner that is not trying to get in my pants and he needs some to keep him from getting smashed all the time.

Well EVERY TIME we go out, he keeps asking me about chicks he see. Normally, I am like cool it is what it is. I normally don't care because again we are not dating. But it seems like it EVERY white (non-black) chick regardless if they are cute or not, he looking them up and down and licking his chops.

Then if a chick is a little chunky, he calls them fat all the time. I am not thin by any means at all and I have told him about calling people fat. Also he calls the chicks ugly. That is how he will ask me about them "What's up with that fat ugly chick?" To him vajayjay is vajayjay and regardless if they are fat and ugly he will still try to hit.

But the killingest part about his whole story is he has a teenage daughter that is fat and not cute AT ALL. It kills because I know dudes be thinking the same thing about his daughter and he would probably have a fit. Plus he is not that cute himself. Also did I tell you he is in his 40s:look:
Click to expand...

That's all I need to reread.
 
Last edited:
Volver_Alma_Gitana said:
I gotta read the OP again...I thought I distinctly read where he didn't date Black women and disdained them...:look: Gurl, whatever the case, you need real friends...he's toxic like poison.
Click to expand...

I never said who he put down. I just said that he puts down fat ugly women.

Everyone just assumed that it was black women he put down in reality he ONLY puts down WHITE women.
 
Volver_Alma_Gitana said:
I gotta read the OP again...I thought I distinctly read where he didn't date Black women and disdained them...:look: Gurl, whatever the case, you need real friends...he's toxic like poison.

Edit:



That's all I need to reread.
Click to expand...

he don't like to DATE black women. he likes to date white women and put down white women
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

T
....So I met this guy and he tells me.......
Replies
24
Views
615
CinnaMocha
CinnaMocha
ebonyhair
What is wrong with this dude???
2
Replies
31
Views
745
sunshinelady
sunshinelady
B
Do you all think this is rude? vent (long)
Replies
21
Views
608
Riverwalk
R
Dee_33
Just have to vent
Replies
20
Views
396
Filmatic
F
Aniyasmommy
What this dude did to me ....
Replies
27
Views
753
blaqueskimo
B
Back
Top