So Exactly What Do You Do All Day?

PrissiSippi

PrissiSippi

Simply Komplex
This is just a vent/rant

I quit my job as a teacher. Of course I love it so far. However I hate the comments.

My coworker called me up. Black male. Kind of a Debbie Downer to me so I blocked him on social media but we're cool. So he texts me every week or so asking if I'm okay and how is the family life. I think he assumes since I quit my job I'm having some kind of mental breakdown. I quit to become a stay at home mom/wife. HIS WIFE IS THE SAME THING. However she is a Becky in my eyes. She's Indian. She doesn't cook. I assume she doesn't clean or mother by the appearance of said coworker.

So he casually texts me: How are you. I reply I'm great. He asks me what do I do all day? I don't understand the question. I mean I do the same thing that your Humpty Dumpty wife does. Lol. Just for dips and giggles I reply: Nothing. Take care of myself. Relax. And get spoiled by my husband. He responds I hope you do realize you have to do the spoiling too.

Bihhh does your wife spoil you? That's why you bring in a head of lettuce and tomatoes into work everyday and make a salad for lunch. Your wife couldn't "spoil" you and make you lunch. I mean y'all have no kids. She has no job. Y'all just got a house. So do you ask her what does she do all day?

Or do you verbally say women should have he option of being a SAHM/SAHW but you really mean non-black woman have the option. Black women do not have this option. Because I really get the vibes he feels like he has arrived because of his wife. And I can't pinpoint it but I feel it's because of her race. But she's sooo lazy. He claims she doesn't do oral. His mother can't stand her because of said laziness. He asked her to work part time for this particular house she wanted that he bought but she refused. But he will drink her bath water. Lol.

I'm not anywhere near her level of sloth, but I don't have the choice to be lazy do I? I'm just a black woman lol.

I respond to the text casually "of course! He deserves the best and more." And end the conversation.

Other rant

Why does everyone try to GIVE me a job. I mean every two days I have a new friend trying to send me links to jobs. Science teacher. Science specialist. Nanny. Drive kids home from school each day. Bruh didn't I tell you I WANTED to take a year off. I'm not taking a year off to do even more mediocre tasks I could give a crap about!

Do I seem like I'm struggling? Has my lifestyle changed? Has my demeanor changed? Or does my carefreeness upset or confuse you. Why is it so far fetched to believe? I don't want your crummy jobs. I didn't leave one piece of crap to simply go to another piece of crap job that is either even farther away or pays less than the piece of crap job I had. Lol. What gives. Lol. Plus I got a whole husband. We good bruh.

And it's so weird to me because one of the people giving me jobs took a whole year off of working herself and depending on her fiancé at the time. Maybe they were mistreated and I just don't know. Maybe they didn't enjoy it. I dunno. But what gives. I'm enjoying this season in my life. No matter how brief it is.
 
Nope nope nope. I would nip that in the bud. I wouldn't text that man back and I would tell anyone emailing me jobs that I'm not interested and stop emailing me or you'll get blocked.

I ask my friends how their day was if we're catching up, but I don't ask rude follow up questions or offer my advice if their day doesn't "live up" to random expectations.

If someone I'm close to that usually is very busy and active suddenly seems to be doing nothing I'll probably inquire to make sure their mental health is okay, but aside from that what they do every day is their business.
 
toaster said:
Nope nope nope. I would nip that in the bud. I wouldn't text that man back and I would tell anyone emailing me jobs that I'm not interested and stop emailing me or you'll get blocked.

I ask my friends how their day was if we're catching up, but I don't ask rude follow up questions or offer my advice if their day doesn't "live up" to random expectations.

If someone I'm close to that usually is very busy and active suddenly seems to be doing nothing I'll probably inquire to make sure their mental health is okay, but aside from that what they do every day is their business.
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To the second girl I responded: Work is Overrated. I'm enjoying spending time with the family. #VacationIsLife

Did I say enough?

