should i STAY WITH MY HUSBAND IF HE RAPES ME?

[Shimmie]

No.....

Men are commanded to love their wives; not abuse them. To be men who protects and embraces them; to treat their wives as the tender one, least their prayers be hindered.

A man who rapes his wife is a violent, sick and perverted of mind and spirit. Not only is he abusing his wife's body, he is abusing her spirit.

Not God.... Not a Godly spirit.

 

[aribell]

See, this is where I always get confused. So since the Bible is also a history book, with each passage tailored to the customs of a certain time period, would it be a fair to assert that most scriptures are now outdated? How do we differentiate between what should and should not be heeded in this day and age? Is this a man-made decision ? I mean, I understand the OT vs NT, but I have seen scripture from the OT used more times than I can count to validate an argument. For example, Leviticus when referring to gay's...

I think in reading the Bible from cover to cover, you really can see the things that are consistent all the way through and the things that are particular to certain places in time. The Lord gave certain commandments to Israel in order to separate them from the surrounding culture and as a symbolic foreshadowing of Jesus' coming. And in the New Testament in Galatians, Hebrews, and Acts in particular, the Apostle Paul (and Peter in Acts) addresses the relationship of the Old Testament laws and rituals to the New Israel, the Church.

Also, in reading Deuteronomy and Leviticus you can see laws that are not only symbolic or ceremonial, like the eating of certain foods, but are about justice and righteousness and our relationship to one another. So the ceremonial laws of the Old Covenant are fulfilled in Jesus and no longer hold, but the laws about immorality are consistent all the way through. Homosexuality in the Bible is a sin from Genesis to Revelation. So is adultery, greed, envy, neglect of the poor, etc. And also, there were things that God allowed in the OT that didn't necessarily reflect His ways, like men having multiple wives. And Jesus even says that God permitted divorce because of "the hardness of your hearts," but it still wasn't His will.

I think for the whole Bible to make sense we have to get what the whole story is first and that the Bible is not just a collection of various commands, but an unfolding narrative.

 

[aribell]

Like Kurlybella said, I have also always understood the sexual immorality spoken of by Jesus to mean adultery. The only problem I see with using the term "sexual immorality" in a broad sense, to encompass any kind of sexual sin is that it encompasses too much. Lust is an aspect of sexual immorality. So is a husband's looking at pornography. I don't think those things can be grounds for divorce.

But maybe there is a better definition of adultery than just sleeping with someone who is not your spouse. The words describing sexual sins in the bible are tricky for translators since there wasn't necessarily a 1 to 1 correspondence between the words they used to convey a certain concept and the words we have to convey a certain concept. I think some stuff is lost in translation.

 

[Shimmie]

I think in reading the Bible from cover to cover, you really can see the things that are consistent all the way through and the things that are particular to certain places in time. The Lord gave certain commandments to Israel in order to separate them from the surrounding culture and as a symbolic foreshadowing of Jesus' coming. And in the New Testament in Galatians, Hebrews, and Acts in particular, the Apostle Paul (and Peter in Acts) addresses the relationship of the Old Testament laws and rituals to the New Israel, the Church.

Also, in reading Deuteronomy and Leviticus you can see laws that are not only symbolic or ceremonial, like the eating of certain foods, but are about justice and righteousness and our relationship to one another. So the ceremonial laws of the Old Covenant are fulfilled in Jesus and no longer hold, but the laws about immorality are consistent all the way through. Homosexuality in the Bible is a sin from Genesis to Revelation. So is adultery, greed, envy, neglect of the poor, etc. And also, there were things that God allowed in the OT that didn't necessarily reflect His ways, like men having multiple wives. And Jesus even says that God permitted divorce because of "the hardness of your hearts," but it still wasn't His will.

I think for the whole Bible to make sense we have to get what the whole story is first and that the Bible is not just a collection of various commands, but an unfolding narrative.

 

[kayte]

Really sorry you were offended but it seems like she was trying to explain the brutality at all...and why she would not want to stay with anyone who did that to her. People have discussed rape very explicitly here. It's not to be disrespectful and not saying that she has, but how would you really know that she hasn't experienced exactly what she is speaking of? I commend her for apologizing but it's not necessarily insensitive or meant to be. JMHO...

as one has been the survivor of an attemped rape which involved a knife
I found the description..{it seemed evil to me} and completely unneccesary....
we know what rape is ..what's involved...what brutality is..
does that make it okay...to say whatever ..you want?

not necessarily insensitive

I dont even know what this means....


certainly there can be contrustructive dialogue about this subject but the
OP could have made her point without.....that commentary..

