Single Ladies>(Or anyone)

Addy3010

Addy3010

Well-Known Member
Why are you single? Just curious. I have been asked this question a couple of times. Its not that i WANT to stay single but im not necessarily looking either.... I think sometimes i look unapproachable, also when i do get approached and the guy finds out i dont have a man we spend 10min on why i dont have one... Not sure how to make myself look more approachable and more Manless. LOL So why are you single? Is it choice or something else...
 
people tell me that I look unapprochable as well. Am i supposed to walk around with a smile on my face all the time
 
I'm single because I've held myself back from life. I'm a firm believer in that if you do as you should all will be as it would (sounds like Dr. Seus, I know lol)

I should be out there making friends, joining organizations and basically just diversifying my life..once I do that the opportunity will present itself.
 
why am i single....? there are many variables.

i live in a big city but i work in a heavily female dominated environment. the straight men are slim pickins.

i also went to all girls catholic high school... and design school for college. so i never associated with tons of men. my friends growing up have always been mostly girls or gays.

i do have a few guy friends and most of them are in relationships. none of them seem to be able to set me up. they claim that their friends are all married... or some of them are just territorial and don't really want to introduce me to a guy friend.

my female friends who are in relationships know that i am looking and keep their eyes open for a potential set up situation. have yet to benefit from that.

i am trying to also diversify my life. i just signed up to be a volunteer... doing various projects when i have the time. maybe i will meet people that way. but i keep socializing with friends and check out the things that interest me.

i also live work and socialize in a white dominated world. growing up, majority of my friends were non-black. my classmates, non-black. boyfriends, all non-black. colleagues, non-black. i think i've assimilated into this... situation... just fine. but in the back of my mind, i tend to think that the men i come across wouldn't date me because i'm "different" from everyone else... this is only a thought i have in my head. no one has ever told me who i can or cannot date.
 
I hate when folks would ask me that question. I'd say, "I'm single because I'm not married." :D

They'd get mad.


But... my true answer (which was none of their business anyway) varied.

From ages 20-25, I wanted to be. I was enjoying single life and although I was open to having a boyfriend who could potentially be my husband, I wasn't necessarily looking for that.

After that (26-32), I'd say I had a career that made it difficult to meet prospects because of the travel, the hours, the weird location that I live... and then it was difficult to meet marriage-minded men that I clicked with who could also work with my schedule. Also, I don't think I put enough effort into finding the RIGHT man until I turned 30 either.
 
I'm single by choice right now. I have a couple guys have want to get married to me, but they are not good enough. Sorry.

There is one guy I'm interested in, and he's interested in me, as well. I feel like I need to work on myself a little bit before I pursue something with him, if I pursue anything with him. He's also 4 years younger than I am, so I'm not sure if we are on the same page. I would guess no, given the age difference.
 
I'm single by choice. I'm 19 and haven't been single since I was 13, so I decided it was time to really get to learn who I am without a man.

I also feel it's essential I do this now so that when I do start dating again, I have a happy life that I've built for myself and the man is simply included in it... not that it revolves around him because I have nothing else interesting to do/think about.
 
im single because the wrong types of guys are attracted to me.

The ones who look like (and act like) some dude named Tron
The ones who look like some dude named Grady
The ones who are as old as Methuselah (sp)
The ones who are involved.
The ones with kids.
 
I'm single because I haven't met anyone that has reached my standards. As the summer draws near and I begin to place myself in a position to meet other women and men, that may change in the near future.
 
I'm single because I can't attract anyone that's suitable. I tend to attract thugs, baby daddies, people old enough to be my dady, men that don't want to commit and just want to have sex, etc. Most of the "good guys" are taken or not interested in me.

I'm very extremely shy around guys too---almost afraid of them. So I'm sure I probably appear unapproachable to them. At this point of my life I tend to lock myself inside my house which I know doesn't help either..
 
I am not willing to do the work it would take to get into a relationship. I like me and my life, so I am not changing anything to get a relationship.
 
For awhile, because I wanted to be single. There's no drama when you're single!!!

Now, that I'm ready to be married. I will only date my God intended husband.
 
I'm single by choice and because I need to get some things in my life in order first.

I've been lucky enough to meet men who meet my standards and what I'm looking for in a husband but the relationships didn't work out due to my insecurities.

I recently walked away from this white guy who was the NICEST man ever, funny, smart, hard working, kind, romantic and understanding. But I won't be ready for a relationship until my inner self matches my "representative".
 