My first coworker didn't respond after I said the of course my husband deserves that and more. So our conversation ended there.
 
PrissiSippi said:
To the second girl I responded: Work is Overrated. I'm enjoying spending time with the family. #VacationIsLife

Did I say enough?

My first coworker didn't respond after I said the of course my husband deserves that and more. So our conversation ended there.
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I just think whether this time of your life is temporary or you never work again, that's a decision you make with your husband and everyone else gets on the train or they can get off.
 
People are sooo nosy. I bet he was fishing to see what you do as a SAHM/SAHW so he can badger his wife about it.

I have NEVER EVER EVER met an Indian Woman (with kids or none) who DOES NOT cook. Boy looka here. I bet another Indian man wouldn't even be having that. I wonder if because he is black SHE said SHE ain't having that. I mean I have never. Indian women I know are the bomb cooks and cook all daggone day. I got a staff member (extremely educated as is her husband) with one child and I swear all this woman does in her free time is COOK. She still does high tea on weekends chile.
 
naturalgyrl5199 said:
People are sooo nosy. I bet he was fishing to see what you do as a SAHM/SAHW so he can badger his wife about it.

I have NEVER EVER EVER met an Indian Woman (with kids or none) who DOES NOT cook. Boy looka here. I bet another Indian man wouldn't even be having that. I wonder if because he is black SHE said SHE ain't having that. I mean I have never. Indian women I know are the bomb cooks and cook all daggone day. I got a staff member (extremely educated as is her husband) with one child and I swear all this woman does in her free time is COOK. She still does high tea on weekends chile.
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Now that you say it....you're right. I've never met another Indian that wasn't a great cook and who didn't cook.

And a wife that doesn't do oral. That's another story. He was so giddy. Smiling from ear to ear. He said but TRUST she makes up in other areas. But whyyyy. But how? Hmmmm. Let that had been a black girl. He'd be like chick you're childish. Even though we been together ten years and got ten kids we can't marry because you're just childish. lol.

Becky swoops in though and he's like yeah I love my wife. I worship my wife. I dunno what it is about her. All my brothers married light skinned women.

But bruh your mama black with a Micheal Jackson nose just like me. What's really good?
 
naturalgyrl5199 said:
BTW...its time to cut that nosey one for good. There is a reason you cut him from SM.
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I think you're right. I told him no hard feelings but I didn't like his negativity on my timeline. Every time I would cook (you follow me so you know I've been all into that plating and presentations) he comments I can't cook. I delete it before y'all can see most of the time. But I got tired of it. I'm like. Look bruh. Can your wife cook? Don't check me. I'm not your to do list.
 
I've been a sahm for seven years. When my kids were toddlers my mother would ask me how I'm able to get anything done. Once all my kids started school she would ask me what I do all day. Ummm.....run errands in half the amount of time it used to take me. Laundry for five people, clean my house, plan meals, volunteer at my kids schools, manage the family calendar and I have a child with a learning disability. Corresponding with her teacher and all the people on her team takes up a fair amount of time and I also supplement at home. My kids are happy, healthy, eat home cooked meals, get plenty of sleep in a peaceful, stable home and are well-mannered in public. My husband doesn't worry about anything concerning the kids or the inside of the house because he knows I got it. My husband loves to come home at the end of the day because its home. What we've built didn't happen by chance and its my pleasure to maintain our home. Of course there are days I don't do anything and that's my right. I go get a pedicure, have lunch with a friend or surf the internet, then take a nap. I don't owe anyone any money so nobody needs to know what I do all day. Sometimes I'll say, "What do you do all day?" That usually shuts everything down.
 
PrissiSippi said:
Now that you say it....you're right. I've never met another Indian that wasn't a great cook and who didn't cook.

And a wife that doesn't do oral. That's another story. He was so giddy. Smiling from ear to ear. He said but TRUST she makes up in other areas. But whyyyy. But how? Hmmmm. Let that had been a black girl. He'd be like chick you're childish. Even though we been together ten years and got ten kids we can't marry because you're just childish. lol.

