There has to be an easier way.....

[anon123]

Usually I agree with your points but you lost me here. Just because we wore our hair short in history does not mean that's how our hair is supposed to be.

So why do you think various cultures almost unanimously reached the same conclusion? That keeping it braided or tied up most of the time, or otherwise kept short, was the way to go? Chance?

My question to you is, if your hair was "meant" to be anything else, why is it so hard? Why do you search for an answer for years only to not find it? That right there should tell you that that is not how it's meant to be.

But anyway, if our hair was meant to be braided, kept short, blah blah blah...why does it have to take so much energy to do any of those things. Braiding hair requires a skill that most people aren't born with. Keeping it short means continuously cutting it and if you want it to be neat, you need someone who knows how to cut hair. And anyway why would God give us hair just to tell us to cut it? Makes no sense. That's like saying as women, we are SUPPOSED to shave the hair on our legs or something. I'm sure keeping dreads neat and clean is something that requires skill as well. There is nothing "natural" about anything that you mentioned we must do. It's all something else we invented or decided to do to our hair and in my opinion, it's no different than the OPs frustration at not being able to style her hair the way she wants to.

As opposed to women of almost any other race where they can wash their hair and airdry it and not experience breakage or wash it and put it in a ponytail without needing a bunch of gels, moisturizers, etc. Or just wash it and BE, we don't have that luxury. We have to braid, or cut, or blow it out like you suggested. Just face it, for most of us, our hair is extremely difficult AND frustrating.

It takes little skill to cut hair in a short cropped afro, especially if it's short. And it certainly takes less skill than all the other things we try to force our hair to do, no?

Also, you can wash your hair and let it be, too. If it's short or locked. Though if it's locked, you might not want to wash it daily, it takes so long to dry.

I know what you're saying, because I've been frustrated, too. You can search and find rants about my hair from me on this very board. But what I am telling you to face is that the reason your hair is difficult is because you are asking it to do things it wasn't meant to do. Maybe I want to be 5'7". I'm mad because some girls can see parades without having to stand on something and I'm short. Does that mean something is wrong with my body? No. Maybe someone wishes their toes were shaped differently, or their knees looked like whatever, butt looked like whatever, and so forth. But them wishing they had something that looked like someone else's doesn't mean anything is wrong with their body. Just because you want a part of you to do something or be like something else doesn't mean there's anything wrong! All it means is you want something you don't have.

@judy4all when I say braiding isn't "natural" I don't mean it in the way you are thinking...I simply mean that it's something that requires skill or at least the ability to know how to do. No other race has to possess a "skill" in order to do their hair. That's what all I mean when I say it's not natural. BTW, I see nothing wrong with braiding hair or anything.

Um, all people need skill to know how to fix their hair in the style that is deemed acceptable by their group. Ever hear of non-black people say they got "a bad haircut"? How so, if it required no skill and anyone could do it? Why didn't they do it themselves? The braids I have in right now are the type I learned to do on My Little Pony when I was in elementary school. Minimal skill. The only difference is, we live in a society that might be hostile to the types of styles that are most reasonable for our type of hair. Again, this is not a problem with our hair, this is a problem with people's mindsets.

Let me tell you, an Indonesian guy I know wanted to get cornrows. He thought they were so cool. He kept his in for 4 or 5 days, which is more than I expected! He's probably wondering why he'd have to get his redone every 4-5 days while black people can keep theirs in for a month. Mindset.

Why is it only black people who think they can't wash their hair, but mixed people with the same exact hair type don't think twice before doing it?

I'm not sure what hair type you are talking about, but the only way I can wash my hair daily is if it is short (less than a few inches) or I have dreadlocks. Otherwise, my hair will mat up and try to form dreadlocks anyway. Combing hair out daily in an effort to prevent the matting will break the hair off, and it takes too much time. I know this because I've tried it. Like OP, I was frustrated with my hair and tried SO MANY things. Seriously, there is nothing new anyone on this board can tell me to try. I've been on hair boards for 4 1/2 years now and heard and tried it all.

 

[silenttullip]

lol you must just be skimming the comments. My answer was too much washing can create sebum issue from some of us. It can also create dryness
we CAN wash our hair everyday I can if I wanted but it just isn't necessary.

