There has to be an easier way.....

prettypithy said:
judy4all Definitely wasn't insinuating that! You have given back to the community with your videos and such so I think you can ask as many questions as you want!:yep:
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prettypithy so sorry if it sounded like i directed that at u... i didnt think u were insinuating that at all...it was just a general comment ... i just feel like ive been complaining alot both on here and on yt... thought i havent been doing it intentionally, it doesnt help me or anyone else... this hair is just slowly taking over my life... lol... and i refuse to enslaved by my own hair... :)
 
ellebelle88 we can. I honestly do not beleive that any texture will not be able to wash hair daily without negative affects. You can't tell me that. When I wear my hair curly during the summer I either shampoo or co-wash every day and my hair won't tangle AT ALL. Not a single knot, because just water and soap gives me enough slip so that I can detangle with my fingers under the shower. If you keep your hair clean then you won't suffer from product build up that will make it more coarse and dry than it naturally is. How many products are you using right now after you wash? If it's more than two, that's your problem right there. If you use gel, problem number two. Wax or grease, problem number 3. Go a couple weeks without these things while washing with a gentle sulfate shampoo and no or very few cones and see how your hair acts.

judy4all girl it is okay. I asked myself the same things maybe months ago and even a year ago, and sometimes I still get irritated. My hair just makes me mad sometimes because it does some odd things here and there. But I don't think it's complicated unless we want it to be. My hair was complicated when I was co-washing, then moisturizing, sealing, braiding, etc etc. It wasn't complicated when I came back from my run, got in the shower and washed it, sprayed in some leave in and then stuck it in a french braid. My hair isn't long at all so I stretch it and then bun it or do a wash and go puff/bun. If I wanna straighten it I will, but because I work out a lot it's pointless because I'll just need to wash it.

Tiye is completely right. If you saw a picture of my hair right now you would probably say my hair is type 4a/b. What you would'n't realize is that my hair doesn't curl at all, it consists of waves characteristic of a completely different hairtype. Then I could let my hair dry a bit, fluff it with my fingers and you would think I have the exact same hair type as Nonie. People have dictated so many things that we with black hair can or can't do, and you have to figure out for yourself what exactly your hair likes. Mine loves sulfates and hates protien and silk amino acids. Go figure.

We don't NEED to be in braids. I've had them before and they are super duper convenient, but not everybody wants to be in braids all the time even though they are beautiful when done right. I think you should only have to be in braids if you love to be in braids and for no other reason.
 
prettypithy... im not sure about your hair texture but u have to have my texture to feel what i feel. That aside, i agree with u somewhat. We cant try to make our hair what it isnt... but i cant go past 1 week without washing my hair... scalp is very dry and flaky... i cant go 3 months in braids ...will b bald by then.. and at bsb, extention braids are getting ruled out.. run the risk or them cutting my hair while trimming or having wsl braids... too heavy for my fine hair... some naturals have it 'easier' than others... id rather wash my hair for 20 minutes daily btw... than spend 5 hrs weekly..
 
judy4all said:
Do you ever think... there must be an easier way?? I really believe God made everything perfect including my hair... but sometimes I wonder.. why can some people wash their hair every single day, comb out and be gone... and I can't?
There must be an easier way to have this hair texture without getting a perm... Wishful thinking maybe? Maybe we haven't discovered it yet... or maybe i'm meant to be bald.... lol...
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Yes, I understand what you are trying to say. I would love to wash my hair everyday and get that clean fresh smell and for my hair to be straight without heat. I had a roommate in college who washed her hair everyday and did not put any product in her hair afterwards.. just left a little conditioner in it after rinse. Then put in ponytail and air dried... after it air dried, she could take it down and it would be wavy and clean smelling..She had very soft, wavy healthy hair. no work.
 
I felt like you from 05' - 10' until I learned about stretching with braids, washing in sec tions, oil rinsing, and dry finger detangling. I've been natural since 05 but only what I consider mostly healthy since mid 10'. I joined lhcf in 09 and it took a year of trail and error with products and techniques along with chicoro's book and a book ccalled healthy black hair. Now I can comb through my hair everyday (but I don't and won't because I don't feel it necessary" I can wash my hair everyday (but I don't and won't because well I just down wanna and imagine my scalp would have some sebum issues as a result because too much washing can cause extra oiliness) I guess my thought is if you relax and just look at it as making alterations and not that your hair can't things will go better. I don't know for sure but it's a thought. As for porousity and density my hair type and ect... I tried to get into all that but then I figured it's just more to consider. I don't feel my hair is over porous because it doesn't take days for it to dry I don't feel it has low porosity because its not dry 30 minutes after I wash unless I use a microfiber towel. Density I have no definite answer and my hair still thrives, so to end... It's only as hard, expensive, and complicated as you allow it to be.
 
