Spinoff of a Spinoff: Does Your Hair Texture and Skin Color "Conflict"

[Junebug D]

My son is a light-bright, high-yellow kid and has 4a/4b hair. It is on the finer side, and wiry, and the longer it grows, the more it shrinks.

Want pics? They're in my Fotki, but I'll post them if y'all want proof...

My grandfather is the color of a dark chocolate Hershey bar, and his hair was 3b/3cish. But, I don't have access to post any of his old pics online, and he's bald now.

I can relate...

 

[NaturallyBlonde]

With people's perceived notions of what you should have (i.e. dark skin/3b or mixed/lighter skin/4b)? How has your hair advice been taken and how has it affected the way it is perceived?

I've noticed that in a couple of recent threads that this notion is highly conflated, especially in the black community. It has been so prevalent in fact that I've had people stare at me with 2 heads when I've told them that I don't use a curl or texturizer or that my hair is naturally like this. I never realized how prevalent this idea was until those experiences and when I joined this board. Do you notice this general rule to be true? In my personal experience, the inverse has usually occurred- especially in my family. For that reason, I've always associated darker skin with longer and/or loosely curled hair

I have a friend who I have convinced to go natural. When we were talking about it (CW, DC, moisturizing, sealing, etc), she said it would be different for her cuz her hair wasn't like mine and I'm mixed so it wouldn't work. She was not trying to hear it AT ALL. I said girl PLEASE. We probably have the same type. She thought cuz I'm light skinned I automatically have "good" hair.

 

[Aviah]

I'm kinda in betweeny colored. I can be lighter in the winter and darker in the summer. People still think my hair isn't mine or are suprised that its curly/coily naturally. I'm not sure what to make of that...

 

[Neith]

"They" really did a number on us.

How can we allow ourselves to be so easily divided? Don't we get enough crap from outside our race?

BLACK is BLACK. We come in all different colors with different types of hair. There is nothing "uncommon" about a light person with kinky hair or a dark person with curly hair.

 

[princessnad]

LOL, if I had that hair anyway, why was it sewn in to my head?

That made me laught out loud

 

[ladylibra]

"They" really did a number on us.

How can we allow ourselves to be so easily divided? Don't we get enough crap from outside our race?

BLACK is BLACK. We come in all different colors with different types of hair. There is nothing "uncommon" about a light person with kinky hair or a dark person with curly hair.

So good of a number, that we took over the job of perpetuating these issues ourselves. Most of "them" now don't even know these things until "we" tell them our false facts about blackness.

I know, a different discussion for a different time. I'll get off my soapbox now...

 

[ceebee3]

I'm so glad I didn't grow up with negative sterotypes of afro-textured hair. It wasn't until I was in high school did I see that it really was this huge problem.

 

[PerplexingComplex]

I'm so glad I didn't grow up with negative sterotypes of afro-textured hair. It wasn't until I was in high school did I see that it really was this huge problem.

For me, it was in college. I lived in a predominately black area most of my life, with natural hair and people never said anything to me until they would see one of my cousins. Then it became, "why your hair don't look like that?"

 

[ceebee3]

I know the whole issue is so crazy, but I've never heard these things from non-blacks. It's like they know we come in many shades and textures but a lot of US don't know.

 

[Aggie]

Nope...I am dark with nappy hair also, so I don't have this problem either.

 

[SweetSpirit86]

I know the whole issue is so crazy, but I've never heard these things from non-blacks. It's like they know we come in many shades and textures but a lot of US don't know.

ITA. It was high school for me as well...but I had the opposite upbringing. I went from white -> black on fellow students.

 

[MissMeWithThatIsh]

People think the same of my brother. I had never even heard the term until he told me some Carib people had mentioned it. He has "silky" looking hair with perfectly defined curls (on the larger side of the "4a" spectrum). He is often mistaken for having East African or Middle Eastern heritage. The fact of the matter is that within our own country, there are a wide variety of looks but they think his features look more like they belong to those aforementioned groups. I'm sure the hair adds fuel to the fire.

I don't think people are confused about the type of hair I have since I'm your regular brown-skinned woman.