Becky swoops in though and he's like yeah I love my wife. I worship my wife. I dunno what it is about her. All my brothers married light skinned women.

But bruh your mama black with a Micheal Jackson nose just like me. What's really good?
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Listen, I have learned that I am no longer interested in being friends with any BM or hell, any man, who doesn't have respect for BW. Sometimes, it's easier said than done because it may not be obvious right away. However, I don't want their insecurities, negativity into my space. Ditch him.
 
mrselle said:
I've been a sahm for seven years. When my kids were toddlers my mother would ask me how I'm able to get anything done. Once all my kids started school she would ask me what I do all day. Ummm.....run errands in half the amount of time it used to take me. Laundry for five people, clean my house, plan meals, volunteer at my kids schools, manage the family calendar and I have a child with a learning disability. Corresponding with her teacher and all the people on her team takes up a fair amount of time and I also supplement at home. My kids are happy, healthy, eat home cooked meals, get plenty of sleep in a peaceful, stable home and are well-mannered in public. My husband doesn't worry about anything concerning the kids or the inside of the house because he knows I got it. My husband loves to come home at the end of the day because its home. What we've built didn't happen by chance and its my pleasure to maintain our home. Of course there are days I don't do anything and that's my right. I go get a pedicure, have lunch with a friend or surf the internet, then take a nap. I don't owe anyone any money so nobody needs to know what I do all day. Sometimes I'll say, "What do you do all day?" That usually shuts everything down.
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Ooooh weee say it! This whole post spoke to me.

If I were to be literal this is actually what I do all day and the day runs so much smoother with me it running on fumes. Buuuut in Mississippi I guess I shouldn't expect many to understand
 
toaster said:
I just think whether this time of your life is temporary or you never work again, that's a decision you make with your husband and everyone else gets on the train or they can get off.
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Right! I wouldn't even respond to his nosy self. I'm not even a blocker, and I block his number.
Also, whether or not she gives oral is not something you should know or ya'll should discuss.
He is all kinds of inappropriate.
Goodbye former coworker.
 
PrissiSippi said:
Now that you say it....you're right. I've never met another Indian that wasn't a great cook and who didn't cook.

And a wife that doesn't do oral. That's another story. He was so giddy. Smiling from ear to ear. He said but TRUST she makes up in other areas. But whyyyy. But how? Hmmmm. Let that had been a black girl. He'd be like chick you're childish. Even though we been together ten years and got ten kids we can't marry because you're just childish. lol.

Becky swoops in though and he's like yeah I love my wife. I worship my wife. I dunno what it is about her. All my brothers married light skinned women.

But bruh your mama black with a Micheal Jackson nose just like me. What's really good?
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She lets him what what in the butt!
 
shortdub78 said:
She lets him what what in the butt!
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I was thinking the same thing...


About you not working... to some people the concept that you can live well without working or on one income is so foreign they can't even fathom the thought.. but they're projecting... don't even give it any extra thought.

I went through this myself after my father died. I took some time off to settle his estate and didn't need to work at the time. But every time I met someone new and they asked what I did for a living, I felt bad that I didn't have a job and would explain my circumstance to kind of prove that I wasn't a bum. But my man was like stop doing that.. it's not anyone's business and who cares what they think. He was right...
 
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DeRay said:
I was thinking the same thing...


About you not working... to some people the concept that you can live well without working or on one income is so foreign they can't even fathom the thought.. but they're projecting... don't even give it any extra thought.

I went through this myself after my father died. I took some time off to settle his estate and didn't need to work at the time. But every time I met someone new and they asked what I did for a living, I felt bad that I didn't have a job and would explain my circumstance to kind of prove that I wasn't a bum. But my man was like stop doing that.. it's not anyone's business and who cares what they think. He was right...
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My condolences and yeah you're right. At first I tried to make this long list about what I'm doing because I am still doing a lot but then I was like look lady. You're almost 30. Stop caring so much. What are you doing? Taking care of yourself and doing that well. End of the story.
 
