The Scarlet Bump to come...

[Ivonnovi]

Been there done that.

The fact is that you are committed; the fear is that he's not.

It's like the Ham&Egg breakfast; where the farmer points out that the Pig has made more of a commitment (his life) to the meal than the Chicken that laid and egg and walked away.
​

I've used that analogy several times when raising my daughter.

Again I've been there, done that; and at this point can only send you words of encouragement. Be patient with him, but LOVE yourself.

What I will say is that as you go on through life, NEVER put the cart before the horse again, especially where your health, wellbeing, and comfort are concerned; or when it requires such a big upfront commitment from you.

 

[misskris816]

Been there done that.


The fact is that you are committed; the fear is that he's not.

It's like the Ham&Egg breakfast; where the farmer points out that the Pig has made more of a commitment (his life) to the meal than the Chicken that laid and egg and walked away.​

​

I love this analogy, thanks for sharing!

 

[OceeMom]

It's like the Ham&Egg breakfast; where the farmer points out that the Pig has made more of a commitment (his life) to the meal than the Chicken that laid and egg and walked away.

This is one of my favorites.

In the category of BTDT, I remember when I broke off my first engagement, my mom's friend, with whom I was living, told me that I loved my (ex)fiance with my whole heart and that the next time I should keep a part of my heart just for me.

To the OP, best wishes to you. I do hope that things work well and he comes through not only now but after the baby is born.

 

[DayStar]

i dont want to step on anyones toes, but im sure i will....

this isnt directed specifically to anyone in particular..im just rambling...

its funny how people worry about what is appropriate for a certain type of religious person to wear, talk about...but when it comes to faucking it is justified....not saying she justified it...i guess the ppl i have come in contact with.....dont justify sins.....

thats all..

 

[IntelligenceisBeautiful]

i dont want to step on anyones toes, but im sure i will....

this isnt directed specifically to anyone in particular..im just rambling...

its funny how people worry about what is appropriate for a certain type of religious person to wear, talk about...but when it comes to faucking it is justified....not saying she justified it...i guess the ppl i have come in contact with.....dont justify sins.....

thats all..

clears throat and runs out of thread

 

[Spongie Bloom]

i dont know how much advice i can offer in terms of the situation with your boyfriend cause i think most of the ladies here have raised valid oints that you need to mull over and see whats best for you what i gathered from your post is that you would like an actual commitment from him i.e marriage before you start showing but yet when you talked to him you asked him if he will have proposed when you move in with him, why?? erplexed

really how it came about does not matter the most important thing is you about to have a baby a brand new person and i also think you being rejected for counselling is despicable so if i were you i would definately look elsewhere which is another church for support, work on keeping your confidence up and when you start showing throw on some pretty maternity clothes and walk with your head held high who cares what other people think? you are about to have a mini you

 

[dreysonsmommy2011]

I totally understand your feelings and wish you nothing but the best. People are too judgemental at times, you have enough to think about now...it's done there is nothing else to do, but move forward. Your SO sounds like mine and with my SO sometime I just have to break it down for him and tell him what I'm thinking and what caused me to think such a way.

 

[filthyfresh]

I totally understand your feelings and wish you nothing but the best. People are too judgemental at times, you have enough to think about now...it's done there is nothing else to do, but move forward. Your SO sounds like mine and with my SO sometime I just have to break it down for him and tell him what I'm thinking and what caused me to think such a way.

ITA. Besides, you're 27. You're grown. You're allowed to have a child. Things happen. If you want to marry him, let him know. You can go to the JP if you like, or you can hold out (but I don't think that's what you want to do). Your focus needs to be on your child. Not what other people think of you & your life. So many people have so much to say about every one else, but their own lives are in disarray. So just focus on your health and your relationship.

 

[ThickHair]

Ok, OP what happened?

 

[Radianthealth]

Congratulations!

I voted other because I didn't get pregnant before getting married but if I did it wouldn't have been a big deal.

Me and DH come from families where 90% of the kids are born out of wedlock

 

[january noir]

My SO and I are pregnant. Prior to the pregnancy, we had engagement plans for Summer 08' and wedding plans for Late Spring 09'. Okay... after a lot of back and forth about moving the wedding date up, etc. We decided to keep our wedding date for May 09. I'm glad about that. However, I've been having difficulty in spreading the news of my pregnancy and for the most part, trying to keep it pretty quiet until he proposes. We both agreed to move in together before the baby is born and subsequently get engaged. However, I'm four months and ticking yet, he still hasn't asked. Now, this is my first pregnancy and I have no issue with kids out of wedlock (supposedly), but maybe I do when it comes to me. He keeps asking me if I've told this person or that person but, I'm like "no". I know for sure I will feel 100% more comfortable with our "gift" having evidence of a sincere "promise". My mind is aching to ask him to at least ask me before I start showing but, I can't bring myself to do that. Does he not recognize my hidden shame!
Background info:
I'm 27, he is 32.
We are both professionals working in the field we went to school for.
We live apart. Are both Christians. I am VERY active at my church.
Also, we were disqualified for Pre-marital counseling because of our "status". And were referred to an alternative source.

