Should you Change the Texture of Your Hair to Meet Your Husband?

[SouthernGirl]

I'm sorry, but Don King does not equal avant-garde. Don King equals a darn fool!

 

[SouthernGirl]

Can I just go a little deeper !!

Society in general have a standard mode as what is considered Attractive and beautifal. Look at the femailes at the top there game whether it be music or movies.
Beyonce, J Lo, Noami Campell, Aaliyah, etc, etc Beside thier bodies/Voices/talent what do they have in common. Great and the key word VERSATILE hair.(Whether its theirs or not) There are a few excepts to the rule Halle Berry and Jada Pinket but there are so out numbered.

I am not sayin that natural sisters dont get there credit Laryn Hill, Jill Scott etc etc .I dont mean to offend but these sisters are naturals I TALKING NAPPY 4 Type Hair.
Not the Alicia Keys, and Kelis natural.
Its such a shame that these naturals or shorter hair sisters dont get the L'Oreal or Pepsi contracts. Why Not.

Personally I am more likely to admire a natural, who has embraced her hairs natural state. But my hair is relaxed simply because I like it straight and its not relaxed for any other reason.

I live in the England, Where to see a women of color (not mixed Race) with long relaxed hair is like wearing a crown. people will go up to you and comment (Ask if its yours LOL) and wonder why its so long.
Its such a shame that we have not been eduacted to look after our hair for so long.

However you want to wear your lets just keep embracing each other and help each other to get there.!!!!!

Good luck

Kizzylonghair,

Thank you for your perspective. You make an excellent point about the global aspects of this matter. I've never been to London, but it is interesting to see how black women are viewed in other countries and even cultures. The looks, stares, etc.

I agree that we should just embrace each other, while being aware of what we all have to deal with- regardless of whether our hair is straight or natural
SG

 

[ccd]

This is an interesting thread with alot of great, inciteful posts ( among them Mahalilee, Tracy, Daughter and MK....)

With that said, no one knows what someone else goes through unless you walk in their shoes....

I think your friends decision is hers to make, it may not be to your liking or your perspective on relaxed hair has changed for you ( you are currently transitioning right) but your friend may need a change to see what it is like....

maybe she doesn't realize that her hair may or may not bring her soul mate into her life (while hair is not the reason you meet the right person, some people gain more confidence when they make a change like, going from a brunnette to a blond, losing weight, getting braces, whitening your teeth )

This is her personal decision based on her experiences.....I can understand how she thinks a corporate man wants a certain look...that is because at the end of the day, this man is trying to work and succeed in a predominently white, male dominanted environment that has its ideals and standards that we all know about.....he may think life would be "easier" with a certain image....it sucks, I'm not saying it is right or fair but its true....they are trying to survive, actually better than that they are trying to succeed, be the top of their game. This society, world images (and most definitely corporate America!!!) show that a certain type of women and man, image, ideal is acceptable, appropriate and appealing.


This is not an issue about hair necessarily its about a mindset, its really about the type of men she has meet and their philosophies, ideals whatever...she is not satisfied with the artsy, boho types because she wants something different....its her perogative and maybe, just maybe

(let say ) she makes the change and realizes the men she is attracting as a relaxed head are not the types she wants either then she will be able to go back to natural with no problems because you will be there to give her tips on transistioning.... but more importantly she will realized its more than hair appeal that makes for or brings about a soul mate....if someone is into you only for you hair, weight, superficial stuff than that will last for so long...she has to realize and see that for herself

Let your friend have her experiences....as long as she is not harming herself, I think you should support her while giving her your perspective on things.....I think people learn best through their own experience.

Peace

 

[dreemssold]

This is her personal decision based on her experiences.....I can understand how she thinks a corporate man wants a certain look...that is because at the end of the day, this man is trying to work and succeed in a predominently white, male dominanted environment that has its ideals and standards that we all know about.....he may think life would be "easier" with a certain image....it sucks, I'm not saying it is right or fair but its true....they are trying to survive, actually better than that they are trying to succeed, be the top of their game. This society, world images (and most definitely corporate America!!!) show that a certain type of women and man, image, ideal is acceptable, appropriate and appealing.


