spinoff: dark skin women with long hair are

[divya]

she frequently heard "you're cute for a dark girl". that ish used to hurt me

but i have NEVER heard of what this thread addresses. NEVER. i think it's made up.

No offense but that comment reminds me of that AfAm/halfie chic on ANTM who straight dismissed the Indian girl's negatives experience being dark among fellow Indians. Her comment inferred that she was making it up/lying. Clearly the girl has not a clue the emphasis that color is often given among Indians. Just because it isnt your experience and/or you have never been exposed to it, does not make untrue.

 

[ChocoKitty]

exotic. IMO when your light skin with long hair it's the norm.
It's like it's no surprise. Your suppose to be the black women with the long hair. When your a dark skin women with long hair Exotic.
Dark skin women are suppose to have the short hair.

I think in a way that's a good thing because as a dark skin woman it make you stand out more when you have long hair.

The question is what do you'll think, do you think I'm wrong or right.

Maybe I'm misinterpreting Plove's post...

This is what I thought she was trying to say...
"Most folks assume that light skinned chicks can grow long hair with no problem. However, they also assume dark skinned chicks can't. Therefore-when a dark skinned chick does have long hair---she stands out."

I step will step out on a line and agree with this statement. Because I think anybody with long hair looks "exotic". Long hair is on anybody is beautiful to me. So if you're foolish enough to believe I'm "extra special" 'cause my hair is longer than you would expect for black woman that's your burden to bare.

My mother is "darker" than me but always had bra strap or longer thick hair until she cut it. However--I still get excited when I see "darker" skinned woman with long lush hair. Why? Because they are constantly proving my beliefs to be true. We can all grow hair if we learn how to take care of it it has nothing to with your "background".

 

[cocoberry10]

Maybe I'm misinterpreting Plove's post...

This is what I thought she was trying to say...
"Most folks assume that light skinned chicks can grow long hair with no problem. However, they also assume dark skinned chicks can't. Therefore-when a dark skinned chick does have long hair---she stands out."

I step will step out on a line and agree with this statement. Because I think anybody with long hair looks "exotic". Long hair is on anybody is beautiful to me. So if you're foolish enough to believe I'm "extra special" 'cause my hair is longer than you would expect for black woman that's your burden to bare.

My mother is "darker" than me but always had bra strap or longer thick hair until she cut it. However--I still get excited when I see "darker" skinned woman with long lush hair. Why? Because they are constantly proving my beliefs to be true. We can all grow hair if we learn how to take care of it it has nothing to with your "background".

That's a good way to thing about it. Thanks for your perspective. I agree, and I think that's what plove was trying to say. However, whenever we make comments about hair texture/complexion, it will stir up emotions, as it is an emotional issue! However, I love the knowledge, wisdom, guidance and friendship I've gained on LHCF and seeing all those beautiful heads of hair, whether short, long, kinky, curly, wavy, blonde, black or orange and I don't even know any of you personally!

 

[blkbeauty]

Never thought about it. I believe that it has some truth to it. Just like I find lightskin women with short hair to be exotice.g Halle, Salli R and Jada when they had shorter hair.

 

[Lynnerie]

This topic is quite familiar in my experience. I am dark skin with long hair that is naturally curly/wavy. Growing up, It was strange and often irritating to me that people found my combination of hair and complexion to be so exotic or so out of the ordinary. Some of the opposite sex who usually like light skin girls would view me as the exception and some even would vocalize it. My family is from Trinidad so people like me are normal there. Of course, here in the U.S. it’s often different/viewed differently. Now as an adult, it's less of an issue probably for a number of reasons and then I’ve just gotten more used to it…

Currygyal,

I totally agree with you and if anybody feels that these types of things do not occur tell me where you live so I can move. My girlfriend is dark skin with long hair and a guy who expressed that he preferred light skinned women told her he would date her because she had long hair. He told her she was different. She said why? He was like, you have long hair. It wasn't wavy or curly either.It was 4ab,long and thick. So yes, people love that hair. I even heard someone on a hair show say "Its not about skin color anymore, its about the hair." People who are ignorant..(who don't know) are surprised when dark skinned girls have long hair. I also agree that lighter skinned women with long hair get these questions too but not from other blacks as much. Yes, white folks may act surprised with all blacks with long hair cause they don't know. I'm dark skin and my hair is not what i consider long. But people act surprised. As if i can't have 4ab hair thats a nice length. So when people make these comments, just pass them off as being ignorant. I hope one day our kids won't have to grow up like this. But my opinion is, not happening anytime soon. Thanks for LHCF to dispell the myths and eduate others. Happy hair growing to you all.