Nobody is answering the question of why we can't wash our hair every day. Is it because you guys don't like your texture to wash daily? I still don't get it. Any type of texture can wash their hair daily. If you want your hair to be wavy, texturize or relax it and then you can wash daily and have good-smelling waves. Otherwise you can still wash your hair daily and have great smelling hair clean hair. If you want to wash and wear it up then grow it out. I'm not seeing the problem? I've seen at least a few people who are mixed, like japanese or asian or whtie with black, and they have type 4 hair that's coarser than mine and wash their hair daily. It's soft, smells good, and they have a lot of it on their heads. Why is it only black people who think they can't wash their hair, but mixed people with the same exact hair type don't think twice before doing it?

 

[yuhlovevybz]

lol you must just be skimming the comments. My answer was too much washing can create sebum issue from some of us. It can also create dryness
we CAN wash our hair everyday I can if I wanted but it just isn't necessary.

No I'm not skimming...it was after I posted that that people started explaining exactly what the issue was with washing their hair, I was starting to get confused. I guess I don't have the same hair type which is why I'm ignorant to the other ladies problems, I've never been through it myself.

What about using a moisturizing shampoo and adding oil to scalp afterwards? That would help with dryness and sebum issue. I don't even know what sebum is. It's the natural oil that the scalp secrets, right?

 

[JudithO]

If you tell a fish to climb a tree...

^^^^^^^^^^^^^

 

[silenttullip]

yes, so if sebum is oil stripping it away daily will just make your scalp produce more. Moisturizing shampoo is fine but even that every day can lead to mushiness due to over moisturizing or still dryness depending on surfactants and moisturizers in the ingredients list. Most other thinner types need to shampoo daily because the sebum goes down their strands making the hair and scalp oily. With many people with thicker hair we tend to have dryer scalps and even if it's oily like mine the sebum still doesn't go down the length so shampooing daily would make my scalp oiler and my length dryer even if I conditioned each time. Even other hair types and all races are realizing daily washing is not necessary also I figure you were skimming because you stated no one answer right below my answer but no biggie

No I'm not skimming...it was after I posted that that people started explaining exactly what the issue was with washing their hair, I was starting to get confused. I guess I don't have the same hair type which is why I'm ignorant to the other ladies problems, I've never been through it myself.

What about using a moisturizing shampoo and adding oil to scalp afterwards? That would help with dryness and sebum issue. I don't even know what sebum is. It's the natural oil that the scalp secrets, right?

 

[ellebelle88]

So why do you think various cultures almost unanimously reached the same conclusion? That keeping it braided or tied up most of the time, or otherwise kept short, was the way to go? Chance?

My question to you is, if your hair was "meant" to be anything else, why is it so hard? Why do you search for an answer for years only to not find it? That right there should tell you that that is not how it's meant to be.


It takes little skill to cut hair in a short cropped afro, especially if it's short. And it certainly takes less skill than all the other things we try to force our hair to do, no?

Also, you can wash your hair and let it be, too. If it's short or locked. Though if it's locked, you might not want to wash it daily, it takes so long to dry.

I know what you're saying, because I've been frustrated, too. You can search and find rants about my hair from me on this very board. But what I am telling you to face is that the reason your hair is difficult is because you are asking it to do things it wasn't meant to do. Maybe I want to be 5'7". I'm mad because some girls can see parades without having to stand on something and I'm short. Does that mean something is wrong with my body? No. Maybe someone wishes their toes were shaped differently, or their knees looked like whatever, butt looked like whatever, and so forth. But them wishing they had something that looked like someone else's doesn't mean anything is wrong with their body. Just because you want a part of you to do something or be like something else doesn't mean there's anything wrong! All it means is you want something you don't have.



Um, all people need skill to know how to fix their hair in the style that is deemed acceptable by their group. Ever hear of non-black people say they got "a bad haircut"? How so, if it required no skill and anyone could do it? Why didn't they do it themselves? The braids I have in right now are the type I learned to do on My Little Pony when I was in elementary school. Minimal skill. The only difference is, we live in a society that might be hostile to the types of styles that are most reasonable for our type of hair. Again, this is not a problem with our hair, this is a problem with people's mindsets.

