Spinoff: Would you help your SO pay for your E. Ring?

p31woman

p31woman

Well-Known Member
Reading the thread "How much he should pay for the Ring" and "Would you accept a fake Engagement Ring" got me to thinking....

Have any of you engaged or married ladies helped your SO or now DH finance or pay for your ring?

Be it you all split the price, you financed it (major credit card or store credit card) and he paid/pays for it, etc.

One of my friends who was recently married just revealved to me that although her DH purchased the ring on his credit card, "they" are now paying it off. She doesnt mind. Her DH fell onto hard times around the time they wanted to get married. They made an agreement that they would both pay the ring off.

Do you ladies see anythiong wrong with this?
 
I personally wouldn't care b/c I think its stupid for one person to spend too much money on a ring. He would mind though and I think he's too cheap to pay too much lol.
 
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I would prefer that he buy a ring that he can pay off before the marriage.
Once we are married, and our finances are commingled, his debts are my debts, my debts are his debts - so if he still owes on the ring, I guess I would be 'helping' to pay it off. :look:
 
no I don't see n e thing wrong with it personally

i also think jewelry is way over priced and I will probably be one of those people who come up with a personal symbol of love to another that most likely won't be an expensive piece of jewelry....I like alot of stones like rose quartz and jade and things like that that I think would make great symbols of love.....a ring or how much it costs has nothing to do with the amount of love between two people to me....and if somebody does spend alot and can't "afford" it or has to pay on it awhile then if the other person really loves them it shouldn't be a problem to help them pay for it if they need the help in paying for it....
 
p31woman said:
... One of my friends who was recently married just revealved to me that although her DH purchased the ring on his credit card, "they" are now paying it off. She doesnt mind. Her DH fell onto hard times around the time they wanted to get married. They made an agreement that they would both pay the ring off.

Do you ladies see anythiong wrong with this?
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I don't see anything wrong with this scenario because (as unfair as it may be) his debt becomes our debt when he goes from SO to DH. Plenty of people wind up helping their spouse pay down their debt so he or she can better contribute to shared expenses and your friend's actions are probably an example of that. :yep: Now, if my BF was soliciting my help right off the bat, I'd take that as a cue to suggest that he purchase a less expensive engagement ring. ;)
 
There's nothing wrong with it, but I wouldn't do it myself. Even if the ring is less expensive than I would have liked, the point for me that he he cared enough to use his own money to buy it. You can always upgrade in 5 years, and then you have more input into it.
 
I ended up completely out of a scenrio like that. FH couldn't afford an engagement ring at the time he proposed. We got married and had lovely wedding bands. I still had a husband. There are lots of woman with engagement rings and no husband. ETA: And the bill for the ring.

I tell people all the time you can be engaged without a ring. Of course I get looked at crossed eyed.
 
Bumping this old thread instead of starting a new one. An old friend confessed that she paid for her own ring. He asked her to put it on her credit card and said he’ll pay it off later. She’s getting divorced now and said she did it because she really wanted to be married. Now she regrets it. Of course he never paid a dime on it and she got stuck paying the whole thing off. Personally I don’t expect to contribute a dime to my own engagement ring. That’s all on him.
 
caribeandiva said:
Bumping this old thread instead of starting a new one. An old friend confessed that she paid for her own ring. He asked her to put it on her credit card and said he’ll pay it off later. She’s getting divorced now and said she did it because she really wanted to be married. Now she regrets it. Of course he never paid a dime on it and she got stuck paying the whole thing off. Personally I don’t expect to contribute a dime to my own engagement ring. That’s all on him.
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She didn't "help" him buy the ring though. She bought herself her ring. Unless she eloped or went to the courthouse quick, he should have started making payment on it before she said "I do". Him not was a huge flag that he was not reliable.

In a prior post I mentioned when I got engaged it was important that my DH get my ring as opposed to family gifting towards it. For me, personally, the engagement ring was a gesture for him to demonstrate his intention to marry me and his capacity to provide in the times I needed something (as opposed to a dude kicking his feet up and accepting something that is easy). A man doesn't have to buy a ring that costs more than a house to put some effort toward buying you something nice you will like in reasonable circumstances. Do not spoon feed a man the privilege of being with you. If you have to push the relationship down the aisle you will not be able to rely on him in a crisis...I promise.
 
MizAvalon said:
Hell no! What in the world?! :lachen:
If you’re that broke then you don’t need to be getting married. If y’all are really set on getting married then go to Walmart and get one of those little rings they have in their case and upgrade later when he can afford to.
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Your post took me back

My first bf from HS got me a promise ring from Walmart :lol:
Ironically enough, I’m pretty sure his mom helped pay and he was at least 18 with a job. The damn thing couldn’t have been more than $200 :lol:
 
Lylddlebit said:
She didn't "help" him buy the ring though. She bought herself her ring. Unless she eloped or went to the courthouse quick, he should have started making payment on it before she said "I do". Him not was a huge flag that he was not reliable.
Click to expand...
Gurl you said a word there!! Unreliable is an understatement. Another cautionary tale about seeing the red flags early on, rushing in anyway, and hoping marriage would fix it.
 
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