Nobody is answering the question of why we can't wash our hair every day. Is it because you guys don't like your texture to wash daily? I still don't get it. Any type of texture can wash their hair daily. If you want your hair to be wavy, texturize or relax it and then you can wash daily and have good-smelling waves. Otherwise you can still wash your hair daily and have great smelling hair clean hair. If you want to wash and wear it up then grow it out. I'm not seeing the problem? I've seen at least a few people who are mixed, like japanese or asian or whtie with black, and they have type 4 hair that's coarser than mine and wash their hair daily. It's soft, smells good, and they have a lot of it on their heads. Why is it only black people who think they can't wash their hair, but mixed people with the same exact hair type don't think twice before doing it?
 
yuhlovevybz

I cant wash everyday bcos

1. My hair is too fine... all that manipulation will break it off.
2. How am i going to walk out of the house... I cant braid daily... or wet bun... i could blow dry daily but by month end ill b bald... i cant walk out in a fro if i dont want to spend the whole night detangling and crying over broken hair... i cant wash and go anywhere... so technically i can wash but not if i plan to have long hair...
 
@prettypithy no, but i didnt care to. Even if my hair was 3a... i probably wont wash daily.. evry other day maybe... but at least i have d option.... it takes quite some effort for my hair to look presentable by my standards..
 
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judy4all do you know all of this from experience? If a five-ten minute hair wash is too much manipulation, how is spending hours having hair detangled and then braided not too much?

And btw, unless you're african, you're mixed, so technically you're a mixed person with your hair texture.

I've seen a few, maybe they weren't exaclty your texture but still had very coarse hair. As hair gets longer, the texture starts to look different. Do you have any pics of what your hair looks like directly after washing? Have you tried to wash and go and leave in some conditioner to avoid tangling? Then just wash again in the morning? Does your hair shrink a lot or something?

When I was relaxed washing daily made my hair weak. I used strong relaxers tho.
 
prettypithy said:
"As opposed to women of almost any other race where they can wash their hair and airdry it and not experience breakage or wash it and put it in a ponytail without needing a bunch of gels, moisturizers, etc."

One thing that strikes me about this thread is how distorted our attitudes are about our hair. We think of others as having an easier road but I'm not convinced that is true. For instance, they have to wash their every day or else face stinking, oily hair. I don't have to do that. In fact, I could wash my hair once a month and not have that problem. So, who has it harder? Me because I spend two hours on wash day? Or them because they spend twenty minutes a day, adding up to roughly the same time? For some reason, we have all elevated wash n' go hair to the height of luxury but why? If I braid my hair, I don't have to do a d*mn thing to it for almost three months--why isn't THAT the height of luxury?

Basically, I don't understand why we have collectively as a group accepted the fallacy that our hair is "hard" and everyone else's is "easy." And to be honest, when I used to feel that way, my hair WAS hard. It was hard because it FELT hard because I was trying to take care of my hair like it was someone else's hair. Trying to fit a round peg into a square hole. As soon as I grabbed the square peg, it glided in. It is all in the mindset.
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I think your response might have missed my point...My point is that we often have to do "something" to our hair and that something often requires a lot of work. Period. It's never as simple as just washing your hair. You mentioned braiding it could be seen as luxury. Ok fine, if you like wearing braids for three months (which means you're wearing weaves b/c there ain't no way you can wear your real hair like that for 3 months) and that's luxury to you so be it. I hate braids. Any kind of braids. So that's not luxury to me.

Luxury to me is having my own hair on my head and it being easy to manipulate and not requiring me to think about constantly moisturizing it or detangling it or thinking twice before I get in a pool or going out of my way to make sure I have my hair in weave before I get in a pool because I know how long its going to take me to do my hair over again. I'm sorry--but I guess I want it be simple. This is honestly one of those times when I feel like the quote, "Anything having is worth working hard for" doesn't apply. Because I see all kinds of women walking around with long hair that is easy to work with and they didn't work for it at all.
 
OK. Breathe IN. Breathe OUT.

What is your hair type, if I may ask, and do you have high density? Is it volume or tight coils that are bothering you?

