Spinoff: What's the most a man has done to "get" you?

[FluffyRed]

This is a spinoff to the question about how to pick a man up.

I truly believe if we kept in mind what these dudes are doing for SOME women, we would expect/demand more, and stop making things so easy for them. They WANT to work - let them.

What are some extreme lengths a man has gone to to get close to you?

I had a guy befriend me for a looooong time and later told me his intention. He waited like nine years. Now divorced, he may be trying to make a comeback!!

 

[JFemme]

This should be interesting...

 

[DarlingNikki]

I had a guy befriend me for a looooong time and later told me his intention. He waited like nine years.

I have a guy friend I have been close to for nine years too! He told me had feelings for me a couple of years ago but I told him it would not be a good idea. We are still close and go to each other for advice on relationships we are in at the moment. Who knows...maybe he is still waiting for his next move.....

But to answer your question, I had this one guy I was talking to call my parents and tell them he was in love with me. The thing is, me and him were not even that serious, so needless to say that ended real quick!

 

[Syrah]

I think how we judge the level of effort really depends on how we feel about that particular dude. Case in point, a dude that you're not feeling could sky write his love for you and you'd still think something is wrong with it. Girls dream of these magical proposals with fireworks and megatrons (I'm exaggerating obviously) - but I think if its the "right" guy, a proposal during an honest moment couldn't be more perfect. AND I say this because I think if its not the right guy any effort or $$$ amount spent will just not be enough.

The most I could ever WANT a guy to do is to look me in the eye, tell me he loves me because he felt it at that moment, and try to remind me through actions every day.

And if he's the right guy, there's no way any Laker games, London tickets, Louis Vuitton, Louboutin or Lucky Brand jeans could ever compete with that...

 

[Ramya]

One guy that I see around a lot and wouldn't give the time of a day decided that he was on a mission to get my attention. He would leave me notes with a rose attached everywhere. Like on my car or in the cafe or with my friends. Everybody wanted me to give him a chance. I still haven't but I think it's cute. He left a note on my car Friday and got a birthday gift delivered to me Saturday. This has been going on since August.

I have a few more stories like the above but I'd have to type the back story so it won't sound creepy lol. Any guy that wants me has to work for me. Nothing is free.

 

[Southernbella.]

Me and my dh and several friends all hung out in groups, so he knew my stance on dating (that I wasn't dating at all anymore until my husband came along). He did several things to ingratiate himself into my life.

1) He offered to accompany me when I drove my best friend back to college 3 hours away so that I could sleep on the way back. He paid for the gas, too. (we had never even talked on the phone at this point. I thought he was kind of weird for this, but I accepted the offer)

2) He set up several group outings just so he could see me. (At this point, I didn't like him. I thought he was annoying)

3) He called up my best friend and asked her what he should do. She was like, "I think you should ask her". He was at a loss and didn't know how to approach me. He told her that he was interested but he wanted to respect my boundaries. She said, "Again, talk to her about that". She was so mean to him. I love it!

4) He invited me to his godmother's house for dinner because he knew I was the one and he wanted her blessing before he pursued it (we were friends at this point)

5) He brought me medicine when I was sick (still just friends)

6) Once we started talking on the phone, he did all of the calling. And I mean ALL of it. I only returned phone calls...I never initiated. (still just friends)

7) He did this for a year, and we got to know each other really well. Even though he really wanted to take me out, he respected that I didn't date and never even asked me, and he didn't date anyone else, either.

8) Once he felt it was time, he told me he was in love with me and intended to marry me and that he was ready to start a relationship in preparation. Then he asked me on our first date.

 

[Southernbella.]

Oh, and somewhere in the middle of all that, he got a car and started saving up money. We were still in school at this point, so he didn't have much, but he got on his grind because he had a plan.

 

[FluffyRed]

Me and my dh and several friends all hung out in groups, so he knew my stance on dating (that I wasn't dating at all anymore until my husband came along). He did several things to ingratiate himself into my life.

1) He offered to accompany me when I drove my best friend back to college 3 hours away so that I could sleep on the way back. He paid for the gas, too. (we had never even talked on the phone at this point. I thought he was kind of weird for this, but I accepted the offer)

2) He set up several group outings just so he could see me. (At this point, I didn't like him. I thought he was annoying)

3) He called up my best friend and asked her what he should do. She was like, "I think you should ask her". He was at a loss and didn't know how to approach me. He told her that he was interested but he wanted to respect my boundaries. She said, "Again, talk to her about that". She was so mean to him. I love it!

4) He invited me to his godmother's house for dinner because he knew I was the one and he wanted her blessing before he pursued it (we were friends at this point)

5) He brought me medicine when I was sick (still just friends)

6) Once we started talking on the phone, he did all of the calling. And I mean ALL of it. I only returned phone calls...I never initiated. (still just friends)

7) He did this for a year, and we got to know each other really well. Even though he really wanted to take me out, he respected that I didn't date and never even asked me, and he didn't date anyone else, either.

8) Once he felt it was time, he told me he was in love with me and intended to marry me and that he was ready to start a relationship in preparation. Then he asked me on our first date.

LOVE your story, Southernbella!!!

My dude just told me i had never initiated contact with him in 20 years! damn! Does he really think he's been pursuing all this time? We'll see how it ends up!

 

[*5+5]

Okay I just posted this in the how did you meet your SO thread but here it goes.

I met my SO overseas on a deployment while we were both serving in the Reserves. He was in Iraq, I was in Kuwait. We met in a small Middle Eastern country call Qatar on a 4 day pass. When we met I made it clear I didn't want a boyfriend but he wasn't taken NO for an answer.

The 1st conversation we had, he told me he was going to marry me.