Let me tell you, an Indonesian guy I know wanted to get cornrows. He thought they were so cool. He kept his in for 4 or 5 days, which is more than I expected! He's probably wondering why he'd have to get his redone every 4-5 days while black people can keep theirs in for a month. Mindset.

I have a friend from Zimbabwe who once told me they kept their hair short over their because of how dusty it can get. So because the water wasn't always clean, they weren't always able to wash their hair. She also mentioned that there are alot of diseases which often ravage certain parts of Africa. And I wanna say she talked about the heat. Most women cut their hair to avoid being hot. I'm more inclined to believe those reasons rather than they kept their hair short because that's the way that African hair should be. There are other factors that I think you failed to take into account.

I'm in the academy as well, working on my PhD, so I know its seems right to throw out choice-words like "conforming" and all that jazz whenever someone says or does something that "seems" in line with European standards. I really don't think some of you are getting what I'm trying to say cuz everyone wants to automatically think I want my hair to behave like a white woman's, LOL! Like I said, I'm not even trying to straighten it. I just want to keep it detangled and moisturized and I just wish I didn't have to think about my hair all of the time. If having healthy, moisturized, detangled hair is a European concept to anyone and you think I should stop trying to "force" my hair to be healthy, then see it how you see it. My hair is my crowning glory, why wouldn't I want it to be healthy in all of its natural state?

I think its okay to disagree. So I'm not gonna try to explain my side anymore. Happy Hair Growing everyone.

 

[10WordzOrLess]

^dreaded hair is unhealthy?^

 

[ellebelle88]

^dreaded hair is unhealthy?^

Wow! There people go putting words in my mouth again. How sad! When did I mention that? If I have to break it down elementary style, I just want healthy hair but I'm not interested in all of the extra braiding it, senegalese twisting it, straightening it, cutting it (and since you mentioned it) dreading it. I don't know how many times I've said this in so many words. I give up!

 

[LovelyNaps26]

I have a friend from Zimbabwe who once told me they kept their hair short over their because of how dusty it can get. So because the water wasn't always clean, they weren't always able to wash their hair. She also mentioned that there are alot of diseases which often ravage certain parts of Africa. And I wanna say she talked about the heat. Most women cut their hair to avoid being hot. I'm more inclined to believe those reasons rather than they kept their hair short because that's the way that African hair should be. There are other factors that I think you failed to take into account.

I'm in the academy as well, working on my PhD, so I know its seems right to throw out choice-words like "conforming" and all that jazz whenever someone says or does something that "seems" in line with European standards. I really don't think some of you are getting what I'm trying to say cuz everyone wants to automatically think I want my hair to behave like a white woman's, LOL! Like I said, I'm not even trying to straighten it. I just want to keep it detangled and moisturized and I just wish I didn't have to think about my hair all of the time. If having healthy, moisturized, detangled hair is a European concept to anyone and you think I should stop trying to "force" my hair to be healthy, then see it how you see it. My hair is my crowning glory, why wouldn't I want it to be healthy in all of its natural state?

I think its okay to disagree. So I'm not gonna try to explain my side anymore. Happy Hair Growing everyone.

having moisturized hair is not a Eurocentric ideal and I don't recall reading a post suggessting such. I think we're discussing difference in technique not texture or even 'look'. Our TECHNIQUE is different and i think that's okay. some stuff they do is easier, like detangling and some stuff we do is easier like long term styling.

This might not sound exciting but: maybe there isn't an easier way. There I said it. I thought about it, accepted it and then felt "Well, okay I guess I'll roll with the punches then" It actually got easier for me over time but that's only b/c i learned which steps I could cut out of my reggie w/o causing setbacks.

I feel you though, I was FRUSTRATED at one point. Now, I'm willing to accept what I need to do to keep my hair moisturized and retaining length. After a while I've just embraced.

Oh, I've been natural since 2004

 

[yuhlovevybz]

Wow! There people go putting words in my mouth again. How sad! When did I mention that? If I have to break it down elementary style, I just want healthy hair but I'm not interested in all of the extra braiding it, senegalese twisting it, straightening it, cutting it (and since you mentioned it) dreading it. I don't know how many times I've said this in so many words. I give up!