You better speak up and tell him. Men don't see things the same way as women.

 

[JustKiya]

This is why you should put an end date on polls.

Whatever happened, congrats on your baby girl/boy, and I hope you and the father were able to work things out.

 

[MizAvalon]

This is why you should put an end date on polls.

Whatever happened, congrats on your baby girl/boy, and I hope you and the father were able to work things out.

OMG-This is from 9 months ago!

 

[Je Ne Sais Quoi]

The baby is like 4 now

 

[sky_blu]

Wow this thread is from earlier this year LOL and Im still wondering what happened. Who bumped this back up?

 

[Farida]

I wanna see the baby...

 

[JustKiya]

Wow this thread is from earlier this year LOL and Im still wondering what happened. Who bumped this back up?

It's because of the poll - I think someone voted in the poll, and the thread got bumped.

 

[DayStar]

so is she married???

 

[ThickHair]

I bump yesterday b\c I wanted to know what happened.

 

[R4L]

My SO and I are pregnant. Prior to the pregnancy, we had engagement plans for Summer 08' and wedding plans for Late Spring 09'. Okay... after a lot of back and forth about moving the wedding date up, etc. We decided to keep our wedding date for May 09. I'm glad about that. However, I've been having difficulty in spreading the news of my pregnancy and for the most part, trying to keep it pretty quiet until he proposes. We both agreed to move in together before the baby is born and subsequently get engaged. However, I'm four months and ticking yet, he still hasn't asked. Now, this is my first pregnancy and I have no issue with kids out of wedlock (supposedly), but maybe I do when it comes to me. He keeps asking me if I've told this person or that person but, I'm like "no". I know for sure I will feel 100% more comfortable with our "gift" having evidence of a sincere "promise". My mind is aching to ask him to at least ask me before I start showing but, I can't bring myself to do that. Does he not recognize my hidden shame!
Background info:
I'm 27, he is 32.
We are both professionals working in the field we went to school for.
We live apart. Are both Christians. I am VERY active at my church.
Also, we were disqualified for Pre-marital counseling because of our "status". And were referred to an alternative source.

/OT
The bolded part irks me. The hypocrisy or organized religion drive people away when they are in their times of STRONG need. le sigh.

/back to your situation. Unless he peeps this board, he may not be aware of your shame....talk to him. good luck for a smooth pregnancy.

 

[MJ]

/OT
The bolded part irks me. The hypocrisy or organized religion drive people away when they are in their times of STRONG need. le sigh.

/back to your situation. Unless he peeps this board, he may not be aware of your shame....talk to him. good luck for a smooth pregnancy.

Don't stone me, I'm gonna say this even though I'm not religious...

She said she was "Very active" in her church, which meant that she was expected to set an appropriate example, especially for the younger ones in that community. She knew what the rules of her religion and church were before she got into the situation. Yet she choose to break them. She's an adult, not a child. I don't think it's harsh or hypocrital that they denied her marriage counseling, it's sad. However, they are just maintaining their rules, and she knew what the consequences were before she willingly broke them.

That being said, I hope all turned out well for her.

 

[firecracker]

Its not wrong to refer them to alternate options. They knew the rules of engagement so they have to go elsewhere for the mean time. I hope they got married by now but if they didn't oh well be happy anyways.

 

[hopeful]

This is why you should put an end date on polls.

Whatever happened, congrats on your baby girl/boy, and I hope you and the father were able to work things out.

OMG-This is from 9 months ago!

The baby is like 4 now

I wanna see the baby...

I bump yesterday b\c I wanted to know what happened.

Ya'll are killing me .

 

[TCatt86]

I bump yesterday b\c I wanted to know what happened.

I want to know too? Where is the OP?

 

[MochaEyeCandy]

Does it really matter? Hiding your pregnancy until you "legitimize" your relationship seems silly...after all most people can't at least count to 9. The only person you're fooling is yourself IMO.

LMAO! I didn't see the date of the OP. How did it turn out?