The nice guy????

blessed

blessed

New Member
Ok theres this guy who is interested in me. He is kind, supportive, funny and loves the Lord. He wants to pamper me with pedicures ......etc. and is always concerned about me. When I say supportive we just met but he was willing to travel hours just to see me act in a play. I am overwhelmed by these qualities because they were seriously missing in my last relationships. But I am not interest in anything other than a friendship with him. I would love to hang with him but I am afraid he will read to much into it. Now my question is how do I handle this and is it possible to catch feelings later even though I am not physically attracted to him and sometimes I feel like he has some growing up to do. Have you ever fallen for the nice guy?
 
I have fallen for the nice guy once. He was a big dude and always doing nice things for me. I wasn't attracted to him because 2 big people make bacon LOL, but eventually I decided to give it a try and even though this didn't work out for us, he was one of the best boyfriends that I ever had.
 
Blackoutzangel05 said:
I have fallen for the nice guy once. He was a big dude and always doing nice things for me. I wasn't attracted to him because 2 big people make bacon LOL, but eventually I decided to give it a try and even though this didn't work out for us, he was one of the best boyfriends that I ever had.
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Thanks for sharing.
 
I haven't had this experience, but an acquaintance of mine did. He was a very large man, but his heart was as big as he was. Very kind to everybody, did as much as he could for her and everybody else, and I never saw him angry. They had two very cute kids together. Unfortunately, he died from cancer a few years back, but I don't think she regretted marrying him one day they were married.
 
Much2much41 said:
I haven't had this experience, but an acquaintance of mine did. He was a very large man, but his heart was as big as he was. Very kind to everybody, did as much as he could for her and everybody else, and I never saw him angry. They had two very cute kids together. Unfortunately, he died from cancer a few years back, but I don't think she regretted marrying him one day they were married.
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I am sorry to hear that he passed away. :sad:


I am not attracted to my nice guy because he is the opposite too skinny for my taste. I am use to tall nicely built guys.
 
blessed said:
I am sorry to hear that he passed away. :sad:


I am not attracted to my nice guy because he is the opposite too skinny for my taste. I am use to tall nicely built guys.
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Then feed him!!!! Just kidding. But can I ask this question (and I know physical attraction is important) But if you didn't see him or he wasn't as you say "skinny" what would you think of him?
 
I wouldn't be so quick to toss honey away.

I think you should examine more closely why you feel "overwhelmed" with all of his goodness and go from there.
 
delta_gyrl said:
I wouldn't be so quick to toss honey away.

I think you should examine more closely why you feel "overwhelmed" with all of his goodness and go from there.
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I agree with this. If you end up not liking him, so be it. But I believe in at least giving him a fair chance. You don't have to accept gifts from him if you aren't comfortable.
 
cocoberry10 said:
I agree with this. If you end up not liking him, so be it. But I believe in at least giving him a fair chance. You don't have to accept gifts from him if you aren't comfortable.
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I decided to hang with him a little after church tonight and I am really not feeling anything but friendship still,but we both got cast for a theater project together which means that we will be spending alot of time together so you never know what can happen but I will take it real slow and let things work themselves out. Thanks for all the comments ladies:grouphug:
 
Check my "The Rules" thread update. Short story, I met a very nice guy, dating and everything. I was playing it too cool and our signals got crossed I straightened it out and everything is back on track. I can honestly say if he wouldn't have spoken to me, then followed up in a wonderful way. I would have never given him a chance because he is considerably older than me.

I did a Dr Phil on myself. "How is what you doing working for you?" What I was doing in my dating life was not working so I tried something new and I love it.
 
blessed said:
I decided to hang with him a little after church tonight and I am really not feeling anything but friendship still,but we both got cast for a theater project together which means that we will be spending alot of time together so you never know what can happen but I will take it real slow and let things work themselves out. Thanks for all the comments ladies:grouphug:
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Good. I agree with taking it slow. It may end up as a great friendship, and that’s still good.
 
I married the nice guy, who also happened to be my best friend! That was the best decision I ever made. He's a wonderful husband and the best father I could imagine. He's cute to me, but Johnny Depp he ain't. That's cool, though. We're a great couple, coming up on our 3rd wedding anniversary in October.
 
I'm dating the nice guy, and I'm happier than I have ever been in a relationship! It was really strange at first. Believe me, this took some time to get used to, but I am really happy. I'm so glad that I didn't listen to my friends and I didn't go with my old ways. Watch what you pray for, because you just might get it when you're least expecting it.:yep: I hope that more women will start to appreciate the nice guys. Life is definitely a lot sweeter for me.
 
*Update*


Ok we have started talking a lot more and we have even went out a couple of times. Even though I still don't have any romantic feelings for him yet. I am really impressed by his hunger for God and how highly he thinks of me with phrases like "Good nite virtuous woman who is worth more than rubies" :blush:. He really is concerned about me and even though he didn't like Mexican food ( which I think gives him gas etc...) he still ate it because I said I love it and he wanted me to enjoy myself. Also my family really likes him which is great because my family hated my last boyfriend of NINE YEARS ( thats a whole nother story---maybe my next thread) But they are pushing me to give this guy a chance. And last but not least he has not tried to hug , kiss or put his arm around me which is rare for me. I don't know if he is playing it safe or thats just how he is ( I kind of think he is scarred that I may pull back) but whatever it is I am really intrigued by that. He says that he likes me and thanks God for me being in his life but he has started calling me his God sister :perplexed which I am not sure what to think about that statement??????
I am not sure if thats a safety precaution to prevent his feelings from being hurt?
 
