SouthernGirl
New Member
jd_bdfly said:I'm sorry, but Don King does not equal avant-garde. Don King equals a darn fool!
jd_bdfly said:I'm sorry, but Don King does not equal avant-garde. Don King equals a darn fool!
kizzylonghair said:Can I just go a little deeper !!
Society in general have a standard mode as what is considered Attractive and beautifal. Look at the femailes at the top there game whether it be music or movies.
Beyonce, J Lo, Noami Campell, Aaliyah, etc, etc Beside thier bodies/Voices/talent what do they have in common. Great and the key word VERSATILE hair.(Whether its theirs or not) There are a few excepts to the rule Halle Berry and Jada Pinket but there are so out numbered.
I am not sayin that natural sisters dont get there credit Laryn Hill, Jill Scott etc etc .I dont mean to offend but these sisters are naturals I TALKING NAPPY 4 Type Hair.
Not the Alicia Keys, and Kelis natural.
Its such a shame that these naturals or shorter hair sisters dont get the L'Oreal or Pepsi contracts. Why Not.
Personally I am more likely to admire a natural, who has embraced her hairs natural state. But my hair is relaxed simply because I like it straight and its not relaxed for any other reason.
I live in the England, Where to see a women of color (not mixed Race) with long relaxed hair is like wearing a crown. people will go up to you and comment (Ask if its yours LOL) and wonder why its so long.
Its such a shame that we have not been eduacted to look after our hair for so long.
However you want to wear your lets just keep embracing each other and help each other to get there.!!!!!
Good luck
ccd said:This is her personal decision based on her experiences.....I can understand how she thinks a corporate man wants a certain look...that is because at the end of the day, this man is trying to work and succeed in a predominently white, male dominanted environment that has its ideals and standards that we all know about.....he may think life would be "easier" with a certain image....it sucks, I'm not saying it is right or fair but its true....they are trying to survive, actually better than that they are trying to succeed, be the top of their game. This society, world images (and most definitely corporate America!!!) show that a certain type of women and man, image, ideal is acceptable, appropriate and appealing.
This is not an issue about hair necessarily its about a mindset, its really about the type of men she has meet and their philosophies, ideals whatever...she is not satisfied with the artsy, boho types because she wants something different....its her perogative and maybe, just maybe
(let say ) she makes the change and realizes the men she is attracting as a relaxed head are not the types she wants either then she will be able to go back to natural with no problems because you will be there to give her tips on transistioning.... but more importantly she will realized its more than hair appeal that makes for a soul mate....if someone is into you only for you hair, weight, superficial stuff than that will last for so long...she has to realize and she that for herself
Let your friend have her experiences....as long as she is not harming herself, I think you should support her while giving her your perspective on things.....I think people learn best through their own experience.
Peace
Daughter said:I4. If a man won't look your way because of your hair texture HE AIN'T FOR YOU!
Daughter said:Hi Sassygirl! Please allow a London systah to translate... *whispering* bollocks = testicles
ccd said:This is an interesting thread with alot of great, inciteful posts ( among them Mahalilee, Tracy, Daughter and MK....)
With that said, no one knows what someone else goes through unless you walk in their shoes....
I think your friends decision is hers to make, it may not be to your liking or your perspective on relaxed hair has changed for you ( you are currently transitioning right) but your friend may need a change to see what it is like....
maybe she doesn't realize that her hair may or may not bring her soul mate into her life (while hair is not the reason you meet the right person, some people gain more confidence when they make a change like, going from a brunnette to a blond, losing weight, getting braces, whitening your teeth )
This is her personal decision based on her experiences.....I can understand how she thinks a corporate man wants a certain look...that is because at the end of the day, this man is trying to work and succeed in a predominently white, male dominanted environment that has its ideals and standards that we all know about.....he may think life would be "easier" with a certain image....it sucks, I'm not saying it is right or fair but its true....they are trying to survive, actually better than that they are trying to succeed, be the top of their game. This society, world images (and most definitely corporate America!!!) show that a certain type of women and man, image, ideal is acceptable, appropriate and appealing.
This is not an issue about hair necessarily its about a mindset, its really about the type of men she has meet and their philosophies, ideals whatever...she is not satisfied with the artsy, boho types because she wants something different....its her perogative and maybe, just maybe
(let say ) she makes the change and realizes the men she is attracting as a relaxed head are not the types she wants either then she will be able to go back to natural with no problems because you will be there to give her tips on transistioning.... but more importantly she will realized its more than hair appeal that makes for or brings about a soul mate....if someone is into you only for you hair, weight, superficial stuff than that will last for so long...she has to realize and see that for herself
Let your friend have her experiences....as long as she is not harming herself, I think you should support her while giving her your perspective on things.....I think people learn best through their own experience.