This is not an issue about hair necessarily its about a mindset, its really about the type of men she has meet and their philosophies, ideals whatever...she is not satisfied with the artsy, boho types because she wants something different....its her perogative and maybe, just maybe

(let say ) she makes the change and realizes the men she is attracting as a relaxed head are not the types she wants either then she will be able to go back to natural with no problems because you will be there to give her tips on transistioning.... but more importantly she will realized its more than hair appeal that makes for a soul mate....if someone is into you only for you hair, weight, superficial stuff than that will last for so long...she has to realize and she that for herself

Let your friend have her experiences....as long as she is not harming herself, I think you should support her while giving her your perspective on things.....I think people learn best through their own experience.

Peace

I completely and totally agree with this. It is easier to say, oh no, she should not change her hair, she should stay the same, never having been natural OR having been natural and still having attracted the kind of men you want to attract; however, I think what your friend is saying is valid SG, if only because they are her experiences. Perhaps what has been true for her has not been true for some of the naturals here, but what matters is that it has been true for her. Ideally, I would say she should keep her hair natural, but realistically, I believe she may find what she wants (or thinks she wants) by changing her hair. I say think she wants, because I agree that if and when she does attract this man who wants her more because of her straightened tresses, she may realize he is not at all what she wanted. I would say to voice your opinions about what she has likely already considered--that changing what you are or how you look to attract someone will probably bring you someone who is not truly the one for you and that once you "have" this person, you may forever be locked into a role that isn't you--but not to be overly aggressive. Be supportive no matter what she decides...I am sure she will not get that from most that she tells this to, and she will likely need it.

O/T: SG, I was just about to send you a PM, because I saw your Surge album and O M G ! Your hair is incredible!!! Way to grow, dearie !!

 

[sassygirl125]

I4. If a man won't look your way because of your hair texture HE AIN'T FOR YOU!

I know that's right!

 

[sassygirl125]

Hi Sassygirl! Please allow a London systah to translate... *whispering* bollocks = testicles

I knew it was bad, but not that bad! The wrestler William Regal of Blackpool, England says this all the time. I may have you translate some more of his terms.

 

[SouthernGirl]

This is an interesting thread with alot of great, inciteful posts ( among them Mahalilee, Tracy, Daughter and MK....)

With that said, no one knows what someone else goes through unless you walk in their shoes....

I think your friends decision is hers to make, it may not be to your liking or your perspective on relaxed hair has changed for you ( you are currently transitioning right) but your friend may need a change to see what it is like....

maybe she doesn't realize that her hair may or may not bring her soul mate into her life (while hair is not the reason you meet the right person, some people gain more confidence when they make a change like, going from a brunnette to a blond, losing weight, getting braces, whitening your teeth )

This is her personal decision based on her experiences.....I can understand how she thinks a corporate man wants a certain look...that is because at the end of the day, this man is trying to work and succeed in a predominently white, male dominanted environment that has its ideals and standards that we all know about.....he may think life would be "easier" with a certain image....it sucks, I'm not saying it is right or fair but its true....they are trying to survive, actually better than that they are trying to succeed, be the top of their game. This society, world images (and most definitely corporate America!!!) show that a certain type of women and man, image, ideal is acceptable, appropriate and appealing.


This is not an issue about hair necessarily its about a mindset, its really about the type of men she has meet and their philosophies, ideals whatever...she is not satisfied with the artsy, boho types because she wants something different....its her perogative and maybe, just maybe

(let say ) she makes the change and realizes the men she is attracting as a relaxed head are not the types she wants either then she will be able to go back to natural with no problems because you will be there to give her tips on transistioning.... but more importantly she will realized its more than hair appeal that makes for or brings about a soul mate....if someone is into you only for you hair, weight, superficial stuff than that will last for so long...she has to realize and see that for herself

Let your friend have her experiences....as long as she is not harming herself, I think you should support her while giving her your perspective on things.....I think people learn best through their own experience.

Peace

Thanks for your input CCD. I totally agree, that this is my friend's decision to make and I will support her no matter what. I mentioned in an earlier thread that if she decides to do this, I've already told her that I would be happy to do the relaxer for her, at no charge! One of her concerns (in addition to not really wanting to go through with it) was the cost. She's had a consultation and does not want to pay $100 a pop for the service and upkeep.