BEAUTYU2U said:
Some of them may not even realize what they're doing, just programmed to believe a BW/SAHM/Black SAHM needs to be "earning her keep."
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Well, as a black stay at home girlfriend :lol:, I do even 'less'. I earn my keep by being my normal vivacious self and that's enough. Now take a deep breath and say it with me, ladies, "That's enooooough." :lol:

IslandMummy said:
You are new to this but trust it does not end with the questions.

Know what I did today? Nothing

Know what I'm doing tomorrow? Nothing
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:lol: :cheers:

@PrissiSippi To answer your question, what do I do all day? I cook one hot meal and pack his lunch. Dassit. :look: And I cook because it's a hobby, not bc he asked. His mom didn't cook at all so everything I make is like manna from heaven. :lol: Otherwise my day is mine. I shop, have lunch with my mom, research my favorite subjects, stay up late when I want.... I just be doing me. :shrug:
 
Miss617 said:
Boundaries @PrissiSippi. This seems to be a recurring problem for you, folks just talking to you any old way. A simple "I don't see how/why that is any of your business" will shut that ish down quick, fast and in a hurry.
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I agree with the boundaries thing. Any dude that shares what he does with his wife in the bedroom is a bum. Why would he feel that this is appropriate to share with YOU? If that was something that he shared with one of his boys, then whatever. But to me it's all kinds of disrespectful for him to talk to you about his sex life with his wife. Not just disrespectful to his wife, but disrespectful to you. I expect males, men, boys to treat me like a woman. Don't curse in front of me, don't be vulgar, hold doors, etc.

I'm a SAHM as well. And I get it. Some people are curious. Some people are jealous. I know how to respond to both.
 
PrissiSippi said:
He claims she doesn't do oral.
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I FEEL YOU! People are just soooo...ugh. This guy is sick to even say that to other people about his wife. And maybe he doesn't wash his package so, well...that's his problem. Total lack of respect and isn't that sexual harassment or near it to be discussing such with you on or off work? Damn! Total lack of respect for a BW.

If I were you, invite him back to social media for that post only and post to all your friends/colleagues something about how wonderful your sabbatical is. These people are a trip...and watch your network/contacts/job security. I don't trust them. Do some of them know something you don't yet? Why are they trying to get you a job? As for him, he's stupid and his wife is a lazy bum who can't cook. His loss. SMH.
 
Honey Bee said:
Well, as a black stay at home girlfriend :lol:, I do even 'less'. I earn my keep by being my normal vivacious self and that's enough. Now take a deep breath and say it with me, ladies, "That's enooooough." :lol:


:lol: :cheers:

@PrissiSippi To answer your question, what do I do all day? I cook one hot meal and pack his lunch. Dassit. :look: And I cook because it's a hobby, not bc he asked. His mom didn't cook at all so everything I make is like manna from heaven. :lol: Otherwise my day is mine. I shop, have lunch with my mom, research my favorite subjects, stay up late when I want.... I just be doing me. :shrug:
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That's enough.

That's enough.

That's enough!

Woooosahhh
 
Miss617 said:
Boundaries @PrissiSippi. This seems to be a recurring problem for you, folks just talking to you any old way. A simple "I don't see how/why that is any of your business" will shut that ish down quick, fast and in a hurry.
Click to expand...
Yeah me and a therapist talked about this because I dont think it's something I can pick hobby myself. I really struggle with boundaries. I'm about to send a text now again to reiterate do not come to my house without calling beforehand or you will be sitting outside. I've said it before by I haven't done it because it seems mean. But baby I'm almost 30. And somebody's mama. It's time.
 
I am making this decision right now. I want to homeschool my children but taking care of a home and family is hard work. It should be valued. I'm not giving all of this to a man without Shipt and Merry Maids. You are an accomplished woman...you deserve it.
 
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