Everyone gotta do it though. White people don't wake up in the morning with butt length hair. And believe it or not, plenty wear extensions. I know a couple of white chicks from my highschool who got extensions and I was like...eww wtf? They need to get hair cuts and get it straightened too. Then you have white people with limp thin hair that will always be limp and thin and they can't do anything about it. Or the ones with frizzy hair that isn't cute frizzy but ugly frizzy and they can't fix that either. They complain and tease each other just as brutally as black folks do. Some do definitely have it easy, but then again there always seem to be the black chicks who look like they have it easy too. There was one girl with my type hair who just washed her hair daily and put it in a big curly puff. Her hair was mbl straightened and she could straighten it and leave it alone for two weeks. IMO, that's having it easy.

 

[yuhlovevybz]

Oh yea *snaps fingers* here's one different!

How many black people would you say have had natural as in not chemically processed hair their entire life?

How many white people would you say have had natural as in not chemicaly processed hair heir entire life?

If Sarah has been dealing with her hair since she was 8 and Shaquondinika big chopped three years ago, Sarah knows everything to know about doing her hair while Shaquondinika isn't used to hers yet and it's gonna take a learning curve before she knows what she can and cant do to it

 

[luckiestdestiny]

Im not going to lie, if i could change my hair type i would. I want long hair. My coworker and i started on the same day years ago her hair was in a bob. Several years later her hair is now down to her butt and she cuts off inches several times a year. Why cant my hair grow this fast? Why does it take so much for my hair to retain length?

I luv my hair because its the hair im born with and i have no other choice but to accept it and take care of it. But i do wish it was easier.

Sorry so long but I can't condense this:
I'm mentioning this for the 4's out there as I feel sometimes 4a and b and xyz (as ppl keep coming up with other names ) tend to forget our hair grows just as fast as not only other hair types, but even other races. The average is 1/2 an inch a month period.


It may also be what you're doing to your hair. Though your hair type is "born into", it is not an inferior class (I mention this because I felt like you were like "ah the burden"), and won't grow slower than your friends, unless she has accelerated growth or you have slower growth (1/4 or 1/8th an inch a month). And even then, see longhairdon'tcare2011 on youtube and see how far you can get in 5 years. It's up to you to find out and commit to a plan that will get you where you need to go.

I think of it this way:
1) There's nothing wrong with my hair

2) The techniques that others use just don't always apply to it and there's nothing wrong with me, what's wrong is that everyone tries to insist that I use those techniques: small combs, crazy brushing, specific shampoos formulated to remove oil that my hair needs, etc.

3) Thus it's simply about finding out what works for me and realizing that it's not a burden...it's just me.

4) If the world was reversed, other groups would complain that their hair was too oily, that the braiding was possibly damaging their hair, and why can't they have kinky or curly hair? They just have to accept the hair they were "born into". Rappers would say things like they want a girls hair to curl when they step out of the pool versus that other thread with that silly guy who was ashamed of his own race, saying he didn't want a nappy headed woman out of the pool (I mean really! You're black. Your mom's black. There's nothing wrong with your hair unless you're ashamed of who you are). People would wish to have their hair curl instead of the other way around and would be upset that they always look like a hot mess because the conditioners are too rich for their hair type and what the heck are they supposed to do with shea butter. But alas, it's not. And still there's nothing wrong with me. It just means a group dominated cultures, thought about their needs, and provided information, and beauty guidelines with that in mind. That's their problem not mine.

 

[aquajoyice]

aquajoyice Nonie Thanks for chiming in ladies....

I've been natural almost 4 years now, been relaxed every time in my life before that so I still haven't gotten to a place where my hair texture is my "nature" (as much as I would love it to be). I also get bored with my hair relatively easily... so I think I just need to define 1. What I want my hair to be while understanding its limitations 2. Figure out how to get there... I know PS'ing 24/7 is definitely not my preference... One day at a time.