I am not saying I don't agree with her becauses I am trying to inject my own personal views to sway her to my "preference." I've been quite happy relaxing my hair for about 12 years now, simply because I never knew I had so many options with natural hair. It was coming to this board and looking at photos and regimens of many who are a part of this forum, that have helped me to see that I don't have to continue to relax if I don't want to, and I can still have options

I have not made a decision to transition. What I've decided to do is try to stretch my relaxer out until June. If I can make it without breakage and I can still manage my hair, I'll keep going. If I find that I prefer relaxing because it's easier or whatever the case may be, I'll do that. I actually love my hair straight, so I'd press it even if I grew out the relaxer. If I find that pressing is more damaging than relaxing twice a year, I'll just relax twice a year. For my hair, less is best and that would be a significant improvement over relaxing 4-6 times a year as I have been doing up to this point.

What I have learned from this board is that I can be versatile, and I want to utilize the choices that I am afforded. Having said that, I'm simply trying to make the knowledge I've gained from reading books, this forum, and conversations with others, available to people I love that don't have the time nor the desire to do their own research. In the end, I will always support their decisions.

I also understand the Corporate environment because I've been in it for 11 years. I can understand her feelings about men in Corporate America, because I interact with them and I've heard some of their views. I also have a very strong faith, and I just believe that when it comes to meeting the right guy, he will come to you just as you are. If he doesn't appreciate your look, then he probably won't approach you. That's okay, because that only moves him out of the way so the right guy can get to you!

Okay, my last point on this... If in fact my friend wants or needs to experiment, great! If she finds that she likes being relaxed, great! If she decides to go natural again, great! I want what's best for her. If she goes through this process and gets the man of her dreams, no one will be happier than me. If she doesn't, I'll still be there for her

SG

 

[SouthernGirl]

Ideally, I would say she should keep her hair natural, but realistically, I believe she may find what she wants (or thinks she wants) by changing her hair. I say think she wants, because I agree that if and when she does attract this man who wants her more because of her straightened tresses, she may realize he is not at all what she wanted. I would say to voice your opinions about what she has likely already considered--that changing what you are or how you look to attract someone will probably bring you someone who is not truly the one for you and that once you "have" this person, you may forever be locked into a role that isn't you--but not to be overly aggressive. Be supportive no matter what she decides...I am sure she will not get that from most that she tells this to, and she will likely need it.

O/T: SG, I was just about to send you a PM, because I saw your Surge album and O M G ! Your hair is incredible!!! Way to grow, dearie !!

Thanks Dreems,

I know she's speaking from her experiences and I can't relate to being natural now because I'm not, so I would never be insensitive towards her. There are so many what if's, but the important thing is that I continue to support her decision either way

As for the Surge challenge, thanks to you, that last picture of the new growth in my nape area is pretty much all from Surge! Also, I have cut down relaxing this area to about 2x per year and only for about 5 mins. and it has grown back! This was always a problem area for me and my hair would NEVER grow here for years. I've come to a non-scientific conclusion that not relaxing it has helped it to grow. As a result, I'm going to shoot for relaxing 2x per year my whole head, and maybe even giving it up altogether and pressing or flat ironing it since I don't wear my hair down that much anyway.

If I do that, I'll have to stop Surging when the challenge ends at the end of this month to minimize reversion

SG

 

[Belle Du Jour]

Men fall in love with their eyes. Women fall in love with their ears. That being said, a woman is more likely to "settle" if she finds a man that she is not initially attracted to, but has other qualities that please her.

As far as relaxing versus natural, I honestly think that it varies. You can't say that ALL corporate black men want relaxed women, just like you can't say that ALL guys with dreds/cornrows want a bohemian or natural hair. More than anything, I think black men are obsessed with long hair.

Your friend should wear her hair how SHE wants, in a manner that will exude confidence and pride. Confidence trumps looks, IMO. Before your friend does anything permanent, maybe you could suggest that she wears a straight wig or weave to see how SHE feels, above anything else.

 

[ms_kenesha]

Hey SG,

I would also suggest she join this board for tips on whatever she decides to do with her hair.

I also agree with Tracy, men like LONG hair, so maybe she should grow it out from her TWA, because although her hair would be relaxed it wouldn't be long and men are FOOLS for long hair!

I'd also like to add that although men are judgemental creatures who are taken in by outward appearances, they have their standards *no matter how cockamamey they may be* but so does your friend because she is nixing boho for corporate and if you're going to eliminate a class of men for some reason, she must know that just like boho is not her cup of tea, for corporate she may not be his. This is what happens when people focus on the outside instead of inside.

And to all, everyone has voiced their opinion so nicely w/o arguing or bickering or making this a natural vs relaxed battle; I'm so proud of us!