We feel your pain......and I don't think you were meant to be bald. Silly :)
 
Well I'm African (nigerian) born n raised... i can trace back to my great great grand parents and we r not only nigerian.. we all are from the same state..lol (you get the point)

I say all that from experience... everytime ive washed my hair loose regularly... it's a setback waiting to happen.. im @ work now so i can post my texture but u can see it my fotki in an album called august. 2011. My actual hair will feel moisturized... but it will keep falling off cos its so fine... and again.. how am i going to style it after washing?
 
ellebelle88 said:
I think your response might have missed my point...My point is that we often have to do "something" to our hair and that something often requires a lot of work. Period. It's never as simple as just washing your hair. You mentioned braiding it could be seen as luxury. Ok fine, if you like wearing braids for three months (which means you're wearing weaves b/c there ain't no way you can wear your real hair like that for 3 months) and that's luxury to you so be it. I hate braids. Any kind of braids. So that's not luxury to me.

Luxury to me is having my own hair on my head and it being easy to manipulate and not requiring me to think about constantly moisturizing it or detangling it or thinking twice before I get in a pool or going out of my way to make sure I have my hair in weave before I get in a pool because I know how long its going to take me to do my hair over again. I'm sorry--but I guess I want it be simple. This is honestly one of those times when I feel like the quote, "Anything having is worth working hard for" doesn't apply. Because I see all kinds of women walking around with long hair that is easy to work with and they didn't work for it at all.
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????

I give up. *exits*
 
Cendra said:
OK. Breathe IN. Breathe OUT.

What is your hair type, if I may ask, and do you have high density? Is it volume or tight coils that are bothering you?

We feel your pain......and I don't think you were meant to be bald. Silly :)
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Cendra hahaha.... @ being bald... hair type: i call myself a 4C (anything tighter than a 4B)... very high density but extremely fine... 0 visible curls... looks and feels like a soft or hard sponge depending on d day.. bsb...
 
judy4all said:
Well I'm African (nigerian) born n raised... i can trace back to my great great grand parents and we r not only nigerian.. we all are from the same state..lol (you get the point)

I say all that from experience... everytime ive washed my hair loose regularly... it's a setback waiting to happen.. im @ work now so i can post my texture but u can see it my fotki in an album called august. 2011. My actual hair will feel moisturized... but it will keep falling off cos its so fine... and again.. how am i going to style it after washing?
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Lol ok my logic failed there. Your hair looks so full and thick though. I guess it's impossible for me to tell you what you can do with your hair because it's not like I have your hair on my head to play with. The point of a wash-and-go is not doing anything to it after you wash. Or maybe smoothing it with some leave in and putting it into a bun but you said you can't bun your hair?

I'm really not sure what to tell you :(. I remember you did have a thread about relaxing but changed your mind, BUT if you aren't happy with how your hair is acting, you've grown it out and maybe you could try a really really gentle kiddy relaxer if you ever do consider it again? It all depends on what you want your hair to do, and if it just isn't what you like, then you could always change it up so that it is.
 
judy4all what styles do you do besides twists and braids? Have you ever tried braiding your hair after washing while it's nice and wet, then letting it dry and wearing a braidout for a few days or a week at a time? I wish I could have hair like yours for a day just for fun, it looks thick and soft.
 
i feel you, i felt the exact same way before i relaxed.
my hair is mostly 4a with a little 3c and i would get so envious of girls with 3a/b/c hair( even though my hair was longer than theirs) because they could do pretty wash and goes and do all kinds of lovely stuff while as for me..:ohwell:
i never really wore my hair out my hair was always either in a bun or braids.the only time i would wear my hair out was when i straightened it.but the thing is it still grew because i took good care of it.
Even after being on LHCF i still dont even know what Porosity,density,and all that other crap means lol because i dont feel doing all that extra stuff is necessary to grow my hair whether relaxed or natural.before i found this site i washed,DC,and rollersetted my hair once a week and my hair was fine,my siggy pic was actually taken before i found this site. but once i joined LHCF i started co-washing and doing all this extra stuff and it wrecked havoc on my hair.it took me a year to realize all that extra stuff isnt necessary so i went back to my old simple routine and my hair is finally getting back on track
 
Sorry your going threw this...Take it slow & listen to what your hair likes & dislikes..Watch out for ingredients & only use products that benefit your hair......


Happy Hair Growing!
 
prettypithy said:
"As opposed to women of almost any other race where they can wash their hair and airdry it and not experience breakage or wash it and put it in a ponytail without needing a bunch of gels, moisturizers, etc."

