Surname Change After Marriage

[SheenaVee]

I've been debating with myself about what I'm gonna change my surname to after I get married.

First option is to just change to FH's surname, of course.

But I'm not really a fan of FH's surname tbh and I feel like it doesn't flow well with my name. Plus, I'm very attached to my current surname. I can't imagine not calling myself this name anymore. I feel like half my identity will be gone. I won't feel like 'me' anymore. I know that sounds dramatic but it's honestly how I feel.

Second option is to have a double barrel surname, so it would be Sheena Currentsurname-FHsurname.

I like that idea better because I get to keep my surname but still take FH's surname. Win-win. However, I've always thought most double barrel surnames sound so pretentious, and mine certainly will sound pretentious . It also makes a long arse surname which is tiresome to say as well as write down.

What did you do or what would you do regarding your name change after marriage? I've made a poll.

 

[fluffyforever]

I changed mine two weeks ago. Going through the hassle of updating all records now. I just took his.

 

[barbiesocialite]

I'm not making my last name my middle name nor am I hyphenating. I'm changing my surname. Good riddance.

 

[greight]

I'm traditional so I'll change my name. I love my last name though so I'm just going to put it as my kids' middle name, lol. It'll carry on with them.

 

[ThirdEyeBeauty]

I would keep my last name if I felt attached and FH name does not flow. I would have all the kids have my last name as their middle name.

 

[melisandre]

I haven't decided what I'll do yet! At first, I was set on the double barrel last name. But now I'm not sure. It'd be a mouthful to say.

I feel like giving up my maiden name would be giving up my identity. But when you get married things change. I'll have my own family. So, my identity will change. Plus, it would be nice for everyone in the family to have the same last name -- I want our future children to have his last name only.

 

[Miss617]

*Technically* I'm supposed to have my DH's last name since that's what I put down on the marriage license, but I haven't changed it yet. I will eventually, before my son starts school lol. Our last names are kind of similar though so hyphenating would be silly.

 

[SheenaVee]

I thought of giving my kids my last name as their middle name becaus my last name is also a male first name. But idk how that would work if I had girls.

 

[Crackers Phinn]

Honestly unless his last name is something embarrassing like Titmouse then just change your last name to his and keep it pushing. The myriad of choices is what is making this into an issue.

I went through something similar and in the end the simplest measure was the best choice.

 

[MizAvalon]

I thought of keeping my maiden name but it was very important to DH that we have the same last name after marriage. If I had pushed, he would have begrudgingly tolerated a hyphenate so I flirted with the idea of that for a while but in the end I just went ahead and changed my last name to his.

Plus, if we have kids I wouldn't have wanted to have a different name than my children. If I have a son, I may give him my maiden name as his middle name.

 

[blackgurll]

I kept my name. And nobody cares.
My son has my last name for middle name. If I have another, s/he may get my mother's maiden name for middle name.

 

[Femmefatal1981]

I had zero attachment to my maiden name. I changed it as fast as I could.

 

[Foxglove]

I changed it but updating records and stuff is SUCH a pain in the butt. It's been 3 years and I still haven't updated all my records. One of my credit cards, my internet, some stuff like that is still in my maiden name. I basically update the records when I'm forced to lol

 

[ScorpioBeauty09]

The way it's going by the time I get married, I will have name recognition in my career. Especially if I marry a man with a last name very different from mine, it doesn't make sense. Plus I'm one of three daughters. So I'm hyphenating and going by his name socially and my maiden name professionally. Plus I like keeping my professional and personal lives separate.

 

[movingforward13]

Did you ask him what he wanted? Some men are pretty passionate about this...

For me- I am changing my last name (which is going to suck huge b@lls since I will have a professional license before I get married) as I don't have a relationship with my father and I want to disassociate myself from him.

 

[LivingInPeace]

I kept my name. Never saw a reason why I should have to change it. It's as much a part of my identity as my first name.

 

[Lucie]

I would restructure my entire name. I'd drop part of my first name, make my maiden name my middle and take his last name. My last name is too dope to be dropped. I love his last name though.

 

[Godsdaughter001]

Dh has a really elegant sounding last name, lol. Mine sounds good too (but his definitely trumped mine). So I hyphenate. Professionally, though, I use my maiden name.

 

[SheenaVee]

Did you ask him what he wanted? Some men are pretty passionate about this...