Peace
dreemssold said:Ideally, I would say she should keep her hair natural, but realistically, I believe she may find what she wants (or thinks she wants) by changing her hair. I say think she wants, because I agree that if and when she does attract this man who wants her more because of her straightened tresses, she may realize he is not at all what she wanted. I would say to voice your opinions about what she has likely already considered--that changing what you are or how you look to attract someone will probably bring you someone who is not truly the one for you and that once you "have" this person, you may forever be locked into a role that isn't you--but not to be overly aggressive. Be supportive no matter what she decides...I am sure she will not get that from most that she tells this to, and she will likely need it.
O/T: SG, I was just about to send you a PM, because I saw your Surge album and O M G ! Your hair is incredible!!! Way to grow, dearie !!
ms_kenesha said:she is nixing boho for corporate and if you're going to eliminate a class of men for some reason, she must now that just like boho is not her cup of tea, for corporate she may not be his. This is what happens when people focus on the outside instead of inside.[/color][/font]
sassygirl125 said:
I knew it was bad, but not that bad! The wrestler William Regal of Blackpool, England says this all the time. I may have you translate some more of his terms.
sassygirl125 said:Change your hair texture to snag a husband?! Bollocks!
I'm not sure what that means, but it seems to fit...
BLESSED1 said:Well geez louise, if she did attract this "ideal" marrying man it sounds like he'd dump her the minute she's due for a touch up!
curlybun said:I don't think that she should do it for a man . She should do it because she wants to do it for her self if it will make her happy.
take myself as an example : I don't regret texurizing, and when I met my bf I was natural and always sported a twist out or a press'n curl . I knew I wanted to go back when I realized that I usually wear it straight anyways. hmmm I wonder , does your friend ever wear her hair straight via pressn'curl?? if not then maybe it is not for her because she has to feel good about her new look otherwise she might regret it.HTH
albane said:This is a very controversial topic, to say the less.
In this field I rather conservative judgment. My husband fall in love with me because of a complex set of features, one between others being my long hair. Why should I deny him the right to love my long hair ?
Sorry to repeat the story for some of you ......
At the time I met him, I had made a stop to the weekly rollersetting that I had practiced under mother (a hairdresser) influence since I was 6. Instead I was straightening the hair with blowdry. It is my husband who asked me - after I had made a rollerset for a party - to go to that style on a regular basis. Rollersetting again is a constraint for me, but I do not think that I should not make the effort for him and he certainly give me rewards for this effort. Some weeks ago, he asked me if would be Ok to grow hair further (to waist). This means for me an even more painful process as for the rollersetting (huge set and long drying). We discussed it and he withdraw his request, when I described him the nightmare under the hood. But in turn, I have decided to go that way to please him. If I can find some technical solutions to ease the process, I will use them obviously, but if this not the case I will send the necessary hours under the hood because I love him. It may sound ridiculous, but it is the truth....
SouthernGirl said:Regardless of when you make changes for someone else and for what reason, you have to ask the question, "Would I be happy after making these changes and this person was no longer around?"
pookeylou said:Excellent discussion.
Always have to ask "Mr. Pookeylou's" point of view on topics like these. Asked him, "What do real men find attractive?" (I'm not talkin about the bubble headed, only lookin for the video chick booty licious girls. Or the so-called "corporate" types who feel like they have a bit of money and feel like they need a "trophy-type" on their arm to make them appear as if they have accomplished more than what they have. Let's keep it real...all of those types are all superficial and no real loving dedicated relationship is involved there.)
Mr Pookey said, "A real man doesn't want a woman who has to change anything to get him. She already is."
I love me some him.
If you have to change to get him...your hair, your speach, your clothes, your eye color...then that means queens...he doesnt like you. He doesnt like what you already are. If he doesnt like your hair nappy...then he doesnt like you. If he harrasses you to get a perm or to press it, then next it will be to get your nails done. Then next it will be to get contacts. Then next it will be to get your breast enlarged. Then your lips done. Then to lose weight. Then butt implants...YOU WILL NEVER BE ENOUGH.
It is ok to have your own preference. But it is not ok to try to turn you into thier preference. If you weren't that before...then they should not have picked you.
Be you.
pookeylou said:Excellent discussion.
Always have to ask "Mr. Pookeylou's" point of view on topics like these. Asked him, "What do real men find attractive?" (I'm not talkin about the bubble headed, only lookin for the video chick booty licious girls. Or the so-called "corporate" types who feel like they have a bit of money and feel like they need a "trophy-type" on their arm to make them appear as if they have accomplished more than what they have. Let's keep it real...all of those types are all superficial and no real loving dedicated relationship is involved there.)
Mr Pookey said, "A real man doesn't want a woman who has to change anything to get him. She already is."
I love me some him.
If you have to change to get him...your hair, your speach, your clothes, your eye color...then that means queens...he doesnt like you. He doesnt like what you already are. If he doesnt like your hair nappy...then he doesnt like you. If he harrasses you to get a perm or to press it, then next it will be to get your nails done. Then next it will be to get contacts. Then next it will be to get your breast enlarged. Then your lips done. Then to lose weight. Then butt implants...YOU WILL NEVER BE ENOUGH.
It is ok to have your own preference. But it is not ok to try to turn you into thier preference. If you weren't that before...then they should not have picked you.
Be you.