I only gave him an email address and once I returned to Kuwait I had 3 emails from him awaiting in my inbox.

In one of the emails he told me he was going to volunteer to be on the convoys that came to Kuwait twice a week and I urged him against it b/c I didn't want him risking his life for someone who didn't want more at the time.

He lived up to his word. Three days later he was at my base at my room.
And he came again the next week and on further until we departed.

This is rather small but I thought it was cute. I had never heard of myspace until SO told me about it. So I created a page while I was overseas and sent him a friend request. He put me as his #1 and only friend in his top 8, changed his relationship status to married and in his about me it read. "My top friend is going to be my wife, she's beautiful and has taken love at first sight from a fantasy to a reality."

I was thinking this dude is crazy...

Funny we had the same departure date. When I made it back home he kept that momentum and was trying to fly me out to his city.

When I got home I made him wait for about a month before I would see him b/c I wanted to see if he was serious.

When he flew me out to his city as soon as I got in the car he said I'm taking you to see my Mom. I was like NOOOOooooooo, b/c we hadn't even made it official yet.

We stayed at the Sheraton downtown Chicago and our room had a view of Lake Michigan, it was such a nice room and it was my first time ever going to Chicago. He took me to the Navy Pier for a boat ride, we went and took pictures out in front of the fountain that was in "Love Jones", the Sears Tower and a few other spots.

Soon as We put our stuff down at the hotel he took me to meet his friends and he was telling them, get use to her b/c she is going to be around forever. After that, we went to lunch at a blue's restaurant and he was sittin' at the bar looking a lil sad while I was playing with the staff. Then he walked outside. When I go outside he was standing at the door and he said "I want you to be my girl", I said sure in due time I have to do it at my own pace. He replied, "but it's been 3 months and I think I love you". That tipped the scale then, I was in....

 

[Vinyl]

Drove five hours to meet me in person for the first time while we were still friends.
Paid for me to come meet his family over the Holidays.

 

[CurliDiva]

Ok, all of these guys did not officially "get" me, but I appreciated the effort:

Guy A
Floor seats for a Prince concert!

Guy B
Drove across town to shove out my car after a snow storm and never asked to come in!

Guy C
I had a guy call companies (out of the phone book) asking for ME unitl he found the right one. When he called to chat, I asked "how" he got my work number since I hadn't gave him a business card. He knew my field, but said he had to try and find me. Luckily, he was FINE and my firm name was near the top of the list.

 

[CurliDiva]

Me and my dh and several friends all hung out in groups, so he knew my stance on dating (that I wasn't dating at all anymore until my husband came along). He did several things to ingratiate himself into my life.

1) He offered to accompany me when I drove my best friend back to college 3 hours away so that I could sleep on the way back. He paid for the gas, too. (we had never even talked on the phone at this point. I thought he was kind of weird for this, but I accepted the offer)

2) He set up several group outings just so he could see me. (At this point, I didn't like him. I thought he was annoying)

3) He called up my best friend and asked her what he should do. She was like, "I think you should ask her". He was at a loss and didn't know how to approach me. He told her that he was interested but he wanted to respect my boundaries. She said, "Again, talk to her about that". She was so mean to him. I love it!

4) He invited me to his godmother's house for dinner because he knew I was the one and he wanted her blessing before he pursued it (we were friends at this point)

5) He brought me medicine when I was sick (still just friends)

6) Once we started talking on the phone, he did all of the calling. And I mean ALL of it. I only returned phone calls...I never initiated. (still just friends)

7) He did this for a year, and we got to know each other really well. Even though he really wanted to take me out, he respected that I didn't date and never even asked me, and he didn't date anyone else, either.

8) Once he felt it was time, he told me he was in love with me and intended to marry me and that he was ready to start a relationship in preparation. Then he asked me on our first date.

Wow, now that is what I call a COURTSHIP!

Ladies, when a man is serious and ready.....HE (not you) will be the pursuing even when he is shy!

 

[gabulldawg]

My SO moved to SC to be with me about a year after we started dating. We were both in college together and I was about to graduate. He was dreading that we would have to do a long-distance relationship, and he surprised me by getting a job near where I was going to be living and moved up to SC shortly after I left.

 

[Lylddlebit]

~~~~~~~~~Deleted~~~~~~~~~~

 

[Paradox]

Why would you make a guy wait for nine years.

 

[FluffyRed]

it is SUCH a long story. I was very sheltered, we were in a group of friends. They made fun of me for being a virgin, he didn't defend me, then I got attacked and dropped out of school, moved out of state, moved to a third state - he kept in touch through all that, then he finally got married to someone 9 years later. after taking my mom to lunch and telling her that I didn't want to marry him. then I got married to someone else. Now we're both divorced.

I didn't mean to make him wait 9 years. I thought I would marry him. I was going through the psychological aftermath of being attacked. I didn't want any male to touch me, etc. And he didn't know how to help - we just didn't communicate well. .

 

[SilverSurfer]

This is how my DH got me back:

We had just started dating so he was a new boyfriend but my entire family and friends knew I was head over hills for him already. Well in the beginning he messed up real bad with me (not cheating) but he messed up and I stopped talking to him and stayed over my mom's place to try to avoid him showing up at my apartment. So he comes to my parent's place, he did not ask for me (I was hiding upstairs) but stated that he wanted to talk to them. So while they were seated at the dinner table and he got down on his one knee, stated how he wronged me and begged for THEIR forgiveness and bowed his head down, until they forgave him and motioned him to get up. I was peeping all this from the stairs and I was just so surprised that he would do something like that, it was totally unexpected. Matter of fact, I've never seen anything like that before so needless to say, after they forgave him, I came down stairs and we went outside to talk thus the relationship continued.