I always tell everyone that I am single by choice
and that I haven't found the "right" person... which
is true and all. But I also realized that I am (working on it now)
extremely selfish. I like things my way and can be hard to
work with if I do not get things my way...

And because I do have a desire to get married and am
changing my mindset to preparing myself for marriage
while only focusing on marriage-minded guys as well -
I am taking a really good look at myself and surrounding
myself with married couples that have the type of relationship
that I am looking for in my marriage! :)
 
I don't know. I asked my fwb to be with me last year and he basically said... No :cry: i'm over it. But i still don't know why i'm single.
 
melissa-bee said:
I don't know. I asked my fwb to be with me last year and he basically said... No :cry: i'm over it. But i still don't know why i'm single.
Click to expand...

You knew better, was it THAT good. The fwb never works out as a relationship, someone always ends up catching feelings---then being let down. I was in a similar situation last year, and i was the one that was saying naaah ahhh. Anyway I feel like your least expect it that is when it will happen. In my experience when you want something so bad or too much you never get it. Butt i must say though im not searching sometimes the nights are cold and lonely. Lol
 
I'm single because my boyfriend broke up with me on Monday :look:

Before that i was single because its soo much easier, and cheap to be single, men i meet are after one thing or, married/homeless/toothless/jobless/ugly.

i attract everything, my face is too approachable.
 
Single because I wanna be.

To answer you question OP, I'm in the age group where its too young to be serious about getting married, but old enough to not play around (21-25). I'm studying for a professional program, and I don't have the time nor energy to go down the road of tending to a boyfriend, going out, etc. I don't want the distraction. So for now, occasional dates and phone convos will suffice.
 
I am 25 with a whole bunch of responsibilities that come before me looking for a man. I do date. I actually just got out of a relationship last month but that doesn't mean my life is going to surround singleness.

Before that relationship I was single for 2 years because, again I have other things to worry about. I am the chick that dudes want to girlfriend for some reason(even when I say no from jump) so I have to actually be in the mindset to be in a relationship.
 
I'm single because I'm still working on my issues since my long time ex and I broke up almost a year ago. It doesn't help that I'm falling for him...again...that's a whole other long story. In the meantime, I've been approached by unsuitable men (i.e. too old, unambitious, looking for a sugar momma, too many kids by too many women...)
 
I don't want to be single.
I could think of a couple of things but really, I always attract the wrong type of guy.
Old/toothless/crazy/hood/stupid/garden tool(hoe) you name it.......
Im just tired. I never really dated like that or had long term realationships but right now im just working on myself and trying to get out more and god see if that works.
I have been told i don't smile.....ummm yeah i live in nyc that's not happening minute time you smile at somebody they think they have a chance. Could it be i smiled cause im practicing for when I take the invislign out my mouth :grin:? I dunno....
Then again nyc are funny too could it be it's just them and not me???hmmmm......
 
I don't know. I'm very lonely. I get told from friends, family and friends of the family that I'm pretty and funny but I still never get approached or looked at except by thugs, homeless men, old men, guys I'd never date. The guys I'm attracted to just aren't attracted to me I guess. It just kills my self-esteem and confidence. I'm working on myself, growing my hair back out to BSL, losing weight, dressing up more, but still, I'm alone. I just want someone to love who can love me too. :sad:
 
Lylddlebit said:
I beg to differ...some ppl do get married in the moment without the work of making it last forever (despite whose fault that may be). Many people will and do let circumstance impact their wedding vows and in time choose divorce.
Click to expand...
I mean, getting married for a purpose of divorcing. That is what I mean by no one gets married planning to get divorced. Unless it is a citizenship issue. LOL
 
I am single because I was in a long term relationship that ended 3 years ago and needed some time to re-evaluate my life. I am looking for my life's partner and will not settle for less. Now, I admit it is going to take some work on my part and I have to actively be open to meeting someone.
 
BGT said:
I don't know. I'm very lonely. I get told from friends, family and friends of the family that I'm pretty and funny but I still never get approached or looked at except by thugs, homeless men, old men, guys I'd never date. The guys I'm attracted to just aren't attracted to me I guess. It just kills my self-esteem and confidence. I'm working on myself, growing my hair back out to BSL, losing weight, dressing up more, but still, I'm alone. I just want someone to love who can love me too. :sad:
Click to expand...

The story of my single life :sad:
 
1. I come off unapproachable
2. The guys who do holler are not men of quality
3. Im shy, an awful flirt, self conscious, zero eye contact
4. I attract the wrong men
 
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