Single Black Women Living Abroad Reveal What It's Like To Date In The Uae, Europe And More

Iammoney

Iammoney

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3 Single Black Women Living Abroad Reveal What It's Like to Date in the UAE, Europe and More

By Charreah K. Jackson and Good Ereseh
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Black women living abroad on their experiences.



NICOLE BREWER

iluv2globetrot.com cofounder, 35

Location: Nizwa, Oman, 3 years

Hometown: Detroit

"I told myself that I wouldn't date in the Middle East, and yet not even a week after moving to Nizwa I met a man who became my boyfriend. He was African-Omani and our first encounter was at a local hotel bar with friends. It was a whirlwind romance and we had a great time while it lasted. In Omani culture it is looked down upon to date a nonlocal, so he wanted to hide our relationship and we parted ways. It can be challenging dating here, since families usually set up potential mates for their children. As an expat,




DONIELLE JOHNSON

Scientist, 37



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Location: Amsterdam, 2.5 years

Hometown: New Orleans

"Amsterdam is a city of passion and hookups. You meet someone, go out a few times, cohabit without marriage and then have a baby. Folks move really fast. There appears to be little courtship and romance. I have met guys attending events, through friends and just out exploring the city. I have definitely found it hard to date as a single Black professional woman in Amsterdam, but it is no different from the struggle I faced in the U.S., with the exception that a lot of guys here are smokers."



TANAI BENARD

Educator and cofounder of Wandering Moms, 33

Location: Abu Dhabi, 3 years

Hometown: Beaumont, TX

"I moved to the United Arab Emirates three years ago with my three kids. Dating as a divorcée and single parent can be complicated whatever your geographic location, and doing it abroad is difficult. The expatriate community is a revolving door, which makes it more challenging to have a stable relationship. How long is your employment contract? becomes a must-ask question by date number two. On the upside, you have access to a new breed of well-traveled and educated men. I was once approached by a Muslim man in the parking lot of the grocery store. He gave me his number and assured me he didn't have a wife, something I had to ask since polygamy is legal here. By our second date I had become a pro at navigating Google Translate as he spoke little English and my Arabic is nonexistent. We also communicated with images. I asked if he owned any camels and he just stared until I produced a picture. He then yelled out "Jamal" and nodded yes. We got looks from native women who attempted to figure out why an African-American expatriate sat with a local guy in traditional garb. He kept saying, "You very nice. Your skin beautiful" while tapping his wrist to show he was complimenting my skin color. All I could do was smile and throw shukrans, "thank you" in Arabic. Before the end of date two, he went in for the kill with "I take you wife" in a serious tone. In shock, I lost all verbal filter and said, "I like bacon and I love Jesus." He continued to attempt to tell me my religion was no issue but he never addressed the bacon. We haven't spoken since. I've taken a break from dating but know that one day my guy will find me. For those seeking love in the UAE, we have a very vibrant social life."
 
In the UAE it seems almost like you can be jailed for talking about Christianity. I know you can lose your contract if you are a teacher and talk about your non Muslim faith to students. So she probably thought it was a good way to get guy off the make you wife plann

sharifeh said:
That last story was weird as hell :lol: but I guess kind of cute lmao at liking bacon and loving Jesus - uhhh Muslims love Jesus too :lol:
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sharifeh said:
Kinda ... How else could you afford it? You have to support them all. No 50/50 there. Being poor with multiple wives is like beyond being a kang ...
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Unfortunately I have witnessed too many of these Kang led polygynous "marriages" so while not Islamically, sound these American Muslim brothers always find a way to justify this foolishness of having multiples wives with little to no money. I have a friend that was interested in a plural marriage and these American brothers weren't interested in her because they were looking for a sister on benefits (section 8 housing and food stamps). She worked, which meant any of them would have to provide for her :look:[
 
naheda72 said:
Unfortunately I have witnessed too many of these Kang led polygynous "marriages" so while not Islamically, sound these American Muslim brothers always find a way to justify this foolishness of having multiples wives with little to no money. I have a friend that was interested in a plural marriage and these American brothers weren't interested in her because they were looking for a sister on benefits (section 8 housing and food stamps). She worked, which meant any of them would have to provide for her :look:[
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omg smh really?- that is so sad especially since if you're going to do something like polygamy that's technically allowed in the religion- the religion clearly mandates that the husband has to support the wife even if the wife is Paris Hilton herself (ie. she's wealthy). SMH at them allowing themselves the polygamy but ignoring the other basic rules.

on the arab side of my family i have some female family members that are co-wives- :(
While I do think that's unfortunate - at least the husbands are filthy stinkin' rich and they don't lift a finger and they have all the jewelry and all the luxury. I mean that doesn't make it ok to me, but at least they can afford to support 2 women.
 
naheda72 said:
Unfortunately I have witnessed too many of these Kang led polygynous "marriages" so while not Islamically, sound these American Muslim brothers always find a way to justify this foolishness of having multiples wives with little to no money. I have a friend that was interested in a plural marriage and these American brothers weren't interested in her because they were looking for a sister on benefits (section 8 housing and food stamps). She worked, which meant any of them would have to provide for her :look:[
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aint no one thinking about the american ones..:look:
 
Subscribe said:
Do you have to be wealthy to have more than one wife?
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Not wealthy per say, but both wives need to be taken care of.

My co-worker was telling me about a situation like this. Wife 1 and Wife 2 lived in different houses. The man was supposed to provide for both. Wife 2 even became Muslim for the husband, but then he didn't take care of her, even after she had a kid. :/ They lived in so-so areas, but it was like Wife 2 was an afterthought and my co-worker was saying it shouldn't have been that way. (This is all in England by the way.)
 
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