 

[Tracy]

she is nixing boho for corporate and if you're going to eliminate a class of men for some reason, she must now that just like boho is not her cup of tea, for corporate she may not be his. This is what happens when people focus on the outside instead of inside.[/color][/font]

VERY good point....

SG - just want to let your know that for MY part, I don't question you wanting to help your friend and ensure that she percieve herself in the most favorable way possible. I think that makes you a GOOD friend. I just think that if this IS your friend, I'm sure one of the things that makes you seek her company has got to be, in part, good judgment. And if we separate her inclination from something having to do with "being true to who she is" and see it instead as the desire to make a change being who she is RIGHT NOW, I think her desire wouldn't feel as alarming to you, her friend. Because if it were about self exploration as opposed to self suppression, I don't think you'd mind as much.

Anyway - good luck to her, and I know you'll come up with the right advice to lend.

 

[amy1234]

I don't think that she should do it for a man . She should do it because she wants to do it for her self if it will make her happy.
take myself as an example : I don't regret texurizing, and when I met my bf I was natural and always sported a twist out or a press'n curl . I knew I wanted to go back when I realized that I usually wear it straight anyways. hmmm I wonder , does your friend ever wear her hair straight via pressn'curl?? if not then maybe it is not for her because she has to feel good about her new look otherwise she might regret it.HTH

 

[albane]

This is a very controversial topic, to say the less.
In this field I rather conservative judgment. My husband fall in love with me because of a complex set of features, one between others being my long hair. Why should I deny him the right to love my long hair ?
Sorry to repeat the story for some of you ......

At the time I met him, I had made a stop to the weekly rollersetting that I had practiced under mother (a hairdresser) influence since I was 6. Instead I was straightening the hair with blowdry. It is my husband who asked me - after I had made a rollerset for a party - to go to that style on a regular basis. Rollersetting again is a constraint for me, but I do not think that I should not make the effort for him and he certainly give me rewards for this effort. Some weeks ago, he asked me if would be Ok to grow hair further (to waist). This means for me an even more painful process as for the rollersetting (huge set and long drying). We discussed it and he withdraw his request, when I described him the nightmare under the hood. But in turn, I have decided to go that way to please him. If I can find some technical solutions to ease the process, I will use them obviously, but if this not the case I will send the necessary hours under the hood because I love him. It may sound ridiculous, but it is the truth....

 

[Daughter]

I knew it was bad, but not that bad! The wrestler William Regal of Blackpool, England says this all the time. I may have you translate some more of his terms.

Hey no problem, I'll give it a go

 

[honeylove316]

Hmm. This is interesting. I don't think changing your appearance for someone else is a good idea, seems disingenuous and slightly manipulative. It's one thing to want to change because you feel like updating your look etc.. But for someone else? No. Especially for someone you haven't even met yet? No. If you feel like someone doesn't want you because of the length, quality, texture of your hair, who's to say what else they may want you to change- your nose, eye color, lighten your skin? That's giving too much power to another person.

If a man asked your friend to do what she's considering, she'd probably tell him where to go and how to get there.

I think water seeks its own level. If she's willing to change to "catch" a corporate type, who's to say that man isn't going to tell her what she wants to hear to get her? Even if it's not true? Like I said, interesting.
As her friend, I'd tell her what I think and let it be. Pray for her and let it go. This sounds more like a self esteem issue than a hair issue.

 

[Babygurl]

Change your hair texture to snag a husband?! Bollocks!

I'm not sure what that means, but it seems to fit...

I spit my water all over my screen when I read that....too funny!

 

[albane]

Blaxalrose
No there will be no problem as I explained ....knowing what type of haircare it means, he cancelled his request, but finally I think I will do it as I know that he will love it.

 

[CatSuga]

Well geez louise, if she did attract this "ideal" marrying man it sounds like he'd dump her the minute she's due for a touch up!

Or for a woman that's naturally 1A.

 

[CocoaButterflyy]

wow this is quite unfortunate... I guess I've been quite lucky/blessed to meet guys that fit the "corporate/successful/doctor/lawyer" type that like me and my natural hair. I actually got my hair straightened and had a guy say he preferred the natural look. But it is your friends hair and her choice, if she thinks that will make her more "marketable" let her do so, but I guess she doesnt think in the same pattern that I do where if he can't accept me with my nappy hair why do I want him

 

[SouthernGirl]

Thanks everyone for keeping the conversation going

I had to step away for a bit to watch the games yesterday, and I've been in meetings all day.

I have to read thru all the posts, but I wanted to thank all of you for your candor.