Yes, I know what you mean. These Nigerian chicks said that to me when I was younger. TBT I don't think I have super "coolie" hair. It's not shiny and silky, but there are waves and curls all over. When I would get a touchup, I would have that "shiny silky" Maia Campbell look... til I washed.

I think it's more styling techniques and assumptions. We're all mixed somehow, but WHY is what's on MY head and how I deal with it important to you? You can rub my kitchen and get my hair...

 

[tocktick]

Yes, I know what you mean. These Nigerian chicks said that to me when I was younger. TBT I don't think I have super "coolie" hair. It's not shiny and silky, but there are waves and curls all over. When I would get a touchup, I would have that "shiny silky" Maia Campbell look... til I washed.

I think it's more styling techniques and assumptions. We're all mixed somehow, but WHY is what's on MY head and how I deal with it important to you? You can rub my kitchen and get my hair...

OT: Funnily enough, my brother and I are Nigerian. So it's strange when even other Nigerians confuse him for something else or ask if he's mixed. They should know there is a certain group of people in the country who have his kind of "look" so it's not beyond the realms of reality for him to not be mixed with anything. When other Nigerians play "guess the ethnicity" with me, they always get it right. Funny.

 

[Hairsofab]

I'm not going to act brand new and lie. I usually do associate skin color and hair type. I realize anyone can have any hair type regardless of skin color. But most people I see with loose curls or mixed chick type hair are either mixed or at least not very dark.Although I never thought about hair type much before joining this board. I don't understand why this is a negative thing though?

 

[bravenewgirl87]

LOL. All the time. People stare at me, my skin tone and my hair. In their minds, I KNOW they are shaking their heads. I think its hilarity.

 

[bravenewgirl87]

I'm not going to act brand new and lie. I usually do associate skin color and hair type. I realize anyone can have any hair type regardless of skin color. But most people I see with loose curls or mixed chick type hair are either mixed or at least not very dark.Although I never thought about hair type much before joining this board. I don't understand why this is a negative thing though?

Its not a bad thing at all. It is human nature. SoFla has a lot of Caribbean people and when I see dark-skinned girls with wavy, silky, or curly hair, I have a habit of assuming they are "coolie." Sorry.

Basically, you're not alone.

 

[peony]

I have two sons, my older son is deep brown with smooth loose curls, my baby is light skinned with very tight coily coarse hair. When my older son was a baby, his hair was very straight and jet black and people were forever asking me if his father was Indian, or, if we were visiting New York, Dominican. My husband and I are both Black American. My older son told me a few months ago that his hair doesn't go with his color, and said he wanted to cut his hair very short so that it would look like his dad and brother's and the other Black boys at school. We spent weeks trying to explain to him that all hair was beautiful and that our people come in lots of different color/hair combinations. My husband's hair is wavy/coarse and I showed him that daddy's hair was different from his brother's, and that each of the Black boys in his class had different textures, but he said "but they all have hair that is flat." (he meant close to the head, I guess.) I would have just cut it low, but his hair kicks straight up weirdly in the front when its very short, so he needs some length at the top. What finally made him accept his hair was seeing his older cousin, who has even looser curls than he has, with his hair grown out. He idolizes this cousin and so he figured having curls was okay if his cousin had them.

 

[Cherokee-n-Black]

I guess I know too many exceptions to be hung up on the rules. I just love beautiful hair, on everybody. I think it's sometimes unexpected to see darker women with longer, 3whatever, 2whatever and so on, but I don't know, it seemed like growing up, those girls were considered the "crown jewels." A lighter skinned person with long hair was kinda like, meh, you see that all the time.

 

[aquajoyice]

When I wear my hair down I get a lot of "are you mixed" because of the length and I do curly and straight styles. I consider myself to be of a darker complexion and some think i'm medium to dark or light to medium, depending on what their skin color is. As for me I have no clue becuase i'm not big on skin color I just know i'm African American.