That's totally understandable. It takes time but remember it's just hair and at the end of the day your choice to play with. Have fun and if it gets you down try something different. The good thing is the forum is here to catch you when you fall

 

[luckiestdestiny]

Extra two cents about your friend's Bobbed hair and her three year trek to almost booty length (well you said several years for her so I assume 3) which you seem to think is impossible for this type of hair (or implied). Do some searching around lhcf.

Or another example is right here in this post. Just look down below these words. See the pinki strip to see my journey. Those pics in the middle and right were taken last Jan 2011 with the first one before taken a little over a year before that. Following that time line it was a little over a year from my trek from shoulder length bob (and I was leaning a little, heartbroken after a cut. If my head was straight up, it would've been an inch past shoulder) to almost waistlength Jan 2011( with no lean required and that's with tons of 1 inch trims and I'm just short by 1/4 inch of 5'5 in height). This year my goal is tailbone (and I have to chop off two more inches but will still get there) with a projected date that will fit into that same time frame, if not sooner and I believe it will be sooner than your friends (so other hair types can also achieve this time frame or quicker. It's something that we can do if we retain every inch.)

 

[10WordzOrLess]

If having healthy, moisturized, detangled hair is a European…

Whoa. Just wondering about this^







You can stay mad though.

 

[My Friend]

If you tell a fish to climb a tree...

I am slooooo. Please tell me what this means.

 

[Ogoma]

Black people use "we" way too much. It is almost as if some people cannot fathom their experience just might not be universal.

I am a mix of 4a/b, co-wash regularly, cleanse weekly, and leave my hair out. My detangling sessions are 20-30 minutes tops and I detangle with fingers before using a wide tooth comb. I am retaining length. I don't need all these hair products, but I like playing with hair products. There is a difference. I have cleansed my hair with bentonite clay, sealed with castor oil and my hair stayed moisturized for two days (it seemed fine day 3, but I need to co-wash after a workout). I actually do not find my hair hard to deal with at all. Ironically, I found it to be much more work when it was shorter . I am also African (Nigerian) with no admixture whatsoever.

I wish OP all the best because it must be frustrating not being happy or bored with your hair. I am curious what you did when you were bored with your hair when it was relaxed.

 

[10WordzOrLess]

I am slooooo. Please tell me what this means.

Basically, everything has its place in nature/own pupose.

 

[luckiestdestiny]

I have a friend from Zimbabwe who once told me they kept their hair short over their because of how dusty it can get. So because the water wasn't always clean, they weren't always able to wash their hair. She also mentioned that there are alot of diseases which often ravage certain parts of Africa. And I wanna say she talked about the heat. Most women cut their hair to avoid being hot. I'm more inclined to believe those reasons rather than they kept their hair short because that's the way that African hair should be. There are other factors that I think you failed to take into account.

I'm in the academy as well, working on my PhD, so I know its seems right to throw out choice-words like "conforming" and all that jazz whenever someone says or does something that "seems" in line with European standards. I really don't think some of you are getting what I'm trying to say cuz everyone wants to automatically think I want my hair to behave like a white woman's, LOL! Like I said, I'm not even trying to straighten it. I just want to keep it detangled and moisturized and I just wish I didn't have to think about my hair all of the time. If having healthy, moisturized, detangled hair is a European concept to anyone and you think I should stop trying to "force" my hair to be healthy, then see it how you see it. My hair is my crowning glory, why wouldn't I want it to be healthy in all of its natural state?

I think its okay to disagree. So I'm not gonna try to explain my side anymore. Happy Hair Growing everyone.

Please don't think that you're being attacked. We're having a discussion here. And no one is thinking, at least I'm not, that you want to be European. Some styles are just easier for our hair type and some aren't (and I mentioned in my post about type of hair not race...as OP mentions type 4's). I will say I have nothing against, or think less of anyone who is relaxed, etc. But when you're talking about natural 4's...I'm going to say that there are certain things that help me to keep retaining 100% so I can get to my goal faster.

My hair is always moisturized and detangled. Having hair that's moisturized and detangled is not a european concept. We're just telling the ways in which we make sure that happens. And if you're trying to grow hair to a certain length, listening to others who have gotten there and have dealt with challenges that you are facing might be helpful for you.