Tracy, you always give great advice and I appreciate that. You are SO right about self-exploration vs self-suppression. You said it!! My attitude would be totally different if she just wanted to experiment because she wants a new look for the new year, or whatever her desires may be. I've experimented all my life and I think that's great! It's the only way you really get to know what you like and don't like.

The only thing that made me a bit worried, is that she told me that she loves her natural hair and wants to keep it, but that she feels she has to relax it to find a husband.

So, I will continue to support her no matter what she decides to do

Oh, and Ms Kenesha,

I am trying my best to get get her to join this board, but she says she doesn't have the time

 

[SouthernGirl]

I don't think that she should do it for a man . She should do it because she wants to do it for her self if it will make her happy.
take myself as an example : I don't regret texurizing, and when I met my bf I was natural and always sported a twist out or a press'n curl . I knew I wanted to go back when I realized that I usually wear it straight anyways. hmmm I wonder , does your friend ever wear her hair straight via pressn'curl?? if not then maybe it is not for her because she has to feel good about her new look otherwise she might regret it.HTH

Hey Curlybun,

I think I may have suggested to her that night that she grow it long and then just press it out. I'm not sure- the night is becoming more and more foggy as the days go by

If I didn't suggest that, I will offer it up. Someone else mentioned that and I thought it was a great idea. Thanks so much!!! SG

 

[SouthernGirl]

This is a very controversial topic, to say the less.
In this field I rather conservative judgment. My husband fall in love with me because of a complex set of features, one between others being my long hair. Why should I deny him the right to love my long hair ?
Sorry to repeat the story for some of you ......

At the time I met him, I had made a stop to the weekly rollersetting that I had practiced under mother (a hairdresser) influence since I was 6. Instead I was straightening the hair with blowdry. It is my husband who asked me - after I had made a rollerset for a party - to go to that style on a regular basis. Rollersetting again is a constraint for me, but I do not think that I should not make the effort for him and he certainly give me rewards for this effort. Some weeks ago, he asked me if would be Ok to grow hair further (to waist). This means for me an even more painful process as for the rollersetting (huge set and long drying). We discussed it and he withdraw his request, when I described him the nightmare under the hood. But in turn, I have decided to go that way to please him. If I can find some technical solutions to ease the process, I will use them obviously, but if this not the case I will send the necessary hours under the hood because I love him. It may sound ridiculous, but it is the truth....

I agree that this post is a bit controversial, but it was in no way meant to be when I started the thread. I totally appreciate the different views, and I really am thankful for the responses! Whether they are in line with my thoughts is totally irrelevant. I am a glass half-ful person, and I can appreciate a healthy debate, because it helps me grow and see more sides of the story.

Having said that, I don't think what you're doing is silly. I agree, you should please your hubby by doing the things he likes. In turn, he should also do the things you like! If you like his hair long, he should grow it!! If you don't want a beer belly, he should hit the gym! All this is in reason, and you should never completely compromise self.

I think that's important to any relationship. I think the debate here is whether or not you should make the change before you get the guy.

Thanks for your input . Regardless of when you make changes for someone else and for what reason, you have to ask the question, "Would I be happy after making these changes and this person was no longer around?"

 

[pookeylou]

Excellent discussion.

Always have to ask "Mr. Pookeylou's" point of view on topics like these. Asked him, "What do real men find attractive?" (I'm not talkin about the bubble headed, only lookin for the video chick booty licious girls. Or the so-called "corporate" types who feel like they have a bit of money and feel like they need a "trophy-type" on their arm to make them appear as if they have accomplished more than what they have. Let's keep it real...all of those types are all superficial and no real loving dedicated relationship is involved there.)

Mr Pookey said, "A real man doesn't want a woman who has to change anything to get him. She already is."

I love me some him.

If you have to change to get him...your hair, your speach, your clothes, your eye color...then that means queens...he doesnt like you. He doesnt like what you already are. If he doesnt like your hair nappy...then he doesnt like you. If he harrasses you to get a perm or to press it, then next it will be to get your nails done. Then next it will be to get contacts. Then next it will be to get your breast enlarged. Then your lips done. Then to lose weight. Then butt implants...YOU WILL NEVER BE ENOUGH.

It is ok to have your own preference. But it is not ok to try to turn you into thier preference. If you weren't that before...then they should not have picked you.

Be you.

 

[Daughter]

Regardless of when you make changes for someone else and for what reason, you have to ask the question, "Would I be happy after making these changes and this person was no longer around?"

