Strawberry Letter - "Am I Being Petty?"

[faithVA]

Excellent points faithVA.

Actually, the first signs of her use and abuse of this man was her OUTRIGHT refusal to check bio dad on child support and putting the financial burden on stepdad. Taking the CS would have enhanced all their lives. Hint 2 was her not working to help support her own kids on top of refusing to push CS.

The bolded shows her manipulation tactics. The mom is sick and has raised some sick kids. And you're right. This mess didnt show up overnight. However, the man was in love. And sometimes when we're in love we do foolish things, ignoring the signs.

A decent mother would be all over that daughter to change it up to how it should be. But she is not a decent wife, much less mother.

I agree. I agree we do ignore the signs. We also believe that if we treat people well they will reciprocate. The new husband is going to have his hands full as well.

 

[caltron]

I agree with those who question whether these Strawberry Letters are real or not. Or if this one is not totally made-up it is incredibly one-sided. I believe this man is leaving out a lot of details or is embellishing quite a bit. It just makes no sense that the daughter would not want to acknowledge him in any way if he is the only father they've ever known. Maybe this guy took care of them financially but didn't really bond with them emotionally. Maybe the bio-dad didn't pay child support, but did other things to remain part of his life. Also, how in the heck was he able to afford to put both his daughters in college, buy them two cars, and allow his wife to stay at home on a blue collar salary??? Could be his wife got a nice sized settlement in the divorce which allows them to be financially comfortable because otherwise I'd have to call BS on that one.

The whole thing seems awfully Tyler Perry-ish to me.

 

[DarkJoy]

Dont underestimate the blue collar salary. Depending on location, plumbers, electricians, and HVAC people make average 90-110 per hour. That's well over 100k per year. So it's not like he has to be a $8 per hour day worker.

 

[caltron]

Dont underestimate the blue collar salary. Depending on location, plumbers, electricians, and HVAC people make average 90-110 per hour. That's well over 100k per year. So it's not like he has to be a $8 per hour day worker.

Well even if he is one the highly skilled blue collar workers 100K+ is not that well off for one income and a family of four (or more). Definitely not well off enough to be buying two cars and putting two kids through college.

 

[Britt]

I would pass the bills on to her Dad and have him pay for the wedding since he is supposed to be doing it. There is no Step-father/daughter dance right? If he wants to play daddy at the wedding then he should with all the costs associated with playing daddy.

ETA: His wife is user. She didn't ask for child support because the Doctor had a new family to worry about? She totally played this man after relying on him for 20 yrs to raise her daughters. She must still carry a torch for the Doctor. I'd be majorly upset if I was this guy. He's been "Daddy" for 20 yrs and just to be dismissed like that is painful.

All of this...
This man sounds like a sucka and the wife knows.
Their bio dad is a doctor yet doesn't provide for the daughters he raised and provided for financially??!?! The wife refuses to ask her ex hubby who makes substantially more $$$ than her current DH for child support, and she's a housewife. Hubby is working OT to help contribute towards his step daughter's wedding and understandbly wants to walk her down the aisle and the daugther and the wife have the audacity to laugh at him ... Nahhh, this guy sounds like a real sucka sadly

 

[faithVA]

Well even if he is one the highly skilled blue collar workers 100K+ is not that well off for one income and a family of four (or more). Definitely not well off enough to be buying two cars and putting two kids through college.

It is definitely enough. It just requires that you start saving early. It's not easy but it's done often enough. Where I live it is fairly common. It is just a matter of knowing how to work your finances.

 

[DarkJoy]

What faith said. Depending on geography, 100k is more than enough in Louisiana, for example, even a family of 4 would live extremely well. In places like NY, SF, FL maybe not so much but it's not like they'll be anywhere near homeless if they keep their budget right.

 

[caltron]

It is definitely enough. It just requires that you start saving early. It's not easy but it's done often enough. Where I live it is fairly common. It is just a matter of knowing how to work your finances.

Well we're just going to have agree to disagree on this one. On 100Kish a family is not going to be broke but is not going to be able to comfortably maintain three or four cars and put two kids through college, even if it's a public college. I know two income families making twice that who are stuggling to do all this man claims to have done. Not to mention having to buy health insurance on the private market. Maybe if the cars are hoopties and the college is a community college or something, but definitely not the picture this guy is trying to paint.

 

[faithVA]

What faith said. Depending on geography, 100k is more than enough in Louisiana, for example, even a family of 4 would live extremely well. In places like NY, SF, FL maybe not so much but it's not like they'll be anywhere near homeless if they keep their budget right.

If he makes $65 to $75 an hour and he works overtime and gets a bonus which many hourly do, he is bringing in more like $125K to $150K a year, before bonuses and overtime. I could take care of 2 daughters, send them to college, buy them cars, take care of my momma and still go on vacation

When I did work in manufacturing, most of the blue collar made more than the managers and the salaried people.

Granted, he may not be making that much, but he probably makes more than I do and I have a good salary.

