Single Christian Women's Support - THE REMIX!

bellatiamarie said:
This. I'm not feeling it. And this has been in the making since August/September of last year. Too little, too late.

What should I do because I want this over with before it starts. I will still have to see him at church or should I find another church :lol:
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I'm sorry but I'm going to challenge you. You say that you want to get married and you are now in contact with a Christian man that your grandmother helped to orchestrate. You don't feel a spark and basically want it over before it starts. To me your actions are not consistent with your stated goals. I think women who are serious about marriage wil give a potentially marriageable guy at least a chance. You are walking away before you even get to know his character. From the fall to now is not a long time for a guy to work up his courage to approach you. He could have been praying about approaching you and waiting for a confirmation from God. My sense is that there may be some fear holding you back or you're not really ready to be dating. Sometimes the momentum from dating even the wrong guy will move you towards the right guy. Anyway, just my 0.02.
 
I've been reading very good books and listening to webinars about men and male behavior. I think a lot of times we judge them through a female viewpoint and they don't do things or even think about things the same way. They communicate very differently and I find myself getting frustrated myself with them. Then I take a step back and remember "he probably has a good reason for that." Just something to keep in mind.
 
Belle Du Jour said:
I'm sorry but I'm going to challenge you. You say that you want to get married and you are now in contact with a Christian man that your grandmother helped to orchestrate. You don't feel a spark and basically want it over before it starts. To me your actions are not consistent with your stated goals. I think women who are serious about marriage wil give a potentially marriageable guy at least a chance. You are walking away before you even get to know his character. From the fall to now is not a long time for a guy to work up his courage to approach you. He could have been praying about approaching you and waiting for a confirmation from God. My sense is that there may be some fear holding you back or you're not really ready to be dating. Sometimes the momentum from dating even the wrong guy will move you towards the right guy. Anyway, just my 0.02.
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@Belle Du Jour you are absolutely 100% right. And let me tell you why I wasn't interested initially... he has an 11 year old son and is a divorcee. That completely turned me off. But truth be told, I'm 32... most men in my age range have been married and have children.

And you hit the nail on the head. I actually went out with him last night and had an AMAZING night :lol: I really like him :look: but you are so right... I need to get myself together. He said that he has been watching me for a year and has asked a few people about me :look:. He seems to be a really good guy. I know what I asked God for. I'm a little nervous though. But I'm glad that I didn't completely cut him off. So we will see. But you really nailed it @Belle Du Jour. Thanks for your advice.
 



Jason Evert

Link to buy book
http://amzn.to/2mFkdeP

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"It is a lesson we all need—to let alone the things that do not concern us. He has other ways for others to follow Him; all do not go by the same path. It is for each of us to learn the path by which He requires us to follow Him, and to follow Him in that path."
— St. Katharine Drexel
 
Lucia said:
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Beautiful and powerful words. I liked what he said about adorning ourselves for the wedding day and forgetting about the marriage. Also, about wanting a ready made marriage instead of a blank canvas that God can paint.
 
Lucia said:
No I haven't, I'm wondering if I should pay for a program, cause relationships aren't a one technique works for all, when there are tons of books and articles out there. Idk I'm thinking about it.
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I agree with you. There's already SO MUCH out there.
 
Just an update. Me and the guitarist were scheduled to go out on Saturday. We planned to go out on Saturday way back on Wednesday. He called Saturday afternoon and said that he would be going to hang out with one of his friends that was visiting from out of town. I suggested that since his friend was in town that we should just reschedule for another day (I was tired yesterday any way and didn't feel like putting on clothes and getting made up and all the hoopla that goes into that much less leave my house :look:). He says and I quote "I am a man of my word" so we are going out tonight. Fine. He says I'm thinking 730 or 8. So I say let's shoot for 8. So I'm ready at like 8:05. I'm waiting. Waiting. Waiting. So at 8:15 I decide to leave my house to go get something from the store before it closed since I wasn't sure what time we'd be out til. 8:30 rolls around. 8:45. 9:00 still haven't heard anything from him. At 9:07 I get a text message "sorry, sorry I'm on my way." At this point I was half way to my friends house as I'd figured I had been stood up and there was no use in wasting my pretty :lol: so I text back "I'm not at home." And he responds "ok sorry."

Bruh.

I can't do it. I can't. These men claim they're ready but clearly they aren't. I don't have the time. I don't have time to be waiting a whole hour plus to hear from you. Nope. I'm too old and time is going by too fast. So.... that's it for that. Back to the drawing board!
 
bellatiamarie said:
Just an update. Me and the guitarist were scheduled to go out on Saturday. We planned to go out on Saturday way back on Wednesday. He called Saturday afternoon and said that he would be going to hang out with one of his friends that was visiting from out of town. I suggested that since his friend was in town that we should just reschedule for another day (I was tired yesterday any way and didn't feel like putting on clothes and getting made up and all the hoopla that goes into that much less leave my house :look:). He says and I quote "I am a man of my word" so we are going out tonight. Fine. He says I'm thinking 730 or 8. So I say let's shoot for 8. So I'm ready at like 8:05. I'm waiting. Waiting. Waiting. So at 8:15 I decide to leave my house to go get something from the store before it closed since I wasn't sure what time we'd be out til. 8:30 rolls around. 8:45. 9:00 still haven't heard anything from him. At 9:07 I get a text message "sorry, sorry I'm on my way." At this point I was half way to my friends house as I'd figured I had been stood up and there was no use in wasting my pretty :lol: so I text back "I'm not at home." And he responds "ok sorry."