 

[discodumpling]

This thread and threads like it make it all to clear that the love and care of our hair must start early!! I'm talking like in the womb....some chicks in here sound so broken and forlorn I don't think anything the hairboard vets and gurus say will change their opinions of their hard to manage undesireable hair. LHCF is not able to offer THAT type of therapy. Good luck!

 

[CountryBumpkin]

Do you ever think... there must be an easier way?? I really believe God made everything perfect including my hair... but sometimes I wonder.. why can some people wash their hair every single day, comb out and be gone... and I can't? Heck why can't I just comb my hair for the heck of it... why do I have to understand all these things? Porosity? Density? Texture? Read labels? Steam? Wear bags over my head? Not swim with some peace of mind? Why does it have to be so hard to keep hair on my head? For some naturals it may be easier, but for others with hair textures like mine @mwedzi @Nonie .. there has to be an easier way than staying in braids 24/7.. or spending 5 hrs to detangle.... Someone once commented on my YT channel that people with my hair texture (including her) are meant to be in dreadlocks... I laughed at that comment then but I'm starting to believe...

There must be an easier way to have this hair texture without getting a perm... Wishful thinking maybe? Maybe we haven't discovered it yet... or maybe i'm meant to be bald.... lol...

oh, but there IS an easier way. (see avatar pic...)

 

[bride91501]

This thread and threads like it make it all to clear that the love and care of our hair must start early!! I'm talking like in the womb....some chicks in here sound so broken and forlorn I don't think anything the hairboard vets and gurus say will change their opinions of their hard to manage undesireable hair. LHCF is not able to offer THAT type of therapy. Good luck!

Because 1 thanks was just not enough.

The thing I've taken from this thread is to continue to instill in my 3 DDs' heads that their hair is BEAUTIFUL as is despite whatever messages they receive from the outside world.

I'm also reminded that they'll never know any hair-joy beyond the kinks on their on heads thank God. Our home is designated mostly kinky/relaxer-free (no offense to the relaxed sisters on the board, but #ijs...)

 

[JudithO]

Ogoma heyyyy.... what state u from in nigeria? Ok back to the topic? oh i got bored with my relaxed hair. But i really didnt have to worry about it like i worry about my hair currently. And yes, i have a lot of nigerian friends who have 3C/4a and a lot of AA friends that have 4Z like i do.. so i dont think ethnicity has much to do with it.

I just feel like my hair texture may require more patience, skill and hardwork than some of you have to put in thats all... and sometimes its frustrating.... no self hatred.. i dont think my hair is ugly... not that serious....

 

[bride91501]

^^judy4all - I for one understand what you're saying. I think the point you may be missing, however, is that if you don't give yourself an alternative....that is, if you become **TRULY** content with the hair that is on your head, knowing you have no other option but to make it work, I think you'd begin to see your situation differently.

Just my 2 cents.

 

[anon123]

I have a friend from Zimbabwe who once told me they kept their hair short over their because of how dusty it can get. So because the water wasn't always clean, they weren't always able to wash their hair. She also mentioned that there are alot of diseases which often ravage certain parts of Africa. And I wanna say she talked about the heat. Most women cut their hair to avoid being hot. I'm more inclined to believe those reasons rather than they kept their hair short because that's the way that African hair should be. There are other factors that I think you failed to take into account.

I'm in the academy as well, working on my PhD, so I know its seems right to throw out choice-words like "conforming" and all that jazz whenever someone says or does something that "seems" in line with European standards. I really don't think some of you are getting what I'm trying to say cuz everyone wants to automatically think I want my hair to behave like a white woman's, LOL! Like I said, I'm not even trying to straighten it. I just want to keep it detangled and moisturized and I just wish I didn't have to think about my hair all of the time. If having healthy, moisturized, detangled hair is a European concept to anyone and you think I should stop trying to "force" my hair to be healthy, then see it how you see it. My hair is my crowning glory, why wouldn't I want it to be healthy in all of its natural state?

I think its okay to disagree. So I'm not gonna try to explain my side anymore. Happy Hair Growing everyone.