& your focus on commending an apology?
~dont much care~

it's not about not being explicit..nothing wrong inherently wrong with explicitness...and offended? that's not my word..rather..I found it first sad, and then harmful...and I'm also sad to say this.. but,in terms of respect, there is none for the OP's post or your post defending this and admiring her apology

Let's not even use the word Christian ..but..
Spiritually minded,caring individuals employ restraint in graphic description of violence out of love for others...and out of a sense of responsbility for something greater than gratifying an immediate moment

presumably, women in this thread are okay with it and that's fine..
what about those women who were hurt by it? ....I was not the only one affected negatively...or hurt...just the only one who spoke up.

Ephesians 5:3-4) . . .Let fornication and uncleanness of every sort or greediness not even be mentioned among you, just as it befits holy people; 4 neither shameful conduct nor foolish talking nor obscene jesting, things which are not becoming, but rather the giving of thanks.


Ephesians 4:29 tells us, "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen."

 

[kayte]

i'm sorry that you feel that it's insensitive, i didn't feel that way. we post very descriptive things on this board, however i apologize if you feel offended.

no of course you don't view it as insensitive...that's the nature of insensitivity and cruelty
the person feels entitled to say whatever they want~
it doesn't affect them, you follow?....so they have no personal investment

{unless they have love/Christ in their hearts}

to choose their words with care on such a subject that some women are healing from

it says in the bible ....regardless of all the laughing smilies you used...
God cannot be mocked..
if that means anything to you

 

[Blossssom]

Some women like that kind of ravishment.......

LOL!

 

[Blossssom]

omg i'm laughing so loud at this response and that smiley!

LOL!

*breathe, Blossssom, BREATHE*

 

[trenise]

There are so many points of view that can be taken on this. I know of people who have been raped, but mostly physically abused. I'll tell you that my grandmother was in the situation before I was even born and my mother had to grow up seeing it. My grandmother used to talk to me about it when I was a child. Really, I knew too much. She stayed because she'd never had a job, had children, and nowhere else to go. If you are depending on that man to take care of you, you stay. How many confident professional college educated big banking women paying the mortgage do you think would put up with this?

Controversal thought: could it be that the abused woman is getting something from the relationship? place to stay, bills paid, perceived security, upkeeping an image for all those people she doesn't want to know her business?

 

[blazingthru]

[/quoteAbusers may be great manipulators, but I don't believe that they can completely hide their true nature/abilities from EVERYONE. At some point they abused something or someone and in the interest of protecting myself and my future children, it's my job to find that out. If I don't take the necessary precautions, then I think I have some fault in the situation.[/quote]

They can hide it, they work so hard at hiding it it comes out but unless you know about abuse you wont' see it you just think something is off with that person.
I know woman stay with abusers becuase they do not have any hope. they do not have a strong relationship with the Lord and or fellowship with church members and have some means of support to leave thier husbands. You need a lot of support to leave your husband, your home, your only (maybe) possible means of support. Besides by the time it has escalated to violence he has already broken you in many other ways. Its not black and White like many think.
Divorce is a selfish way of ending Marriage its a way to say God you do not have the power to fix this, When if we had followed him completely from the begining it would have never went down this way. but since we are in the mess it is safe to separate from one another. We can separate and try to work through forgiveness from what our spouses did to abuse us, its no different then what people do out in the street you forgive them and put it in the hands of the Lord that is all you can do anyway. More then likely your husband will cheat on you if he hasn't already and you will have grounds for divorce but I really honestly think you have to work on forgiveness first. THen you have to work on your relationship with the lord and healing. If its in his will for you to find another mate then God will bless you with it. but your reasoning for the divorce has to be pure, it can't be out of anger or revenge or satisfaction ( yeah he did it now I got the grounds) I'm taking him to the cleaners this all comes from the devil. If you want the blessings from the Lord you do all things according to his will and purpose. He understands everything we are going through.

 

[MissYocairis]

*poof*

This was only up for a limited time.