 

[MissYocairis]

The thread about BEYONCE is what made me think about this,
It was said in that thread that Beyonce was the total package she has the hair, the body and is LIGHTskined. Need I say more.
Go look in the thread and you will see it for you self.

ah, please do not relegate a 30-plus page objective discussion to a mere "soundbyte" if you will that someone may have posted in a completely different context. That thread isn't and wasn't about her being light or wearing a wig and it also had nothing to do with "long hair and light skin" go together.

I still never experienced the concept of long hair with skintone. I understand and respect that many of you have however, I just haven't seen it and don't see it. I have a first cousin who is darker than Kenya Moore and has ALWAYS had longer hair. (BSL and so on) It's also ALWAYS been longer than mine. None of the ladies in my mostly light-skinned family have/had hair past their shoulders. NONE...cept her and she's the only dark brown one.

Lastly, I guess I'm in the light box.....but I also have been asked many times over the years "what are you?" Just a couple months ago, some African dude asked me if I was from Nigeria. Then a month later a Jamaican dude asked me if I was from Jamaica. What's all THAT mean? It means let's not be so QUICK to assume that perceptions about hair and skin are all interconnected in people's minds and that they've never had the benefit of seeing/knowing/meeting sisters of darker hues with longer hair. I feel like it just perpetuates mass hysteria and discord among us. You don't have to be darker to look exotic and you don't have to have long hair for it either.

 

[MissYocairis]

but i have NEVER heard of what this thread addresses. NEVER. i think it's made up.

additionally, i think it's kind of insulting to the light women on this board that have fought long and hard to have healthy hair. to suggest that it goes goes along with being light is dismissive. IMveryHO.

ITA!!!!

 

[MissYocairis]

Okay, after having read the entire thread, Plove and others, I can see how this kind of thinking can exist so I do want to be clear on that. I'm not tryna give y'all heat about whether this kind of thing really happens. Someone had a good point about every individual focusing on his/her own experience without having a chance to observe someone else's experience as well. But, it should be thrown right in the box with all the other erroneous assumptions about our varied skin tones.

I, for one, really HATE hearing all the stories of how we are approached and judged as women to be deemed acceptable or unacceptable all solely based on our hair length or skin tone. It's ridiculous. Our brothers are perpetuating this thing in more ways than one.

 

[Cheleigh]

I, for one, really HATE hearing all the stories of how we are approached and judged as women to be deemed acceptable or unacceptable all solely based on our hair length or skin tone. It's ridiculous. Our brothers are perpetuating this thing in more ways than one.

And those of us who benefit from it often encourage it (or do nothing to discourage it, rather). I know that when people used to say I was a chocolate chip with long pretty hair, or that I must be mixed with Indian--I said nothing or giggled or whatever. I was actually perpetuating the issue with my non-response because I think secrectly I LIKED being segregated in that way, the same way brothers used to say "why can't more black women be like "you," by way of excuse as to why they dated non-black women. By being silent, I perpetuated their ignorance and disrespect of ALL black women.

 

[plove]

Maybe I'm misinterpreting Plove's post...

This is what I thought she was trying to say...
"Most folks assume that light skinned chicks can grow long hair with no problem. However, they also assume dark skinned chicks can't. Therefore-when a dark skinned chick does have long hair---she stands out."

I step will step out on a line and agree with this statement. Because I think anybody with long hair looks "exotic". Long hair is on anybody is beautiful to me. So if you're foolish enough to believe I'm "extra special" 'cause my hair is longer than you would expect for black woman that's your burden to bare.

My mother is "darker" than me but always had bra strap or longer thick hair until she cut it. However--I still get excited when I see "darker" skinned woman with long lush hair. Why? Because they are constantly proving my beliefs to be true. We can all grow hair if we learn how to take care of it it has nothing to with your "background".

I want to thank you because this is what I was trying to say.

 

[ChocoKitty]

I want to thank you because this is what I was trying to say.

You're welcome, Plove.

 

[MissYocairis]

And those of us who benefit from it often encourage it (or do nothing to discourage it, rather). I know that when people used to say I was a chocolate chip with long pretty hair, or that I must be mixed with Indian--I said nothing or giggled or whatever. I was actually perpetuating the issue with my non-response because I think secrectly I LIKED being segregated in that way, the same way brothers used to say "why can't more black women be like "you," by way of excuse as to why they dated non-black women. By being silent, I perpetuated their ignorance and disrespect of ALL black women.