I didn't say anything about white people or Europe, actually. I just said "someone else's hair." That may be white, Asian, other black people, whatever. The point is, that's not your hair. And I also didn't say trying to get it to behave like a white woman's hair. I'm talking about trying to get it to behave like any hair that is not your own. There are plenty of black women on this forum who can do things to their hair I can't.

Yo, I was in Zimbabwe for a bit, too. I washed my hair there. It's pretty funny that they cut their hair to keep from being hot, yet wear long heavy braids with fake hair that are even hotter, no?

Your hair can be healthy in its natural state. I think you just have a false sense of what is "healthy" and "natural state." There are few cultures where people do absolutely nothing to their hair except wash, and in the cultures that do, what do they have? Locks! You seem to think braids, short afros, and dreadlocks are not our "natural state." Wow. So what is? A long afro? Given the amount of effort it takes me to detangle long hair, I find that hard to believe (for me, personal experience). What is more natural than letting your hair lock?

Hair is also like art, decoration, and we can do what we want to it, so if you don't like those styles, that's one thing. But to say they are less our natural state than a long loose afro? Really short hair, braids, and locks require less work than combing out my long, loose afro, so what is the reasoning behind considering it to be more "natural"? None of it is unmanipulated, and in fact, wearing it long and loose requires the most manipulation.

It's funny, because in one breath you are saying that the styles I described aren't our hair's natural state, and in the very next you are talking about how getting it do something else is sooooo hard. Why is it hard, then? :scratchch I mean, stay mad at your hair if you want! Just trying to give you and anyone else reading another way to look at it so you don't have to be mad at it all the time.

Happy hair growing to you, too!

 

[Ogoma]

Ogoma heyyyy.... what state u from in nigeria? Ok back to the topic? oh i got bored with my relaxed hair. But i really didnt have to worry about it like i worry about my hair currently. And yes, i have a lot of nigerian friends who have 3C/4a and a lot of AA friends that have 4Z like i do.. so i dont think ethnicity has much to do with it.

I just feel like my hair texture may require more patience, skill and hardwork than some of you have to put in thats all... and sometimes its frustrating.... no self hatred.. i dont think my hair is ugly... not that serious....

I am from Anambra state.

I think the discussion devolved into curl type, as usual, but I think your challenges are probably due to your fine hair texture. My hair texture ranges from medium to coarse so I don't see breakage when I handle my hair correctly (and I handle my hair a lot) except when I go crazy with protein.

I understand it gets frustrating sometimes, but I hate how the crux of these discussions always seems to be comparisons with other hair types with type 4 coming up behind. I am not discounting anyone else's experience, but I don't think my hair is harder than my fine textured, straight-haired SO. I would hate to have to shampoo my hair everyday and (while he doesn't notice it, it drives me nuts) the shed hair all over the place.

There is a wealth of fantastic information on this site and the discussions in the off-topic forum offer a fascinating (and oh soooo fun to read) insight into the craziness of the human mind, but I think it is good to take a break every now and then. I think being on this board too much can make one feel like their hair is a bit of a burden.

 

[luckiestdestiny]

Do you ever think... there must be an easier way?? I really believe God made everything perfect including my hair... but sometimes I wonder.. why can some people wash their hair every single day, comb out and be gone... and I can't? Heck why can't I just comb my hair for the heck of it... why do I have to understand all these things? Porosity? Density? Texture? Read labels? Steam? Wear bags over my head? Not swim with some peace of mind? Why does it have to be so hard to keep hair on my head? For some naturals it may be easier, but for others with hair textures like mine @mwedzi @Nonie .. there has to be an easier way than staying in braids 24/7.. or spending 5 hrs to detangle.... Someone once commented on my YT channel that people with my hair texture (including her) are meant to be in dreadlocks... I laughed at that comment then but I'm starting to believe...

There must be an easier way to have this hair texture without getting a perm... Wishful thinking maybe? Maybe we haven't discovered it yet... or maybe i'm meant to be bald.... lol...

I am from Anambra state.

I think the discussion devolved into curl type, as usual, but I think your challenges are probably due to your fine hair texture. My hair texture ranges from medium to coarse so I don't see breakage when I handle my hair correctly (and I handle my hair a lot) except when I go crazy with protein.