One thing that strikes me about this thread is how distorted our attitudes are about our hair. We think of others as having an easier road but I'm not convinced that is true. For instance, they have to wash their every day or else face stinking, oily hair. I don't have to do that. In fact, I could wash my hair once a month and not have that problem. So, who has it harder? Me because I spend two hours on wash day? Or them because they spend twenty minutes a day, adding up to roughly the same time? For some reason, we have all elevated wash n' go hair to the height of luxury but why? If I braid my hair, I don't have to do a d*mn thing to it for almost three months--why isn't THAT the height of luxury?
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I agree with this post, not to mention that tons of non-black women have wavy and curly hair types that they wash and blow dry or flat iron daily, a sizeable portion of non-black women do not have pin straight hair..I would even say 50% or more. Two of my white female co-workers told me they used to relax their hair when they were younger - yes they're talking about the milder thio relaxers geared towards non-back ppl (ex. Rusk Anti-Curl) but that just shows that tons of women of all races are going the extra mile to get their hair to do something it doesn't do naturally. There are tons of white women walking around with visible heat damage.. you just have to pay attention.
 
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ellebelle88 said:
I think your response might have missed my point...My point is that we often have to do "something" to our hair and that something often requires a lot of work. Period. It's never as simple as just washing your hair. You mentioned braiding it could be seen as luxury. Ok fine, if you like wearing braids for three months (which means you're wearing weaves b/c there ain't no way you can wear your real hair like that for 3 months) and that's luxury to you so be it. I hate braids. Any kind of braids. So that's not luxury to me.

Luxury to me is having my own hair on my head and it being easy to manipulate and not requiring me to think about constantly moisturizing it or detangling it or thinking twice before I get in a pool or going out of my way to make sure I have my hair in weave before I get in a pool because I know how long its going to take me to do my hair over again. I'm sorry--but I guess I want it be simple. This is honestly one of those times when I feel like the quote, "Anything having is worth working hard for" doesn't apply. Because I see all kinds of women walking around with long hair that is easy to work with and they didn't work for it at all.
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ellebelle88 Just a heads up, I was just using your comment as an example of an attitude I perceived not as any statement about you personally.

I also find it interesting that you deem their hair care practices as "no work at all." They are undoubtedly using the methods that work best for THEM. They aren't trying to use my methods and then complaining when it doesn't work for them. If they did what we were doing, expecting to have glowing results, they too would be deeply disappointed.

If all you're saying is, "I wish it took less time and effort to grow my hair", that is understandable. But what I'm hearing is, "I wish my hair would thrive under the same conditions that work well for other people" and to me that is an exercise in futility even if it is an understandable sentiment.
 
prettypithy said:
ellebelle88 Just a heads up, I was just using your comment as an example of an attitude I perceived not as any statement about you personally.

I also find it interesting that you deem their hair care practices as "no work at all." They are undoubtedly using the methods that work best for THEM. They aren't trying to use my methods and then complaining when it doesn't work for them. If they did what we were doing, expecting to have glowing results, they too would be deeply disappointed.

If all you're saying is, "I wish it took less time and effort to grow my hair", that is understandable. But what I'm hearing is, "I wish my hair would thrive under the same conditions that work well for other people" and to me that is an exercise in futility even if it is an understandable sentiment.
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I got you and sorry for thinking that you were responding to me. I guess I was just going off of the fact that you quoted me so it was a response.

Actually, if I had to break down what I'm saying, then all I'm saying is simply, "I wish it didn't take so much time and effort to figure out my hair." And a lot of things can be meant by the word "figuring out." But just the mere fact that I have to join a hair board to understand how to have healthy hair speaks a lot.
 
yuhlovevybz said:
@judy4all what styles do you do besides twists and braids? Have you ever tried braiding your hair after washing while it's nice and wet, then letting it dry and wearing a braidout for a few days or a week at a time? I wish I could have hair like yours for a day just for fun, it looks thick and soft.
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yuhlovevybz Only braids and twists really... If I cowash a like 2 days in a row with the right products... I can do a pretty good braidout... but it'll turn into an afro before evening... Wont even last 1 day talk less of a week... I usually wash my hair in braids or twists... Hey we all wish for what the other person has... I'm sure if I had 3abc hair, I'll complain about something else.... :lachen:
 
ellebelle88 I definitely agree with you on having to join a hair board to figure it out. But I actually attribute that to gaps in our collective knowledge because the majority information is not dictated towards us. It may seem like a lot of effort to figure it out but every group had to figure it out at some point, too. But for them, the chain of knowledge was not broken up by slavery, heavy colonization and other traumas our communities have faced. Personal care definitely has taken a back seat for many communities, for many generations while people have struggled to survive. So, we may be a few generations behind but imagine how easy and seamless it will be for our kids and grandkids because of the work we are putting in today.

