The Rules when it comes to Calling, Txting, etc

[SimpleKomplexity]

You know how the rules says that most of the time he should be calling you, not the other way around?

So what do you say when he brings up the fact that you never call him, he always calls you. Because of that, he asks you to call him

 

[Bunny77]

You know how the rules says that most of the time he should be calling you, not the other way around?

So what do you say when he brings up the fact that you never call him, he always calls you. Because of that, he asks you to call him

Is this Mr. Wal-Mart?

 

[Ramya]

Well I'm upfront about the calling thing. I make it clear that I don't call males unless it's important/urgent nor will I take turns. I remind him that men pursue, not women.

 

[SimpleKomplexity]

Is this Mr. Wal-Mart?

What if I said Mr. Ummm Impala?

WHAT?! I gotta see if the Rules work. You gotta test it on some losers before you get the REAL one!

 

[HairQueen]

You know how the rules says that most of the time he should be calling you, not the other way around?

So what do you say when he brings up the fact that you never call him, he always calls you. Because of that, he asks you to call him

This is a good question - I want to know the answer too becasue otherwise I feel like they know I am deliberatley not calling if u know what I mean? (which of course is the case but they aren't supposed to KNOW that!)

I am guessing the answer is that you increase your calls to him gradually but only once you see that he is treating you how u would like to be treated??

 

[aribell]

Is this Mr. Wal-Mart?

Honestly, at some point I think we have to suspend our expectations and communicate. I'm not saying whether you should call him more or not, or that you should lower your standards, but maybe at least talk to him about what you want from him and why. He wants to know that you're into him too!

 

[BroadstreetBully]

With my last relationship I ended up doing most of the calling because my schedule was unpredictable and I ALWAYS missed his calls. With other guys they normally don't complain about me not calling because they understand the role of the man to call. If it's working out fine with him calling, find a way to communicate that. Just giggle and go 'Oh...but I kinda like it when you call' or something like that. Throw a subtle amount of flattery out there, men aren't too bright so he'll eat it up.

 

[inthepink]

Well I'm upfront about the calling thing. I make it clear that I don't call males unless it's important/urgent nor will I take turns. I remind him that men pursue, not women.

I like your thinking.

Some men just don't know. They haven't learned some of the traditional ways to treat women (which are often-times better than the modern ways!). They want to make you do what they want you to do b/c then it makes it easier on them.

 

[Ramya]

I like your thinking.

Some men just don't know. They haven't learned some of the traditional ways to treat women (which are often-times better than the modern ways!). They want to make you do what they want you to do b/c then it makes it easier on them.

Thanks. And ITA! Some of the youngsters just don't know any better. To them texting is considered 'talking' and women should 'meet them halfway.' If that's you then fine but that's not me and I make no apologies about it. Yeah some will walk away but that's fine with me, I'm not what they want and their not what I want. It works for both of us.

 

[Zaynab]

Well I'm upfront about the calling thing. I make it clear that I don't call males unless it's important/urgent nor will I take turns. I remind him that men pursue, not women.

But where is the balance?

When you are in the "getting to know you stage" and dating, those first few months where it's easy to lose their attention if you call him 50-11 times a day....NO I wouldn't call him alot, I wouldn't hang on the phone, etc. I would make him call you for any dating plans, outings, etc.

But after you've been dating for a while, I don't think it's wrong to call a guy periodically. It's always about balance and not extremes. Letting him pursue you is one thing, never calling the guy back at all after awhile will frustrate a man.

 

[Ramya]

But where is the balance?

When you are in the "getting to know you stage" and dating, those first few months where it's easy to lose their attention if you call him 50-11 times a day....NO I wouldn't call him alot, I wouldn't hang on the phone, etc. I would make him call you for any dating plans, outings, etc.

But after you've been dating for a while, I don't think it's wrong to call a guy periodically. It's always about balance and not extremes. Letting him pursue you is one thing, never calling the guy back at all after awhile will frustrate a man.

Please keep in mind that I don't date in the modern context. If a man wants to get with me he will have to make the effort to secure his position by 'my' side. I return phone calls but no I don't initiate them unless I have something specific to tell him, it's a special occasion or an emergency during the getting to know you stage. If we are courting then yes, I will call him but most guys have no problem with calling me as my intentions are clear from the beginning. He knows that I'm interested so there's no blurry lines or frustration involved.

 