 

[Pink Hair23]

Because black people are probably the most diverse culture in America, we can expect to be all shades of colors with all hair types. However, I do not think 4a+4b= 2a. Generally 1c-2c hair types are characteristic of European descent. I've never been to an African country, but I've read plenty of books: both fact and fiction. but all depicted slaves as having coarse hair, broad noses, and dark skin. This is,of course, where the stereotype comes from. We as African Americans have since been exposed to other races and ethnic groups i.e Indians.
This is where the diversity comes in to play. Both my mother, father, grandmothers, and grandfathers were 4ab and so am I. There aren't that many 4b white people or 1c black people. That's no coincidence.

 

[CaliDiamond]

Yep... I'm not supposed to have curls since I'm dark skinned. So I must be mixed with something.

I am chocolate brown 4a/b (3c in the nape and crown) and I get this quite a bit when I shingle my hair. Even before when I was completely natural, mostly black people would ask me where I bought my kinky weave hair.

 

[keepithealthy]

One of my sisters is lighter than me with suuuuper kinky hair 4b and I have a dark sister with the same kind of suuuper kinky hair 4b. My youngest sister who is darkskinned has really loose curls ....and me I think I'm a 3c 4a mixture soooo go figure!!

 

[CaliDiamond]

It's refreshing to know that so many folks on this board are open-minded and willing to talk about these issues. Most black women I talk to give me that "don't go there" look when I try and discuss these things with my sisters. I think to myself "so when is a good time to talk about it?"

BUMPING

 

[melissa-bee]

I'm dark skinned and have 4ab hair.

 

[LatterGlory]

________________________

 

[jupitermoon]

I agree with Mrs BHF. I'm a brown/dark lady with what people would consider "type 3ish" hair, but somehow my hair fits me. Most people (white, black, and other) assume that my hair is natural and mine.

 

[Mizz Diamonds]

It's only recently online and stuff is where I here people equate skin colour and hair texture I mean look at Tatiana Ali (Ashley from the fresh prince of Bel Air) and Chilli from TLC they are dark skin yes both of them have mixed ancestry but they have hair in the
2s and 3s I am dark skin and have often been mistaken for being mixed with asian (south east asian, east asian and south asian) or Indo-Carribean.

What I heard sometimes from people IRL is that if you were light skin and had long hair you were mixed with another race that has light skin and if you were dark skin and had long hair you were mixed with another race that had dark skin.

Skin colour and Hair texture have nothing to do with each other so when I hear people mention how one of their fam members won't belive a girl on the board hair is due to hard work they dismiss it and point out "oh she is light skinned and has that good hair."
I just never got it.

 

[Ronnieaj]

I'm medium brown and 4a, super-coily hair. Some 4b and 3c patches, but fairly minor. My good friend is much darker than me and is 3c, another friend is lighter and also 3c. I "think" I match, but I've never given much thought of it. So much of my family is mixed though, and I see a LOT of different textures as a result--you know, that "good" biracial hair versus the biracial hair. Whatever. As long as the hair is well tended I think those classifications are a bunch of bull.

 

[LadyRaider]

I once asked a scientist about skin color.

I have an aunt and an uncle who are both light skinned. They had one dark skinned baby (the pretty one...heh) and one light skinned girl. I mean she's seriously light skinned... whiter than both her parents and some white folks (but she's got some serious stereotypical black features --nose, lips -- so no one is going to mistake her for white.)

Anyway... I asked because those two light skinned parents produced a dark brown baby and that didn't sound right.

The scientist said that skin just has too many factors going on. It's almost impossible to predict and doesn't just simply go by recessive/dominant genes like eye color.

By the way...
The darker cousin as long hair but probably in the threes.
The lighter cousin does have basically 2a hair or so.

But the darker cousin has less pronounced "stereotyped" black features.

 

[Neith]

Depending on who you ask I am light or medium and my hair is curly or nappy.

I've had people say I have "good" hair (makes me ) and I've had people say I have brillo hair. I've had people assume I'm biracial (I'm guessing because of skin color?) and people who don't perceive me as being different at all.

Perception is different for everyone.

If you ask me, I look "normal" though. How does a black person look anyway? I've always thought we came in all colors and textures since childhood.