For me- I am changing my last name (which is going to suck huge b@lls since I will have a professional license before I get married) as I don't have a relationship with my father and I want to disassociate myself from him.

I've told him I'll probably hyphenate and he doesn't want that. He just wants me to take his surname. He says part of the point of getting married is for me to take his name. But I tell him I will take his name - I just wanna keep mine too. I would much rather not change my name at all so hyphenating is a compromise.

But tbh, since it's my name and identity we're talking about, and I'm the one who is having their name and identity changed, I'm the one who will have to change all of my paperwork and documents, I think it's my right to choose what I want to do.

 

[SheenaVee]

Also, FH's surname is always being said and spelt wrong. It looks similar to a common surname but it has a letter in it that makes it not that common surname so when people first see it they automatically think it's the common surname and will say it that way and spell it that way. He's always having to correct people.

Lawd. Ain't nobody got time for that lol. My surname is easy peasy. No one has ever pronounced or spelt it wrong.

 

[movingforward13]

But tbh, since it's my name and identity we're talking about, and I'm the one who is having their name and identity changed, I'm the one who will have to change all of my paperwork and documents, I think it's my right to choose what I want to do.

I totally get that.

I just figure I would throw that in there--- because on my main board (with men and women) this is a hot topic that comes up every 3 months by a new poster. Most of the men get ANGRY if a woman won't take his last name. Their response is "Why get married then?" I don't think they understand all of what we have to do and go through just to take their last name. It isn't as simple as saying "call me 'Mrs. Xxxxxx' now". And then G-d forbid there is a divorce--- then we have to change it back as most men divorcing do not want their soon-to-be ex wives to keep his last name. Clusterf&ck indeed.

 

[movingforward13]

I would restructure my entire name. I'd drop part of my first name, make my maiden name my middle and take his last name. My last name is too dope to be dropped. I love his last name though.

Like this - Lucie-Beauty (first) Wonder (middle) Woman (last) dates Super (first) HeroMan(last)

becomes Lucie Woman HeroMan?

 

[Damaris.Elle]

I'm going to be hyphenating mine. I've always loved my original surname and don't want to completely lose it. Also my Master's degree has my original surname on it and my professional board certification will as well. And...I'm not a huge fan of his last name by itself lol. Our last names sound good together though.

 

[Lucie]

Like this - Lucie-Beauty (first) Wonder (middle) Woman (last) dates Super (first) HeroMan(last)

becomes Lucie Woman HeroMan?

Actually, I would just make my last name my middle name and take his last name. I always loved Lucie, but not the second part of my name. But I kind of like it because my dad gave it to me, LOL. So scratch the restructuring. I would not hyphenate my last name with his. That would be too many hyphens.

 

[Lucie]

I thought of giving my kids my last name as their middle name becaus my last name is also a male first name. But idk how that would work if I had girls.

I think it would be cute for a girl.

 

[Foxglove]

I would restructure my entire name. I'd drop part of my first name, make my maiden name my middle and take his last name. My last name is too dope to be dropped. I love his last name though.

Like this - Lucie-Beauty (first) Wonder (middle) Woman (last) dates Super (first) HeroMan(last)

becomes Lucie Woman HeroMan?

That's what I did since my degrees and initial license were with my maiden name, and so if anybody wrote me a check I could still deposit/cash it

 

[sgold04]

A friend of mine kept her last name legally, but goes by his last name socially. She discussed it in advance and it was their biggest argument, but he agreed when she said future kids would have his name only.

I don't mind changing my last name, but I have publications under my maiden name so I'm not sure how that would work professionally. I guess I'll ask other academics when the time comes.

 

[Froreal3]

First time I kept the maiden name. This time I will change to his. I might hyphenate mine with his, but probably not.

 

[qchelle]

Well, if it's with this guy, we have the same last name lol

If it's not him, then by the time I get married, I'll have publications in my name, too, so too bad so sad for whoever the lucky guy is lol

 

[locabouthair]

*Technically* I'm supposed to have my DH's last name since that's what I put down on the marriage license, but I haven't changed it yet. I will eventually, before my son starts school lol. Our last names are kind of similar though so hyphenating would be silly.

Me too. The other day someone asked for my name and I gave them my maiden name and DH gave me the side eye lol. I was told I have a year to change all my ID's.

I honestly couldn't make up my mind between hyphenating or not so I just took his name.