Bruh.

I can't do it. I can't. These men claim they're ready but clearly they aren't. I don't have the time. I don't have time to be waiting a whole hour plus to hear from you. Nope. I'm too old and time is going by too fast. So.... that's it for that. Back to the drawing board!
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I understand nobody has time for games especially with someone new. IMO I think it's a really bad impression when you're just starting to get to know someone, like when you meet someone new you should be on your best behavior.
I'm just throwing this out there, do you think maybe he just got caught up with his old friends and time just went by?

Maybe he wasn't trying to stand you up. I would give him a couple days of no communication on your part even if he calls, during that time pray on it. After that at least hear what he has to say about it then decide. I just wouldn't make a hasty decision.

I'm sure your bolony radar will give you a reading if he's playing games. I'm not advocating making any excuses for him or him thinking that he can treat you any kind of way. Listen to what he says, what he doesn't say, and how he says it especially his body language IMO words, intention and body language have to match. Hth
 
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Lucia said:

I understand nobody has time for games especially with someone new. IMO I think it's a really bad impression when you just starting to get to know someone, like when you meet someone new you should be on your best behavior.
I'm just throwing this out there, do you think maybe he just got caught up with his old friends and time just went by?

Maybe he wasn't trying to stand you up. I would give him a couple days of no communication on your part even if he calls, during that time pray on it. After that at least hear what he has to say about it then decide. I just wouldn't make a hasty decision.

I'm sure your bolony radar will give you a reading if he's playing games. I'm not advocating making any excuses for him or him thinking that he can treat you any kind of way. Listen to what he says what he doesn't say, and how he says it especially his body language IMO words, intention and body language have to match. Hth
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I hear what you're saying. I just don't even want to be bothered. Calling to let me know you'll be late is a simple consideration. An hour plus? I hear you @Lucia but I think I'm going to leave this one in the wind. It hasn't even been 2 weeks and you're already playing with my time. Not cool.
 
bellatiamarie said:
Just an update. Me and the guitarist were scheduled to go out on Saturday. We planned to go out on Saturday way back on Wednesday. He called Saturday afternoon and said that he would be going to hang out with one of his friends that was visiting from out of town. I suggested that since his friend was in town that we should just reschedule for another day (I was tired yesterday any way and didn't feel like putting on clothes and getting made up and all the hoopla that goes into that much less leave my house :look:). He says and I quote "I am a man of my word" so we are going out tonight. Fine. He says I'm thinking 730 or 8. So I say let's shoot for 8. So I'm ready at like 8:05. I'm waiting. Waiting. Waiting. So at 8:15 I decide to leave my house to go get something from the store before it closed since I wasn't sure what time we'd be out til. 8:30 rolls around. 8:45. 9:00 still haven't heard anything from him. At 9:07 I get a text message "sorry, sorry I'm on my way." At this point I was half way to my friends house as I'd figured I had been stood up and there was no use in wasting my pretty :lol: so I text back "I'm not at home." And he responds "ok sorry."

Bruh.

I can't do it. I can't. These men claim they're ready but clearly they aren't. I don't have the time. I don't have time to be waiting a whole hour plus to hear from you. Nope. I'm too old and time is going by too fast. So.... that's it for that. Back to the drawing board!
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That would probably be a next for me...dang he couldn't keep it together for at least the first 3 dates? He should be on his bestest behavior :nono: And "ok sorry" without any explanation? Nope.
 
Belle Du Jour said:
That would probably be a next for me...dang he couldn't keep it together for at least the first 3 dates? He should be on his bestest behavior :nono: And "ok sorry" without any explanation? Nope.
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That's what I'm saying! No explanation. And this is the kicker.... yesterday he sent me videos of some kids playing the bass guitar because I'd previously mentioned that I love the bass guitar. So, you're just going to pretend you didn't have me waiting for you for over an hour? I didn't even respond. I'm good. It hasn't even been 2 weeks!
 
bellatiamarie said:
I hear what you're saying. I just don't even want to be bothered. Calling to let me know you'll be late is a simple consideration. An hour plus? I hear you @Lucia but I think I'm going to leave this one in the wind. It hasn't even been 2 weeks and you're already playing with my time. Not cool.
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Yeah not even a month yet, I hear you. I was just giving him the benefit of the doubt but he just eliminated himself, basically. You're first impression of him was right! He had no explanation for it, definitely a red flag!
 
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Thank you @Lucia for connecting me to this thread. I'm 1/2 way through reading all the comments as well as Psalm as you suggested. I haven't viewed any of the videos because I don't want to have to many opinions in my mind. I have too much going on in there right now. I do appreciate all the ladies that shared their thoughts in here.

This last relationship has taken a toll on me. I'm trying to get clear on some things...and focus more on myself. Although I thought I was focusing on myself maybe i was too wrapped up in him.

He's away now...and we weren't in a good place so i ended things before he left. Anyway...I'm rambling lol...I will continue reading.
 
Belle Du Jour said:
Have you or anyone else done her boot camp? http://www.ashleyempowers.com/new-products/man-ifesting-your-godly-man-bootcamp
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Yes, and it is worth it to me. I haven't finished it because I've been busy, but I personally feel like her methods are practical and realistic. Instead of selling a formula, she's giving actionable steps to becoming a more confident woman who attracts the quality of man she desires. What I like about Ashley is that she really focuses on empowering women. When you're confident in who God created you to be, you just walk through life differently.
 
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