I understand it gets frustrating sometimes, but I hate how the crux of these discussions always seems to be comparisons with other hair types with type 4 coming up behind. I am not discounting anyone else's experience, but I don't think my hair is harder than my fine textured, straight-haired SO. I would hate to have to shampoo my hair everyday and (while he doesn't notice it, it drives me nuts) the shed hair all over the place.

There is a wealth of fantastic information on this site and the discussions in the off-topic forum offer a fascinating (and oh soooo fun to read) insight into the craziness of the human mind, but I think it is good to take a break every now and then. I think being on this board too much can make one feel like their hair is a bit of a burden.

See first quote. IT didn't devolve...it started with an issue with a specific type. The ppl she mentioned as examples are in the 4 category (actually b to be specific but I chimed in as I'm also in the 4 category and I believe our hair has similar characteristics). The reason this type is being discussed is because of OP. She came in mentioning her hair type in ref to things being so hard. So we weren't dividing and conquering so to speak. It's okay to just speak about a specific type...sometimes one size does not fit all. Heck it doesn't fit all even in those categories (I don't baggy for instance and Nonie does)...but I find that it's easier to find someone with a similar hairtype that they might understand specific issues that another hair type won't.

It's something you mentioned...someone with oily hair complaining...I can't relate. I can empathize but if I start using an oil stripping shampoo that they use my hair will be a hot mess itself. When people say hair is hair they're lying. Not all hair is alike. BUt different categories have different needs...and some of them are similar enough (the needs) that a person may find some helpful solutions by listening to their advice...and even still we're all humans with unique issues that apply to us (so nothing is one size fits all).

 

[JudithO]

mwedzi ellebelle88

I think you both are on the same side... just mixing ideas up.

Ellebelle88 agrees that locks and braids are natural and perhaps how our type is meant to be be kept. However, she is less than pleased with the idea that she has to do more work than other pple to maintain it in its natural state if she wants long hair. I'm right here btw

Mwedzi on the other hand has accepted that in order to have long beautiful hair with our texture... braiding is our norm... not washing and going. She has accepted that our norm takes much longer. And more skill than everyone else's and is content with that.

See... same side... we (myself and elle) just need to get to where mwedzi is.

 

[Arian]

*ahem* In an attempt to turn the thread around, I will add that I am a type 4 and my honest belief is when I made my regimen simpler, things got a whole lot better for me. Co-Wash mostly and wash and DC whenever my scalp feels itchy or my hair feels greasy. What's important is to make some decisions about products (that work) and STICK WITH THEM. That "there's something else out there that's better" attitude doesn't always work with hair products. (And you may not have mentioned anything about switching products originally, but I thought I would say it anyway. )

To help with detangling, sometimes I wet and oil my strands and pick them apart before washing. This helps some....and it's still not perfect.

Last thing, I decided not to make my hair the end all-be all of my life. Believe me, I was OBSESSED. I would go to the bathroom every five minutes looking for SSKs. I would feel my strands constantly, picking with them until I could get to a pair of scissors and cut them out. It was crazy for a minute! But now, when I see them, I cut them out--no more searching for them. And if I get a few broken strands on a wash day, I realize that sometimes hair will break and as long as it is not obsessive, it's ok.

 

[discodumpling]

@Ogoma heyyyy.... what state u from in nigeria? Ok back to the topic? oh i got bored with my relaxed hair. But i really didnt have to worry about it like i worry about my hair currently. And yes, i have a lot of nigerian friends who have 3C/4a and a lot of AA friends that have 4Z like i do.. so i dont think ethnicity has much to do with it.

I just feel like my hair texture may require more patience, skill and hardwork than some of you have to put in thats all... and sometimes its frustrating.... no self hatred.. i dont think my hair is ugly... not that serious....

Girl bye. Nobody has to put in work for YOUR hair but YOUMy (or anybody else on this board) level of patience, skill and my willingness to work hard has nothing to do with the level of or lack of care you treat your own locs with.

...it may not be self hatred but it's SOMETHING else that I can't quite put my finger on. self acceptance? ...it's quite draining so I shall leave you all to your self destructive thoughts. I'm busy raising black boys and girls and this type of thinkign is detrimental to their very beings.