Interesting and true. I was always offended when a man told me he liked me because I was "hi-yella/redbone/lightskinned". That was offensive to me. I just never wanted to be liked for that. It's not a valid reason. It doesn't speak to character or values or personality or intelligence. And, it's divisive. Same thing with hair. I find being with a man who finds long and short hair attractive is more rewarding for me than being with a man who ONLY likes long hair. Why? Because my hair choices are my own and I want them to be independent of my SO's wants. He's got to be able to love me if I decide to get it cut or if I HAVE to get it cut.

 

[SandySea]

Haven't read all of the post but decided I would speak on my experiences...


My best friend and her sister were chocolate with this amazingly long thick hair. When it was permed, their hair looked like silk. Whenever we went out, the women would make jokes and comments about their 'weaves"/"wigs" and trying to look white. I had to stop many of the women from running their fingers through their hair. People did not believe they had that type of hair. I asked one of the women because I became frustrated, why did she assume my girlfriend had a weave? She told me point blank, Dark skinned women should have short hair not long hair. In the middle of a currency exchange in Chicago, she said this and everybody looked in agreement. I didn't know what to say. Until someone in the place said Unless she got some indian in her family. Everybody seemed to accept that answer.

People will believe what they want to believe. What comes out of their mouth is their own ignorance. Its best to develop yourself and bump the naysayers. Because there will always be some.

Wow, I can't believe someone had the nerve to say or think that. We should have short hair?!

Anyhow, I think it's great to have a forum where we can discuss even difficult issues. We all have different experiences and it's good to be able to help others through the issues that they are confronted with. I, like many others, was raised in a family with all different complexions and I was taught that they were all beautiful. However, I realize that not everyone feels this way. I think this dialogue is great.

 

[itismehmmkay]

Maybe I'm misinterpreting Plove's post...

This is what I thought she was trying to say...
"Most folks assume that light skinned chicks can grow long hair with no problem. However, they also assume dark skinned chicks can't. Therefore-when a dark skinned chick does have long hair---she stands out."

I step will step out on a line and agree with this statement. Because I think anybody with long hair looks "exotic". Long hair is on anybody is beautiful to me. So if you're foolish enough to believe I'm "extra special" 'cause my hair is longer than you would expect for black woman that's your burden to bare.

My mother is "darker" than me but always had bra strap or longer thick hair until she cut it. However--I still get excited when I see "darker" skinned woman with long lush hair. Why? Because they are constantly proving my beliefs to be true. We can all grow hair if we learn how to take care of it it has nothing to with your "background".

I figured this is what Plove meant as well and I, too, understand where she's coming from.

 

[FAMUDva]

You know what? I remember reading an interview of Kenya Moore when she was shooting the movie Trois. They got on the subject of her hair and complexion. She said, 'people ask me all of the time if this is my real hair. I wonder would they ask the same if I were light skinned.' Interesting...

Unfortunately I feel like this happens more often than not. I understand the point behind what the OP was saying. I think it happens and but I don't think it's right. And yes, I think it's like someone saying, I'm cute to be dark... That happens too. Neither are right, but both are a reality... for me anyway.

And I must say, I don't see my lighter skinned friends get the same comments.

 

[Miss*Tress]

Haven't read all of the post but decided I would speak on my experiences...


My best friend and her sister were chocolate with this amazingly long thick hair. When it was permed, their hair looked like silk. Whenever we went out, the women would make jokes and comments about their 'weaves"/"wigs" and trying to look white. I had to stop many of the women from running their fingers through their hair. People did not believe they had that type of hair. I asked one of the women because I became frustrated, why did she assume my girlfriend had a weave? She told me point blank, Dark skinned women should have short hair not long hair. In the middle of a currency exchange in Chicago, she said this and everybody looked in agreement. I didn't know what to say. Until someone in the place said Unless she got some indian in her family. Everybody seemed to accept that answer.

People will believe what they want to believe. What comes out of their mouth is their own ignorance. Its best to develop yourself and bump the naysayers. Because there will always be some.

I agree with everything you say here. While no one has ever told me I should have short hair, one guy told me I didn't have the right texture hair and it looks fake. I'm dark with type 3 hair - a combination he must have found to be "unexpected" (for lack of a better word).

Unfortunately it does bother me when people think my hair is not my own, but I am learning to take it more in stride. As you say, it shows their own ignorance and does not reflect on me in any way.

 

[trinigul]

Length or texture prompts crazy responses. I'm a very dark-skinned chick with very curly twa. I had to beg another black chick to believe that I am just BLACK. She looks at my hair and says, "Nah, there's some mixture up in there." It was at a predominantly lily function. Needless to say people thought our conversation very strange since non-blacks don't tend to get into fractions.

Maybe some people need to pick up National Geographic or something so that they could see the gamut of black beauty. Either that or travel. There's certainly no template for us.