[Lylddlebit]

~~~~~~Deleted~~~~~~~~~~

 

[topsyturvy86]

You know how the rules says that most of the time he should be calling you, not the other way around?

So what do you say when he brings up the fact that you never call him, he always calls you. Because of that, he asks you to call him

See, I don't like rules when it comes to love. I believe in just letting it flooww. At the beginning, I believe he should call you more and all 'cos it shows he's keen, always thinking about you, and he's still chasing you but when you get to know each other properly, are in a committed relationship, and you've been successfully 'sought', I think it should just be natural. I don't think a man should chase me forever ... like putting in all of the work when we've been seeing each other for a while, I wanna love him and show him that I appreciate him and not in a controlled way/based on rules, just how I feel.

If you've been in a relationship with him for a while and you want to commit to him, if he brings up the fact that u never call him, it might be making him feel unappreciated, lisen, take it on board, and call him more often. Guys need to be shown love too. If it isn't a committed relationship/early stages/you just don't feel properly 'sought', then tell him you don't call guys/whatever/ however you feel.

 

[~~HoneyComb~~]

Is this Mr. Wal-Mart?

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

Ha...what are the odds?? I JUST went through this with my guy friend not too long ago.

He made some comment/joke about how I "never call" him, and how he only calls people who call him (ha! whatever!). True, I rarely if EVER call him unless I need something lol, or unless it's a dire emergency. But I DO like him romantically, and I think he knows too. So I kept telling myself that I was NOT going to call him. I usually tell guys: "Umm...guys call ME. I don't call guys...unless it's to return their call" in a coy and flirty way. Remember...a FLIRTATIOUS way. If you say it too harshly, they'll think that you're playing a game with them or something. Especially if they really like you.

Well, one day my guy friend was going through something, and I figured... "hey, why not?? He's usually the one calling me anyway so what harm can it do? I'll just give him a call and cheer him up." Do you know that bugger has YET to call me back after I left him a nice message on his phone??

So...don't fall for these guy's tricks. The REAL guys who are into you will gladly call you and will KEEP calling you if they feel that you are into them. As long as you're acting happy to hear him when he calls, and you're being very receptive and pleased when you're on dates with him, I don't think he'll care who calls as long as he gets to speak with you.

I think the only guys who want women to call them are either:
-Not sure if you like them
-Players (They just like a lot of girls/attention and want YOU calling them like other girls!)
-Wussies

Don't fall for their game!

 

[SimpleKomplexity]

Ha...what are the odds?? I JUST went through this with my guy friend not too long ago.

He made some comment/joke about how I "never call" him, and how he only calls people who call him (ha! whatever!). True, I rarely if EVER call him unless I need something lol, or unless it's a dire emergency. But I DO like him romantically, and I think he knows too. So I kept telling myself that I was NOT going to call him. I usually tell guys: "Umm...guys call ME. I don't call guys...unless it's to return their call" in a coy and flirty way. Remember...a FLIRTATIOUS way. If you say it too harshly, they'll think that you're playing a game with them or something. Especially if they really like you.

Well, one day my guy friend was going through something, and I figured... "hey, why not?? He's usually the one calling me anyway so what harm can it do? I'll just give him a call and cheer him up." Do you know that bugger has YET to call me back after I left him a nice message on his phone??

So...don't fall for these guy's tricks. The REAL guys who are into you will gladly call you and will KEEP calling you if they feel that you are into them. As long as you're acting happy to hear him when he calls, and you're being very receptive and pleased when you're on dates with him, I don't think he'll care who calls as long as he gets to speak with you.

I think the only guys who want women to call them are either:
-Not sure if you like them
-Players (They just like a lot of girls/attention and want YOU calling them like other girls!)
-Wussies

Don't fall for their game!

I wanna thank everything in this post! Hmmm so just dunc lal. It just seems to me as if "you're playing games" and sooner or later, the guy will catch on and either think you are no interested, or you're immature and try to control a man with games

 

[Jade Feria]

If we're going by The Rules, I believe the rule of thumb is first not to call him first, then you can return his call the next day, then after a while one phone call for every 4 times he calls you, or something like that. If you work with him and the call is about business, you can call him.

Otherwise, use your judgement..just make sure you let him miss you!

 

[Serenity_Peace]

You know how the rules says that most of the time he should be calling you, not the other way around?

So what do you say when he brings up the fact that you never call him, he always calls you. Because of that, he asks you to call him

He tells me that I never call. And then he said: "So is this what I can expect from you? Is this the kind of girlfriend you're going to be."

That left me flabbergasted. I didn't know what to say to that...

 

[envybeauty]

He tells me that I never call. And then he said: "So is this what I can expect from you? Is this the kind of girlfriend you're going to be."

That left me flabbergasted. I didn't know what to say to that...

Hold up. This is the same dude you have been dating for 7 months? At what point will you be his girlfriend if being with him for 7 months has not brought that to fruition in his mind?

Humph.

 

[LightEyedMami]

I don't call men in the early stages...PERIOD. It's Not playing games, its not being old fashioned, it is what it is. I'm married now so obviously i don't apply this anymore but up until then my hubby always called me it really wasn't a BIG deal, he had no problem with it and never complained about it either. But i do agree that men should feel like they are appreciated too, but IMO you can do this in other ways.

 

[KEWLKAT103]

Well, I don't know about the rules and such, but DH and I called each other while dating.
In the beginning couple of weeks he called and asked me to do things, but as we found ourselves in a relationship, we called whenever we wanted to talk or get together.

Now, if I felt like I had to track him down or chase him, then I would have stopped calling and let him pursue to see if he was truly interested or not.

 

[music-bnatural-smile]

When a man loves you it doesn't matter who calls... your connection will be above any rules that society has placed on us. Communication=love... who wouldn't want to communicate with a love interest?? But ladies, don't be irritating though, there is a line that has to be drawn ;-)

 

[a_ caribbean_dream]

*bumping***
because I need this and have been going through this a long time with a particular male friend.....not sure of what I should do