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I believe the fact that you are intrigued by so many of his qualities shows that you ARE interested in him....So many times we feel that if we dont feel that passion...or strong physical attraction right away that we are not interested in the person when in fact there are so many other dimensions to being interested in someone....By no means am I saying attraction is not important...it absolutely is but if there are other qualities that attract you,its definitely worth exploring....so many people can testify that when they first met their current spouse,they were not attracted to them initially. Its amazing,however,what can happen when you grow in love...all of a sudden that person becomes the most beautiful person in the world to you. I pray to God for a nice man all of the time...this could be your blessing...so stay open and see.


TeeTee2
 
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Tiffchelle22 said:
I married a nice guy, and don't regret it one bit.
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Me, too, 10 years happily married this October! It took me some years to "wake up". Initially he wasn't "my type", but once I grew up, the next time I saw him, I made him mine.:grin:

Your heart needs to be in it, don't get with him because of what he can do for you, you must also genuinely respect and care for him, too.

ETA--Take your time, don't force anything, if the feelings don't come, so be it, leave him un-scarred for the next lady. Worst case scenario, you get to see how man should treat a woman.
 
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frizzy said:
Me, too, 10 years happily married this October! It took me some years to "wake up". Initially he wasn't "my type", but once I grew up, the next time I saw him, I made him mine.:grin:

Your heart needs to be in it, don't get with him because of what he can do for you, you must also genuinely respect and care for him, too.

ETA--Take your time, don't force anything, if the feelings don't come, so be it, leave him un-scarred for the next lady. Worst case scenario, you get to see how man should treat a woman.
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I feel what you are saying. But I would never led him on if I didn't like him. Right now I think that we are both taking things slow and allowing God to define what part if any we will play in each others lives. I already have several male friends so I would like him to be a friend if we didn't become a couple. I do care for him ( which partially is just because of my personality but I do consider him a good friend) but I hold back sometimes because I don't want him to get the wrong idea.


Also I don't allow him to do to much for me ( such as paying for things ) because if it doesn't work out he won't think I was using him.
 
Let me ask you something...aside from his "Skinny" nature...is his FACE nice-looking?? LOL* Because honestly, a guy can ALWAYS gain weight or lift weights to get more buff. Trust me... it's not too hard to GAIN weight! :lol:

But perhaps if his face was ugly, then I would say that you might have a harder time finding the "attraction".

But as long as he's nice, sweet, treats you right with respect, and is interested in you, then I don't see any big deal if he just happens to be a little on the skinny side. ;) I say go for it! You're obviously attracted to who he is as a person. Don't let the fact that he's a "nice guy" scare you. I think sometimes we as women fall for the "bad boys" or the guys that aren't that good for us. :(

This guy is (so far) treating you right. You deserve it! :)
 
Crystalicequeen123 said:
Let me ask you something...aside from his "Skinny" nature...is his FACE nice-looking?? LOL* Because honestly, a guy can ALWAYS gain weight or lift weights to get more buff. Trust me... it's not too hard to GAIN weight! :lol:

But perhaps if his face was ugly, then I would say that you might have a harder time finding the "attraction".

But as long as he's nice, sweet, treats you right with respect, and is interested in you, then I don't see any big deal if he just happens to be a little on the skinny side. ;) I say go for it! You're obviously attracted to who he is as a person. Don't let the fact that he's a "nice guy" scare you. I think sometimes we as women fall for the "bad boys" or the guys that aren't that good for us. :(

This guy is (so far) treating you right. You deserve it! :)
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Thanks . His not that skinny, but he is different than what I usually like. He is not ugly. I am not sure if anyone understands. But I just meant something is missing for me.
 
Update


Well I have to say that the nice guy in my life is one of the best things that has happened to me in long time. We have been inseparable since I let my guard down. I am so happy :couple:with him and so is my friends and family. I am now able to look to the future. And have accepted and actually find his differences cute and attractive.:yep: I never thought a man could love a woman the way he loves me but I now I understand the love God talks about in the bible between a man and a woman. I am so excited about our future. Thanks for all the comments again and I will definitely update soon.
 
Aw, I just stumbled upon this thread...thanks for the update! I am a romantic at heart so I love these stories/threads. You sound very happy (I could tell with your recent post) and I wish both of you the very best in your relationship. :)
 
Awww, that's great to hear, Blessed! I'm so glad you gave him a chance. I married the nice guy too! (...but I guess I was lucky because I think my nice guy is fizzzine :lol:)

We've been married six years and I couldn't have imagined a better life with a more wonderful person:grin:

Good luck to you, OP and please keep us updated ;)
 
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