I know that's a little deep for a hair forum. :lachen: And I'm not trying to be :afro: super natural over here. But it really resonates with me because my mother and grandmother did not have access to this info and truly viewed kinky hair as a burden unless it was the long curly variety. So, while I relate to feelings of hair frustration, I actually feel privileged that we have the knowledge now to reverse course and learn how to deal with our hair efficiently and lovingly.
 
ITA with the bolded and that's what i was going to say.

1. I can do my hair occasionally if I choose to. Now, that's twice a month for about 3-3.5 hours each session (washing, detangling, styling, etc.). I'm mostly 4b w/ 4a sections here and there and MBL. I often wonder what folks who take 8 hours each hair session are doing to their hair (like a certain youtuber who shall not be named). Doing that weekly that's 24 hours a month on my hair:blush: Naw son, I'd keep my hair in a twa if that were the case.:look:

2. Ironically those with straight hair marvel at the versatility and relative low maintenance of my hair. Not really looking for their approval b/c I know my hair is dope but yeah it's not as easy for them as I once thought. Daily washing...I can't imagine. I'm lazy as heck and 2 blocks of hair time a month is just fine with me.

3. About protective styling: i think this is the issue with some naturals. You don't have to do it but IMO b/c if I want to grow my hair out to waist length it's a necessity. Sera2544 has been using heat lately and I asked her if she did that earlier in her hair journey if she thinks would have reached her goal. She said no. Same thing with LHDC2011. These folks protective styled and used heat infrequently earlier on. Once they had long hair they incorporated heat methods. I see folks who are SL or shorter using the heat method but may not realize this and may be disappointed when they don't have LHDC2011 hair in 2 years but have retained much slower than they expected. :look:

Basically, if you have a goal, baby your hair, get there and then feel free to 'enjoy' your hair more if wearing it out means enjoyment to you. To me 2-4 years isn't that long to protective style. Plus, like mwedzi said the once a month braid out/twist out is enough for me not to feel board when i want a change.


prettypithy said:
"As opposed to women of almost any other race where they can wash their hair and airdry it and not experience breakage or wash it and put it in a ponytail without needing a bunch of gels, moisturizers, etc."

One thing that strikes me about this thread is how distorted our attitudes are about our hair. We think of others as having an easier road but I'm not convinced that is true. For instance, they have to wash their every day or else face stinking, oily hair. I don't have to do that. In fact, I could wash my hair once a month and not have that problem. So, who has it harder? Me because I spend two hours on wash day? Or them because they spend twenty minutes a day, adding up to roughly the same time? For some reason, we have all elevated wash n' go hair to the height of luxury but why? If I braid my hair, I don't have to do a d*mn thing to it for almost three months--why isn't THAT the height of luxury?

Basically, I don't understand why we have collectively as a group accepted the fallacy that our hair is "hard" and everyone else's is "easy." And to be honest, when I used to feel that way, my hair WAS hard. It was hard because it FELT hard because I was trying to take care of my hair like it was someone else's hair. Trying to fit a round peg into a square hole. As soon as I grabbed the square peg, it glided in. It is all in the mindset.
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Just so you ladies know... this thread was the highlight of my pretty boring day @ work... lol.... Thanks to everyone that contributed regardless of what your opinions are...
 
I hear a lot of 'we HAVE to do all this to our hair' talk that's really confusing me

We dont have to do anything to our hair, we want to, for a certain look. Braiding after washing to elongate it? That's because I like how that looks. Twist? I like how that looks. Braids? I want that look. etc etc etc. Everyone can just wear their hair straight as it is on their head if they want to, if you're a 4b, it will just be a fro. A shrunken fro. The end. Now if that looks good on you great. Hop in the shower, finger detangle some so it doesn't start locing or matting, rinse out, rub some moisturizer on that fro and go. End of story. Most of the extensive detangling I do is because I want to wear twists or braids or a braidout or a bun and I want it to be completely free of shed hair, but if I were just going to wear a shrunken fro, I wouldn't care.

Buuuuut people dont want to wear that so hence the "work". They want to show off their length etc when 4b hair is NOT meant to do that without, yep, WORK. If you wanted to wear your hair how it is straight out of your scalp after just mild grooming (yes even white people groom their own hair lol, for some reason a lot of folk here seem to think all of them spring out of bed with flowing locks), then absolutely nobody is stopping you but you.

its all in the mentality
 
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