 

[faithVA]

Well we're just going to have agree to disagree on this one. On 100Kish a family is not going to be broke but is not going to be able to comfortably maintain three or four cars and put two kids through college, even if it's a public college. I know two income families making twice that who are stuggling to do all this man claims to have done. Not to mention having to buy health insurance on the private market. Maybe if the cars are hoopties and the college is a community college or something, but definitely not the picture this guy is trying to paint.

Like DarkJoy says it does depend on where you live. Cost of living is less in many areas. 100K in New York and DC is nothing. 100K in other areas is a lot. 100K here can put you in a 350K home with 2 children with new cars. It just depends on where he lives. I only know it's possible because of where I live and where I have worked.

 

[cherryhair123]

The mom probably has been receiving child support to some degree or another-step dad may just be unaware (secret accounts more common than not)

 

[ChasingBliss]

I dunno, it feels fakish to me too. There is a womanly air to the way it flows. I mean do men really express themselves like this? It's hard to really put in words what I mean. It's like it was made up but written by a woman. HOWEVER, if it is true, Im kind of mad at dude for allowing this madneess. He is clearly being used and having his good heart, love and kindness taken advantage of. I dont know many men who would let, "we dont need him, we have you" just roll off like that. He should have had a major wtf moment when she said that.

 

[Iwanthealthyhair67]

I'm curious what did Steve say?

 

[DarkJoy]

I'm curious what did Steve say?

He was disgusted with the ingrates and said he would have a man to man with the bio dad if he were the stepdad.

 

[Truth]

Sad to say women are actually this trifling

 

[Crackers Phinn]

All of this...
This man sounds like a sucka and the wife knows.

It's a shame that a man who takes care of his family would be labeled a sucka.

~~~~~~~~~~~
As dirty as this woman and her daughters are doing this man, sooner or later, every step parent I've known got the rude awakening that they are not blood.

 

[Prettymetty]

He's not being petty. He's being human. He is hurt, because the daughter he raised has decided to let a stranger (her biological father) walk her down the aisle AND get the daddy daughter dance. Yeah its messed up. They either both walk her or Stepdad should walk her and let bio dad get the dance

 

[BEAUTYU2U]

I knew when he kept mentioning the money there was something not quite right. He seems to he in denial about his marriage and relationship. Why didn't the wife request CS, cause he had another family? That doesn't even make sense. And frankly, the daughter wants to be on the arm of a doctor, not a blue collar worker. Bio dad should pay, it's the very least he could do.

 

[Solila]

He's good. I would be getting ready to walk right about now. He has been played for 20 years and just a meal ticket. So when the bio dad wants to walk her down the aisle, she is the bio-dads daughter. But when the step-dad wants to he is just the step-dad. Then she says its not about you, its about YOUR daughter. So is it his daughter or not? She switches when its convenient.

I'm sure there had to be signs along the way that he just ignored. I don't think the wife just turned up this way one day. He isn't being petty but he is being foolish. I would be changing wills and beneficiary forms quick.

Hmm, karma, let me tell you! He should have walked right out.

 

[SophieDulce]

I felt sad reading that, it kinda broke my heart.

 

[julzinha]

I felt sad reading that, it kinda broke my heart.

Me too! I hate to see honest people being taken advantaged of.

 

[phynestone]

It's a shame that a man who takes care of his family would be labeled a sucka. ~~~~~~~~~~~ As dirty as this woman and her daughters are doing this man, sooner or later, every step parent I've known got the rude awakening that they are not blood.

This is exactly why I don't want a man with kids. People want you to help in the hard work of raising the kids, but are quick to say you aren't the parent when it comes down to discipline and other things.

 

[Britt]

It's a shame that a man who takes care of his family would be labeled a sucka. ~~~~~~~~~~~ As dirty as this woman and her daughters are doing this man, sooner or later, every step parent I've known got the rude awakening that they are not blood.

I called him a sucka bc he put up with this and the wife seems to be just fine with it. U misinterpreted my post - I don't think he's a sucka for providing. I think he's one for dealing with this situation.
Wife not reaching out to her ex hubby for child support. This man has been providing for all these years and contributing towards the wedding and can't even walk his step daughter down the aisle... Yeah the wife and daughter seems like they know how this man is and they're totally dismissing his feelings.

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[Britt]

Sad to say women are actually this trifling

True !
I know someone paying child support for a child that ain't even his - baby mamma knows said dude is a clown- all his women take him for a clown. We all know he's incredibly silly and naive when it comes to women and many things. I read this story and thought of him.

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[doll-baby]

I often times think these Strawberry Letters are fake. There is no way this be perceived as being petty. The honor of walking the bride down the aisle is for the man who raised her, not the deadbeat bio dad.

Yeah I've thought they were fake too especially with the recent one about the wife who invited her mother into a threesome with her husband... I had a hard time believing that.

But regarding this letter, the wife and the daughter should both be ashamed of themselves. Just because he is the biological father doesn't mean that he should get daddy privileges.

 

[BEAUTYU2U]

Yeah I've thought they were fake too especially with the recent one about the wife who invited her mother into a threesome with her husband... I had a hard time believing that.

But regarding this letter, the wife and the daughter should both be ashamed of themselves. Just because he is the biological father doesn't mean that he should get daddy privileges.

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