And there you have it! Also would those changes make you a better person?

 

[SouthernGirl]

Excellent discussion.

Always have to ask "Mr. Pookeylou's" point of view on topics like these. Asked him, "What do real men find attractive?" (I'm not talkin about the bubble headed, only lookin for the video chick booty licious girls. Or the so-called "corporate" types who feel like they have a bit of money and feel like they need a "trophy-type" on their arm to make them appear as if they have accomplished more than what they have. Let's keep it real...all of those types are all superficial and no real loving dedicated relationship is involved there.)

Mr Pookey said, "A real man doesn't want a woman who has to change anything to get him. She already is."

I love me some him.

If you have to change to get him...your hair, your speach, your clothes, your eye color...then that means queens...he doesnt like you. He doesnt like what you already are. If he doesnt like your hair nappy...then he doesnt like you. If he harrasses you to get a perm or to press it, then next it will be to get your nails done. Then next it will be to get contacts. Then next it will be to get your breast enlarged. Then your lips done. Then to lose weight. Then butt implants...YOU WILL NEVER BE ENOUGH.

It is ok to have your own preference. But it is not ok to try to turn you into thier preference. If you weren't that before...then they should not have picked you.

Be you.

Hey Pookeylou

Please tell Mr. Pookeylou we all said hello, and thanks for weighing in. I wish there were some guys on the board that could also weigh in. I asked a couple, but I'd like to hear other perspectives.

I encourage everyone who is interested in this discussion to bounce this topic off your SOs, friends, fathers, colleagues, etc.

Let's hear what the men have to say!!

 

[bellydancer]

not to insult your friend, but that sounds really stupid. I attract the same type of guys that I attracted when I used to be relaxed. THUGS!!! lol my boyfriend now isn't the corporate type or the artsy type. he's kinda a thug lol (just a little bit of a bad boy), but he's a sweet heart. I digress. Back to your friend. I really hope she was joking. All the guys that I have dated were attracted to my personality. Plus you never know... those artsy guys might be able to treat her way better than any corporate guy could.

 

[PrettyBrownEyes]

Maybe your friend should try wearing a long real-looking weave. She won't have to sacrifice her natural hair texture and she can also see if she notices a difference in the type of men that approach her.

 

[Daughter]

Excellent discussion.

Always have to ask "Mr. Pookeylou's" point of view on topics like these. Asked him, "What do real men find attractive?" (I'm not talkin about the bubble headed, only lookin for the video chick booty licious girls. Or the so-called "corporate" types who feel like they have a bit of money and feel like they need a "trophy-type" on their arm to make them appear as if they have accomplished more than what they have. Let's keep it real...all of those types are all superficial and no real loving dedicated relationship is involved there.)

Mr Pookey said, "A real man doesn't want a woman who has to change anything to get him. She already is."

I love me some him.

If you have to change to get him...your hair, your speach, your clothes, your eye color...then that means queens...he doesnt like you. He doesnt like what you already are. If he doesnt like your hair nappy...then he doesnt like you. If he harrasses you to get a perm or to press it, then next it will be to get your nails done. Then next it will be to get contacts. Then next it will be to get your breast enlarged. Then your lips done. Then to lose weight. Then butt implants...YOU WILL NEVER BE ENOUGH.

It is ok to have your own preference. But it is not ok to try to turn you into thier preference. If you weren't that before...then they should not have picked you.

Be you.

*standing ovation* and let the church say "yaymen"!

 

[Mahalialee4]

Keisha: Denzel and Wesley Snipes do not represent all natural men but I trust that we know that those men are both natural. Don King (whom) I "politely" referred to as being avante garde! to me is representative of "those who are in the "look at me-don't give a d----about you or your mama, ima King/Queen / goddess and I can be as bad as I wanna be and make sure errybody notice me!---I'm so natural I don't even have to try and look socially presentable or smell clean...just natural..is all I gotta be and that makes me all that...(snap!) ...and they are either socially unaware or they get off on it! I did not include the men who wear dreadlocks (which I happen to love and a whole variety of other natural styles that the bros are wearing that I find very attractive. Don King's hair style is an in your face...kiss my butt statement if I ever saw one. But that is my personal opinion and the message it sends to me. Basiclly, I was speaking in "natural contrasts from GQ vs Wildmen/Women flamboyments! Hope this helps.

 

[Jenai]

Any updates on your friend's decison, SG?